in a dilemma ... need some advice, urgently


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Nov 30, 2017
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50th anniversary is a pretty big deal. I wouldn't care what the siblings think, but I'd talk to mom and dad and see how important the celebration is to them. If they're planning a big thing on the day itself, see if they'd be ok with you or your family just coming for a day or two to be there for the big event.

My family is scattered all over, so getting together for my parents' 50th was a big too-doo. Some of us rented rooms for a week, others just came to the banquet dinner.

Since you're all closer and not gathering at the old family homestead, it may very well be fine to skip it. But I'd definitely talk to mom and dad to make sure you wouldn't be casting a pall over their enjoyment of a day that's supposed to be about them.
70th birthday isn't as big a thing. Lots of people live that long and there will probably be other birthdays. But 50th anniversary is a milestone that most people never make. With a lot of luck there'll be a 75th, and really the 51st is even bigger than the 50th. But for a lot of the great generation and boomers, the 50th is a really special occasion.