I want a girl who asks me to do things that I have to Google.


Well-Known Member
Feb 11, 2014
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NW NJ Exit 25
My life is a never ending string of "What was I gonna do just now?". Just got into a bit of a spat with the man at the roulette wheel in Vegas over what I consider to be an odd number.

Thanks a lot bathroom doors with the gender written in weird symbols.

I just want to pee, not solve a sudoku puzzle.

I'm so poor I can't even pay for my own consequences.

I may not be the smartest guy in the room, but I’m not the best looking either. Not sure where I was going with this.

Women like honesty because it helps them rule you out faster.

If eyes are the window to the soul, then the mouth is the barn door.

Real blondes don't drive SmartCars.

The closest I get to dating anymore is guessing someone's age.

She has a million dollar figure, but the top half is counterfeit.

I've been knocking for ten minutes. Don't people answer their bathroom windows anymore?

All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they're being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.

My kids are giving all the people on this plane a hard lesson in birth control right now.

I cried during that sad part of Titanic. You know, when Rose threw that expensive diamond into the ocean.

If being skeptical is wrong, prove it.

Ich bin ein Hamburger.

The carpet-bombing of Hamburg killed 40,000 people. It also did good
In the early hours of 25 July 1943, nearly 800 RAF Halifaxes and Lancasters launched a 50-minute bombing raid on the Third Reich’s second largest city,...

If you LOVE FOX News and live for it day & night like I do, please troll Alan's site. But keep it classy, or you might get banned. Libs use tactics to get you worked up, don't fall into their trap.

Alan Colmes
Public Figure · 14,608 Likes


Bump. Just to be annoying.