# Make up a lie about the Previous poster



## StootMonster

OK, this is something I pulled from another forum I go to. Hopefully it hasn't been done here, because it's really fun.

Make up a lie about the person who posted before you.


----------



## carnada

Im gonna get started.



You dont have a fender guitar


----------



## thrawn86

You'll never have sex.


----------



## midgo

You like to wear ladies lingerie!!!


----------



## thrawn86

midgo said:


> You like to wear ladies lingerie!!!



Not a lie. Try again, please!


----------



## midgo

Ha ha!! Had a feeling i might get that response!!

You don't like rubbing your nipples in front of the mirror to air supply!!
lol!!


----------



## carnada

thrawn86 said:


> You'll never have sex.



fuck man ahahahahaha omg haha


----------



## carnada

midgo said:


> Ha ha!! Had a feeling i might get that response!!
> 
> You don't like rubbing your nipples in front of the mirror to air supply!!
> lol!!



you have been in the forum for 10 years


----------



## StootMonster

You wish you were an American.


----------



## carnada

StootMonster said:


> You wish you were an American.



your dick is really big


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

carnada said:


> your dick is really big


Yet yours is unused....LOL....Sorry Dude!


----------



## carnada

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Yet yours is unused....LOL....Sorry Dude!



just wait tyll sunday man! im gonna have a good story to tell!


----------



## Wilder Amplification

He actually will have a good story to tell


----------



## MartyStrat54

Wilder is a VP from Groove Tubes posing as an amp builder.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

MartyStrat54 said:


> Wilder is a VP from Groove Tubes posing as an amp builder.



Marty is the new owner of Groove Tubes posing as a NOS valve aficionado.


----------



## MartyStrat54

In that case, I'm changing the name from Groove Tubes to JJ Tesla. Sort of puts all of the crooks under one banner.


----------



## tbwrench

Uhhhhh- Marty has nothing to do with the boobs thread........AND uses only solid state amps!


----------



## MartyStrat54

My passion for boobs and solid state amps is only surpassed by the beauty I am beholding right now.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

MartyStrat54 said:


> My passion for boobs and solid state amps



OK two things...

First off...what you say in this thread can't have any truth to it.

Second off...it's supposed to be about the person who posted prior to you, not yourself.


----------



## carnada

Wilder Amplification said:


> OK two things...
> 
> First off...what you say in this thread can't have any truth to it.
> 
> Second off...it's supposed to be about the person who posted prior to you, not yourself.



you dont know shit about MIDI and you live in the south pole


----------



## thrawn86

You live in the United States. (just trying to get things back on track again....)


----------



## Wilder Amplification

thrawn86 said:


> You live in the United States. (just trying to get things back on track again....)



Doesn't truly believe my quote in his sig line and is just trying to fit in.


----------



## MartyStrat54

...he's the world's most interesting man and only knows the following words in English. "Stay thirsty my friends."


----------



## carnada

MartyStrat54 said:


> ...he's the world's most interesting man and only knows the following words in English. "Stay thirsty my friends."



marty is a really conservative guy that thinks like a 89 year old man, and loves long term relationships


----------



## Wilder Amplification

carnada said:


> marty is a really conservative guy that thinks like a 89 year old man, and loves long term relationships



Carnada is too honest for this thread.


----------



## carnada

Wilder Amplification said:


> Carnada is too honest for this thread.



wilder is actually a girl


----------



## Procter2812

carnada is actually a fan of bum fun!


----------



## bloosman1

Procter is an elevator music composer in New Guinne


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

You'll never get a girl


----------



## thrawn86

The Marshall Vintage Modern is not as good as I had hoped it would be and does not do everything I need. And I do not like Brian May.


----------



## Procter2812

you ONLY wear womens underwear whilst hoovering around the house and doing the gardening, whilst drinking a casual gin and tonic.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Procter2812 said:


> you ONLY wear womens underwear whilst hoovering around the house and doing the gardening, whilst drinking a casual gin and tonic.


Lied in his screen name....its really "Proctologist" and he is giving away free exams


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well you're from the Planet Uranus, so bend over and get your free exam.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MartyStrat54 said:


> Well you're from the Planet Uranus, so bend over and get your free exam.



^^^^^secretly wishes valve amps had Rectumfiers in them....and he buys lubes instead of tubes


----------



## StootMonster

That wasn't the slightest bit funny.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

StootMonster said:


> That wasn't the slightest bit funny.



Thinks the post above his was hilarious.


----------



## carnada

wilder thinks that scooped mids and justice for all type tone is awesome


----------



## MartyStrat54

Carnada has three girlfriends and a 1970 Red Corvette!


----------



## Wilder Amplification

carnada said:


> wilder thinks that scooped mids and justice for all type tone is awesome



Actually...there's truth to that. I just think that most guys who do the "scooped mids" don't do it right and run WAY to much on the highs, which thins it out too much and makes it sound "shill" and gives it that "ice pick" type sound. If you're gonna scoop mids, you have to scoop out the UPPER mids, not the LOWER mids, which is where your "beef" is at.

Now...

Carnada absolutely dispises MIDI and anything Line 6.


----------



## wegman

Wilder doesn't know a thing about amps. 

Wow now that's a whopper.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

wegman said:


> Wilder doesn't know a thing about amps.
> 
> Wow now that's a whopper.



Wegman doesn't even know what an amp is.


----------



## wegman

Wilder Amplification said:


> Wegman doesn't even know what an amp is.



It's supposed to be a lie Jon


----------



## carnada

wegman said:


> It's supposed to be a lie Jon



wegman's favorite amp is the mesa boogie triple rectifier.


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

thrawn86 said:


> The Marshall Vintage Modern is not as good as I had hoped it would be and does not do everything I need. And I do not like Brian May.



Thrawn likes to wear ladies lingerie because SHE is an 8 yr old girl 

Just had to say that,

Now about carnada:

Carnada cant get a girl because he only likes boys!


----------



## Purgasound

Your dream is to sell you VM and Gibby really cheap to me so you can get a First Act LP copy and a MG Marshall.... On a Crate cab! ahhh!


----------



## Wilder Amplification

American Viking said:


> Your dream is to sell you VM and Gibby really cheap to me so you can get a First Act LP copy and a MG Marshall.... On a Crate cab! ahhh!



AV will be the first here on the boards to buy the new JMD:1. Matter of fact he's considering an endorsement deal on 'em.


----------



## Procter2812

Wilder is about to get an electric shcok because he knows jack shit about anything to do with electronics!

Whooooarrrr!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Procter is really StarChild. Oh barf...


----------



## thrawn86

Marty is actually pantera66689 who will never trade his LP Schaefer for an 800, since it reminds him of THE Paul Schaefer.


----------



## Adwex

Thrawn likes crappy beer.


----------



## carnada

Adwex said:


> Thrawn likes crappy beer.



Adwex has a black haired girlfriend xD


----------



## Wilder Amplification

carnada said:


> Adwex has a black haired girlfriend xD



Carnada has LOTS of girlfriends. Those chicks really dig them Line 6 rigs.


----------



## Procter2812

MartyStrat54 said:


> Procter is really StarChild. Oh barf...



 Youve caught me out! CRATE FOR LIFE!!! Naaaattttttttt


----------



## BluesRocker

Procter thinks Crate is better than Orange.


----------



## woodddj

bluesrocker stole pic's from my profile page and then used them for his avatar.


----------



## BluesRocker

woodddj envies my 3 year old nephew because he can pinch harmonic better than Zakk Wylde


----------



## bloosman1

All of Blues Rocker's guitars are really "Act Ones" :-(*)


----------



## Procter2812

bloosman likes to bake cakes with pink icing.


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

Procter2812 said:


> bloosman likes to bake cakes with pink icing.



Procter thinks StarChild is COOL!
And he wants to join his 'band"


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Lespaulnmarshall.....really plays a Hondo thru a Gorilla


----------



## StootMonster

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Lespaulnmarshall.....really plays a Hondo thru a Gorilla



BuggsCrosby is a moderator and leading poster on the Peavey Rage forum.


----------



## Procter2812

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> Procter thinks StarChild is COOL!
> And he wants to join his 'band"



I wish!!!! If only dreams could come true!!


----------



## carnada

Procter2812 said:


> I wish!!!! If only dreams could come true!!



protecter thinks the sex pistols suck balllsss


----------



## MartyStrat54

Carnada is a douche bag manufacturer.


----------



## Procter2812

Marty actuyalltyy thinks that the twister F3 sounds like angelina jolie passing wind!


----------



## carnada

procter is a 300 pound 70 year old woman, that has vagina infection


----------



## Procter2812

carnada said:


> procter is a 300 pound 70 year old woman, that has vagina infection



damn you! i told you not to tell anyone!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Procter is a teenage runaway from Panama and he only has one pair of shorts.


----------



## Procter2812

Marty likes to knit his own boxers whilst sipping a nice cup of tea and a scone.( notice the british hint there)


----------



## Wilder Amplification

Procter2812 said:


> Marty likes to knit his own boxers whilst sipping a nice cup of tea and a scone.( notice the british hint there)



Procter2812 prefers the "Frankie" method of draining filter caps. Sometimes he even uses his hands to drain 'em.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Wilder uses coat hangers for wire in his Classic Classic. It a tone you can get "hung up on."


----------



## BluesRocker

Marty cant tell the difference between a vacuum tube and a light bulb..


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Hates the blues with a Fucking Passion...and would rather play Emo or Trance music


----------



## Wilder Amplification

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Hates the blues with a Fucking Passion...and would rather play Emo or Trance music



Prefers the stock trannys over the MM trannys in his JCM2000.


----------



## tbwrench

Wilder is secretly John Tesch's amp tech


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

TB is secretly John Tesch's Lover


----------



## tbwrench

Bugs is a really really funny guy........who's john tesch?


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

TB is trying to hide the fact he met him on the set of Entertainment Tonight.


----------



## BluesRocker

Buggs.Crosby is in denial of his love for tbwrench, but cant take the fact that tbwrench is madly in love with John Tesch, and deep down inside Buggs wants to mutilate John Tesch so that him and tbwrench can live in their fairly land wearing pink tutus.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

BluesRocker said:


> Buggs.Crosby is in denial of his love for tbwrench, but cant take the fact that tbwrench is madly in love with John Tesch, and deep down inside Buggs wants to mutilate John Tesch so that him and tbwrench can live in their fairly land wearing pink tutus.


LOL....
Blues is really my combat boot wearing, overweight, half black mother!


----------



## carnada

buggs.crosby, has a fetish addiction for spiders!


----------



## Purgasound

carnada really likes Dexi and the Midnight Runners way more than Iron Maiden and has been listening to _The Carpenters Christmas_ album all day.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

AV has a secret desire to off his Marshalls and join Carnada's Line 6 Mafia.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Wilder is coming out with a clone of a Solid State CRATE.


----------



## woodddj

marty plays his ukulele on sidewalks, begging for change to buy stock tubes for his amps


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MartyStrat54 said:


> Wilder is coming out with a clone of a Solid State CRATE.


Thanks for that one...i'm a little old so it caused a dripper!

Marty wishes valves would dissapear and have transistors and diodes take over


----------



## Apostle Tone

Buggs Crosby is actually Bing in the witness protection plan.


----------



## Procter2812

Wilder Amplification said:


> Procter2812 prefers the "Frankie" method of draining filter caps. Sometimes he even uses his hands to drain 'em.



hey... it feels good


----------



## MartyStrat54

Procter thinks "belt rash" is the red marks on his butt cheeks after spending the night with his kinky friends.


----------



## carnada

Marty attends to church everyday


----------



## Procter2812

Carnada wet himself when he first talked to this girl he likes.


----------



## carnada

Procter2812 said:


> Carnada wet himself when he first talked to this girl he likes.



theres some truth on that


----------



## Procter2812

carnada said:


> theres some truth on that



hahahahaha


----------



## MartyStrat54

Procter fantasizes about watching other dudes wet themselves.


----------



## Procter2812

Marty likes the KT88 valve for reasons i can not reveal on the marshall forum!


----------



## carnada

Procter2812 said:


> Marty likes the KT88 valve for reasons i can not reveal on the marshall forum!



procter has a really big penis


----------



## Procter2812

carnada said:


> procter has a really big penis




YOUR SUPPOST TO TELL A LIE CARNADA!!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Procter emails pictures of his penis to an eagerly awaiting Carnada.


----------



## Procter2812

Marty irons his underpants... im running out guys


----------



## kramer.geetar

The 'How to get GIRLS?' thread was actually started to document the ever evolving love story between Procter2812 and carnada


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Kramer is always pondering ways to snort the lines off Eddies 5150


----------



## kramer.geetar

Buggs loves to toss salads


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Wishes he could toss Wolfgang's Salad...While wishing Buggs could turn Valerie's


----------



## kramer.geetar

Buggs wishes he could toss Wolfgang's salad


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

wishes he could lick the Dressing Buggs left on Wolfgangs salad


----------



## kramer.geetar

Hey man you edited yours and added Wolfgang after I got the idea!! thats weak lol

Hmmm....
Buggs uses Viagra and a penis pump to have sex with his neighbours gerbil


----------



## MartyStrat54

...and it's still too damn small.


----------



## BluesRocker

carnada uses an S&M swing to pleasure his neighbors dog and vice versa.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Blues chose a purple head to represent his support to the Gay pride movement!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

This thread was going well but it needs new blood !!! I leave myself open for abuse !!
bring it on Bitches !!!!!


----------



## BluesRocker

Hot Tubes always volunteers himself to be opened up. Mostly at his daily Gay Pride meetings. (and not in a good way)


----------



## woodddj

blues is the founder of the Gay Pride Meetings


----------



## MartyStrat54

WOODDDJ owns property in Arkansas and is the leader of a Nazi movement group.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

MartyStrat54 said:


> WOODDDJ owns property in Arkansas and is the leader of a Nazi movement group.



You forgot to mention that it's beachfront property.


----------



## kramer.geetar

Wilder out sources his amp manufacturing to 8 year olds in China


----------



## Procter2812

karmer.geetar thinks that EVH is an alcoholic tramp who cannot play guitar to save his life!


----------



## kramer.geetar

Procter bought his Orville Redenbacher LP Custom from a flamer and bent over to get a discount


----------



## carnada

kramer.geetar said:


> Procter bought his Orville Redenbacher LP Custom from a flamer and bent over to get a discount



kramer.geetar knows how to spell guitar


----------



## wegman

Carnada is totally relaxed and confident for his date


----------



## kramer.geetar

carnada is gonna get laid tonight


----------



## carnada

awww man, you guys are making me more nervous haha


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Carnada is going to go off in his pants when she kisses her !!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

OH YEAH !! this was supposed to be a lie !! oops !!


----------



## BluesRocker

Hot Tubes is actually the girl carnada is drooling over.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Everytime BluesRocker farts it smells like vasline and old cum !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes has had his nose up in interesting places. What a keen sense of smell. Almost as good as a German Shepard.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStats way of buring in tubes is to rapidly shove his tubes in and out of his ass untill
they get hot .


----------



## woodddj

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> MartyStats way of buring in tubes is to rapidly shove his tubes in and out of his ass untill
> they get hot .



hot tubes shows marty how to do it the right way.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Woodddj is just jealous its not his ass !!


----------



## Procter2812

Hot Tubes is gonna give me his 6100LM for my birthday tomorrow


----------



## woodddj

hot tubes like to rub icy hot on his ass while listning to his Village People records.


----------



## woodddj

and procter is gona help him.


----------



## MartyStrat54

woodddj moved to Mexico and is part of a donkey act in Boy's Town.


----------



## woodddj

marty is a pimp to a gay mexican midgit.


----------



## BluesRocker

woodddj is Marty's gay Mexican midget.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

woodddj said:


> hot tubes like to rub icy hot on his ass while listning to his village people records.[/qu
> 
> LMAO ! LOL !


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

proctor2818 is having delusions about birthday gifts !! Sober up eh !!


----------



## BluesRocker

Hot Tubes bought a 1960 cab under the impression that it was made in 1960 therefor classifying it as vintage.


----------



## MartyStrat54

BluesRocker is back on earth after 22 years of alien abduction. The aliens specialized in orifice explorations.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

And he loved every minute of it !!!


----------



## woodddj

hot tubes loved every minute of it also.


----------



## BluesRocker

Hey Marty does that mean that I was abducted as soon as my mother popped me out? cause well.. I turn 23 Tuesday.


----------



## BluesRocker

Oh and woodddj wishes he could love every inch of hot tubes.


----------



## MartyStrat54

woodddj and Hot Tubes were married in a same sex ceremony in San Francisco and they are hoping to adopt Carnada and Procter.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat & BluesRocker both enjoy sucking farts out of each others asses !!


----------



## kramer.geetar

Hot Tubes is from Saskatoon, enough said!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Kramer.geetar wishes he was from Saskatoon !!!


----------



## BluesRocker

Hot Tubes wishes he could suck the fart out of someones ass because all he has is his neighbors dog that he fondles daily.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

bluesrocker , thought he had a pubic hair , untill he pist out of it !!


----------



## woodddj

bluesrocker is actually hot tubes neighbors dog, but only in disguise.


----------



## woodddj

hot tubes is the only one that knows that a penis can be as small as a pubic hair


----------



## solarburn

woodddj said:


> hot tubes is the only one that knows that a penis can be as small as a pubic hair



I heard he's got you by a hair...

Doh!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

woodddj has made an instructional video on how to masterbate with a penis this small ,
it features BluesRocker on the tweezers !!!!


----------



## solarburn

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> woodddj has made an instructional video on how to masterbate with a penis this small ,
> it features BluesRocker on the tweezers !!!!




Hot tubes shaved down there. Now he's got nuthing...


----------



## BluesRocker

Hot Tubes was the first to buy copies of the movie and was in line to get them signed. He then went home and watched and had to turn it off because he thought he had a big penis until he saw blues rockers.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

I sold off all my copies of the video to get you penis enlargement surgery , but they 
said it was still too small to operate .....


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes rubbed bologna all over his body and then call all the neighbors dogs in to lick him. He videotaped it as a sequel to the first movie.


----------



## solarburn

Marty runs out of peanut butter cause of this...


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

The sad thing is they caught Marty dressed as a dog on the set , and had him removed from the property by security !!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

solarburnDSL50 said:


> Marty runs out of peanut butter cause of this...




LMAO !!! LOL !!!


----------



## kramer.geetar

Hot Tubes private message'd asking where I live so he can stalk and ass rape me with his pubic hair

(Disclaimer: The private message part is actually true  )


----------



## carnada

looks like I have been missing some goood shit since I was with that girl!


----------



## woodddj

carnada's date didnt go to well. he wanted her to watch him rub peanut butter on his ass, while he watched the instructional video.


----------



## BluesRocker

woodddj was carnada's date.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

BluesRocker said:


> woodddj was carnada's date.



BluesRocker is woodddj and carnada's pimp


----------



## solarburn

Wilder Amplification said:


> BluesRocker is woodddj and carnada's pimp



Jon gave me a new amp saying Happy New Year Joe!!!!

No I can't take your money Joe...just have the amp.


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

solarburnDSL50 said:


> Jon gave me a new amp saying Happy New Year Joe!!!!
> 
> No I can't take your money Joe...just have the amp.



Solarburn's 2'nd account is called Starchild132


----------



## kramer.geetar

lespaulmmarshall loves it when his boyfriend gives him the shocker


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

kramer.geetar said:


> lespaulmmarshall loves it when his boyfriend gives him the shocker



Kramer.geetar loves it to penitrate dogs...

And he doesent likes kramers, ohh hell no, he likes behringer strats, behringer amps and, behringer effects !


----------



## solarburn

Lespaulnmarshall's been greas'n Kramers peenar...


----------



## kramer.geetar

assburnDSL50 squeals like a little piggy when his wife puts on the strap-on


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

squeals for more you mean !!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot tubes straps a megaphone to his mouth and then walks backwards repeatedly into the blunt end of a baseball bat. He then squeals so loud the neighbors think he is fucking his poodle again. The police storm the house and find him passed out with half the bat up his ass and the poodle lying dead by a shaving kit and some Oscar Mayer Bologna.


----------



## carnada

LOL omg you guys are too much fun


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Carnada shaved his dogs ass and glued the hair on his face before his date so he would look cooler


----------



## woodddj

carnada stold the bat from the evidence room and uses it on himself


----------



## woodddj

buggs dont like the big bats, he likes the little 3 inch butt plugs


----------



## MartyStrat54

woodddj owns an Adult Store in Bumfuck, Arkansas. He knows all about butt plugs. Ask him about pocket pussies too.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

wooddj , martystrat , buggs.crosby, all take turns flossing there teeth with carnada's 
ass hairs !!


----------



## woodddj

hot tube pulls his teeth out at night, then soaks them in carnada's piss.


----------



## woodddj

im sorry, but thats just nasty. LOL


----------



## carnada

hot tubes original account name was gonna be "HOT PUBES"


----------



## rhys_wtb

carnadas favourite porn parody is my bare lady


----------



## BluesRocker

rhys wtb is the receiver in the My Bare Lady porn and he loved it ohh so dearly


----------



## rhys_wtb

blues rocker has never seen the colour blue XD


----------



## woodddj

rhys wtb and blues where stunt doubles in the movie BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN.


----------



## rhys_wtb

wooodddj was the star in shaving ryans privates


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

rhys_wtb= Re-stuffs His Yoni Strictly With The Boys


----------



## woodddj

buggs is one of the boys


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

And Wooddd loves it when i stuff his Yoni


----------



## BluesRocker

Buggs.Crosby said:


> And Wooddd loves it when i stuff his Yoni



REALLY? 


Buggs is gay.


----------



## MartyStrat54

BluesRocker dug a hole in the sand and put his head in it. His pants were dropped and a target was drawn on his ass cheeks. His location was on the side of the road featuring an all gay marathon. He should get plenty of business.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

And he and his gay friends had a snowball fight after !!!!
oh..... i bet that got messy !!


----------



## Procter2812

Hot Tubes has an underground room full of stocks and whips oh not to mention all the leather bondage suits, where carnada is getting ready to be owned by his lover girl who is about to whap out something which will make carnada feel rather small!


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

Procter2812 sucks.


----------



## Procter2812

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> Procter2812 sucks.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> Procter2812 sucks.



Posts in this thread are supposed to be LIES dude.


----------



## Procter2812

Wilder Amplification said:


> Posts in this thread are supposed to be LIES dude.



wilder hates bumming, he thinks its feels horrible!


----------



## rhys_wtb

procter is going to be the next queen of england XD


----------



## wylde1

Some say.... Rhys only knows 2 facts about ducks... and both are wrong

and that all his potted plants are named "Steve"


----------



## rhys_wtb

that was gonna be my next one :O

some say that wylde is the face on scottish money

and was the inventor of the blue whale


----------



## wylde1

haha I'm glad the reference wasn't lost. I figured you'd get it being from england.


One of his knees seems to attract cats

and when he walks his feet make the wah-wah guitar noise


----------



## MartyStrat54

wylde1 is either smoking something, or he's been in the rat poison again. Whatever, he's hallucinating and I think he needs medical attention. He's frothing at the mouth. Oh wait...there's a chap in the same room with a smile on his face.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MartyStrat54 said:


> wylde1 is either smoking something, or he's been in the rat poison again. Whatever, he's hallucinating and I think he needs medical attention. He's frothing at the mouth. Oh wait...there's a chap in the same room with a smile on his face.


L O Fucking L
Marty was the chap he is referring to


----------



## Procter2812

Buggs works in a brothel with marty dancing on poles showing off his business


----------



## MartyStrat54

Procter had to ask his sister what a "hard-on" is.


----------



## woodddj

procter2812 is short for, im a gay proctologist that has examined 2812 gay men.


----------



## woodddj

and marty was the 2812th man


----------



## Procter2812

hahahaha witty child!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

procter gave woodddj to marty , and he liked it !!!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes put his dick in a hot dog bun and ate himself. It took just one small bite. Sure was a lot of bun...yuck!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes put his dick in a hot dog bun and ate himself. It took just one small bite. Sure was a lot of bun...yuck!


Self cannibal/manablisation?....he must have learned that from Marty!...i knew you were that guy in the movie Short Bus that ****** in his own face


----------



## BluesRocker

Buggs was the driver of the Face Fucking Short Bus. And he actually participated while driving too. Damn thats talent.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

BluesRocker likes to hang out with his close pal Rob Halford and diddle little boys ....


----------



## MartyStrat54

Rob Halford is actually Julie Andrews and Hot Tubes is married to her. So by proxy, every time he kisses her (him) he is kissing a mouth that if it had as many dicks sticking out of it as have been in it, it would look like a banana grove.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Martystrat has appeared on Jerry Springer to admit his love of a midget cabana boy with a harelip !!!!


----------



## Wilder Amplification

MartyStrat54 said:


> Rob Halford is actually Julie Andrews and Hot Tubes is married to her. So by proxy, every time he kisses her (him) he is kissing a mouth that if it had as many dicks sticking out of it as have been in it, it would look like a banana grove.



MartyStrat is married to Aspen Pittman.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

thats who showed him how to burn in the tubes ( the anal way !! )


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes always starts his evening meal off with a dick salad. Then it is usually something Chinese like, Cum Of Sum Young Guy.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes always starts his evening meal off with a dick salad. Then it is usually something Chinese like, Cum Of Sum Young Guy.



L.M.F.A.O !!! good one !!

May the flees of a thousand camels infest your armpits !!


----------



## kramer.geetar

The morning after HOT NOOBS 70 lost his virginity:

"Mom?!"


----------



## BluesRocker

Kramer Geetar still has his virginity. Unless you count the neighbors gerbil, but we wont go into that.(Even though Kramer did many times)


----------



## carnada

damn im still a virgin fuck..................


----------



## Procter2812

carnada wants to suck on this girls ass hair!


----------



## rhys_wtb

procter wishes he had girls ass hair XD


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Dudes , i think we need to find some new blood for this thread !! it hurtin bad !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well try this. Hot Tubes entered a "Big Dick" contest and quickly realized that he was short by about ten-inches. He won the "Pee-Wee" title.


----------



## BluesRocker

Marty wishes that one day he too can enter a big dick contest. But before he can do so he has to find it.


----------



## rjohns1

Wilder Amplification said:


> MartyStrat is married to Aspen Pittman.



Dude that made me spit out my coffee all over the monitor! 

Oh, and Blues Rocker likes little boys!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty !!! your one to talk ... your dick don't even touch your gotch !!!


----------



## woodddj

hot tubes has a history of long term anal abuse. he likes to insert 2 ltr bottles up his ass


----------



## BluesRocker

woodddj has the world record of shoving 2 liter bottles up his ass and that is 6.


----------



## woodddj

bluesrocker got caught having sex with a 2 ltr bottle. he had to go to the ER to have it removed, because his wee wee got stuck in the part that the cap screws on.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

woodddj said:


> bluesrocker got caught having sex with a 2 ltr bottle. he had to go to the ER to have it removed, because his wee wee got stuck in the part that the cap screws on.



woodddj is able to have sex with 2 ltr bottles without getting his wee wee stuck in the throat of the bottle.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Wilder sells ice cream outside of Groove Tubes. Aspen is his favorite customer and always gives him a big "tip." Aspen loves his fudge bars.


----------



## solarburn

Double dip on Wilder:

Wilder's a goose!

Don't ask...


----------



## MartyStrat54

SolarBurn pets all of his amps and has given them names. He even takes them to bed with him. He is trying to get that "thick, gooey, chewy rub sound."


----------



## Procter2812

Marty stuck his winkle in the Output of his twister with the volume on 10 for some serious twister loving.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Procter hangs an old power transformer to the head of his wanker with alligator clips. He is trying to stretch it out so he isn't lying when he tells the girls he has two-inches.


----------



## darrylportelli

marty likes to smell his own farts...sometimes he even uses that machine that the idiots from jackass have so he could attach it to the fattest hairiest guy he finds and smell his farts....he also uses fart gas to fill his tubes so they become ionisation chambers and glow in fart colours!!!(sorry marty its just the thread!! love your posts)


----------



## MartyStrat54

darryl likes to ride his bicycle without a seat and his underpants on backwards. He then rides down the bumpiest road in his town, squealing out loud in joy.

:


----------



## darrylportelli

heres marty:
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LYLASfpv0E[/ame]
hope every body likes your stupidness!!
(please dont reply so I dont have to say shit about you again LOL This lying thing is a good way to blow off steam you know!!!)


----------



## j2112c

This got lost... in the forum crash.. but I will recyle it.. lucky darryl..

darrylportelli is the long lost love child of Bobo the Clown and a 3ft Circus Midget.
That is why he gets an erection everytime he sees a big top.


----------



## darrylportelli

(how did you know that ???!!!!??!?!?!?! LOL)

2112 eats his own shit then shits it again and the cycle goes on foreveer!!
sorry for the lamo joke but its late here and its after band rehersals so Im beat!!
take care


----------



## MartyStrat54

darryl does get worn out from band practice. He is a member of an eight-piece all gay orchestra. Darryl plays the oboe, French horn and Skin Flute. To keep his lips nice and limber he blows everyone in the band...twice.

No wonder he's tired.


----------



## rhys_wtb

marty doesnt own a strat :O


----------



## MartyStrat54

rhys has bad eyes and this complicates matters when he needs to take a piss. Finding it is bad enough. Holding it with the tweezers is down right difficult.

:eek2::eek2::eek2::eek2:


----------



## rhys_wtb

hey marty, can i have my glasses back, i need to take a whizz


ironically, marty got his first pube while watching shaving ryans privates

coincidence, i think so


----------



## j2112c

In his quest to play faster Rhys mistook the forum members instruction of two handed tapping for alternate picking and need a proctologist to free his hands!!

ugh.. now wash your hands!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

J2112C likes to flawce his teeth with Martys ass hairs !!


----------



## Wilder Amplification

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> J2112C likes to flawce his teeth with Martys ass hairs !!



Hot Tubes created the art of flossing with ass hairs...which earned him the name "Hot Pubes".


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Wilder likes to touch his sack with loaded capacitors just for fun !!
He says " Its a shockingly good time "


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes decided it was time for his sister to move on with her own life. He gave her five good years of his life. He wishes she would hurry up and leave, as he has shaved the ass on his neighbors cat and is looking forward to a little late night fun. The cat is special as it has been trained to blow up Hot Tubes love doll. The cat, the love doll and his sister. He's done just about everything except the bearded female midget with a two-inch penis and she's coming over tomorrow.


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

Marty likes Line 6's and Crates and he is posting ugly girls in the boobs thread.


----------



## theflyingmat

Lespaulmarshall, has neither a Les Paul or a Marshall, in fact he does not play guitar at all, but is simply a music forum stalker looking for friends.


----------



## Procter2812

theflyingmat actually flies!!!


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

Procter likes to pee in his pants


----------



## Procter2812

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> Procter likes to pee in his pants



Lespaulnmarshall owns the red light district!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Lespaulnmarshall still lives with his mom ! he could be a 40 year old virgin !!


----------



## j2112c

After stalking the oiled muscle men in his local gym HT, getting a good pump by this time excitedly ran to the shower room to take his 'protein shake' like a man... all in one with no gagging.


----------



## theflyingmat

j2112c plays guitar in for a Spice Girls Tribute band


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

theflyingmat said:


> j2112c plays guitar in for a Spice Girls Tribute band



theflyingmat enjoys his dad's late 60's porn colection


----------



## MartyStrat54

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> theflyingmat enjoys his dad's late 60's porn colection



Lespaulmarshall sticks more than his finger in the dyke. The dyke is 42 years old and is ugly as hell. See bangs men, because she needs the extra cash. LPM has been a steady customer ever since his Great Dane ran off.


----------



## theflyingmat

MartyStrat54 said:


> Lespaulmarshall sticks more than his finger in the dyke. The dyke is 42 years old and is ugly as hell. See bangs men, because she needs the extra cash. LPM has been a steady customer ever since his Great Dane ran off.




Sorry, but that's funny!!!

MartyStrat is a girl with hairy armpits that hang like spiders legs from her vest top.


----------



## MartyStrat54

The Flying Mat was seen flying over an all nude men's colony. He decided to make a landing. He was quickly disrobed and became the main attraction for all those who wanted some flying ass. Needless to say, the next morning he tried to take his worn out ass home, but could only find a shower mat. Therefore, he walked home...with a noticeable limp.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty Strat is the bastard child of John Merrick (the elephant man ) and Rosanne Barr !!


----------



## darrylportelli

Hot tubes thinks his tubes are hot so he sticks em up his ass...when extra pleasure is needed...he sits on them while in the amp, cranks the amp on 10 and asks his pet monkey to play bass through his amp making it shake!! talk about ass burn!!!!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

darryl was abducted by aliens. They probed all of his orifices. After two weeks they beamed him down into a Las Vegas whorehouse. They decided darryl was actually a female.


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

MartyStrat54 said:


> darryl was abducted by aliens. They probed all of his orifices. After two weeks they beamed him down into a Las Vegas whorehouse. They decided darryl was actually a female.



Marty is a 78 yr old prostitute, looking for clients on the Marshall forum


----------



## rhys_wtb

hoping this is true, lpm wishes to be the first client, and a life long loyal customer


----------



## Procter2812

rhys is looking in the yellow pages for Marty's Number! ^


----------



## rhys_wtb

and procter beat me to it 

when your done, can i have it?


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

MartyStrat54 said:


> Lespaulmarshall sticks more than his finger in the dyke. The dyke is 42 years old and is ugly as hell. See bangs men, because she needs the extra cash. LPM has been a steady customer ever since his Great Dane ran off.



Thanks for the abbreviation of my username, allways wanted one


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

LPM likes to lock crotchs and swap love gravy with Proctor !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes loves the circus and when it came to town he rushed to see the bearded lady. Later that night, he crept into her tent. A monkey was sticking his banana into her doggy style. Hot Tubes removed the monkey and proceeded to bang the bearded lady. The bearded lady turned around quickly and noticed Hot Tubes. He was frightened, so he asked, "How did you know?" The bearded lady said, "The monkey has ten-inches, you only have two!" Then, to further humiliate him, the bearded lady took his hand and put it on her crotch. Much to Hot Tubes dismay was a full throbbing eight-inch cock. Then, when he felt nothing more could happen, a midget came in sporting a foot long boner. The bearded lady, monkey and the midget all laughed and laughed until Hot Tubes put his little two-incher away. "Don't come back until you have at least eight," yelled the monkey. So much for the circus, Hot Tubes felt like a clown.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes loves the circus and when it came to town he rushed to see the bearded lady. Later that night, he crept into her tent. A monkey was sticking his banana into her doggy style. Hot Tubes removed the monkey and proceeded to bang the bearded lady. The bearded lady turned around quickly and noticed Hot Tubes. He was frightened, so he asked, "How did you know?" The bearded lady said, "The monkey has ten-inches, you only have two!" Then, to further humiliate him, the bearded lady took his hand and put it on her crotch. Much to Hot Tubes dismay was a full throbbing eight-inch cock. Then, when he felt nothing more could happen, a midget came in sporting a foot long boner. The bearded lady, monkey and the midget all laughed and laughed until Hot Tubes put his little two-incher away. "Don't come back until you have at least eight," yelled the monkey. So much for the circus, Hot Tubes felt like a clown.



LMFAO !!!


----------



## j2112c

As a child HT told his mom "when I grow up I want to be an astronaut... and blast off into space" 
To which his Mom replied:
"If your Dad had done what he was supposed to you already would have been!"


----------



## MartyStrat54

j2112c was a young boy on a gay fishing boat. He worked hard at being a good baiter. Later, he became an intermediate baiter. Those on board quickly realized his skills. Finally, the day arrived and everyone acknowledged him as a

"MASTER BAITER."

Talk about a lot of stiff rods on that boat...damn.


----------



## Procter2812

Marty seduces his twister F3... not to mention the CP tubes in it....


----------



## rhys_wtb

after his sexual antics, procter made his modded wah cry like a baby


----------



## j2112c

Rhys is a sex toy... he is the Bearded Lady's, Monkey's... Banana.


----------



## Australian

j2112c lives with the bearded lady on a farm.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

MartyStrat54 said:


> j2112c was a young boy on a gay fishing boat. He worked hard at being a good baiter. Later, he became an intermediate baiter. Those on board quickly realized his skills. Finally, the day arrived and everyone acknowledged him as a
> 
> "MASTER BAITER."
> 
> Talk about a lot of stiff rods on that boat...damn.



Marty just received an endorsement deal from Esteban guitars, Eurotubes and Groove Tubes. Twister and Line 6 jumped on the bandwagon and Marty is now touring with his two best dream rigs from the above stated companies, sporting a mixture of Groove Tubes GT6L6Cs and JJ E34Ls.


----------



## j2112c

Australian said:


> j2112c lives with the bearded lady on a farm.



Wilder saw a Bearded Lady that I was living with on my farm and took an unusual 'interest'. One night I was woken by grunting from the barn I went down, flicked on the lights to find him shafting the Bearded One.

"Sorry about your Mrs", he said zipping up and making to leave.

I said:
"No bother pal, that is no Bearded Lady.. thats my Goat! Carry on, as you were. By the way do want me to get you a beer while you are at it?"


----------



## rhys_wtb

j2112c is banana the monkeys bitch


----------



## j2112c

Ha. ha.. I wonder how far down this we can go.. er... ok.. got one..

Rhys is the Banana Monkeys, bitches, tampon...


----------



## rhys_wtb

cant see how im the tampon aswell as the monkey 

j2112c is the bin that has to deal with the used tampon


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

rhys_wtb said:


> cant see how im the tampon aswell as the monkey
> 
> j2112c is the bin that has to deal with the used tampon



rhys is a moron


----------



## rhys_wtb

LPM taught me how to be a moron


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

RHYS WTB likes little boys , and he's been asked to stay away from the school yards !!
he says its just like fucking the end of a pop bottle !!
sick bastard !!!


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

Hot tubes hates the 6100, but he loves MG's, Valvestates, and especialy Crates.


----------



## j2112c

Hot Tubes 70 based his name on Hot Lube 70 which is a love lube made of Tabasco, Lemon, Mustard and KY Petrolium Gel. YeeeeeHaaaaa! Ride her boy!


----------



## MartyStrat54

LPM was cruising Canal Street and saw a honey in the window. He asked, "How much?" She said, "30 Euros." He didn't have that sort of cash on him, but as luck would have it, two gay weight lifters saw him and thought he was out whoring himself. "How much to do your tight ass, mate?" LPM thought about it and said, "20 Euros." Both weight lifters did him right on the spot. It was painful and he was disgraced, but now he had the money for the honey...that is until he realized he was 10 Euros short. A midget with a poodle came up to him and asked, "How much?" LPM was not going to fuck himself this time, so he said, "Six Euros!" Needless to say, after all he had been through, he was still four Euros short. He took his loose, tired ass home to soak in a hot bath and to ponder about failing math in the third grade.


----------



## MartyStrat54

j2112c use the Hot Lube on his hot dog. All he has to add is relish.


----------



## Procter2812

Marty likes to do his morning stretches naked on his front lawn.


----------



## woodddj

procter has pics of naked marty doing his stretches, posted all over his bedroom walls.


----------



## j2112c

woodddj does his calf stretch in a field, this is best in the morning while the calfs mother is being milked.


----------



## MartyStrat54

WOOD was in a hot tub and he was by himself. He decided to put his pecker in the return hole. He knew it could be dangerous as he had read about this sort of thing before. He worried that he might get stuck and the firemen would have to come. Anyhow, he stuck it in and it got hard, but something wasn't right. He realized that he could swing his dick back and forth in the hole. He then realized that a three-inch dick in that big of a hole was a joke and the joke was on him.


----------



## MartyStrat54

j2112c just went out on his first date and scored some kisses and some stinky fingers. When he got back home, his mom asked him if he had fun taking his sister to the movies.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Martystrat likes to masterbate with fish gloves on !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes would go over to the junior high and sniff the girls' bicycle seats. He found one that was extra nice so he took a wrench to it and removed it. He took it home and put it in a large pot of water and added some soiled panties to the mix. No one makes a better "Bicycle Seat Stew" than Hot Tubes.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty you have reached an all time low !! your sick !! fuck !! LMAO !!!


----------



## j2112c

Eye of newt, leg of frog, an ounce of spit... this was the Witches brew Marty made in his steaming couldron before rubbing it on his member - this was his own special concoction to counter, Philippine Whore Knob Rot... 

(for those that don't know - its a little like Trench Foot but smells worse - APPARENTLY)


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

this is getting nasty !!! LOL !!!


----------



## j2112c

Sorry - no time out on this thread - Hot Tubes my friend.

Marty started a dog walking service and Hot Tubes brought his sex monkey (with banana) .... well it had four legs and a tail what was the problem?! Same thing?!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

J2112c spreads bananna flavored jam on his cob , and likes to see how fast my pet
monkey licks it off !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes was in the forest and stumbled across some naked girls skinny dipping in a small creek. He couldn't take it any longer and whipped out his tiny wiener. With a finger and a thumb he started doing his best to whip his wiener. However, since he had his pants dropped, the odor of his ass caught the attention of a 1800 pound grizzly bear. Quietly the bear stalked his prey and at the right moment, this massive bear put his giant love stick right up into Hot Tubes. He squealed in delight. However, the girls saw him and they all rushed to put their clothes on. The screaming of the girls scared off the bear. Hot Tubes lay on the ground with a big smile until the eight girls showed up and tied him naked on top of an ant den with his butt in the air. They took honey and poured it on Hot Tubes anal canal. As soon as they left him, the big grizzly came back and used the honey as lover's lube. With ants biting his nipples and scrotum and a grizzly bear raping his ass, Hot Tubes smiled and thought this was better than his vacation to the All Gay Pipe Fitters party.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes was in the forest and stumbled across some naked girls skinny dipping in a small creek. He couldn't take it any longer and whipped out his tiny wiener. With a finger and a thumb he started doing his best to whip his wiener. However, since he had his pants dropped, the odor of his ass caught the attention of a 1800 pound grizzly bear. Quietly the bear stalked his prey and at the right moment, this massive bear put his giant love stick right up into Hot Tubes. He squealed in delight. However, the girls saw him and they all rushed to put their clothes on. The screaming of the girls scared off the bear. Hot Tubes lay on the ground with a big smile until the eight girls showed up and tied him naked on top of an ant den with his butt in the air. They took honey and poured it on Hot Tubes anal canal. As soon as they left him, the big grizzly came back and used the honey as lover's lube. With ants biting his nipples and scrotum and a grizzly bear raping his ass, Hot Tubes smiled and thought this was better than his vacation to the All Gay Pipe Fitters party.



LMFAO!!  thats the best yet !!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes was in the forest and stumbled across some naked girls skinny dipping in a small creek. He couldn't take it any longer and whipped out his tiny wiener. With a finger and a thumb he started doing his best to whip his wiener. However, since he had his pants dropped, the odor of his ass caught the attention of a 1800 pound grizzly bear. Quietly the bear stalked his prey and at the right moment, this massive bear put his giant love stick right up into Hot Tubes. He squealed in delight. However, the girls saw him and they all rushed to put their clothes on. The screaming of the girls scared off the bear. Hot Tubes lay on the ground with a big smile until the eight girls showed up and tied him naked on top of an ant den with his butt in the air. They took honey and poured it on Hot Tubes anal canal. As soon as they left him, the big grizzly came back and used the honey as lover's lube. With ants biting his nipples and scrotum and a grizzly bear raping his ass, Hot Tubes smiled and thought this was better than his vacation to the All Gay Pipe Fitters party.



dude !! my wife read this and just about pist herself !!


----------



## Wilder Amplification

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> dude !! my wife read this and just about pist herself !!



HT's wife is pissed because he cheated on her with that bear...AGAIN.


----------



## MartyStrat54

A hot looking chick guitarist heard about Jon Wilder amp mods. She needed some work done fast, but she was a little low on cash. Jon said maybe something could be worked out. The chick was a little on the slow side so Jon told her, "I'll give you ten bucks to take your top off." She giggled, but complied. Jon then said, "I'll give you twenty bucks if you take your jeans off." Again she complied. Jon said, "I'll give you twenty five to drop your panties." The girl waited on that and then hesitantly pulled them down. Immediately, the room filled with a vile stench. Jon yelled, "Pull your panties up. Hurry, hurry."

The girl looked at him confidently and said, "I will after you mod my amp."

That 4 hour mod was done in under 20 minutes.


----------



## MartyStrat54

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> dude !! my wife read this and just about pist herself !!



Man I can't believe you let her read that. I hope she has your good sense of humor. It's all done in bad taste.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Man I can't believe you let her read that. I hope she has your good sense of humor. It's all done in bad taste.



no ! its all good , she was crying after she read it !! super funny !!!


----------



## StootMonster

I've created a monster.


----------



## Wilder Amplification

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> no ! its all good , she was crying after she read it !! super funny !!!



Of course she was. After all, her husband enjoyed being butt raped by a bear while trying to show off his tiny weenie to a river full of naked hot chicks.


----------



## MartyStrat54

You got yourself a good Mrs.


----------



## j2112c

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> J2112c spreads bananna flavored jam on his cob , and likes to see how fast my pet
> monkey licks it off !!!



HA ha ha..! Excellent!


----------



## j2112c

StootMonster said:


> I've created a monster.





Yup! It was well made Stoot!


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> You got yourself a good Mrs.



Where were we - oh yeah...

Marty loves dressing up for sex and using anything he can find in the fridge to spice things up - he does find however that though he is very fond of his Bobbo The Clown suit he wears for nights with his 3ft Circus Midget - his Bear Suit gets him much more ass!

...if a little too bloody hot... and difficult to clean when honey is used.


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

j2112c thinks of the bearded lady and the monkey when he has sex with a hot chick.


----------



## rhys_wtb

LPM had his cock bit off by banana the monkey

to fund for a prosthetic cock, he had to sell his beloved marshall amps

he then tested it on the bearded lady, all to no avail ( he could only afford two inches)


----------



## MartyStrat54

rhys went by a large house with a swimming pool. It was hot outside and he noticed there weren't any cars in the driveway. He pulled to the side of the road and went up and knocked on the door. Nobody answered. He then went to the swimming pool and stripped off and slipped in. After about 15 minutes he got out. He noticed a cabinet and opened it. It was a small bar and there was ice in it. He made himself an OJ and vodka. He was on his second drink when he decided to give himself an ice cube enema. He shoved about 15 ice cubes up his turd chamber and held it until they melted and he bent over and let it fly all over the side of the house. Just then, three cars pulled up in the driveway. Before he could get dressed he was discovered. It was the bearded lady with her midget and monkey. Also the strongman and the lion tamer were there. Seeing what he had done, he was disrobed and three banana's were put in his poop chute. The lion tamer got his whip out and caught him sharply on his ass cheeks. Then he said it. "Lick all of your enema poop off of the house." "I want it spotless." Crracckk, went his whip once more. Rhys started lapping as fast as he could. He put his mind in a deep mental trance and convinced himself that he was eating sweet fudge bars.

When he was finsihed, the strong man picked him up and squeezed him. The three banana's exploded out of his ass. "Eat that too, you punk!" Oh man, it looked horrible. The bearded lady laughed and gave him a spoon. "Now eat it," she demanded. He was down on all fours eating this vile concoction when to his surprise, the midget with the foot long schlong mounted him.

Before he left, everyone mounted him, including the monkey with the big banana. He left his car and took a bus, because he couldn't sit down. It took a week for his spincter to return to normal. There was a bright side. The monkey had slipped him his phone number and he was eager to give him a call.


----------



## rhys_wtb

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

man marty you are a funny one you are 

one day, marty was walking down the street, when he noticed a dollar, he went to pick it up, when it was pulled away by the string, this was their chance. out of nowhere, the jonas brothers, all lubed up, came up from behind, and took marty into their van.

unable to move, marty was quickly undressed and penetrated in all holes available. he then took a ride on what they like to call their 'disco sticks'

the mother then came from the drivers seat, and to martys surprise, it was (you guessed it) the bearded lady

after much racket and noise from the van, marty limped away, very sad indeed, being bummed by the gayest band alive

oh yeah he also got herpes :|


----------



## MartyStrat54

rhys was all by himself. He was bored because the monkey had not returned any of his calls. He was looking around in his living room when he spotted a small vacuum cleaner. He went over and dropped his pants and stuck his little stick of dynamite in the end of the hose and turned it on. Ohh...ohh my! That feels good. He started yelling louder and his neighbors all heard him. Thinking there was a robbery or assault going on, the police were called. Once the police arrived they rushed into the house. When they saw what the commotion was all about they became angry. One of the police took the hose off of his small rocket and shoved the tube up his ass. This caused a disgusting smell that was so bad, the police left. The crowd was still outside and some of the neighbors went inside. They couldn't understand why the police had left. However, the smell of gas was tremendous, so they called the fire department. The firemen arrived and came into the house. They quickly realized it was not natural gas...at least not the type that comes in a pipe. Two of the firemen were gay and they took a hose and put it in rhys ass. Wow! What a lot of pressure. They pulled the hose and shit flew like crazy. All of a sudden the monkey and the midget showed up. After a short conversation with the two gay firemen they decided it was party time. rhys was howling loud as the firemen, the midget and the monkey all took care of his spankin' clean spanky. Several on the neighbors husbands joined in as well. Fun was had by all, but man did that living room stink. Once again rhys was on all fours being rode like a horse in a race. He smiled as it reminded him a little bit about the time he spent the night in the stallion's stall.


----------



## rhys_wtb

LOLOLOLOLOL


----------



## MartyStrat54

Any other brave souls out there?


----------



## solarburn

MartyStrat54 said:


> rhys was all by himself. He was bored because the monkey had not returned any of his calls. He was looking around in his living room when he spotted a small vacuum cleaner. He went over and dropped his pants and stuck his little stick of dynamite in the end of the hose and turned it on. Ohh...ohh my! That feels good. He started yelling louder and his neighbors all heard him. Thinking there was a robbery or assault going on, the police were called. Once the police arrived they rushed into the house. When they saw what the commotion was all about they became angry. One of the police took the hose off of his small rocket and shoved the tube up his ass. This caused a disgusting smell that was so bad, the police left. The crowd was still outside and some of the neighbors went inside. They couldn't understand why the police had left. However, the smell of gas was tremendous, so they called the fire department. The firemen arrived and came into the house. They quickly realized it was not natural gas...at least not the type that comes in a pipe. Two of the firemen were gay and they took a hose and put it in rhys ass. Wow! What a lot of pressure. They pulled the hose and shit flew like crazy. All of a sudden the monkey and the midget showed up. After a short conversation with the two gay firemen they decided it was party time. rhys was howling loud as the firemen, the midget and the monkey all took care of his spankin' clean spanky. Several on the neighbors husbands joined in as well. Fun was had by all, but man did that living room stink. Once again rhys was on all fours being rode like a horse in a race. He smiled as it reminded him a little bit about the time he spent the night in the stallion's stall.




:eek2:


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Everytime Soloarburn farts it smells like vaseline and MartyStrats cologne !!


----------



## Australian

I was walking past John Wilders workshop the other night when I heard screaming. I looked in the window and to my surprise I saw Hot Tubes and the bearded lady with nipple clamps on, connected to the caps of one of Wilders souped up Marshalls.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Australian has given up on bearded ladies and has gone back to Wallabies !!!


----------



## Australian

Wallabies where? ......Did someone say wallabies?


----------



## theflyingmat

Australian said:


> Wallabies where? ......Did someone say wallabies?




Australian is really from New Zealand and likes eating lamb. Sometimes he even like to cook the stuff.


----------



## MartyStrat54

The Flying Mat is from Peternapper, Scotland and that is why a lot of the men are missing their dicks.


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

MartyStrat54 said:


> The Flying Mat is from Peternapper, Scotland and that is why a lot of the men are missing their dicks.



Once upon a time, Marty saw a hot chick, so he asked to fuck her, she said yes, and asked how big his penis was, Marty said hes penis was 2 inches, the girl said she didn't care. Later in Marty's bedroom the girl undressed, and marty saw she had a HUGE PENIS, so Marty was jealous. Marty asked the girls name before fucking her, she was called Dick. Marty was in shock, and the girl knocked him out, she fucked him in his ass! Marty woke up with a courgette in his ass, the girl fucked him in his ass, 3 times and then she put the courgette in it, painfull. After a few minutes, the girl came back in Marty's bedroom and she brought 18 midgets with her. The midgets had 12 inch dicks and fucked Marty in his ass again. Marty realy had a painfull ass, and asked the girl why she did all that, the girl said she was bored. Marty ran out of his house naked, and a gay cop arrested him and marty told the story, the cops came to his house, and found a cute little puppy inside of the house. The next day marty woke up, and thought about what happened, then he knew it, he was drunk yesterday and the girl was not a girl but a cute little puppy with his bone in his mouth and the midgets were 18 gays with huge cocks. Poor Marty....


----------



## MartyStrat54

LPM was getting overweight so he found an ad in the paper that guaranteed fast weight lose. He went downtown to their office. He told them he would like to loose 40 pounds. After the paperwork was signed, LPM was taken down the hall to a special room. It was a round room with doors. All of a sudden a beautiful naked blond appears and says, "If you can catch me, you can have me." LPM went running after her. Around and around they went, but he couldn't catch her. He bent forward on his knees and she went in behind a door. A scale appeared and he stepped on it. Hmm, He had lost ten pounds. After resting a bit, another door opened. A stunning brunette with perfect tits appeared. She said, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Once again with all of his might, he chased the girl and those perfect tits. Huffing and puffing he came to a stop. A door opened and the girl was gone. The scale appeared again. He stepped on it and had lost another ten pounds. Getting rested again, he smiled and wondered what sort of beautiful girl they would throw at him this time. The lights in the room dimmed somewhat. A door opened. Out from the dark came a hideous, ugly bitch with a ten-inch strap on dildoe. She had very strong looking legs, like that of a long distance runner. She looked at LPM and said, "If I catch you, I fuck you. She started running at him and LPM took off with his life. Around and around he ran with the scab right behind him. Finally, he thought he was going to have a heart attack and he had to stop. He bent over and felt a massive object enter him from behind. He started to cry from the pain. All of a sudden he looked up and the scab was in front of him laughing. In shock, he turned to look over his shoulder only to see the midget with the foot long dick pounding him. When the midget was done the scab and the midget disappeared behind a door. The scale appeared and he had lost an additional 22 pounds. Now that it was all over, hey, it wasn't half bad. He lost his weight and got to chase some cute girls. So what if a midget had fucked him. "That was a small price to pay."


----------



## theflyingmat

LPM tells everyone he is fom Amsterdam coz he thinks it's a lot cooler than telling the truth....that he really comes from the hell hole known as Denhelder


----------



## MartyStrat54

The Flying Mat was going over a forest. All of a sudden he saw what appeared to be a party of people dressed as animals having massive sex with one another. The Flying Mat landed and hid behind a tree. He watched and couldn't believe his eyes. Two of the "animals" had extremely large ramrods. One was a rabbit and the other a "bear."

Suddenly, he was attacked by a "lion" and a "monkey." The others came to help. 

"So, you thought you could spy on us," said the rabbit. "Mister Bear, do your thing." They had tied The Flying Mat naked to a tree. He was completely accessible. The "bear" came up and stroked him and it made his eyeballs go in and out. When the "bear" was done, the rabbit banged him hard and long. Then the other "animals" all did weird things to him with a variety of sex toys.

Someone nearby got on a cell phone. He was calling up the circus people. They were coming as well and would be there in 30 minutes. To kill some time, the "animals" let the real 1800 pound grizzly bear tear into The Flying Mat. After the real bear was done, the circus people had arrived. The bearded lady, the monkey, the midget, the Strongman and the Lion Tamer.

Four more hours went by with The Flying Mat taking in all sorts of knobs. It started to become daylight. Everyone was leaving. The party was over. The Flying Mat was cut loose and fell to the ground. He lay there in tremendous pain...his mind full of horrific thoughts. As he gathered himself to leave, the real bear came back for thirds. 

"Oh well, looks like I won't be having any breakfast after all."


----------



## StootMonster

Marty is not obsessed with sex.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

beyond sick !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

The Stoot Monster and Hot Tubes were walking in the "adult" area of town. They came to some stairs that went downstairs. They heard laughter and the sound of bottles. Going down the stairs, they came into a room. There they saw at least fifteen nuns playing bingo. The nuns were drinking apple cider and orange juice. The nuns invited the Stoot Monster and Hot Tubes to sit down and play bingo. Four hour later, they were still there. They finally got up and left. They were too mentally exhausted to do anything else. 

That's what happens when there isn't any wild sex involved. It's just a plain, boring story.

Yes I'm sick, but there sure are a lot of sicker people who read my stuff. I actually was hoping it would put an end to this thread. After all, when I am writing about you, it can get downright nasty. How often do you want it to happen? And take a look at what people posted before I started my mini series. I'm not the only nasty ass out there. I'm just a gifted writer doing my thing.


----------



## Australian

MartyStrat54 said:


> The Stoot Monster and Hot Tubes were walking in the "adult" area of town. They came to some stairs that went downstairs. They heard laughter and the sound of bottles. Going down the stairs, they came into a room. There they saw at least fifteen nuns playing bingo. The nuns were drinking apple cider and orange juice. The nuns invited the Stoot Monster and Hot Tubes to sit down and play bingo. Four hour later, they were still there. They finally got up and left. They were too mentally exhausted to do anything else.
> 
> That's what happens when there isn't any wild sex involved. It's just a plain, boring story.
> 
> Yes I'm sick, but there sure are a lot of sicker people who read my stuff. I actually was hoping it would put an end to this thread. After all, when I am writing about you, it can get downright nasty. How often do you want it to happen. And take a look at what people posted before I started my mini series. I'm not the only nasty ass out there. I'm just a gifted writer doing my thing.



The Bearded Lady and now the Stoot Monster.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> The Stoot Monster and Hot Tubes were walking in the "adult" area of town. They came to some stairs that went downstairs. They heard laughter and the sound of bottles. Going down the stairs, they came into a room. There they saw at least fifteen nuns playing bingo. The nuns were drinking apple cider and orange juice. The nuns invited the Stoot Monster and Hot Tubes to sit down and play bingo. Four hour later, they were still there. They finally got up and left. They were too mentally exhausted to do anything else.
> 
> That's what happens when there isn't any wild sex involved. It's just a plain, boring story.
> 
> Yes I'm sick, but there sure are a lot of sicker people who read my stuff. I actually was hoping it would put an end to this thread. After all, when I am writing about you, it can get downright nasty. How often do you want it to happen. And take a look at what people posted before I started my mini series. I'm not the only nasty ass out there. I'm just a gifted writer doing my thing.




Please don't let me stop you !! I'm not complaining at all !! this shit makes laugh out of control at times !! its all good Stratman !!!! its all goooood !!!!


----------



## kebek

hot tubes 70 is selling is 6100 for an mg 100 today... he want's a new wilder sound... he always stated that transistors amp is the way to go...


----------



## MartyStrat54

kebek really did burn all of his Fenders in a drunken rage. Burned his house down too. He's going to start playing Gibson's right after he gets out of jail.


----------



## Procter2812

Marty likes a cup of tea in the morning. So teabags his woman.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Proctor had his sack shaved for the clean close feeling , He says its all about the
pendulum motion that his balls make against my pet monkeys lips !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes found a small boat and got into it and paddled his way out into the lake. No one was around and he started feeling a little randy. He dropped his pants and started whacking over the edge of the boat. All of a sudden, a giant 30 pound sucker carp jumped out of the water and "hit" his wanker thinking it was bait. Hot Tubes got knocked back into the middle of the boat with the 30 pound sucker giving him the blow job of a life time. Finally he drained in the fish. 

It was then that Hot Tubes realized that the fish had died and was stuck on his flaccid knob. Tubes became even more terrified when he discovered that falling in the boat had caused a leak and the boat was taking on water. He did what needed to be done. He paddled with all of his might back to shore. The beach was no longer deserted. In fact, a young girl yelled, "Here's our boat, daddy." Hot Tubes couldn't believe what was happening.

A man came up and said, "That's my boat. Why did you take it?" Hot Tubes had to come up with something fast. "I wanted to see if she was seaworthy," he replied. "Trouble is, she has a leak." The owner stepped to take a closer look. "My God, did you go fishing?" "That's a big fish." The little girl said, "Mommy, mommy come look at the fish...it's biting the man."

Hot Tubes gets up with this 30 pound sucker swinging on his wanker. He looks everybody square in the eye and says, "I have a bladder control problem. This is a custom made urine bag." Everyone was in shock, including some other people near the boat. Hot Tubes slipped the fish down one pant leg and pulled his pants up and tucked his shirt in. 

As he walked away with a dozen people looking, he thought to himself, "Yeah, I'm gonna have fish tonight that's for sure."


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Hey Marty !! did you ever get off those Rape charges ??


----------



## darrylportelli

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes found a small boat and got into it and paddled his way out into the lake. No one was around and he started feeling a little randy. He dropped his pants and started whacking over the edge of the boat. All of a sudden, a giant 30 pound sucker carp jumped out of the water and "hit" his wanker thinking it was bait. Hot Tubes got knocked back into the middle of the boat with the 30 pound sucker giving him the blow job of a life time. Finally he drained in the fish.
> 
> It was then that Hot Tubes realized that the fish had died and was stuck on his flaccid knob. Tubes became even more terrified when he discovered that falling in the boat had caused a leak and the boat was taking on water. He did what needed to be done. He paddled with all of his might back to shore. The beach was no longer deserted. In fact, a young girl yelled, "Here's our boat, daddy." Hot Tubes couldn't believe what was happening.
> 
> A man came up and said, "That's my boat. Why did you take it?" Hot Tubes had to come up with something fast. "I wanted to see if she was seaworthy," he replied. "Trouble is, she has a leak." The owner stepped to take a closer look. "My God, did you go fishing?" "That's a big fish." The little girl said, "Mommy, mommy come look at the fish...it's biting the man."
> 
> Hot Tubes gets up with this 30 pound sucker swinging on his wanker. He looks everybody square in the eye and says, "I have a bladder control problem. This is a custom made urine bag." Everyone was in shock, including some other people near the boat. Hot Tubes slipped the fish down one pant leg and pulled his pants up and tucked his shirt in.
> 
> As he walked away with a dozen people looking, he thought to himself, "Yeah, I'm gonna have fish tonight that's for sure."



LOOOOOLLOLOOLOOOL If your guitar creativity was as huge as your imagination you would be the biggest rockstar that ever lived looool


----------



## Australian

DarylPortelli has been known to use a pastizzi as a plectrum.


----------



## j2112c

Australian got fired from the farmsted because he mistook the meaning of sheep dipping...!
I just don't know how though... he was told to take all 300 sheep in the flock and dip them - so he did - busy boy.


----------



## MartyStrat54

John C was a master at shaving a sheep's ass and teaching it to walk backwards. All the sheep herders brought him sheep. For an extra fee, he would teach the sheep to unzip a pair of pants and slip their back feet down the ranchers boots.

He's now had the same request for chickens.


----------



## j2112c

Marty's favourite night in is a bottle of chianti, olives, baby oil and a sheep rug in front of the fire!:eek2::eek2:


----------



## MartyStrat54

John C gets bored easily and spends most of the day stretching gnat's asses over rain barrels.


----------



## j2112c

In moments of boredom my mate Marty calls up the kinkysex4ewe sheep sex line.

He claims he only called it because he misunderstood and thought it was a cheap sex line not a sheep sex line - Yup... I believe him!


----------



## MartyStrat54

John C lives in a house with no doors or windows. All the barn animals sleep with him in his bed, even the donkey. Each and everyone of them has a nicely shaven ass and great bedside manners, except for the nanny goat...she gets headaches all of the time.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> John C lives in a house with no doors or windows.



Bloody hell that is not far from the truth! Renovations - a 6 month project that became a 6 year lifestyle! Doh


Marty thought fish fingers were laid like eggs in a battery farm near New Jersey by old... 

...wait for it... 

...wait for it... 

...wait for it.... Bearded Ladies.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

How does J212C find sheep in tall grass ?? very satisfiying !!!!


----------



## j2112c

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> How does J212C find sheep in tall grass ?? very satisfiying !!!!



ha ha... I live in Wales I have sheep jokes to last until Led Zep reform (again)


Got Lubes wakes up stiff in the morning... and I mean not like he used to as a young man!!
Age.. a sad state.. at least his sex monkey is young. 
HT's Sex Monkey is always ready for banana even at first light!


----------



## MartyStrat54

John C's car broke down on a bad stretch of country road. After walking two miles without any cars going by, he spied a house on a distant hill. "I'll go there for help," John decided. The trip through the pasture was not a good one as he slipped and fell several times on fresh green cow patties. Now his clothes had shit all over them and he stunk and was attracting flies.

He gets to the house and it doesn't look good. Now that he was up close the place looked deserted. All of a sudden he was startled when he heard a woman's voice. "How can I help you?" Spinning around, John apologized for smelling like shit and he explained what had happened. John was trying to control himself. The girl was as hot as Daisy Duke and she had short shorts on and a tight fitting top. He was thirsty and he asked the girl for some water. She came back and he quickly drank it. 

Suddenly he felt weak and disoriented. He fell to the floor. When he came to, he was tied outside over a 55 gallon barrel. He was completely naked. He looked and saw a line forming behind him. The good looking chick was shouting, "We are about ready to start. We are waiting on the 1800 pound Grizzly bear and the Lion Tamer. Their car is acting up, so they are catching a ride with some new members, Hot Tubes and The Flying Mat. These are our newest members and they both passed all of the "entrance" exams." John looked over his shoulder and couldn't believe it. First in line was the midget with the foot long boner and behind him the monkey with the big banana. Of course the Bearded Lady was there and she brought two more bearded ladies along from other circuses. One of them had the nickname, "PIPE."

15 minutes went by and everyone was there. Hot Tubes and The Flying Mat got to go first, then the midget and the monkey. There were 38 participants and John was getting drilled for oil. Then it hit him. That's what happened to his car. He forgot to put oil in it. He smiled now that he had figured out what he had done wrong.

The cute girl shouted, "Number 14, we are ready for number 14."

John didn't care, his mind was at ease now. He had solved his automotive problem. He may be limping a bit tomorrow, but he could get started on repairing his car. One thing for sure. He shouldn't have any problem "bending over."


----------



## j2112c

Marty offered to check my oil...

I was right not to take him up on the offer of checking my oil... 

I thought something was awry...

....I think it was when he licked his lips and offered to lube my trunnions and wipe my dipstick!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Have you noticed that no one else wants to give this thread a go? Do you thing the midget has something to do with it?


----------



## rjohns1

You guys are not right. ha, good story Marty. oh, and Marty got sloppy 39ths.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> Have you noticed that no one else wants to give this thread a go? Do you thing the midget has something to do with it?



Ha ha ha... I wonder why...? It is a lovely thread... 

Actually I think it is Hot Tubes Banana Lovin' Sex Monkey that bends the head the most - so to speak...er where we.. oh yeah...


rjohns1 opened a garage and offered to fix my oil leak...

He pulled out a banana from his overalls called out back:
"Where is my Grease Monkey... I have a job for him!!"

A banana, grease, monkey... it was too much for me... I could not watch.. I just simply had to walk away... and collect the car another time.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

j2112c has got some Venereal disease i can't even pronounce !! 
word of caution , never throw tooth picks into the toilet , crabs
can pole vault !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes caught the crabs off of the damn farmers sheep...Shelly. (Yes, Hot Tubes had named her.) He was itching really bad. He then remembered his father's method of getting rid of them. He shaved half of his balls and pubic patch. Then, he set fire to the rest of his pubic patch. As the crabs ran away from the fire, Hot Tubes stuck them with an ice pick. Then, knowing there were a few survivors, he did one final trick. Every night he would take a shower and leave his old underware by his fresh underware. The crabs would run over to the fresh underware. Finally, after five days Hot Tubes took his usual shower. The crabs all ran over to his fresh pair. After toweling off, he reached over and quickly put his "old" pair on and flushed the new pair down the toilet. He could hear tiny screams as the underware twirled around and around before finally going down.

Them stinking crabs weren't gonna outsmart Tubes...no way.
:cool2:


----------



## j2112c

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> j2112c has got some Venereal disease i can't even pronounce !!
> word of caution , never throw tooth picks into the toilet , crabs
> can pole vault !!



Excellent!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes caught the crabs off of the damn farmers sheep...Shelly. (Yes, Hot Tubes had named her.) He was itching really bad. He then remembered his father's method of getting rid of them. He shaved half of his balls and pubic patch. Then, he set fire to the rest of his pubic patch. As the crabs ran away from the fire, Hot Tubes stuck them with an ice pick. Then, knowing there were a few survivors, he did one final trick. Every night he would take a shower and leave his old underware by his fresh underware. The crabs would run over to the fresh underware. Finally, after five days Hot Tubes took his usual shower. The crabs all ran over to his fresh pair. After toweling off, he reached over and quickly put his "old" pair on and flushed the new pair down the toilet. He could hear tiny screams as the underware twirled around and around before finally going down.
> 
> Them stinking crabs weren't gonna outsmart Tubes...no way.
> :cool2:



LMFAO !!!


----------



## j2112c

Hot Tubes bought the latest lottery craze - The Scratch & Sniff lottery card.

First prize was the scent of Kylies crotch, second was the scent of Beer, third was the scent of a Ducati Exhaust.

Unfortunately he did not win and got the scent of wool shaved off a sheeps arse complete with dung smearing!

It took half an hour to persuade him he had not won, to put the ticket in the bin, stop sniffing and wash his hands!


There is no accounting for taste.


----------



## MartyStrat54

j2112c said:


> Hot Tubes bought the latest lottery craze - The Scratch & Sniff lottery card.
> 
> First prize was the scent of Kylies crotch, second was the scent of Beer, third was the scent of a Ducati Exhaust.
> 
> Unfortunately he did not win and got the scent of wool shaved off a sheeps arse complete with dung smearing!
> 
> It took half an hour to persuade him he had not won, to put the ticket in the bin, stop sniffing and wash his hands!
> 
> 
> There is no accounting for taste.



HA-HA-HA-HA-HA***LMFAO***HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
Now that's funny "shit" right there.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

YUK it up !!! funny bastards !!!!( it even had me loosin it !!!)


----------



## Australian

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes caught the crabs off of the damn farmers sheep...Shelly.



 @ Shelly.


----------



## Procter2812

Australian said:


> @ Shelly.



Austrailian is actually Brazillian... and likes a good Brazillian too


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

This tread has kinda slowed up i see !! ya all run out of shit to say or what ??


----------



## MartyStrat54

After spending an entire week with the monkey, I'm exhausted. However, I would appreciate it Hot Tubes if you could give me some tips on how to pick up sheep.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

I won't be very helpful to you on the sheep thing but i can give you tips on how to pick up your Mom !!


----------



## darrylportelli

hot tubes touched the caps in his amp and got zapped. after a while he noticed he had a boner...he then took his amp to a tech and modded it to have the caps on the outside of the head cabinet so that he could have an instant hard on machine!!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

darryl was making too many babies. He didn't like condoms. Finally, he decided that a vasectomy was in order. He called around for prices and went with a doctor on the "lower end." The procedure was to be done in the office. darryl was stripped and prepped by the doctor. The procedure began. The doctor made the first incision and then, as he was making the second one, he sneezed. darryl's left testicle fell to the floor. The doctor was in a panic. As he stepped forward to pick it up, his shoe stepped on it and crushed it. Now he was desperate. He looked all about and then went to a small refrigerator. Inside he found a salad onion about as round as a quarter. He took it and inserted the onion in darryl's ball sack. He finished the procedure. 30 minutes later, darryl was up on his feet and wobbled out of the doctor's office. The doctor was very concerned about the ordeal.

About two weeks later, darryl comes to see the doctor on his follow up. The doctor asks if everything is okay? 

Darryl says, "Well I guess so." "I've never had this done before, but when I come it smells like onions and I get a hard on every time I pass a McDonald's."


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> darryl was making too many babies. He didn't like condoms. Finally, he decided that a vasectomy was in order. He called around for prices and went with a doctor on the "lower end." The procedure was to be done in the office. darryl was stripped and prepped by the doctor. The procedure began. The doctor made the first incision and then, as he was making the second one, he sneezed. darryl's left testicle fell to the floor. The doctor was in a panic. As he stepped forward to pick it up, his shoe stepped on it and crushed it. Now he was desperate. He looked all about and then went to a small refrigerator. Inside he found a salad onion about as round as a quarter. He took it and inserted the onion in darryl's ball sack. He finished the procedure. 30 minutes later, darryl was up on his feet and wobbled out of the doctor's office. The doctor was very concerned about the ordeal.
> 
> About two weeks later, darryl comes to see the doctor on his follow up. The doctor asks if everything is okay?
> 
> Darryl says, "Well I guess so." "I've never had this done before, but when I come it smells like onions and I get a hard on every time I pass a McDonald's."



F@*kin' Cracker!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> darryl was making too many babies. He didn't like condoms. Finally, he decided that a vasectomy was in order. He called around for prices and went with a doctor on the "lower end." The procedure was to be done in the office. darryl was stripped and prepped by the doctor. The procedure began. The doctor made the first incision and then, as he was making the second one, he sneezed. darryl's left testicle fell to the floor. The doctor was in a panic. As he stepped forward to pick it up, his shoe stepped on it and crushed it. Now he was desperate. He looked all about and then went to a small refrigerator. Inside he found a salad onion about as round as a quarter. He took it and inserted the onion in darryl's ball sack. He finished the procedure. 30 minutes later, darryl was up on his feet and wobbled out of the doctor's office. The doctor was very concerned about the ordeal.
> 
> About two weeks later, darryl comes to see the doctor on his follow up. The doctor asks if everything is okay?
> 
> Darryl says, "Well I guess so." "I've never had this done before, but when I come it smells like onions and I get a hard on every time I pass a McDonald's."



I think i near pist myself .....LMFAO !!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty you have a great gift with the story telling , i just hope you don't tell bed time 
storys to children .....that could go wrong in a way ! LOL !!!


----------



## cudamax2343

Me and hottubes got together last night and I talked him into putting up 500 dollars towards my 500 dollars for a huge pile of Blow and I got my regular 2 friday night favorate hookers and we headed out to a hotel rm and as soon as we got there just after the first round of hits hottube begain Geeking real bad and was constanly searching the floor ( for what we still don't know) and after about 15 minutes of this shit he workrd his way to the closet and wouldn't come out. 
Myself and the hookers had a real blast and I got them to do some real freaky shit then when our pile was gone at about checkout time the next morning we all had to leave but hottubes still wouldn't come out of the closet. So we left him there and I'm not giving him his money back


----------



## j2112c

What a great night HT and Cudamax had... 

First HT spent the first fifteen minutes searching the floor and under the bed for his sex monkey. Everyone thought he was geeking out and did not know what he was doing  
He did not need the hookers, but he needed the love.... he eventually found the sex monkey in the closet snortin' blow and spent the night rocking out with the big banana.:cool2:



As for Cuda... well....

One fun thing he did with the hookers was to put a line of coke in the crack of their arses and muffs, he then snorted down the valley like a hog making pig squealing noises Burt Reynolds would kill for. 

...he woke in the morning and to his horror he found the regular gorgeous hookers were in fact old ladies from the bridge club  who went for a night in town and who got lucky with two 'young bucks' off their faces on drugs.... 

.... and the coke he snorted from their cracks was actually lavender talcum powder!


Four days later... Cuda can still smell lavender 'from the woods'.


----------



## MartyStrat54

That explains everything. The monkey was in the closet and 'cuda was knocking the old ladies like the police on my front door with a warrant.

That my friend is fucking hilarious. Well played.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> That explains everything. The monkey was in the closet and 'cuda was knocking the old ladies like the police on my front door with a warrant.
> 
> That my friend is fucking hilarious. Well played.



Many thanks Marty.

You know, I think we are all getting the hang of this thread... at 385 posts, I think through practice (and a few nice characters - Hot Tubes Sex Monkey [who we all share], Well Hung Midgets, Bearded Ladies & Shelly the Sheep) we are all getting a lot better. 

There have been 6-7 cracking posts in the past 3 pages... 
I have a feeling... onions will reappear in the future - (don't they always on a Saturday night)!


----------



## cudamax2343

Always wondered why I just love Lavender just soo damn much.
Bridge club's & the bingo hall's are the hot ticket Really dude. You ani't noth-in til one of them pulls out their Dentures and Gums-ya and then they pay.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Cudamax was bored one day and decided to write a sex instruction book . 

STEP 1 - Push penis in .
STEP 2 - Pull penis out .
STEP 3 - Repeat steps 1 & 2 if necessary !

contributing editors - Marty Strat , J2112c , Proctor


----------



## j2112c

Contributing Editors Note: 
Step 2 Pull Penis Out is Mandatory! You can't just be a troll and hang around. It is bad manners.

Second note: This is my favourite icon!:


----------



## cudamax2343

Hot tubes-Marty Strat-J2112c and Proctor all came out to my neck of the woods last weekend to see how cuda gets down and I took them all to see a Areosmith concert. By the time we all got to our seats right up front we were all lit-up and by the time we sat down they announced that Areosmith wasn't able to make it there that night and asked the crowd it anyone want to jam out and take their place.
Being the guitar gods we are we took the stage and jammed out for an hour and everyone loved us. So much that we had an Instant Groupie following of all horny half naked big busted blonde and redheaded stoned babes that just couldn't wait to join the back stage party and do us and all of Areosmiths drugs all day and night until we got sick of them and thru them to the stage help and went home.


----------



## theflyingmat

Cuda was not there at all, for it was I who played the hot leads that night....


PS. Can't believe this is still going!!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

After the screwed up Aerosmith concert, the Flying Mat was exhausted. Man, he played non-stop shredding leads that knocked the crowd out. They were shouting, "Flying Gnat," "Flying Gnat." (Just a minor issue mind you.) Anyways, the Mat had made the huge crowd forget about the missing Aerosmith boys. 

As the crowd chanted louder and louder, the Mat smashed his guitar into his only amp and half stack (he would later regret this). Then the crowd yelled, "Jump," "Jump!" Mat was overcome with adrenaline and ran towards the crowd. Marty, who had to play rhythm guitar all night due to the Mat's excessive shredding yelled at the Mat to stop, but the Mat jumped into the crowd. As he landed, someone started shagging his pants off. Within seconds he was naked. It just so happened that he had jumped in the area occupied by the Union of Circus Employee's. He was forced on the floor and an apple was pushed in his mouth. He thought he saw the monkey with the great big dick. The one who had banged him before in the woods with the Grizzly bear. The next thing he knew the Strongman had put him in a horse collar wrestling hold. 

Suddenly a pain, a horrible pain, blasted into his most secret orifice. He managed to turn his head just enough to see that it was the monkey. The monkey with a huge cock was doing him. He also noticed a line forming that was well over 15 persons in number.

By the time the 400 pound transvestite had him, you could fit a bowling ball in his ass. There were still around twenty circus employees waiting in line. Things were on the scummy side if you know what I mean. A small pond had formed under the Flying Mat and it sure wasn't water. Yuck!

Then the Mat got some relief. The Strongman released his wrestling hold. The Mat was so weak he collapsed in the spooge puddle. However, he was picked up and put back into the wrestling hold. The Mat noticed it was a different man. He asked, "What is going on?" The guy answered, "The Strongman is going to bone you now." "As soon as he's done, there are 30 in my party that will have you." The Mat's heart sank and he could barely speak, "What is your party?" The guy answered, "Oh, we're the Brotherhood of Gay Firefighters." "We came to see Aerosmith, but they fucked us, so now we are going to fuck you.? Mat replied, "I...I, shredded for you for over an hour and a half...and you do this to me?" The gay guy said, "You mean that tired old pentatonic scale that a schoolboy could play...ha-ha-ha." "Here comes Big Willy, he'll show you some shredding.

Four o'clock in the morning, the cleaning crews were sweeping the floors. All of a sudden one of the cleaning crew yelled, "Quick, over here." To their surprise, under two feet of urine filled cups and spit tobacco was a naked man. One of the crew members said, "Should we get him some help?" An older guy said, "Let's fuck him first and then we'll call."

:eek2::eek2::eek2::eek2:


----------



## MartyStrat54

theflyingmat said:


> Cuda was not there at all, for it was I who played the hot leads that night....
> 
> 
> PS. Can't believe this is still going!!!!



WELCOME BACK...THE MONKEY MISSED YOU SWEETIE.


----------



## BluesRocker

Oh my lord.. that had to be the funniest thing I have ever read.. I forgot about this thread..


----------



## MartyStrat54

I hate to call it a "talent," but it is something I do well.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

You should be a columnist and write funny shit etc , you'd do alot better job that
most of the guys out there ......super funny man !! Love it !!


----------



## cudamax2343

Damn Marty not even this crazy old greek can top that one


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well if there is one thing we have learned, stay away from circus people, especially bearded ladies who have a well hung monkey as a sidekick.


----------



## BluesRocker

Yup. Marty that quote just made itself to my sig. thanks... haha


----------



## j2112c

BluesRocker said:


> Yup. Marty that quote just made itself to my sig. thanks... haha



Excellent! That should get people wondering how on earth that came up in a thread. 
It is a very good thread, isn't it? I think it is actually getting better as the posts go by.


Blues Rocker loves his wifes pussy...

he nuzzles it... licks it...  fingers it...
thrashes it...  cums in it... 
shares it with a Sex Monkey...

and when exhausted... 


....he will move onto his wife!


MeeeooooW! Love your cat... Not LoVe your CaT!
Animal Cruelty... Let's Consign It To History!


----------



## midgo

Holy crap!! ive been away from this thread waaaayyyy too long!! You guys have been really cranking out some far out stuff, and i haven't even read it all! John you are a deviant ha ha!! 

And Marty, well you get a special mention, for being the most perverted, twisted, imaginatively sick MF on here!! I love it!! Kudos to you!! 

Im too rattled and exhausted from laughter to even make up anything here and even if i did, i don't think even my warped little brain could come close to conjuring anywhere near, some of the stuff on here! ha ha!! 
Good work lads!!


----------



## j2112c

Hey Mike, nice to have you over in this corner of the forum and so kind to offer yourself up as fresh blood to the thread - it needs feeding constantly. 

Midgo is soooo tight with his money that he tells his son that the Ice Cream Van plays its tune to let everyone know IT IS EMPTY!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Yep !! this where all the sick fucks hang out !! and Martys the pack leader !!! LOL !!!
Oh , by the way J2112c , your fly's still open .....better teach MIDGO to finish what he started !!!


----------



## Adwex

Marty, what deranged, over-stimulated part of your brain does this genius come from?


----------



## Adwex

It's all getting a little raunchy though, can we go a little more PG-13?
We don't want to scare away the new ladies that have shown up here recently.


----------



## MartyStrat54

True, the thought did pass my mind and even rocker chicks have a limit on what is acceptable. 

I don't know guys. This thread was like a boulder rolling down a hill. At first, the post were simple and funny, but then as it picked up speed, it became really off the hook.

Can we still have fun with PG-13 posts? Or did we spoil ourselves with too much of too much?


----------



## j2112c

The Sex Monkey.
The Bearded Lady.
Well Hung Midget.
Shelly the Sheep.
Capacitor Erections.
Gay Gang Bangs.
Blow From Oldies Cracks.
AND an Ice Cream Van!

I simply do not understand what the problem is here. This sounds like a perfectly normal night out in my small town in Wales...!


More seriously though, it could be toned down a bit, but fit for a 13 year hmmm not sure..... that said 13 year olds are pregnant and stabbing eachother around these parts so yes it may be possible!

I think initially posters were wary of offending each other, but soon it was recognised there were others just as warped and they were not going to take any offence to anything, but would even enjoy the banter no matter how sick and not take anything personally.
Nice... but perhaps not so nice for a casual observer just dropping into the thread afresh. Agreed Adwex.


At the end of the day Adwex is the Boss and there has to be some control over the threads.

I will miss Hot Tubes Sex Monkey though...
HT... Can I hire him from you for one more banana jam cob licking session you suggested for me! ha ha ha.


----------



## midgo

Damn!! looks like i missed the smut bus!!

Oh well. John your so tight with your money, you go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers!!


----------



## j2112c

midgo said:


> Damn!! looks like i missed the smut bus!!
> 
> Oh well. John your so tight with your money, you go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers!!



Ha ha...

I was going to reply with a post that went - Midgo / being poor / prostitutes / licking other peoples fingers...

.... but I am 'staying clean!' In the spirit of the new improved clean thread!


Ok I cannot help myself... a mild one...Midgos wife bought him an traditional Australian sex toy for nights when she was not back from work and he was on his own - Sheepskin Mits....!! oooh


----------



## midgo

Ha ha!! Don't need the mits Johnno, got a sheep tied up in the backyard, for those special midgo happy special time moments!! 

I'd let you borrow it, but i haven't vaccinated it for that nasty strand of welsh herpe, pustule, perineum syphillis getting around!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

I now know what the problem is...I'm from the wrong country. You blokes have a wonderfully sick sense of humor.

Shelly, you are always on my mind...you are always on my mind.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Ok !! are we keepin it clean from now on ....or what !! ya sick bastards !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

I'm in the bath as we speak. Me and the monkey that is. We are getting "squeaky" clean. Why don't you join us Hot Tubes?


----------



## MartyStrat54

Now that's what I call a tobacco pouch!


----------



## cudamax2343

Yea and look at that "Neck Pocket" on the Green BC Rich


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Well if there is one thing we have learned, stay away from circus people, especially bearded ladies who have a well hung monkey as a sidekick.








 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

Hot Cheeks 80... ohhhh wow... that is really something.... OXYGEN! OXYGEN!... Somebody give me OXYGEN!
Gasp!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Later, after the OXYGEN, j2112c was feeling quite randy and was ready to get into some serious shagging with his sweet little one:






 TWIN


----------



## racko7566

Heres TWIN after he finds out its his sister that 2112 is getting freaky with.


----------



## racko7566

Hers 2112 10 minutes later.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Good one's Racko. You should have been over here when the bearded lady was calling the shots (and taking a few too).


----------



## TwinACStacks

Being the adrenaline junkie that he is RACKO, now feeling quite up for anything after watching Twin shoot 2112 over that sister thang, finally gets up the nerve to ask his old Lady if she will shave her Beaver for him:






 TWIN


----------



## 7daysofhell

TwinACStacks after a visit to a Hypnotist show still does the 100 meter hurdles whenever the telephone rings...


----------



## MartyStrat54

7daysofhell lay in a hospital bed. All he knew is that he was suffering from amnesia. Finally, the hospital released his picture on the news asking if anyone knew him. People poured in off of the street. After it was all said and done, it was discovered that he had nine wives, 27 children, six gay lovers, the address of the bearded lady and Shelly, the sheep.

He yelled out, "Make it all go away." "Make it all go away." 7daysofhell then took the hand crank off of the bed and started beating himself repeatedly in the head. Once again, 7daysofhell slipped into a deep bout of amnesia, but at least the doctors were able to determine how it happened.

They made everyone leave the visitors area, except for the six gay lovers. After all, when 7daysofhell wakes up, he will need someone to hold him and make him feel all better.


----------



## TwinACStacks

A little known fact.

Marty sells some of the Best Tubes in the Business. NOT ONLY does he carefully inspect them for physical appearance and then matches them on a State-of-the-Art Hickok tester on which they are matched to within 1 RCH, (That's a techinical term). He also checks with Calipers the pin alignment insuring perfect insertion


Rectally.

He likes to talk to the bearded Lady with calipers in his hands.

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

Twin stacks wears calipers.


----------



## TwinACStacks

j2112c Was out taking a walk one day, and what a Fine day it was! The sun was out and the birds were singing it was a day made to be out and just live life. As he was walking he came across a man yelling at what appeared to be a thoroughbred horse. Always having been interested in horses, (and jealous of the size of their packages), j2112c inquired to the man as to what seemed to be the problem. The man replied: "Good for nothing race horse just cost me fortune at the track, for a Hundred bucks I'd sell him right now!!

Sensing a good buy even if the Horse couldn't race, j211c whipped out the money and bought the horse on the spot. He then thought to ask the man what was wrong with the Horse to which the Man replied, "Every once in a while he goes cross-eyed and Today he did it during a race and I lost all the money I had bet on him."

A little taken aback, j2112c inquired as to whether or not there was a Way to fix the problem. The man replied: "Oh Yes, there is!" At this point, the man produced a 2 foot long piece of 1/2 inch pipe which he then inserted in the Horses ass and started to blow into the end of the pipe. Motioning j2112c to the front of the animal, j2112c then saw the horses eyes un-cross.

A couple of minutes went by as they were completing the deal and the Horse's eyes went crossed again. "OK! Don't worry I'll fix it!!" exclaimed the man as he re-inserted the pipe and started blowing. Shure as hell the horse's eyes uncrossed.

Well they stood there for another 10 minutes, pipe still in the ass of the Horse when you guessed it.... The Horses eye's went crossed again. Upset now that he may have spent his money foolishly, j2112c went to the back end of the animal, pulled out the pipe, turned it AROUND and re inserted it in the horses ass and started blowing. Yep the horses eyes came un-crossed.

Almost speechless the Man asked j2112c: " Why on earth did you turn the pipe around before you blew in the Horses ass???

j2112c simply smiled and said: " You didn't think I wanted to catch Your germs, did You???"

 TWIN


----------



## MM54

Twin's a bad storyteller.


----------



## racko7566

Marty, A blind republican, *exploding glass in his eyes from the B&K tube tester*. Accompanied by 2112, crippled from the waist down communist, *special olympics hurdling accident*, and one armed democrat TWINACSTACKS, *swimming with the dolphins vacation gone horribly wrong* decide to have a nice lunch together and discuss some politics. So they find their way to a table and settle in. 2112 calls the waitress over. " Excuse me mam, Is that Jesus sitting over there?" " Why yes it is sir" she replied. "Tell Jesus I would like to buy his lunch." Said 2112 all exited from the waist up. "Mam, tell Jesus I would like to buy his desert." said Marty. "She's over here dumn ass." said TWINACSTACKS. "Mam, Tell Jesus I'd like to pick up his tip." "Will do" says the waitress.

About 5 minutes later Jesus comes strolling over to their table. "Excuse me my sons, that was a very kind jesture from you all. Was it you my son that bought my lunch" said Jesus? "Why yes it was lord." said 2112. Jesus layed his hand on 2112's legs and said "thankyou." All of a sudden 2112's legs started to tremble and twitch. "Oh my god I can feel my legs, I can walk again. Thank you lord." He then turned towards Marty, who was looking the other way,and laid his palm across Martys eyes. And a white light was coming from under his hand. "Thank you my son." said Jesus. Oh....my.....Godddddd I can see i can see!!! Jesus then turned towards TWINACSTACKS. And TWIN says, "don't you fucking touch me, I'm on disability."


----------



## MartyStrat54




----------



## TwinACStacks

Oh it's true, it's true... Said Twin with his ONE arm around his sister Shelly.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

With the fragrant odor of the Kaolin/ Kennett Square mushroom pits wafting through his nostrils Racko, * an ex-communicated Mennonite from Lancaster area, but that's a whole 'nother story*, having spent the first part of the day walking through Longwood Gardens contemplating his options, decided to stop into a little local Chad's Ford area Pub. Just to whet his whistle, and maybe work up an appetite for the Collegeville Inn Smorgasbord later on around dinner time. Racko walked into the basically deserted establishment and sat down on the stool. The bar tender looked up to say: "What'll Ya Have?" When he noticed that sitting on top of Racko's shoulder was a perfectly proportioned little man about 12 inches tall.

Not wanting to appear impolite or rude, (but You know he was dying to ask), the bartender didn't say a thing out of the ordinary. "I'll have a beer and a shot." replied Racko. So the barkeep sets him up a round. BEFORE racko can inbibe, the little man jumps down from his shoulder, knocks over the beer and shot, and jumps back up on his shoulder, just like before.

Without saying a word the bartender wipes up the mess and asks Racko if he wants another round, to which Racko replys: "Yes Please." *These ex-Mennonites are so polite it just makes you want to drive a spike through their frigging foreheads*

So he sets him up another round, same thing happens. The little man jumps off his shoulder knocks over the beer and shot and jumps back on his shoulder. The Bartender can no longer contain himself. "Hey, wait a minute! what's the deal here? I kept quiet about it, but everytime I set you up a round, that little guy on your shoulder spills your drinks before you can drink them!!! What the F*cks going on? Why do you put up with that shit???" the bartender demanded.

Racko sighs and says: " Look, it's a long story. I was walking down the beach one day. As I was walking, I noticed that slightly offshore, some poor guy was having a horrible Dolphin related accident, but he looked like a Republican, so I just said to myself... "F*ck it", and kept walking on. Suddenly I tripped over something buried in the sand, so I uncovered it and what do You think it was?" "I dunno." replied the bartender. "It was a lamp, just like in the Aladdin tale." said Racko. "I said to myself, no this can't possibly be... but I rubbed it anyways. Guess what happened?" he queried. "I dunno." replied the Bartender.

"As I rubbed it a Genie appeared and said that I was his master and that he would grant me three wishes." explained Racko. "So immediately I wished for the most beautiful girlfriend in the world, and POOF there she was." "Go on." urged the bartender. "The next day, I rubbed the lamp again and wished for more money than I could ever spend. I was instantly rich and I'll never want for anything again." "You have one more wish, the Genie told me." continued Racko. "So I thought and thought, and about a week later I rubbed the lamp a third time." 

"This time I wished for a foot-long Prick." said Racko motioning towards his shoulder with his thumb...

"AND HERE HE IS!!!"

 TWIN


----------



## racko7566

Nice one Twin.


----------



## TwinACStacks

7daysinhell got his first job working weekday afternoons after school, putting wheels on mis-carriages...

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks has twin, blond daughters who just turned 18. Like ripe fruit on the vine. Little did he know they were both seeing MartyStrat54 at the same time in the same bed. One day, Twin comes home early and to his disbelief catches Marty in bed with his daughters. Twin is furious, but the clever Marty was able to calm him down with a free ride on this:


----------



## TwinACStacks

One day, I think it was last summer around late July, (I dunno maybe early August), Marty decided that he would like to try Horseback riding. It was something he had always wanted to do but never got around to. He invited the Bearded Lady and the Monkey to go along but they were busy that day giving a brazilian wax job to j2112c, and couldn't go along. Marty was sad, but determined to ride.

Well, he went to the horse riding place and got him a fine steed. "Well, here goes!" thought Marty as he climbed into the saddle and gently coaxed the horse into a trot. "This isn't so bad." thought Marty as he urged the animal into a Canter then a Full gallop. Marty liked the feeling of racing in the wind with his long blond hair flying out behind him. "Take that Fabio!!" thought Marty smugly.

When all of a sudden the _unthinkable_ happened! Marty's foot slipped out of the stirrup!! "Oh no!" thought Marty as he started to slip sideways out of the saddle. He tried to grab onto the saddle horn but to no avail, the Horse had now REALLY opened up and was galloping furiously...

Marty could feel himself slipping over, he looked down and saw the horses hooves dangerously close to his head. He knew that if he came in contact with those hooves it would be the end. Over he went some more, STILL miraculously holding on for dear life. It was then that Marty realized he was starting to Black out, he was in some serious trouble!!!







That was the moment when the Manager from K-mart came out and pulled the plug.

Shelly applauded....

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

Now that is not bad at all.


----------



## 7daysofhell

TwinACStacks is my bitch...


----------



## TwinACStacks

7daysofhell said:


> TwinACStacks is my bitch...



 Pardon Me 7Days of Wormfood? I'm your DOMINATRIX bitch. Now lick Shelly's hooves SLAVE.....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

One Day 7daysofhell, (you all KNEW this was coming), decided that he would beat the onset of his male pattern baldness by shaving off what was left of his body hair. Looking at his pale but shiney head he decided he would put the top down and go for a long drive through the country in his convertible.

Thinking to himself that this was a pretty good idea, (he'd get a little sun on that naked pate), he just laid back in the drivers seat and enjoyed the feeling of the wind on his once-forrested scalp.

Things were swinging along beautifully when he came across a farmer tending a flock of sheep in a field. So he pulled his car over to the side and shut the engine off. It was such a serene sight that he just sat there staring at them for a goodly amount of time.

That was when he realized he was getting hungry, and those sheep were just basically lamb chops on the hoof. His devious mind suddenly flashed on a plan to "acquire" one of the said sheep. Thinking of a card-counting technique he had learned as an altarboy from the pedophile Priest that he was being "mentored" by in 2006, he approached the farmer who was leaning against the barbwire fence. He was actually salivating.(thinking of a nice MLT: that is mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich--with some nice homemade rye bread, where the mutton is pink and sliced nice and thin....mmmmmmmnnnn.....)

"That's a mighty fine flock of sheep you got there." 7daysofhell wolfishly observed, snapping out of his hunger-inspired daydream. "Yep. They are mighty fine aren't they?" also nievely observed the Farmer.

"Tell me," said 7daysofhell slyly, "If I can guess how many sheep there are in your flock could I have one?" "Okay Son, but You ain't gonna do it!!" chortled the man.

Taking a minute, 7daysofhell surveyed the flock and then pronounced: "357".

The farmer was amazed. "How in the dang-burned hell did you do that?" he sputtered. BUT, true to his word, he let 7daysofhell go out into the field and pick his own sheep. 7daysofhell happily sprang over the fence and grabbed the nice big fat one he had his eyes on the whole time.

7daysofhell then put the sheep into his back seat triumphantly and was getting ready to drive off, when the Farmer sidled up and said: 






"Hey. If I can guess the color your hair used to be, can I have my dog back??"

 TWIN


----------



## 7daysofhell

TwinACStacks said:


> Pardon Me 7Days of Wormfood? I'm your DOMINATRIX bitch. Now lick Shelly's hooves SLAVE.....
> 
> TWIN



Yeth Mithtress :Ohno:


----------



## MartyStrat54

A glorious day with my little Shelly.






We start off with a cozy ride on the outback.






7 quid for a new hairdo.






After torrid sex, Shelly likes a few puffs from her ciggy.






This is Shelly's younger sister (sisters?)






Shelly's "HALF" brother.






Shelly's aunt at a wedding.






Taking a stroll outside of our neighborhood. Not everyone understands.






Ah, my Shelly. All primed up for a night on the town. A fine looker she is.


----------



## j2112c

Marty, mate, Shelly is cute I grant you, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and your eyes are patently rose coloured and crossed... these are real lookers:

Herdwicks - blue sheep - unique to my area, originally of Scandanvia, hill sheep, rock hard and the pride of Northern Britain!

http://www.sovereignty.org.uk/features/articles/herdwicks.jpg

http://www.ansi.okstate.edu/breeds/sheep/herdwick/Herdwick1.jpg


I know the second one is a Ram... I'm not fussy when it comes to coupling!!

This is becoming a sheep thread! ha ha! Porn!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

A friendly looking animal I must say. Probably an easy "squeeze." Yes, we have to rethink ourselves on this thread. What better way than the homely sheep.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Maybe you have heard this one before.

j2112c had a slight lisp when he talked, but it never stopped him from seeing his dream to become a salesman. One day, he answered an ad for a toothbrush salesman. He arrived on time and was given an interview. The manager, not wanting any trouble, hired j2112c and set him up with product and a general area to sell in. He was told to report back for the sales meeting on Wednesday.

When Wednesday came around, all of the salesmen were there. Some of the cocky one's were talking behind j2112c's back.

The meeting was called to order. The manager asked Frank how many toothbrushes he had sold. Frank said, "312." Everyone clapped. The manager asked Marty how many he had sold? Marty responded, "472." Everyone clapped and a few hoots were heard. The manager went around and finally got to his top salesman, TwinStacks. "How many did you sell this week?" TwinStacks replied, "936." Everyone clapped and hooped and hollered. Then, looking at j2112c, he quietly asked, "How many toothbrushes did you sell?" The room became quiet. j2112c stood up and said, "I sold 3112 toothbrushes." Everyone was stunned. Not a word was said. j2112c showed the manager his sales book. Everything was in order. The manager told him, "You have smashed all prior sales records. Can you tell us how you did it?"

With his lisp, he said, "Sure." "I went to the airport, because I knew it would be busy." "I set up a table with a sign that said "Free Dip and Chips." "People would stop by and try it." "When they ate the dip, they would say, "That taste like shit!" I would tell them, "It is...wanna buy a toothbrush?"


----------



## TwinACStacks

Now THAT's funny.

I'm very unhappy about his un-ethical sales technique though....

I really am a better salesman.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

7daysofhell and Marty are members of the John Mayer fan club....

 TWIN


----------



## racko7566

TwinACStacks said:


> 7daysofhell and Marty are members of the John Mayer fan club....
> 
> TWIN



Not anymore, cause they are the black sheep.


----------



## TwinACStacks

TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> TWIN



He he he... but it needs a Kerry King Nail Bomb wist band


----------



## TwinACStacks

I bet I can Make Marty weep:











TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Okay...that does it. The bearded lady I have dated, but the monkey sucking itself, that's disgusting. Morbid, animal photographs. Oh, by the way??? Where's my sweet little Shelly?


----------



## TwinACStacks

The bearded Lady has a nice rack. You have no idea how hard it was to make the monkey DO that. I had to promise him things....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well nonetheless, it's gross. And it's not even a real circus monkey. They have 12-inch schlongs.

FIVE...FIVE DOLLAR...FIVE DOLLAR "FOOT LONG."


----------



## TwinACStacks

There is that better? Don't ask where I got the Tiny cowboy suit and saddle.

Let's just say that I know a really pissed off Cowgirl/Dominatrix little person....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Ok !! you all suck cocks !!! now bring it .....

that otta revive this thread ....


----------



## TwinACStacks

Shortly after having had intimate relations with his amplifier, Hot Tubes decided he would go out hunting with a couple of his friend's which also owned 6100s. They had been in the woods for a couple of hours when they came upon a strange set of tracks in the Snow. "What are those?" inquired Hot Tubes. "I Don't know, I've never seen those before, but I'll bet they are Badger tracks!" replied Longfuxinhair. "Nah You are both wrong." Interupted rjohns. "I've seen those before they are definitely Wolverine tracks!"

So they followed the tracks. Finding evidence of whatever it was passing, a dead bird here and there some half eaten stuff left behind.... "Surely a Wolverine." chortled rjohns " Look at all the dead things it left. You know they kill just for the fun of it Don't you?" he asked. "I still think It's a badger!" exclaimed Longfuxinhair. Hot tubes didn't say anything as he was reliving his moment with his 6100 a few hours earlier.... *sigh*

Soon it was starting to get towards late afternoon, and they were becoming concerned as to whether they could catch up with this creature before nightfall. They had never been into the woods this far and weren't certain if they could even find their way back home. If night came they would be trapped out here in the wild with only their collective wits to save them.

Suddenly they heard it. A faint sound coming from up ahead around the next hill. Stealthily they followed the now VERY fresh tracks. "Shhhhh!!!" admonished Hot Tubes, Gun at the ready. "It's right up ahead!" All three of them Raised their weapons for a clean shot, JUST A LITTLE BIT FURTHER.....

THEN, JUST AS THEY CRESTED THE HILL: 

















The 5:19 Canadian National bound for Poughkeepsie Killed them all.

The End.

But: TwinACStacks inherited their 6100's.... so somebody did live happily ever after!!!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

what Twin did not tell you was he has dual citizenship and that the tracks were made by the new Marshall/Goodyear DSL series tire....wonder who was driving!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Ixsnay on the ualcitizenshipday....

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin once grew a mustache. He wanted to cover the stretch marks.


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair Once went and applied for a small business loan at a Bank. The banker then asked, "well how much do you need, 50 maybe a 100 thousand?"

"$39.97" proudly explained longfxukxnhair. "All I need is 2 kneepads and a calculator!"


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

The last time Twin saw 90210 was when he got on a scale.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

longfxukxnhair is still upset that Twins DSL ate his 6100's


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Buggs.Crosby said:


> longfxukxnhair is still upset that Twins DSL ate his 6100's



You have done well on this thread. That clearly is a lie. LOL


----------



## TwinACStacks

My signature says it all....

 TWIN


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Twin hates bashing 6100's


----------



## plankbadger

Buggs.Crosby is a really nice guy.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Your supposed to lie in this thread


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Buggs no longer needs rubber sheets on the bed.


----------



## tonefreak

longfxukxnhair hates les pauls... and Slash.


----------



## plankbadger

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Your supposed to lie in this thread


I did


----------



## TwinACStacks

Twin is best buds with Eric, Jimmy, and Jeff.

He was also a Yardbird.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Oh lord...are you all back over here again? And you brought some new faces to sit on as well. Well pip, pip, cheerio. Carry on.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MartyStrat54 said:


> Oh lord...are you all back over here again? And you brought some new faces to sit on as well. Well pip, pip, cheerio. Carry on.


.
Marty hates coming up with new ways to bust new members balls


----------



## TwinACStacks

Buggs once drank a bottle of Heinz Ketchup.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin thinks ten millipedes equal one centipede


----------



## TwinACStacks

I happen to know for a fact that 10 Centipedes equal 1 Decipede....

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> I happen to know for a fact that 10 Centipedes equal 1 Decipede....
> 
> TWIN



tomato tomato


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longfxukxnhair is dating Flo from the Progressive commercial.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin thinks the Ipad is a feminine product


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair has a pet Zebra he named Spot....

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin ran into a girl on the street. Her shirt said GUESS on it. He said implants.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longfxukxnhair and his two companions Hot Tubes and Rjohns were out in the big City. They had just finished having lunch at the Restaurant at the top of the city's largest skyscraper, and were in the elevator going back down when all the Power went out and the elevator stopped dead.

"Okay. What Now?" asked rjohns? "Help!!" Yelled Hot Tubes. "That won't work." chided longfxukxnhair. "But MAYBE if we all yelled together someone would hear us." suggested rjohns.

So on the Count of 3 after taking deep breaths they all yelled:

"Together, together.together...."


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin once lived in California. He had a watch that was 3 hours fast. He could never get it fixed so he moved to New York


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Longfxukxnhair was the middle man in the Gibson wood smuggling scheme


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Buggs like to incorporate the word "platypus" into as many conversations he can.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Longfxukxnhair can only say Platy as he is still gender confused and veering away from the pus


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

BUGGS i hear you have been ordered to stay away from the school yards !!!!
Sick bastard ......


----------



## Procter2812

longhair wants slash's anal babies


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair was walking down the street one day. Under his arm he carried a very well-groomed and quite healthy Pig. As he walked past the bus stop a woman asked him: "where did you get that?"

"I won him in a raffle." the Pig replied.


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

OK OK. I thought this was taking a shot at the last person who posted. I see 2 people (Twin and Procter) took a shot at me 2 post later. If thats how its gonna be...........


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Procter is really short for proctologist.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin one time was looking thru a Hustler when he stumbled across an ad for a penis enlarger. He quickly ordered one. 14 days later when he received the package he found a magnifying glass in it.


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair is so Skinny...

If he turned around sideways and stuck out his tongue, he'd look like an open zipper.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin doesnt know the meaning of the word fear. But then again he doesnt know the meaning of most words.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Proctor had on a Ski jacket and a Parka while painting his bedroom because the label on the paint can said: " Two coats required for best results"

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Buggs was out in the swamp the other day. He was checking all the Alligator's feet to see if they were wearing shoes....

 TWIN


----------



## Procter2812

TwinACStacks said:


> Buggs was out in the swamp the other day. He was checking all the Alligator's feet to see if they were wearing shoes....
> 
> TWIN



<< TWIN has a fetish for the squirrel off ice age


----------



## TwinACStacks

Proctor went to see his Physician because both of his ears were bright red. "What Happened to your ear?" asked the doctor. "Well," said Proctor, " I was doing some ironing the other day and the phone rang. I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." explained Proctor. "What about the other ear?" asked the doctor.

"They called Back." said Proctor.


 TWIN


----------



## Procter2812

TwinACStacks said:


> Proctor went to see his Physician because both of his ears were bright red. "What Happened to your ear?" asked the doctor. "Well," said Proctor, " I was doing some ironing the other day and the phone rang. I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." explained Proctor. "What about the other ear?" asked the doctor.
> 
> "They called Back." said Proctor.
> 
> 
> TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

The bearded lady made Procter an ice water enema. She thought he had burned both "rears."


----------



## Hamohapic

MartyStrat54 said:


> The bearded lady made Procter an ice water enema. She thought he had burned both "rears."



Back in 1989 Marty traveled to South African land Zulu. Up on his arrival he decided to go and have a cold beer at a local bar, When the waiter came to serve, Marty was astonished that the waiter was Ozzy Ozzborne. The end!


----------



## MartyStrat54

And I spent the next five years trying to understand WTF he was saying to me.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MartyStrat54 said:


> And I spent the next five years trying to understand WTF he was saying to me.


HA..Ha....that's just what i needed on a saturday night stuck at home with kids...Thanks Marty....you made it worth it....No lie


----------



## thrawn86

Buggs is not a family man.....he stays home with the kids only to play his Marshall.


----------



## TwinACStacks

How do you tell when you have recieved a FAX from Thrawn?


There's a stamp on it.


 TWIN


----------



## Procter2812

TwinACStacks said:


> How do you tell when you have recieved a FAX from Thrawn?
> 
> 
> There's a stamp on it.
> 
> 
> TWIN



Twin only uses 6550 tubes becuase he like the bottle size


----------



## TwinACStacks

Proctor is upset he can't fit 300B's in HIS marshall.....


 TWIN


----------



## Procter2812

TwinACStacks said:


> Proctor is upset he can't fit 300B's in HIS marshall.....
> 
> 
> TWIN



300 'B' stands for beastlyyy


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty has a Pet Owl that says:

What, What?

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

It's a Polish owl.


----------



## Procter2812

MartyStrat54 said:


> It's a Polish owl.



with a big beak and can drink vodka like theres no tomorrow


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Procter loves their popcorn so much he bought their Orville guitar.


----------



## Hamohapic

longfxukxnhair doesn't like Gibson guitars.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Hamohapic know how to spell Messa correctly.

LOL

Sorry, I had to


----------



## Hamohapic

longfxukxnhair said:


> Hamohapic know how to spell Messa correctly.
> 
> LOL
> 
> Sorry, I had to



lol 

longfxukxnhair cant play sweet child of mine.


----------



## TwinACStacks

How do You tell when Hamohapic has been playing a computer game?


The Joystick is all wet....

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

TwinStacks plays Vox because it is easy to spell.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> TwinStacks plays Vox because it is easy to spell.



Davids main set up is a B-52 AT100


----------



## NewReligion

longfxukxnhair STILL cant play sweet child of mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And asked me last week how to bias a AT100.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> longfxukxnhair STILL cant play sweet child of mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And asked me last week how to bias a AT100.



LMFAO

Did not!
David thinks a pentatonic is a drink after 5.


----------



## NewReligion

longfxukxnhair thinks a Fuzzy Navel is what he sticks his finger into just before he falls to sleep.


----------



## MajorNut1967

newreligion said:


> longfxukxnhair thinks a fuzzy navel is what he sticks his finger into just before he falls to sleep.



lmao


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Majornut...........I got nothing. The name says it all.


----------



## TwinACStacks

New religion and Longfxukxnhair got all excited when they finally finished their Jigsaw Puzzle in Six Months.


The Box said 2-4 years....


 TWIN


----------



## Hamohapic

TwinACStacks said:


> New religion and Longfxukxnhair got all excited when they finally finished their Jigsaw Puzzle in Six Months.
> 
> 
> The Box said 2-4 years....
> 
> 
> TWIN



 How do you keep TWIN busy for hours?

Scroll Down. --->























<----- Scroll Up.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

These are the directions Hamohapic follows when having sex..... ^ v repeat if necessary


----------



## TwinACStacks

Sorry It took me a while to get back, I was busy scrolling....


 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

It took Hamohapic an hour to cook minute rice....

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

You can tell what part of Twins body he has been scratching by the odor coming from his fingers.


----------



## TwinACStacks

What happens if your fingertips are blue?

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> What happens if your fingertips are blue?
> 
> TWIN



You posted pics of that in the other thread. Remember? Its ok. We will get you your meds.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Do you know how Longfxukxnhair's brain cells die?






ALONE.


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

You will marry a cat harassing loincloth chomping monkey who likes to fry up the vindictive rectum and the necropheliac snot gobbler.


----------



## TwinACStacks

We all know why you wear your hair long.


It's to hide the valve stem.


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> We all know why you wear your hair long.
> 
> 
> It's to hide the valve stem.
> 
> 
> TWIN



You know where my valve stem is. Dont kid the members


----------



## TwinACStacks

So does the Bearded Lady, the Monkey, and Shelly.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin thought a quarterback was a refund


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longfxukxnhair almost died Ice fishing....


Zamboni machine hit him.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin has a point. When he wears a hat it cant be seen


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longfxukxnhair once had a Job in an M&Ms factory....



He was a proof reader.


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin tried to call 911 but couldnt find the 11 on the phone


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longfxukxnhair once broke his arm raking leaves...


Fell out of the tree.


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin tried to sell a broken guitar. No strings attached


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longfxukxnhair farts in the bathtub and eats the bubbles.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

When Twin goes swimming he leaves a ring around the pool.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Why doesn't Longfxukxnhair work as an Elevator operator?


'Cause he has no idea of the route.


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

When Twin has sex his old lady gets on top cause he can only fuck up


----------



## TwinACStacks

so true...so true....Just ask her.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> so true...so true....Just ask her.
> 
> TWIN



I said "her" cause I didnt want to be the one to bring your secret to light.


----------



## TwinACStacks

How do You make Longfxukxnhair scream?


F*ck him real hard then wipe your dick off on his curtains....


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin, I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Me too.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

I got a chance to met Twins parent. A swell bunch of fellas


----------



## TwinACStacks

Oh.... You joined in then?

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> Oh.... You joined in then?
> 
> TWIN



No, my standards are to high. No chicks with sticks for me.


----------



## NewReligion

Longfxukxnhair lives in fear that this thread will one day meet its end.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Longfxukxnhair lives in fear that this thread will one day meet its end.



I really do. 
David is the real longfxukxnhair.

Please, call me Richard.


----------



## NewReligion

Richard is planning to cut his hair and begin a career in Immigration.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NOT!
I wanna be president and I wont cut my hair


----------



## Australian

Richard is George Bush incognito.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Australian said:


> Richard is George Bush incognito.



Thats cold.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Australian is green and sells car insurance.


----------



## TwinACStacks

How do you tell when Longfxukxnhair is making Chocolate Chip cookies?








There are M&M shells all over the kitchen floor....



 TWIN


----------



## Procter2812

Twin seems to have a fetish or passionate love for M&M's


----------



## TwinACStacks

I once lost a whole bag of them, and a Class Ring, to a random Event Horizon.....


 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Proctor likes to rub the Blue ones on his nipples until they melt.....


 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> I once lost a whole bag of them, and a Class Ring, to a random Event Horizon.....
> 
> 
> TWIN



Some how I knew this was going to show up on this thread…where should I mail your ring to.?

You know Twin, I tried to understand your point of view once, but I couldn’t get my head that far up my ass.


----------



## NewReligion

Event Horizon.....

Twin likes Black Holes and Marshall Man wishes he knew a few. 

This may not be a lie. Was that off color? No pun intended.


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> Event Horizon.....
> 
> Twin likes Black Holes and Marshall Man wishes he knew a few.
> 
> This may not be a lie. Was that off color? No pun intended.



Hey, you guys leave my event horizon out of this....


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marshall Mann got his Mode 4 from Twin. Who now wants it back. Twin wants to Mod it to fit multiple class rings and sound like his DSL (which sounds like a line 6)


----------



## NewReligion

Richard has been voted most likely to succeed on the Boogie Board.


----------



## Marshall Mann

longfxukxnhair said:


> Marshall Mann got his Mode 4 from Twin. Who now wants it back. Twin wants to Mod it to fit multiple class rings and sound like his DSL (which sounds like a line 6)



Don't forget the Rolex ...


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> Richard has been voted most likely to succeed on the Boogie Board.



NR. I'm guessing you were born on a Highway, thats were most accidents happen.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Richard has been elected President of the Boogie Board.



David, 
Are you still mad about the B-52 remark?


----------



## NewReligion

NR. I'm guessing you were born on a Highway, thats were most accidents happen. 

Drive fast and weave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, see that is true. You are supposed to make up a lie.


----------



## NewReligion

longfxukxnhair said:


> David,
> Are you still mad about the B-52 remark?



Not at all. I went out and played one today. But I have to disagree with you. It does not blow away any of my Marshalls. But I will never tell.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Not at all. I went out and played one today. But I have to disagree with you. It does not blow away any of my Marshalls. But I will never tell.



I didnt say Marshall. I said Mesa. Its the poor mans Mesa ya know


----------



## NewReligion

longfxukxnhair said:


> I didnt say Marshall. I said Mesa. Its the poor mans Mesa ya know



El Presidente has Spoken. So how goes the AZ Immigration Bill Sir?

Actually King Richard has a better Ring to it.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> El Presidente has Spoken. So how goes the AZ Immigration Bill Sir?



The gov signed it into law today. It goes into effect in 90 days. The left is calling it racist as they do about everything. It real is old.


----------



## NewReligion

longfxukxnhair said:


> The gov signed it into law today. It goes into effect in 90 days. The left is calling it racist as they do about everything. It real is old.



Richard wanted to suggest Bill 1070 would make a great name for a Classic Rock Band from Mexico but it would be in poor taste to post that on the intended thread so I did it for him here instead.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

newreligion said:


> richard wanted to suggest bill 1070 would make a great name for a classic rock band from mexico but it would be in poor taste to post that on the intended thread so i did it for him here instead.



lmao


----------



## NewReligion

AH Oh, here comes Adwex.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

I didnt do anything. It was all David


----------



## NewReligion

longfxukxnhair said:


> I didnt do anything. It was all David



Spoken like a true President.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Spoken like a true President.



plausible denial.


----------



## NewReligion

Richard hopes that *"I didnt do anything. It was all David"* will become the Official Marshall Forum Disclaimer ?


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Richard hopes that *"I didnt do anything. It was all David"* will become the Official Marshall Forum Disclaimer ?



Can we do that? Im all for it.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I modded an AT100 once. It KILLED. KT66's are the trick.

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> I modded an AT100 once. It KILLED. KT66's are the trick.
> 
> TWIN



Hey every one, Twin has a secret...a quote in regards to one of his favorite players (and mine as well) Frank Marino. 



> TwinACStacks…… Most of his amps and equipment are Solid State.



Embrace your fears Twin!


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marshall Mann said:


> Hey every one, Twin has a secret...a quote in regards to one of his favorite players (and mine as well) Frank Marino.
> 
> 
> 
> Embrace your fears Twin!



Dont forget to mention Twin likes 10' blue chicks.


----------



## Marshall Mann

longfxukxnhair said:


> Dont forget to mention Twin likes 10' blue chicks.



Oh yeah. And modded blow up dolls too.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marshall Mann said:


> Oh yeah. And modded blow up dolls too.



And the Modded butt plug.


----------



## Procter2812

longfxukxnhair said:


> And the Modded butt plug.



which now is a pyramid.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Procter2812 said:


> which now is a pyramid.



Man, I'd hate to see what that's going to to to Twins event horizon!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Three friends, Proctor, Longfxukxnhair and Marshall Mann, (two straight guys and a gay guy), and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came one of the straight guys, Proctor and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the second straight guy, Longfxukxnhair. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"

Marshall Mann turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."


 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> Three friends, Proctor, Longfxukxnhair and Marshall Mann, (two straight guys and a gay guy), and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.
> 
> First came one of the straight guys, Proctor and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."
> 
> Then came the second straight guy, Longfxukxnhair. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
> 
> Marshall Mann turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."
> 
> 
> TWIN



Shit, how come I always have to be the gay guy!

You better save all that hot air Twin, your going to need to blow up that modded blow up doll!


----------



## TwinACStacks

It's with terrible sadness that I have to report that, due to a terrible circumstance beyond anyone's control, Marshall Mann lost 95% of his mental abilities.


His WIFE left him....


 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann said:


> Shit, how come I always have to be the gay guy!
> 
> You better save all that hot air Twin, your going to need to blow up that modded blow up doll!




 Because YOU were the LAST poster. Brucey


 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> It's with terrible sadness that I have to report that, due to a terrible circumstance beyond anyone's control, Marshall Mann lost 95% of his mental abilities.
> 
> 
> His WIFE left him....
> 
> 
> TWIN



She didn't leave me. She's only gone for the weekend. And when she gets back, you better watch out!


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> Because YOU were the LAST poster. Brucey
> 
> 
> TWIN



You know what Twin, you're a lot like my lawn mower. Your hard to start, you omit noxious odors, and half the time you don’t work.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann said:


> She didn't leave me. She's only gone for the weekend. And when she gets back, you better watch out!



 Why, You planning on some real snappy comebacks??

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

Twin and his two best friends when skiing, and they couldn’t afford more than one room, so they have to share a bed (at Twins request). In the middle of the night, Twins friend on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild dream I was getting a hand job!" Twins friend on the left wakes up, and says, he can’t believe he had the same dream! Then Twin wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamt I was skiing!"


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like 10 shots of whiskey".

The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"

Marshall Mann says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."

The next day he comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.

The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?"

Marshall Mann says, "I found out that my son is gay."

The next day he comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.

Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"

Marshall Mann looks up and says, "Apparently my wife does."


 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

TwinACStacks said:


> Marshall Mann walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like 10 shots of whiskey".
> 
> The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"
> 
> Marshall Mann says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."
> 
> The next day he comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.
> 
> The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?"
> 
> Marshall Mann says, "I found out that my son is gay."
> 
> The next day he comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.
> 
> Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"
> 
> Marshall Mann looks up and says, "Apparently my wife does."
> 
> 
> TWIN



LMAO!!!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

LHAO because he posted at 4:20 when he was stoned outa his mind


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs gets paranoid when Twin tells jokes about gays.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

The concept of "NewReligion" came about while trying to find a "God" to support his "Alternative" lifestyle


----------



## TwinACStacks

He also gets Paranoid when we start talking DSL stuff....

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs.Crosby said:


> The concept of "NewReligion" came about while trying to find a "God" to support his "Alternative" lifestyle



I once heard James C. Marshall was like a God. And that is why Buggs, Twin and the rest of us obey the Marshall Law.

Or is there some truth to this?


----------



## longfxukxnhair

David gets his head waxed at the same place my girlfriend gets her naughty part waxed


----------



## TwinACStacks

The Car Wash????

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> The Car Wash????
> 
> TWIN



Are you still mad that the penis enlarger (magnifying glass) you bought left a 2nd degree burn on your junk?


----------



## NewReligion

longfxukxnhair said:


> David gets his head waxed at the same place my girlfriend gets her naughty part waxed



Richard has Honored me by using my head and his girl friends naughty part in the same sentence. Thank you.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Richard has Honored me by using my head and his girl friends naughty part in the same sentence. Thank you.



I knew I set myself up for that but I had to take the shot.


----------



## NewReligion

Richard is praying that he wins the Sheep Caption Contest so that he can add one more barn yard animal to his Blow Up Collection.


----------



## TwinACStacks

New Religion used Crate Flextones on his Album....

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

TwinACStacks said:


> New Religion used Crate Flextones on his Album....
> 
> TWIN



So true.

Twin is thinking of buying a Mesa because he heard he can get a Free Inflatable Sheep with the purchase since Buggs will not part with his new prize.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I've got that covered 'cause I'm winning the caption contest.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> So true.
> 
> Twin is thinking of buying a Mesa because he heard he can get a Free Inflatable Sheep with the purchase since Buggs will not part with his new prize.



David just made because he didnt win the blow up sheep. His currently is patched together with duct tape.


----------



## NewReligion

longfxukxnhair said:


> David just made because he didnt win the blow up sheep. His currently is patched together with duct tape.



LOL, damn it. Who poked holes in my Sheep? 

IDK Richard, that sounds like experience talkin'.


----------



## NewReligion

Richard has a thing for short Red heads with HUGE feet!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Oh Damn. Now Bugsy will have LOTS of friends....

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Richard has a thing for short Red heads with HUGE feet!



LMFAO

At least shes a hot woman. Twin digs "SHIMS" and 10' blue alien chicks


----------



## MartyStrat54

It's so nice seeing this thread is in good hands and very active (like the ski poles in both hands.) Nothing like what it was when short stories were being written depicting torrid animal sex and strange circus folks.

Since this is back to one liners, I will say that after two weeks sitting in an ice bath, my penis is now one-inch long. Brings a whole new meaning to "cold shot."


----------



## TwinACStacks

You were sitting in ice for two weeks and it got BIGGER????

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> You were sitting in ice for two weeks and it got BIGGER????
> 
> TWIN



Hell yes. This was the experimental Swedish flaccid retention method for penis enlargement. It worked. I gained a full 1/2-inch and my girth was up to the size of a dime. Look out ladies!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hell yes. This was the experimental Swedish flaccid retention method for penis enlargement. It worked. I gained a full 1/2-inch and my girth was up to the size of a dime. Look out ladies!


Marty is mad that i won his favorite bitch....sorry i meant victim....sorry yet again as i meant sheep


----------



## MartyStrat54

Have fun with that plastic asshole.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Have fun with that plastic asshole.



YOU talkin' to me???






 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hell yes. This was the experimental Swedish flaccid retention method for penis enlargement. It worked. I gained a full 1/2-inch and my girth was up to the size of a dime. Look out ladies!



It's not what you have Marty, it's how you use it!


----------



## TwinACStacks

And there is always ASIAN MIDGETS. To their point of view Marty's HUGE....

"Me give you fukee-sukee long time."

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin .....(sniff , sniff !) When's the last time you had a shower man ?


----------



## TwinACStacks

I don't need no stinkin' shower....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot Tubes can't bias. That is why his tubes are blue....

 TWIN


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Twin modded his DSL to sound like a 900


----------



## carnada

buggs has an avatar picture of his grave


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

i wished i was that good.
Carnada washes dishes for sticker books


----------



## tonefreak

HAHA I was just thinking when I noticed Carnada had been on and posted in another thread, that he should come in here lol...

hmmm... Buggs helps Carnada wash his dishes.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Tonefreak wishes he had good tone ! He's a closet fan of crate amps !!! hehehehe !!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

HT imprisons firefly's to make his tubes glow


----------



## tonefreak

HEY! Crates rock!!! 
lol jk jk

Buggs wishes his tubes glowed like HT's


----------



## TwinACStacks

tonefreak uses a DSL100 because he has superior taste in tone. Hey wait a minute..... that's NO lie!!!!

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

It isn't! lol

now this is a lie.
Twin uses a 6100 because he has superior taste in tone.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Tonefreak is a Marshall gender confused user....owns a DSL.... but is still thinking 900 or 6100 might free his Willy


----------



## StootMonster

I can't believe this threat lasted this long.


----------



## NewReligion

StootMonster said:


> I can't believe this threat lasted this long.



StootMonster is "Bound by Glory" and found this Thread to be a National Threat.

JK . David

David C. Hopkins on MySpace Music - Free Streaming MP3s, Pictures & Music Downloads


----------



## TwinACStacks

New Religion uses a lot of Gain because he doesn't know the words...

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

TwinACStacks said:


> New Religion uses a lot of Gain because he doesn't know the words...
> 
> TWIN



TwinACStacks wears a bad wig and talks about how all his Marshall amps "Go up to 11".


----------



## eljeffebrown

Twin. DEEP, DEEP down inside wants to own a 900DR!


----------



## NewReligion

Jeff Re-amps all of his Marshall recordings through a line6 in order to have something to discuss on all of the stupid line6 postings on this Forum lately. 

Just kidding. Jeff would sooner start playing acordian than use Line6.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

David really records using the 5 watt beer can amp. Claims the tone is in the pull tab.


----------



## eljeffebrown

Long hair just test drove that challenger, took pics of it, and says he owns it!


----------



## eljeffebrown

NewReligion said:


> Jeff Re-amps all of his Marshall recordings through a line6 in order to have something to discuss on all of the stupid line6 postings on this Forum lately.
> 
> Just kidding. Jeff would sooner start playing acordian than use Line6.



I like it!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Eljeffe uses and Endorses Marshall 900's. He was dropped on his head as an infant, from a second story window, and still suffers after effects to this day.

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

Twin is driving along when he is pulled over by the police. The cop approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts Twin. "Is there a fat girl in my car?"


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Marshall Man has dreams on owning my DSHell 100....and banging my Sheep!


----------



## eljeffebrown

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Marshall man has dreams on owning my DSHell 100....and banging my Sheep!



Buggs wishes he was a Blackhawks fan right now!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Jeff jumped on Chicago's band wagon at the start of this year.....just like the rest of their fans


----------



## eljeffebrown

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Jeff jumped on Chicago's band wagon at the start of this year.....just like the rest of their fans



your right that is a lie!  I'm a Wings fan!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Jeff wishes the Wings still had Hossa


----------



## eljeffebrown

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Jeff wishes the Wings still had Hossa




EDIT: Buggs still wishes Philly had Lindros!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

But...thats not a lie......Jeff thinks Clutch ripped off Bon jovi


----------



## Uncle Beef

Buggs absolutely loves Bon Jovi even though he knows they ripped off EVERYONE!!!!


----------



## eljeffebrown

eljeffebrown said:


> EDIT: Buggs still wishes Philly had Lindros!





Buggs.Crosby said:


> But...thats not a lie......



Thats true!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

eljeffebrown said:


> Thats true!



Eric in his prime...Yes...Eric now....no


----------



## TwinACStacks

eljeffebrown said:


> your right that is a lie!  I'm a Wings fan!



Shit. EVERYBODY I KNOW IS A WINGS FAN.

True story.

 TWIN


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Twin wants to trade his DSL + cash for Wallboys line6


----------



## Marshall Mann

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Twin wants to trade his DSL + cash for Wallboys line6



Buggs' DSL blew up after he modded it...oh wait, these are supposed to be lies about the previous poster!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Mann has experienced an Event Horizon.

 TWIN


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Twin loves 6100 users.......and MM tubes blow all time.....but say my DSL did blow up....at least it can be fixed instead of turning into a door stop


----------



## Marshall Mann

Twin, Buggs and El Jeffe were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its ass up in the air.

Buggs said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."

El Jeffe echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."

Twin sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MM's 6100 was so "perfect right out of the box" that he went out and bought a Mode 4 and a dual rectumfier


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marshall Mann said:


> Twin, Buggs and El Jeffe were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its ass up in the air.
> 
> Buggs said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
> 
> El Jeffe echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
> 
> Twin sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "


----------



## Marshall Mann

Buggs DSL has more import parts than a Honda Civic


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MM is just mad because my amp does not have one of these
"I noticed it says Japan on it, and has a sticker with Yamaha Corporation Importer"


----------



## MartyStrat54

This used to be one of my favorite places until Adwex told me I had to tone it down. I was getting a little over the edge, but damn it was fun spiking people.

Oh well. Buggs like to play ultra light guitars.


----------



## Wycked Lester

MartyStrat54 said:


> Oh well. Buggs like to play ultra light guitars.



marty just called buggs lazy.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Lester must have read the post Marty was referring to


----------



## Marshall Mann

Wycked Lester said:


> marty just called buggs lazy.



Lester took shit from a bunch of line 6 modeling guys!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Buggs.Crosby said:


> MM is just mad because my amp does not have one of these
> "I noticed it says Japan on it, and has a sticker with Yamaha Corporation Importer"



My amp doesn’t say Japan on it (although I cant speak for salsg)

And I'll take Japan over China or Taiwan!


----------



## eljeffebrown

Marshall Mann said:


> Twin, Buggs and El Jeffe were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its ass up in the air.
> 
> Buggs said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
> 
> El Jeffe echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
> 
> Twin sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

hey Jeff you were there....didn't MM jump out of the back of the truck and say "Leave my Bitch alone"?


----------



## eljeffebrown

Mr Mann can't stand his Mode 4! HE HATE'S IT!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Buggs.Crosby said:


> hey Jeff you were there....didn't MM jump out of the back of the truck and say "Leave my Bitch alone"?



Nope, I wasnt with you guys that night....


I think you are thinking of the night we were looking for blow up sheep!


----------



## Marshall Mann

eljeffebrown said:


> Mr Mann can't stand his Mode 4! HE HATE'S IT!



I'll take my Mode 4 over a 900 any day!


----------



## eljeffebrown

Marshall Mann spends THOUSANDS on tubes when he re-tubes his Mode 4!


----------



## longfxukxnhair

ElJeffs 900 has more silicone than Cher


----------



## Marshall Mann

eljeffebrown said:


> Marshall Mann spends THOUSANDS on tubes when he re-tubes his Mode 4!



If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong....

What does a vacuum cleaner and El Jeffe's 900 have in common.
Both suck when you turn them on.


----------



## eljeffebrown

Marshall Mann said:


> What does a vacuum cleaner and El Jeffe's 900 have in common.
> Both suck when you turn them on.



you are correct, that is a lie. only the vacuum and the mode 4 suck!


----------



## eljeffebrown

K kids I'm out for the night!


----------



## Marshall Mann

eljeffebrown said:


> K kids I'm out for the night!



Night Bro!


----------



## Wycked Lester

Marshall Mann said:


> Night Bro!



MM only uses his 6100 as a power amp for his POD


----------



## Marshall Mann

Wycked Lester said:


> MM only uses his 6100 as a power amp for his POD



Lester wants Marilyn Mansons Boobie suit for him self...


----------



## Wycked Lester

Marshall Mann requested pix of W. Lester wearing said plastic boobie suit.


----------



## lord_guitarula

and W. Lester sent him those pics.


----------



## Marshall Mann

lord_guitarula said:


> and W. Lester sent him those pics.



LMAO!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann said:


> Twin, Buggs and El Jeffe were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its ass up in the air.
> 
> Buggs said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
> 
> El Jeffe echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
> 
> Twin sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "



 Am I really that easy to read?

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

MM I apologize ahead of time for this one, but it was so good I had to use it. No offense intended.

Marshall Mann was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch. As the bartender poured him the drink he remarked, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's wrong?" After quickly downing his drink, MM replied "I got home and found my wife in bed with my best friend." "Wow," exclaimed the bartender, as he poured Marshall Mann a second triple. "No wonder you needed a stiff drink. The second triple is on the house." As Mann downed his second triple scotch, the bartender asked him, "What did you do?" "I walked over to my wife," he replied, "looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to pack her stuff and to get the hell out." "That makes sense," said the bartender, "but what about your best friend?" Marshall Mann replied, "I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye and said 'bad dog!'"

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> MM I apologize ahead of time for this one, but it was so good I had to use it. No offense intended.
> 
> Marshall Mann was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch. As the bartender poured him the drink he remarked, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's wrong?" After quickly downing his drink, MM replied "I got home and found my wife in bed with my best friend." "Wow," exclaimed the bartender, as he poured Marshall Mann a second triple. "No wonder you needed a stiff drink. The second triple is on the house." As Mann downed his second triple scotch, the bartender asked him, "What did you do?" "I walked over to my wife," he replied, "looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to pack her stuff and to get the hell out." "That makes sense," said the bartender, "but what about your best friend?" Marshall Mann replied, "I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye and said 'bad dog!'"
> 
> TWIN



Thats it Twin, I'm never talking to you again! sniff, sniff...


Whats Twin do when his wife is staggering??? Shoots her again!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Take my wife. Please TAKE my wife....

*rimshot*

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marshall Mann said:


> Thats it Twin, I'm never talking to you again! sniff, sniff...
> 
> 
> Whats Twin do when his wife is staggering??? Shoots her again!



O M G


----------



## StootMonster

longfxukxnhair plays a les paul copy through a 6" Peavey Rage.


----------



## NewReligion

Stoot asked Richard to help him hang Plankbadger (John) from the London Bridge.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Stoots guitar collection consist of 3 Crate tour packs


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Stoot asked Richard to help him hang Plankbadger (John) from the London Bridge.



That may be true. Time will tell


----------



## Marshall Mann

longfxukxnhair said:


> That may be true. Time will tell



I'll help!


----------



## cptnkrunch

> I'll help!


Marshallman likes sloppy seconds!


----------



## Wycked Lester

cptnkrunch is better with milk.


----------



## cptnkrunch

wycked lesters avatar is really him


----------



## Marshall Mann

cptnkrunch said:


> wycked lesters avatar is really him



cptnkrunch? Isn't that cereal for kids?


----------



## thrawn86

Marshall Mann's gender is questionable, since he can't spell Man correctly.


----------



## Marshall Mann

thrawn86 said:


> Marshall Mann's gender is questionable, since he can't spell Man correctly.



Two N's is MORE manly if ya ask me... 

I heard Thrawn took an IQ test once, and they said his results were negative.


----------



## thrawn86

That's correct.


----------



## Wycked Lester

Marshall Mann said:


> cptnkrunch? Isn't that cereal for kids?



no, silly rabbit, TRIX is for kids.


cptnkrunch is for pirates.....aarrrrggh

















that made me think of one....

cptnkrunch wears a puffy shirt.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Wycked Lester said:


> no, silly rabbit, TRIX is for kids.
> 
> 
> cptnkrunch is for pirates.....aarrrrggh
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> that made me think of one....
> 
> cptnkrunch wears a puffy shirt.



Yeah and whats with those legs Crunch????


----------



## cptnkrunch

> Yeah and whats with those legs Crunch????


They we're photoshoped from a picture of you.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Nah, that couldnt have been me. I'm the one trying to make my parts look BIGGER!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Lester is still looking for Marilyn Mansons "brown eye".


----------



## NewReligion

Marshall_Mann & Cptnkrunch Have decided to adopt a love Child. They will name him Marshall Crunch. 

I too had negative results with the IQ test.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I must also Have a Low IQ score. I thought that was DAMN funny...

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> Marshall_Mann & Cptnkrunch Have decided to adopt a love Child. They will name him Marshall Crunch.



LMAO! Thats priceless!


----------



## TwinACStacks

When Mann Gets on an elevator, just for kicks, he blows his Nose and then shows the contents of the kleenex to all the other passengers....

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> When Mann Gets on an elevator, just for kicks, he blows his Nose and then shows the contents of the kleenex to all the other passengers....
> 
> TWIN




When Twin gets on an elevator he drops his pants and tucks his dork between his legs and screams Im a girl.


----------



## Wycked Lester

LFH likes to fart in the bathtub.....

































.....and bite the bubbles.


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair said:


> When Twin gets on an elevator he drops his pants and tucks his dork between his legs and screams Im a girl.



 You forgot the part about the silk nightie....

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> You forgot the part about the silk nightie....
> 
> TWIN



I am trying to forget it. Thx Twin


----------



## cptnkrunch

> I am trying to forget it. Thx Twin


LFX is also trying to remember


----------



## TwinACStacks

CptnKrunch's Ol' Lady spilled the Beans: He does indeed get soggy in milk....

 TWIN


----------



## rjohns1

Twin secretly has a 6100, stock, and loves it when no one is around........................RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## cptnkrunch

> CptnKrunch's Ol' Lady spilled the Beans: He does indeed get soggy in milk....



 Damn her



> Twin secretly has a 6100, stock, and loves it when no one is around........................RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


rj secretly watched while AC made love with it


----------



## StootMonster

Captkrunch is awesome.


----------



## TwinACStacks

StootMonster said:


> Captkrunch is awesome.



UNTIL he gets soggy....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

rjohns1 stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!". 

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

CaptnKrunch and his Lady started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, he finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". To which she replies, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

 TWIN


----------



## cptnkrunch

> CaptnKrunch and his Lady started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, he finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". To which she replies, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes


That wasn't my old lady it was your's.


----------



## eljeffebrown

I don't know you but i'll give it a try, cptnkrunch doesn't smell like crayfish! 

EDIT: "I have no idea" if you are asking.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

rjohns1 said:


> Twin secretly has a 6100, stock, and loves it when no one is around........................RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I knew it!


----------



## Marshall Mann

eljeffebrown said:


> I don't know you but i'll give it a try, cptnkrunch doesn't smell like crayfish!
> 
> EDIT: "I have no idea" if you are asking.



Itls all good, we're all family here El Jeffe!


El Jeffe is the founder of Douche Bags for Life. 



No, really, he is, I just read his sig line!


----------



## Marshall Mann

What did Twin say to his wife when he noticed she had two black eyes? Noting, he already hit her twice!


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marshall Mann said:


> What did Twin say to his wife when he noticed she had two black eyes? Noting, he already hit her twice!



Marshalls middle name is wo


----------



## Marshall Mann

longfxukxnhair said:


> Marshalls middle name is wo



LH is a scrawny Little spit fuck, no really, I just read HIS sig line too! 


Hey LH, what the hell does that mean anyway?????


----------



## Marshall Mann

longfxukxnhair said:


> Marshalls middle name is wo



Actually its Da


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marshall Mann said:


> LH is a scrawny Little spit fuck, no really, I just read HIS sig line too!
> 
> 
> Hey LH, what the hell does that mean anyway?????



Scrawny lil spit fuck is a name Tallahassee calls Columbus in Zombieland


----------



## rjohns1

TwinACStacks said:


> As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
> 
> She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
> 
> rjohns1 stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
> 
> TWIN



haha, if she was ugly, that is exactly what I would say, you know me too well. And longhair secretly put a DSL circuit in his 6100 chasiss, as the tone is so much better. He put the 6100 guts back in the box.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

rjohns1 said:


> haha, if she was ugly, that is exactly what I would say, you know me too well. And longhair secretly put a DSL circuit in his 6100 chasiss, as the tone is so much better. He put the 6100 guts back in the box.



RJ and BUGGS have shared custody of the sheep


----------



## Marshall Mann

longfxukxnhair said:


> Scrawny lil spit fuck is a name Tallahassee calls Columbus in Zombieland



Ahhhh I see!


----------



## TwinACStacks

rjohns1 said:


> haha, if she was ugly, that is exactly what I would say, you know me too well. And longhair secretly put a DSL circuit in his 6100 chasiss, as the tone is so much better. He put the 6100 guts back in the box.



I sincerely believe that.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

cptnkrunch said:


> That wasn't my old lady it was your's.



That Biatch!!! She promised me she would stay out of the woods, btw she has no Grass, that was poison Ivy.

 TWIN


----------



## motorhead_6

TwinACStacks believes that an elite group of drug-sniffing Beagles have him under constant surveillance.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Motorhead did a complete set before realizing he had never taken his amp off of standby. His fellow bandmates all were talking about how good the set had sounded.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marty grew up on the mean streets of Paradise Valley.


----------



## lord_guitarula

long hair doesn't really like 6100s, in fact he hast multiple DSLs at home


----------



## MartyStrat54

lord_guitarula actually likes to wear six-inch spike heels.


----------



## lord_guitarula

marty buys cheap new tubes and sells them as NOS.


----------



## MartyStrat54

The lord would buy tubes from me, but he had his 6100 modded with all clipper diodes. Sort of a 900DR/6100. The tones are awesome. He can nail Starchild's sound perfectly.


----------



## NewReligion

Marty thinks I'm John.


----------



## StootMonster

New Religion thinks I'm the guy from bad religion.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

StootMonster said:


> New Religion thinks I'm the guy from bad religion.



I think Im a radio


----------



## TwinACStacks

Once there were three construction workers, Stootmonster, Lord Guitarula and New religion. When it was lunchtime one day, they all sat down together.

Stootmonster opened his lunchbox and said, "Eeew, turkey! I hate turkey!" So he shot himself with a rivet gun.

Lord Guitarula opened his lunchbox and said, "Eeew, ham! I hate ham!" So he jumped off the building.

New Religion opened his box and said, "Eeew, mac and cheese! I hate mac and cheese!" So he ran himself over with a bulldozer.

At the funeral, their three wives were talking about their lost husbands. The first two were very sad, but the third was rather puzzled.

Stootmonster's wife said, "I thought he liked turkey!"
Lord Guitarula's said, "I thought he liked ham!"
But the third one was still puzzled. She said, "I thought New Religion packed his own lunch." 


 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair said:


> I think Im a radio



That's nothing. I think I'm Clapton.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

It takes TWIN a long time to whack off, because of his "Slow Hand."


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> It takes TWIN a long time to whack off, because of his "Slow Hand."



 Then I scream like a girl. Where'd you think they got the term "Woman Tone" from??

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> Then I scream like a girl. Where'd you think they got the term "Woman Tone" from??
> 
> TWIN



I thought that was because you play through a DSL?


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall Mann sold his 6100 and got two MG15's that he uses as a stereo set up. He claims it has more balls than any set up he has tried. He has his eye on a Crate, so he can run his rig as a three-way.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty really don't know shit from good chocolate when it comes to tubes .......


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Marty really don't know shit from good chocolate when it comes to tubes .......



HT's tubes arent really hot, he only biases them at 17mv...


----------



## lord_guitarula

Marshall Mann isn't really a man .. and he doesn't like marshalls either!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Lord Guitarula is a Tonepire.

Egor urinates in the Back of his 6100 Head while he is asleep during the day.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin cant get enough fiber and loves Activa


----------



## motorhead_6

Some members of this board formed a football team and they thought they were bad. They named the team "The Marshall Majors". The team was made up of :

TwinACStacks
lord_guitarula
Marshall Mann
HOT TUBES 70
MartyStrat54
longfxukxnhair
StootMonster
NewReligion
Wycked Lester
cptnkrunch
rjohns1
eljeffebrown

They played a game against the Texas A&M Aggies. The score was 0 to 0 in the 1st quarter. At the end of the first quarter the Aggies heard the gunshot and thought it was halftime so they all ran off the field and into the locker-room. 3 plays later the Marshall Majors scored a field goal.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

motorhead_6 said:


> Some members of this board formed a football team and they thought they were bad. They named the team "The Marshall Majors". The team was made up of :
> 
> TwinACStacks
> lord_guitarula
> Marshall Mann
> HOT TUBES 70
> MartyStrat54
> longfxukxnhair
> StootMonster
> NewReligion
> Wycked Lester
> cptnkrunch
> rjohns1
> eljeffebrown
> 
> They played a game against the Texas A&M Aggies. The score was 0 to 0 in the 1st quarter. At the end of the first quarter the Aggies heard the gunshot and thought it was halftime so they all ran off the field and into the locker-room. 3 plays later the Marshall Majors scored a field goal.




Nice job. Covered all your bases in one posting
You forgot to mention we had one play called back


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Motorhead is hoping one day to make it big. He wants to turn his Pacer into a stretch limo


----------



## Uncle Beef

Longhair is just jealous of Motorhead because his Pacer was rejected for Wanyes World Part II. He also emailed me and told me that his Line 6 tone is for the gods and would be selling his 6100.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

UNCLEBEEF wishes he had a tone filed 6100 like all the guys on the DarkSide !!


----------



## Uncle Beef

In best Skywalker voice....

"ILL NEVER JOIN YOU!!!!"
you and your evil 6100 brood.

Hot Tubes wishes that his avatar picture wasnt taken when he rebiased his amp.


----------



## NewReligion

Uncle Beef is learning to use the force but his 1985 Renown will turn him to the Darkside. 

David

WWW.MySpace.come/DavidCHopkins


----------



## TwinACStacks

Uncle Beef KNOWS where the Tone is. He don't need no stinkin' box.

Go to the Light Uncle Beef.....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot Tubes wants everyone to buy up all the 6100s.

So he can have ALL the DSLs to HIMSELF!!!!!

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Twins avatar caption actually read, "Don't touch me there. You're not my Uncle".

Sorry Beef.


----------



## TwinACStacks

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, New religion led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked. "Why, that's the talking clock" New religion replied. "How does it work?" "Watch", he said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For fuck sake, you wanker, it's 2am in the fucking morning!!" 


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin enjoys tea bagging cold pudding snack packs.


----------



## NewReligion

LOL, Richard enjoys the visual thought of Twin Tea Bagging Cold Pudding Cups. 

Sorry Bro. It made me laugh.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

David wants to change his screen name to nofxukxnhair


----------



## NewReligion

LOL, I don't shave the boys. I thought I would just go with Male Pattern Baldness.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Then he would need a body shave. Yikes!


----------



## NewReligion

Marty has considered changing his name also, to Wax On Wacks Off.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Oh my...I owned a 1981 Renown. I thought it was killer. 1981 was a transition year for Marshall. Regaradless, JCM 2203 or a Peavey Renown?


----------



## Uncle Beef

NewReligion said:


> Twins avatar caption actually read, "Don't touch me there. You're not my Uncle".
> 
> Sorry Beef.





That was freaking great i actually did get a laugh at that one. My wife looked at me strange there for a second.

Marty my peavey was a pawn shop score for a 100 bucks. couldnt pass it up considering its absolutely bullet proof. That said I'm SOOOO freaking glad I have my Marshall back.


----------



## StootMonster

Uncle Beef is married to Aunt Tenderloin.


(yeah I know that was bad)


----------



## longfxukxnhair

StootMonster said:


> Uncle Beef is married to Aunt Tenderloin.
> 
> 
> (yeah I know that was bad)



And Stoot is cousin pork chop.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Add some "corn" and potatoes and you have a home cooked meal.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I really like Davids avatar. Him standing there in front of Two Marshalls with Flames, Arms crossed... doing his damndest to impersonate Uncle Fester.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

TwinACStacks said:


> I really like Davids avatar. Him standing there in front of Two Marshalls with Flames, Arms crossed doing his damndest to impersonate Uncle Fester....
> 
> TWIN





LOL, Cool name for my next Jam Band. "Uncle Fester".

Me playing in the NY Subway December 21 2012:


----------



## NewReligion

Twin gets turned on by Genderless Animated Porn Monsters wearing rubber gloves.






Just kidding. I hope I didn't cross the line.


----------



## TwinACStacks

What Line? You mean there's some kind of line? I gotta tell Longhair....

TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> What Line? You mean there's some kind of line? I gotta tell Longhair....
> 
> TWIN



Yes there is a line Twin. But I think its always behind us. We crossed it many months ago bro. 

That being said, Twin has a blow up doll named scooter.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Long Hair invited me over to see his collection of girls' bicycle seats. He had about 40 of them. The room wasn't air conditioned and it was smelling a little sour in there. However, Long Hair was relishing the moment with out stretched hands, group hugging four or five seats at a time.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Marty rolled a tube once.......he is still figuring out how to smoke it


----------



## MartyStrat54

Whitney Houston showed me how.


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair said:


> Yes there is a line Twin. But I think its always behind us. We crossed it many months ago bro.
> 
> That being said, Twin has a blow up doll named scooter.



 I named it after my dog's favorite pastime...

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04BInFE8Eec[/ame]

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

Twins avatar has those gloves on for a specific reason.


----------



## Wycked Lester

Marshall Mann once pee'd on an electric fence.......just because.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Now Mann, Turn Your head and Cough.....

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin enjoyed the movie Apollo 13 so much he is now trying to find the other 12.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Wycked Lester said:


> Marshall Mann once pee'd on an electric fence.......just because.



Hell yes!

And I'd do it again too!


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair said:


> Twin enjoyed the movie Apollo 13 so much he is now trying to find the other 12.



YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE????

Damn! I still ain't been able to find the 12 Fucking Geminis Yet. I Did find a little Russian Dog but he was kind of......uuuhhh.....Stiff....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann was overheard in the men's room stall whispering desperately, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"


 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> Marshall Mann was overheard in the men's room stall whispering desperately, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
> 
> 
> TWIN



And Twin should know, because he was in the stall next to me playing footsie with LH!


----------



## StootMonster

Everyone who posts in this thread on a regular basis are well-adjusted, classy contributors to society.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Thank God, I was getting worried. Some of the riff raff that you come across here on this thread.


----------



## NewReligion

StootMonster said:


> Everyone who posts in this thread on a regular basis are well-adjusted, classy contributors to society.



That being said, I cried about the Uncle Fester remarks.  I know not to bring my feelings on line with you brutes but I fucked up sorry. LOL! So what about my new Temp Avatar??? Think I'll get slapped fore it. I actually came across it while replying to some guy on my 1963 Fender Bassman thread, he threw the BS flag at me. I expect great things from this guy in the future, kind of like the Wal-Mart/Line6 guy or who ever.


Last week Marty called me John now he's calling me Riff Raff.


----------



## TwinACStacks

NewReligion said:


> That being said, I cried about the Uncle Fester remarks.  I know not to bring my feelings on line with you brutes but I fucked up sorry. LOL! So what about my new Temp Avatar??? Think I'll get slapped fore it. I actually came across it while replying to some guy on my 1963 Fender Bassman thread, he threw the BS flag at me. I expect great things from this guy in the future, kind of like the Wal-Mart/Line6 guy or who ever.
> 
> 
> Last week Marty called me John now he's calling me Riff Raff.



Just as long as he doesn't call you late for Dinner.

Or Shirley.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Richard said you only had to (Maggie Butt Drag) your naked ass across the carpet and sniff your tracks a few times before maggie learned the trick. I don't suppose she wonders why she can't lick her balls too does she Stacks?


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Richard said you only had to (Maggie Butt Drag) your naked ass across the carpet and sniff your tracks a few times before maggie learned the trick. I don't suppose she wonders why she can't lick her balls does she Stacks?



As you can tell from Daves avatar he is a Hair Club member. Makes you look younger Dave. Nice to see you can count to one too.


----------



## NewReligion

longfxukxnhair said:


> As you can tell from Daves avatar he is a Hair Club member. Makes you look younger Dave. Nice to see you can count to one too.



I'm not just a member, I'm the El Presedente. Or was that you Richard that was going to run for office and realized that Hairy Richard might somehow get distorted and manipulated into something else as a Campaign Slogan.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> I'm not just a member, I'm the El Presedente. Or was that you Richard that was going to run for office and realized that Hairy Richard might somehow get distorted and manipulated into something else as a Campaign Slogan.



(slight accent) I did not have sex with that chimp. Cigar anyone?


----------



## NewReligion

That's not what she said.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> That's not what she said.



Thats not her. Mine was wearing a blue dress.


----------



## NewReligion

Here is your Monkey.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> Here is your Monkey.



LOL
Thats not a monkey. Thats a hog. You gotta brush that hair out of your eyes.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

was that Monica BlewBillski?


----------



## MartyStrat54

Bill Clinton would be all over that. Sort of looks like Monica too.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Buggs.Crosby said:


> was that Monica BlewBillski?



Yep. I hear she orgasm's donuts and thats why he liked her.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Damn Buggs, how's that for cross mojo pollination?


----------



## TwinACStacks

NewReligion said:


> Richard said you only had to (Maggie Butt Drag) your naked ass across the carpet and sniff your tracks a few times before maggie learned the trick. I don't suppose she wonders why she can't lick her balls too does she Stacks?



 I'm not as flexible as I used to be when I was younger....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair said:


> Yep. I hear she orgasm's donuts and thats why he liked her.



 Can I get a coffee wit' that?

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> Can I get a coffee wit' that?
> 
> TWIN



That comes from the tap. Poop chute is what we call it.


----------



## NewReligion

I want to be just like Twin when I grow up.


----------



## MartyStrat54

You'll need a pair of slip on bull shitter's boots.


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> You'll need a pair of slip on bull shitter's boots.



Hey Marty, I put my boots on!


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> I want to be just like Twin when I grow up.



OMG!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

NewReligion said:


> Hey Marty, I put my boots on!



:...Fucking Great!


----------



## eljeffebrown

Buggs isn't a blackhawks fan now!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Sorry Jeff....my colors never run
Jeff is not only a founder of "Douchebags For Life".....he is also a client


----------



## longfxukxnhair

ElJeff confided in me he has a typo in his name. He meant for his name to be ElfJeff.


----------



## Procter2812

longhair has short hair. SIMPLE

sorry couldnt think of one :L

ohh the 6100 sucks ass, especially longhairs'


----------



## NewReligion

Procter has a Target Tatooed on his ass cheek that says Sex Pistols Number One Fan.

Sorry Procter.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Procter2812 said:


> longhair has short hair. SIMPLE
> 
> sorry couldnt think of one :L
> 
> ohh the 6100 sucks ass, especially longhairs'



Thats so bad its funny.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Okay who put that Face on my body??? In fact Who the Hell is it?

I'll fix Your asses....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Go ahead and Put Your head on here David. Think about the visual....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire himself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
Marty said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told him that the paint and ladders that he might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does he realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "He should. He was standing on the porch."

A short time later, Marty came to the door to collect his money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," Marty answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," Marty added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." 


 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

A little girl walks into New Religion's pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

And David, the shopkeeper, gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TWIN has been sleeping with prostitutes in his area and has come down with 
a STD , way to go TWIN !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes was enjoying a foot long chili dog and then all of a sudden he noticed there was a circus monkey attached at the other end. Getting his composure, he just put more mustard on it.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marty only feels free when he is wearing a dress.


----------



## cptnkrunch

A dress from LFH's closet


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Catnkrunch doesnt just go soft in milk

Sorry, I had to


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes was enjoying a foot long chili dog and then all of a sudden he noticed there was a circus monkey attached at the other end. Getting his composure, he just put more mustard on it.



LMFAO ~!!!!!!!!! I miss this thread !!!!!!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> TWIN has been sleeping with prostitutes in his area and has come down with
> a STD , way to go TWIN !!!



Duh. I went to sleep at a Local STP concert.

Furball....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes was enjoying a foot long chili dog and then all of a sudden he noticed there was a circus monkey attached at the other end. Getting his composure, he just put more mustard on it.



He put more Mustard on the Circus Monkey?

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair said:


> Marty only feels free when he is wearing a dress.



[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fLn9Z1G_LE]YouTube - Cream - I Feel Free (( New STEREO Mix ))[/ame]

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin has a blow up sex doll of Gir and he violates it like a parking meter.


----------



## SamTHorn

Do you want some naked photos of your wife?


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Sam is trying to get out naked pics of his sister. Who is my wife. Thats disgusting.


----------



## cptnkrunch

who was my ex


----------



## TwinACStacks

you too???

 twin


----------



## longfxukxnhair

This thread is headed to Jerry Springer


----------



## TwinACStacks

Whose gonna play the Transvestite??

 TWIN


----------



## SlashLP97

longfxukxnhair wears a wig!


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> Whose gonna play the Transvestite??
> 
> TWIN



I make a pretty hot, tall bitch. (Need to shave my armpits.)


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> He put more Mustard on the Circus Monkey?
> 
> TWIN



I would think that with your command of the English language, you would be able to deduce what the action verb was referring to. 

Hot Tubes put more mustard on the dick of the monkey. Hot Tubes was not eating a chili dog. The clever, well hung monkey was back and taking advantage of Hot Tubes. For whatever reason, Hot Tubes "played along" with the monkey in his car at the Sonic with a station wagon filled with nuns next to him.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Just goes to show you Marty, Hot Tubes REALLY Likes his Mustard.... 

( I need to be Punished)

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Marty has challenged modern science to use Freud's Psychoanalytic Theory to explain why he speaks about Hairy Pits, Well Hung Monkey Dicks, Mustard, Nuns and being a Pretty Hot Tall Bitch.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> I make a pretty hot, tall bitch. (Need to shave my armpits.)



 Great Leg Marty...

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Twin is smitten with Marty's photo and swears that it is just some hairy French Whore named ADELPHE: French form of Latin Adelphia, meaning "born of the same womb; sibling."


----------



## cptnkrunch

NR is smitten with the kittens mitten thats rarley ridden


----------



## Marshall Mann

Cptn Crunch started at the bottom, and it was all down hill from there!


----------



## MartyStrat54

"don't hate me because i'm beautiful!"


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Marty asked Jon to mod his 2203 to sound like an all SS crate


----------



## cptnkrunch

Buggs is really a spammer trying to get marty to buy a wedding dress


----------



## longfxukxnhair

cptnkrunch said:


> Buggs is really a spammer trying to get marty to buy a wedding dress



LMFAO


----------



## MartyStrat54

longfxukxnhair knows that Marty will look damn good in a wedding dress and he's afraid he might get a boner.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marty thinks he looks good in a wedding dress and is afraid I wont get a boner.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Sniff <tear> sniff.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longhair and Marty have been known to "touch" each other....

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Marty asked Jon to mod his 2203 to sound like an all SS crate



Now that's Fricken funny. We're all afraid we won't get a bonner once we see a wedding dress.


----------



## SamTHorn

hawaii vacations​


longfxukxnhair said:


> Sam is trying to get out naked pics of his sister. Who is my wife. Thats disgusting.



Good one, but you seem to forget that she was adopted....


----------



## SamTHorn

TwinACStacks said:


> Longhair and Marty have been known to "touch" each other....
> 
> TWIN



TwinACStacks rules....


..............at sucking!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Sam was sent here as a spy by Wallyfucmartface. He's really a line6 user.

Oh and welcome to the Forum, Sam....

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

SamTHorn said:


> hawaii vacations​
> Good one, but you seem to forget that she was adopted....



I also know she was a virgin. She could run faster than you.


----------



## TwinACStacks

A guy walks in for his interview as a paint-shop foreman.
The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."

Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."

2nd guy walks in for his interview.

The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."

Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."

This guy on the way out says to LongHair, who just happens to be the next guy, "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out."

so LongHair walks in for his interview.

The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"

LongHair looks at the interviewer intently for a few seconds and responds, "Why, you wear contact lenses don't you."

The interviewer says, "That's impressive that you're so observant. How could you tell I wear contact lenses?"

LongHair replies "Because you don't have any fucking ears to hang glasses on." 

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Har-fucking-har.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Do you think any children see this shit?


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN thinks he is a prominent story teller.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty the Punchline is HE GOT THE JOB. Ask him.

 TWIN


----------



## eljeffebrown

Twin is telling the truth about DSL's in his signature!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Jeff is mad that Marshall sold the 900 modeling technology to Line6.....now he is confused on what to play


----------



## eljeffebrown

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Jeff is mad that Marshall sold the 900 modeling technology to Line6.....now he is confused on what to play



Awe that's fucked up right there!


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Jeff is a David Hasselhoff imitator on the weekends.


----------



## MartyStrat54

longfxukxnhair said:


> Jeff is a David Hasselhoff imitator on the weekends.



Long friggin hair is like a Ken doll. He's just "smooth" down there.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

I heard Marty can suitcase a 2 liter bottle of Coke up his ass !! 
You should get into drug smuggling !! LOL !!!


----------



## eljeffebrown

hot tubes is telling lies about my 900 in his signature! THE LIAR!


----------



## TwinACStacks

I have a 2204,2203,2555,6100,DSL,TSL,JVM,1959,1987,JTM45/100 and a JTM45. But my MAIN GIGGING amp is my 900slx....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Twin needs fast medical attention. Once stabilized they can transfer him over to the mental health ward.


----------



## TwinACStacks

It's true, I'm just crazy about that stuff....-Cheech and Chong

Baliff whack his peepee.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty's corset is too tight. It's causing an unsightly bulge.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Those are called hemorrhoids, dude.


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN bottles all his farts. I hear 1974 was a good year. Brings a whole new meaning to "cork sniffing."


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin like good tone that why he plays a DSL !!


----------



## StootMonster

Hot tubes got his name when he accidentally scorched his nipples off in a grossly overheating JCM accident.




But he's much better now.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Stoot was pulled over by the police for riding his bicycle without a seat. While in the police car, he fell in love with the officer's baton.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty is really a drummer at heart !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes fell backwards into the broom closet at his work place. A big smile came on his face. Later that day, the janitor was asking if anyone had seen his little sweeping broom. With much dismay, Tubes returned it the next day. The janitor complained about the smelly brown lard that was all over his broom.

Tubes just smiled...his mind settling on a full sized baseball bat. Oh yeah...That would be killer.

Don't worry Tubes. Dreams do come true.


----------



## BluesRocker

Marty was the furious janitor. He was actually pleased at heart to get his broom back, but after investigating the broom he then had the idea to use the brown lard that was on the broom as lube and proceeded to use it the way Tubes could only dream of.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Ah, the old brown lard trick. When only the best will do.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Blues Rocker got drunk and accidentally walked into a gay bar. You know he actually enjoyed himself. He made many new friends that night; some out in the backseat of their cars.


----------



## BluesRocker

Marty it is supposed to be a lie. Cause getting drunk and accidentally walking into a gay bar had happened to me. Long story. I hope this doesnt come back to haunt me.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

BluesRocker likes to flaws his teeth with oldman ass hairs .....


----------



## MartyStrat54

...and Hot Tubes is glad to provide them.


----------



## StootMonster

Marty is Weezer's biggest fan.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Shootmonster proudly displays his boyscout patch in his avatar ! LOL !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot tubes went into a pet shop looking for a new pet. One of the puppies was all over him licking his hands and face. The storekeeper said, "Looks like she likes you." Hot Tubes said, "I'll take her." 

Once he got home, Hot Tubes proceeded to rub Bologna all over his body again.

The puppy was a female Great Dane. How sick is that?:Ohno:


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Twin like good tone that why he plays a DSL !!



Okay HT, Where's the fucking Punchline?

You see HT, when you set up a joke there is the set-up line and then a punch line. It's so that there is some continuity of thought. Not just a statement of FACT.

:cool2::cool2: TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

StootMonster said:


> Marty is Weezer's biggest fan.



Marty is Weezer's ONLY fan.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> Marty is Weezer's ONLY fan.
> 
> TWIN



Twin is jealous.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longhair is a rabid REO Speedwagon fan. He would be a groupie, but he's a little long-in-the-tooth.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin is still sporting the Keep on Loving You era Kevin Cronin hair helmet.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> Okay HT, Where's the fucking Punchline?
> 
> You see HT, when you set up a joke there is the set-up line and then a punch line. It's so that there is some continuity of thought. Not just a statement of FACT.
> 
> :cool2::cool2: TWIN



Geeee ....thanks for the whole anatomy of a Joke Twin , see the punch line is right there in the joke itself , i will spell it for you OK !! 

D S L !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes is showing off that third grade education again. Look I can count too. 9*0*0.


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Geeee ....thanks for the whole anatomy of a Joke Twin , see the punch line is right there in the joke itself , i will spell it for you OK !!
> 
> D S L !



oh?

Damn fine Super Lead.

I know.

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> oh?
> 
> Damn fine Super Lead.
> 
> I know.
> 
> TWIN



That would be DFSL.
Mom always said you werent smart. She once gave you Cherrios and you said someone took all the other letters from your Alphabets.


----------



## MartyStrat54

So that explains why he counts, 9"O""O." The frickin' Cheerio's. Good thing your mom didn't give him Cocoa Puffs. He would have thought they were rabbit turds.

(He would have still ate them anyways.)


----------



## tonefreak

MartyStrat54 said:


> So that explains why he counts, 9"O""O." The frickin' Cheerio's. Good thing your mom didn't give him Cocoa Puffs. He would have thought they were rabbit turds.
> 
> (He would have still ate them anyways.)



It would have been cheaper for twin's mom to feed him rabbit turds in a brown box rather than cocoa puffs!


----------



## TwinACStacks

*shuffle*

mumble,mumble, She always told me they were Raisins...

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

yum!


----------



## StootMonster

Tonefreak is excited because he spelled the word "Yum" without that annoying red line appearing underneath it.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Dount Yu hait thouse raed lynes?

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Dount Yu hait thouse raed lynes?

Fukng Spaillcheker....

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

twin doesn't know how to use spell checker


----------



## tonefreak

Twin also thinks that the red line means he spelled the word right.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Yu mene itt isin't???

 TWIN


----------



## solarburn

TwinACStacks said:


> Yu mene itt isin't???
> 
> TWIN



TWIN got his answer when he asked if he had a big one...


----------



## StootMonster

Solarburn can't play smoke on the water, it uses too many strings.


----------



## solarburn

StootMonster said:


> Solarburn can't play smoke on the water, it uses too many strings.



SM's right!

Bastid!


----------



## longfxukxnhair

solarburnDSL50 said:


> SM's right!
> 
> Bastid!



lmao
Solar got a 50 watter because it make a great cup of coffee.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Long is hoping his new boss will ask him out to dinner tomorrow......he loves the hair


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Long is hoping his new boss will ask him out to dinner tomorrow......he loves the hair



Buggs is hoping to mend a broken fence with his sheep. Buggs now knows no means no.


----------



## MartyStrat54

LFH thinks all illegal's should be given a free ride and is willing to help pay for it.


----------



## NewReligion

Marty is concidering renouncing his citizenship for free housing and transportation.


----------



## TwinACStacks

New Religions Hair caught on fire.... He says he thought of the idea before Michael Jackson.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

lol

twin actually likes it when people stand on his lawn.


----------



## NewReligion

Twin is still "huked on fonix" and like most of us is thankful for spell check.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

NR is the Mr. Clean of the guitar world !!


----------



## StootMonster

Hot tubes likes women.


----------



## Wycked Lester

LFH's new boss will be happy to learn that his name refers to his ass hair....he dosn't mean to be misleading but longfuxinasshair was already taken.


----------



## NewReligion

Lester fears clowns, bald or with long ass hair.


----------



## tonefreak

NR is a bald clown.


----------



## tonefreak

Thus Lester fears NR.


----------



## NewReligion

ToneFreak wants to change his name to ToneDeaf. Therefore fearing both Wicked Lester & New Religion.


----------



## tonefreak

NewReligion said:


> ToneFreak wants to change his name to ToneDeaf. Therefore fears Wicked Lester.




lol some days I wonder if I'm tone deaf! 



and now a compliment in the form of an insult

NR's recordings suck!


----------



## tonefreak

ps David, I had the stuff you have on your Myspace playing all day... it ROCKS!


----------



## tonefreak

NewReligion said:


> ToneFreak wants to change his name to ToneDeaf. Therefore fearing both Wicked Lester & New Religion.



haha! nice edit job...


----------



## NewReligion

tonefreak said:


> lol some days I wonder if I'm tone deaf!
> 
> 
> 
> and now a compliment in the form of an insult
> 
> NR's recordings suck!



Just Kidding. I opened the bald door long ago and well, the tone deaf thing was just begging to be said.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marty secretly wishes David was Jon.


----------



## tonefreak

NewReligion said:


> Just Kidding. I opened the bald door long ago and well, the tone deaf thing was just begging to be said.



I figured the tone deaf would come out sooner or later! lol


----------



## Wycked Lester

Deaf is really TF's middle name. Tone Deaf Freak. I hear he may be related, by marriage, to Tone Loc.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=387ZDGSKVSg]YouTube - Tone Loc - Wild Thing[/ame]


----------



## MartyStrat54

Wycked Lester dates John 5. (He stole him away from Marilyn Manson.)

The like to change each others eyes out. "That one blue eye looks good on you."


----------



## Wycked Lester

MartyStrat54 said:


> Wycked Lester dates John 5. (He stole him away from Marilyn Manson.)
> 
> The like to change each others eyes out. "That one blue eye looks good on you."



Kiss my ass Marty, that is completely out of line........ I'd never date ANYONE who plays a tele.


----------



## Wycked Lester

um........i take that back.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cbdNOYR1AQ]YouTube - Female guitar player chicken picking on a tele[/ame]


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

WL likes to drink his moms breast milk !! i even grossed myself out with that one ! LOL !


----------



## Wycked Lester

hey, what can i say, I'm still a growin boy. Ma Ma Mamma says milk out of her titty is the best milk in the whole world....and high in protein too.


----------



## Wycked Lester

Hot Tubes name it really Hot Tubs cuz he like to drink the water after everyone in town fuck, suck, and pee in the one at the local spa in his hometown. He just spelled it wrong, and hot bong water was already taken....not that theres anything wrong with that.


----------



## TwinACStacks

WL got a part time job putting wheels on miscarriages....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot Tubes Name was shortened. Back a few years ago he didn't appear for a Court date and a bench warrant was issued. Being a habitual offender he was sentenced to 1-2 Years. Upon arrival at the prison, (much to his delight), he discovered that the inmates were about 99% Black. To which he exclaimed with Glee:
"HOT Damn. Lookit all those Big TUBES!!!" 
And the name just stuck. He became a prison favorite bitch and was summoned for service as: "Hey, Hot Tubes!!"

It was okay it made the time go faster.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

Dang that chick was good!

Twin's cat is the Guiness World Record holder for World's Largest Feline. also for Worlds only Feline rock guitarist.


----------



## tonefreak

and also for only Thumbed Feline.


----------



## IronMaidenNutter

You love penis


----------



## TwinACStacks

Should we tell Iron Maiden that Marshall designed Vintage Moderns for Nancy Boys?

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

tonefreak said:


> and also for only Thumbed Feline.



Kitty wants a Buckethead L.P.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin is getting so old he's taking viagra and prune juice ! 
Now he doesn't know if he's coming or going !!!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

HT is drooling over my NOS Sheepl34's


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Buggs wants to be a sheep for just one night !!! 
He wants to take it in the BAAAAAAACK door !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

And who better to tell us about the many ways to bang a sheep than the old sheepster fucker himself...Hot Tubes. 

He once had eight sheep living with him in his apartment. His mother complained and he made her move out.

All the little boys chased girls, but not Tubes the grand sheepster. He found his calling a long time ago. 

He got expelled from high school for trying to bring his favorite sheep to the prom. He didn't care. He just loaded her up in the car and headed to the country for a little sheepy fun.


----------



## Wycked Lester

tonefreak said:


> Dang that chick was good!



yea, there is just "somthing" about a chick that can jam ....maybe I should start a thread......It may not be as hot as noobs and boobs, but close.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Wycked Lester said:


> yea, there is just "somthing" about a chick that can jam ....maybe I should start a thread......It may not be as hot as noobs and boobs, but close.



I think we already posted all the hot guitar chicks and models posing with guitars...then we ran out. It is actually harder to find non-nude models than nude models. However, we do push the limits sometimes for fun.


----------



## Wycked Lester

MartyStrat54 said:


> I think we already posted all the hot guitar chicks and models posing with guitars...then we ran out. It is actually harder to find non-nude models than nude models. However, we do push the limits sometimes for fun.



no, im talking about videos of hot chicks actually playing. Pictures of hot chicks holding guitars are cool and all but one actually playing makes me ............opps.....uh, oh,...........ummm......i gotta go.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty must have got up on the wrong side of the cage this morning !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

You ought to know. You stuck me in there with your sheep last night. Do you remember crawling on top of me you sick fuck?


----------



## Marshall Mann

Marty couldnt find a date in the Army, so he tried putting on a dress..

Sorry Marty, could hold back any more!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Did you see how good I looked? In the right places I could have made good money. 6 foot 3 hot dude, err ah chick for all night action. Call now!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall can't stop fantasizing over how good Marty looked dressed up as a hot chick.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> Did you see how good I looked? In the right places I could have made good money. 6 foot 3 hot dude, err ah chick for all night action. Call now!



....except for the hairy arm pits!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yeah that sort of gives it away. I posted the pics again for you over at the NooBs and BooBs thread.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Yep, I saw that! 

I hope none of the other guys are scrolling through gumming their keyboards and stumble on those picks Marty...might be a bit of a shock!


----------



## MartyStrat54

There was a time when I thrived on shocking people. For Chriss Sakes, I was in a rock band. I think I was a lot like Bon Scott, but I didn't die young.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> I make a pretty hot, tall bitch. (Need to shave my armpits.)



Greetings Earthlings... great, this thread has picked up.

The above photo taken at the back of the Jethro Tull Tour bus circa 1988.... now thats weird... a Jethro Tull groupie... Marty I am shocked.

My God Marty you make a fine woman. 
I can hardly move from my desk with my well proportioned boner.... Call me 0800 Circus Monkey121....
(I have a generator and terminals ready for your need to shock):Ohno::Ohno::Ohno::Ohno::Ohno:


----------



## TwinACStacks

*"And with you there to help me I probably will..."*

(Jethro Tull Humor)

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

"TwinACStacks" is actually a reference to the 2 ac units on the side of his house.

Twin doesn't actually own an amp. Just an old Harmony guitar from the Sears & Robuck catalog from when he was a kid.


----------



## j2112c

StootMonster said:


> OK, this is something I pulled from another forum I go to. Hopefully it hasn't been done here, because it's really fun.
> 
> Make up a lie about the person who posted before you.



Do you remember posting this many moons ago?


And Stoots Monster was was born... The Make up a Lie Thread!
What a Thread congrats!


Ok a lie... um... er... StootMonster prides himself in his diverse sexual tastes.. but even he was surprised by his instant erection in the salon on receiving his first crack wax from the Bearded Lady.... he had never had it done with candle before!


----------



## MartyStrat54

j2112c has been gone from the Make Up A Lie thread, because he was involved in a serious relationship with the circus chimp "AND" the strongman. Neither one liked his guitars. Sad to say he has left both of them and moved in with the bearded lady.


----------



## j2112c

Marty has a permanent disability that involves looking up at the ceiling, squinting with his tongue hanging out .... this sad state of affairs came from persistantly staring up at Janice the tightrope walkers camel toes 50 feet above his head.:eek2:

Her leotard needs a public health warning! 







What a shame with the bad neck, you will not be able see her on the screen! (unless you lay on your stomach!!)


----------



## StootMonster

J2112c likes to post videos on youtube of his neighbor's guitar collection!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Stoot needs to watch what he hears. He went to the seafood restaurant and the pretty waitress asked what he wanted? Stoot said, "You got any bearded clams?" "I hear they are delicious."

He was quickly removed by management. Problem was Stoot didn't know what he did that was wrong.


----------



## j2112c

Excellent! 

Stoot has a serious seaweed fetish :eek2:, he eats it :eek2:, he dries it out and smokes it :eek2:..... but the oddest thing is he loves to wrap himself up in wet weed in the bedroom  and proclaim... 
"I am none other than 'Posidon God of the Sea' and you mermaid must submit to my sexual desires, bend over and spread for your master!!":Ohno::Ohno:

Of course his dog does not understand and looks ridiculous with a papier mashe fishtail gaffa taped to its hind legs!!


Ah well... each to their own... so to speak... who are we to judge a God and a consenting Mermaid...


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty went into a restaurant and was in a dilemma about what to order. Well the Waitress came so Marty asked "Do you serve Breakfast Anytime?" The waitress replied, "We sure do Sir". "Good." Marty observed. "I'll have mine during the Renaissance!"

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

You mean Stoot _ISN'T_ Posidon? He lied to my Sea Cucumber....

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> You mean Stoot _ISN'T_ Posidon? He lied to my Sea Cucumber....
> 
> TWIN



Ha ha ha...

God the thread moved along quickly I replied to Stoot and by the time it posted I was 4 posts down!:eek2:
Also weird I was trying to think of a Clam joke, but did not get one... and Marty had the same... nautical bent.
OK Marty what am I thinking of now?.... Wrong.. I was thinking of Kylie!


Sea Cucumber... ha ha,  that is going to repeat at some point... so to speak.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

JC likes to give out free animal shaped vinyl tube warmers...................Proof is in the link
http://www.marshallforum.com/163199-post1.html


----------



## StootMonster

Marty and J2 were sittin' on the front porch watching an old bulldog lick himself in the front yard.

Marty turned to J2 and said, "Dang it, J2 - I wish I could do that"

J2 turned to Marty and said, "Marty... that dog'd bite you!"


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yeah and Buggs like to stick objects into their orifices. 

"What have you stuck in that orifice besides a valve?"


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well it's only fitting that Stoot was the 1,000th poster. I tried, but he beat me by 35 seconds. Good going and here's to a 1,000 more.


----------



## MartyStrat54

j2112c said:


> OK Marty what am I thinking of now?.... Wrong.. I was thinking of Kylie!



You're always thinking of Kylie. That or one of them fancy upland sheep.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Martystrat once got a try out for the Village People , but was busy getting his ass stretched buy the Indian and was too late for the audition !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yeah...he had a big totem pole.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes is the secret mother of this woman who is giving instructions to a stuffed bear on how to treat j2112c later that night. (The bear will get stuffed some more.)


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hot Tubes is the secret mother of this woman who is giving instructions to a stuffed bear on how to treat j2112c later that night. (The bear will get stuffed some more.)



OMG that is it!!
Kylie is in to animal toys too! What a woman!
(OK I will settle for the lookalike from K Mart)...

Hey Buggs the inflatable sheep turned out well! Did it come with the suspenders or did you er.. 'add' them in? (I promised you would get an unopened and unused sheep... I did not even look before I sent it out....) I wonder if I can get a nurse sheep...? Or a dominatrix sheep!

Well done Stoot on a 1000+ post thread!


----------



## TwinACStacks

A women was pregnant with triplets.

One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.

She goes to the doctor who tells her her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out.

So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl named Kylie, runs out of the bathroom and says "MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!" So the mother tells her the story.

The next day the second daughter, Jeanie, comes out and says the same thing, "MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHOOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!"

On the third day the son, named j2112c, comes out and says "MOM, MOM!" she goes "Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?" j2112c replies: "No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!" 

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

TwinAC is good at telling jokes.


----------



## TwinACStacks

StootMonster said:


> TwinAC is good at telling jokes.



That's a lie......

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot has been furiously googling "Applications for a Sea Cucumber" for the past 12 hours....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN is the only one that knows where you can stick a sea cucumber.


----------



## StootMonster

Marty is a sea cucumber


----------



## TwinACStacks

"Like That? I got your Sea Cucumber RIGHT HERE bitch!!!"







 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Twin had a sex change operation so that he could go snorkeling with J2112C, the fireman. JC knew that Twin had made it with the circus chimp, Bearded Lady and Strongman. JC wondered if he was "big" enough for Twin? He got his answer when Twin got all excited about seeing the huge "cucumber" pressed up against his crotch. Right then JC's heart sank. It was obvious that Twin had a lot of experience with the "big boys." JC swam back to shore with his small shrimp in hand.

In the meantime, Twin was bringing a whole new meaning to "stuffed cucumber."


----------



## TwinACStacks

You outta see My Cabbage Rolls.....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

They make a special Exciter version of the Sea Cucumber which is Marty, Shelly, and Kylie's favorite:






It's ribbed for THEIR pleasure...

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> They make a special Exciter version of the Sea Cucumber which is Marty, Shelly, and Kylie's favorite:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It's ribbed for THEIR pleasure...
> 
> TWIN



ha ha ha 

Bit on the small side though?..



Did you know....? According to National Geographic:

"When threatened, some sea cucumbers discharge sticky threads to ensnare their enemies. Others can mutilate their own bodies as a defense mechanism. They violently contract their muscles and jettison some of their internal organs out of their anus. The missing body parts are quickly regenerated."


Which body part would you jettison? The brain? A kidney perhaps?
Imagine being scared by a movie, adrealine kicks in and you s**t a kidney into your pants?


----------



## StootMonster

StootMonster loves hair metal bands!

(can I make up a lie about myself?)


----------



## j2112c

Stoot now stop it!!

Didn't mom tell you not to play with yourself.
If you are going to be abused, don't abuse yourself... get someone else to do it... here I will help you out:


StootMonster is the Cookie Monsters half brother and has a homoerotic relationship with Oscar the Grouch in his Trash Can!

"Come On Over Big Boy! I gotta A Rat Sandwich For Dinner"


----------



## MartyStrat54

J2112c got his knack for making up children's characters from banging Mother Goose for six years. I think there was a law that covered that. She was unable to lay eggs anymore after JC used an all natural "French tickler" on poor Mother Goose made from an Alantic sea cucumber. It was later discovered that the tickler was attached to something rather small, as the insertion cavity was only two inches deep.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> the insertion cavity was only two inches deep.



No waaaayyyyy!

You must have lost count on the ruler....


Lets Count togezer.... Von! Doo! tree! four! FivE HAHAHAHAHA!!! (Crack of Thunder) I love to count!! HAHAHAHA!
Six! SEVEN INCHES! HAHAHAH!!!






Lucky for the count in these troubled economic times he has managed to get an endorsement from Arm and Hammer Toothpaste! Clever little Count! 


Marty is the agent for all the muppets, but only Miss Piggy needed to interview on Martys couch! She said: 
"If I let you do this, will you really get me an endorsement for Wrestlers Hot Dogs!?"

Sure said Marty... so she got dressed in a sheepskin for him and bleated as best a pig can under the circumstances!


----------



## j2112c

"Marty... remember your promise to me.... not K Mart.... only top quality Wrestler Premium Hot Dogs endorsement...."

See you later says a Sultry Piggy... a little flushed from wearing the sheepskin....


----------



## longfxukxnhair

j2112c said:


> "Marty... remember your promise to me.... not K Mart.... only top quality Wrestler Premium Hot Dogs endorsement...."
> 
> See you later says a Sultry Piggy... a little flushed from wearing the sheepskin....





Fucking burn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## cptnkrunch

LFH thinks its cinco de mayo


----------



## MartyStrat54

LFHair is really mad at Marty. There was a possibility that a three-way with Miss Piggy could have went down. LFHair was hot with desire for the pork tenderloin. He wanted so bad to fry his bacon deep inside Miss Piggy. 

Instead, Marty had Miss Piggy all to himself. He got her to even dress up as a sheep while they did it. LFHair decided to show up Marty. He spent the night with Kermit the Frog. Just like the deranged zoo chimp, LFHair opened Kermit's mouth and skewered him with his massive three-inch shish kabob. Kermit thought LFHair was flossing his teeth.

LFHair took camera phone pictures and IM them to Marty in an attempt to piss him off. Marty just snickered, because he got the pig and the pig was the prize.


----------



## MartyStrat54

cptnkrunch said:


> LFH thinks its cinco de mayo



That would probably be the last holiday the LFH is thinking of.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Marty's strat is made by Johnson


----------



## j2112c

I think that is one of your best... pork tenderloin, fry his bacon....shish Kabab and a cracking ending...



MartyStrat54 said:


> Marty just snickered, because he got the pig and the pig was the prize.



Cracker!



LFH loves his Kermit Frogs, they only last one go and then he chucks their limp bodies in to a pile in his bedroom.... 

...the pile is substantial now and along with 200 Kermits you occassionally see a pop star or two discarded along the way...

Here is the pile with a discarded Lady Gaga
I bet she was freaky!


----------



## TwinACStacks

As Marty and LH decided to spend their holiday together, it became a little touch and Go on the BBQ, as those ever-expanding Ballparks created quite a bit of Sexual tension there. Finally as the Fireworks got off to a Start they were found in a Dark corner of the Yard "celebrating" the holiday. Marty, dressed in a Rubber Horsie Face was busy running over LH's feet with a 20 inch Bicycle tire while LH, dressed head to toe in Tin Foil, (which was pasted to his body with a thin layer of Hellman's), sang the Star Spangled Banner.

It was a Nice finish to a Patriotic Holiday. They were Both "saluting" at the conclusion of LH's rendition of Our National Anthem.

The circus monkey had to be put in restraints. 

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin loves nature, in spite of what it did to him


----------



## j2112c

LFH is massively overweight!

...Statler and Waldorf...








Waldorf: "Don't know Statler... but boy is longfxukxnhair a big, slippery whale, what a block of lard, what a fat kid..."

Statler 'Boy thats harsh Wal... you don't sugar coat it do ya?'

Waldorf: "Why? Will he eat that too!!"

Statler: "HAHAHAHAHH!"
Waldorf: "HAHAHAHAHA!"


----------



## longfxukxnhair

John wanted his screen name to be j812c. But he couldnt spell it.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longhair had to put the circus monkey under lock and key because the little simian was outraged by his liberal use of Mayonnaise as the adhesive.

The Monkey, although he is not watching his weight, is an avid supporter of Miracle Whip Lite....

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

Twin loves nothing more than dressing up with his buddies - his favoured outfit being the Cookie monster.... his mates are a little worried about him.


----------



## TwinACStacks

j2112c said:


> Twin loves nothing more than dressing up with his buddies - his favoured outfit being the Cookie monster.... his mates are a little worried about him.



 And this coming from a resident of a Country that gave us Tom Jones....

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

"It's Not Unusual"

It's not unusual to be loved by anyone
It's not unusual to have fun with anyone... 

According to Tom! 

He prefers a Grover suit if has a choice.


----------



## StootMonster

You guys are all well balanced, mentally sufficient individuals.


----------



## j2112c

StootMonster said:


> You guys are all well balanced, mentally sufficient individuals.



Great then you don't mind if I move in with you!!!?


----------



## TwinACStacks

Me too...






 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

The Picture Marty doesn't want you to see:






 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> Me too...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TWIN



 Excellent!!
Don't tell me.... StootMonster lives on Sesame Street!


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> The Picture Marty doesn't want you to see:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TWIN





OMG, that is fugging ugly. Is that one of the sea cucumber's discharged body parts? Well in Vegas it could have a dick...a small one. I'd rather fuck the muppet.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty, I'd recognize those legs anywhere...

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Twin followed Marty as he did several USO shows. Twin was amazed at Marty's transformation into Misty Blew. Finally, after a big USO show, Twin caught up with "Misty" on the way to "her" dressing room. When "Misty" said, "How may I help you?" Twin unloaded in his pants. "Misty" saw the wet spot and pointed to the Men's room. 

"Misty" replied, "I'm sorry that your night has ended so quickly." "Maybe some other time...yes?"

Twin cried out in disbelief. He went out to his car and frantically searched for his "All Natural Male Enhancement Penis Pump." Once it was located, he furiously pumped on the device. It wasn't working. Twin then remembered he had used it last on a stallion in a pasture. Smiling, he forgot about Misty and thoughts of a bucking young stallion filled his head.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> Marty, I'd recognize those legs anywhere...
> 
> TWIN



Marty is that you or are you riding a chicken !!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

My God that Stallion was hung....Only a close second to the circus monkey.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

You ought to know. If I recall correctly, you've been fucked by all of my circus friends.


----------



## TwinACStacks

The bearded Lady tickles....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty has the hots for the Frog-Boy, ever since he found out his butt-hole was water tight.

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

TwinAC knows which amphibians have water tight anuses.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Stoot got the list from Twin and is busy collecting his "water tight" pets. 

Bath time is going to be fun again. Yea!


----------



## StootMonster

I'm too tall for bathtubs, bro.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well good grief, I'm 6'3". How tall are you 6'6"?

I still think you would get in the tub if you had the right play time pet.


----------



## ToddOwnz

. . . LOL


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot, A little Mayonnaise, a Shoe Horn and You can slide right in...

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> Stoot, A little Mayonnaise, a Shoe Horn and You can slide right in...
> 
> TWIN



Yeah and TWIN would just love you if you did him like that. He's been busy doing anal exercises so that he has a nice tight waterproof AZZ.

Oh and he will bring a large bun to go with the meat and mayo.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty's bringing Binoculars and Coleslaw....

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

Twins new avatar shows the true extent of his eating disorder as he sneaks to the bathroom at night to throw up his nightly milk and cookies!

Bulimia - what a drag....


----------



## StootMonster

J2D2 wishes he had a milk and cookies costume.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Why am I thinking of a nice Pork Loin Roast?

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> Why am I thinking of a nice Pork Loin Roast?
> 
> TWIN




You have changed your avatar again, do you bore easily, need to keep changing id on the forum to avoid stalkers or are you schizoid? (from skeletons to rabbits - waht is going on in there?!)


----------



## TwinACStacks

ADHD. The Rabbit says it all...

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> ADHD. The Rabbit says it all...
> 
> TWIN



 I just read that!


----------



## MartyStrat54

John C is happy for his pal TWIN. The two of them just got back from a city park. They were amazed at all the large animals at the park. TWIN got all hot for a female German Shepard. John spied a real prize, a large Rhodesian Ridgeback. Oh, there were some cute little dogs too, but both of them had just face fucked a pair of frogs, so that didn't do too much for them. What was cool was that Oscar Mayer had sent them a bottle of, "liquid bologna." They found out it worked great in a spray bottle. Why just last week they both got the licking of their lives by a pair of pink French poodles. Of course the owner threatened to call the police if they didn't pull their pants up.

Anyway, it was time to hit the park again and see what sort of action they could kick up. TWIN was heard asking John C about the effects of the banana scent from a nearby car wash? John C told TWIN they would find out soon enough as a trip to the zoo was scheduled for next week. Stay tuned to see what sort of whacky trouble these two love birds get into.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Marty was hoping Jon would have modded his amps into DSHell's


----------



## j2112c

Oh Christ... I googled images - sex monkey... to reply to Martys post... I sincerely wish I hadn't....


----------



## NewReligion

j2112c said:


> Oh Christ... I googled images - sex monkey... to reply to Martys post... I sincerely wish I hadn't....



LMAO!! The first image about killed me. However I'm glad I googled it, now I have a current image of Marty. I think I prefer Marty in a dress instead of on his back in that position etc.. etc...  JK.

David


----------



## TwinACStacks

Alas, as we tune in to Marty, Heartbroken as he was unable to accompany Twin and John C to the Dog park. He had his mindseye on a big wet one from Millie the Mastiff ever since the last outing, and was feeling rather Lucky today. So now here is Marty Rubbing the Oil from a Tuna can on his member and sticking it in his aquarium full of Kissing Gouramis singing "Here fishy, fishy, fishy, fishies". Meanwhile, the Circus Monkey is sneaking up on Marty from behind, with a Fishnet in his hand and a Twinkle in his eye.....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Someone has a recipe book on "semen based" deserts?

Is there one in regard to a full woman's orgasm on a bowl of jello? Then you put the cream whip on top and it is ready to serve.

You know, with each passing day I am slowly starting to understand how a zoo chimp could get a frog to perform oral sex.

The chimp had Internet service.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty !! i didn't know you became an author !
How long did it take you & your boy friends to cum up with that ????


Seman Deserts .........LOL !! only you Marty !!!!!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

im trying to figure out who gave the Moose loose poops......wonder if it was written by a Catholic priest


----------



## MartyStrat54

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Marty !! i didn't know you became an author !
> How long did it take you & your boy friends to cum up with that ????
> 
> 
> Seman Deserts .........LOL !! only you Marty !!!!!



Damn I see you read my book and tried some of my recipes. I figured that the circus chimp was good for a tall glass full of monkey jizz. What recipe did you use it on? What's that? "Cum Of Sum Young Guy." Oh, a Chinese desert. Way to go, Tubes. Way to go.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Damn I see you read my book and tried some of my recipes. I figured that the circus chimp was good for a tall glass full of monkey jizz. What recipe did you use it on? What's that? "Cum Of Sum Young Guy." Oh, a Chinese desert. Way to go, Tubes. Way to go.





Marty and his merry band of semen sippers unite for volume 2 !!

Its going to be called " let the cum fly " !


----------



## j2112c

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Marty and his merry band of semen sippers unite for volume 2 !!
> 
> Its going to be called " let the cum fly " !



Or Cum Too


----------



## TwinACStacks

or,

cum 2 Papa...

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

How do you follow a stick man with a wiggling wienie?

Give me something I can work with here.

I'll try and get it going. 

Marty was an alter boy back in the early to mid 60's.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> How do you follow a stick man with a wiggling wienie?



With a Short Haired Pointer?

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

I've seen Tubes backed up against that several times. He loves wood. He can make a tree sap like crazy.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

TwinACStacks said:


>




and here we have a ever so rare.....never before photographed Gibson woodpecker in action in action........always looking for choice cuts!.....just look at that left arm flapping.....so fast it's just a blur!!!!!


----------



## NewReligion

Finally a Gibson Dick Dale Model.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

David's maiden name is Alisa Surkis


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs' favorite show is Mister Ed and still hopes to this day that there will be a spin off of the Adams Family called Uncle Fester.


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs too has filed suit against Jimmy Page claiming that Mr. Page has stolen the title of the last Zep album from his personal moto. "In through My Outdoor".  Sorry Buggs. JK


----------



## MartyStrat54

Dave (NR) was the guitar tech for Jimmy Page on the last tour. Part of his duties was to assist Jimmy into his adult diapers. He was also needed in the bathroom to help Jimmy hit the toilet. This involved aiming Jimmy's violin bow so that it was making a splash. Dave is a very "hands on" kind of guy and was able to handle the various specialty jobs that occurred. He is looking forward to the Mick Jagger/Keith Richards tour. He'll need his rubber gloves for that one.


----------



## StootMonster

Marty gets all his jokes from "Humor for Idiots"


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Shoot wants to be that witty , but falls short !


----------



## NewReligion

Tubes is pissed that Marty & I are reporting all of the Counterfeit Les Pauls on Ebay that are made out of the Giant Redwood Penis Tree. He claims they take Guitar Porn to a new level.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

NR & Marty fall short in the manhood dept. ! thats why they fantasize about 
the Penis tree all day long !!


----------



## NewReligion

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> NR & Marty fall short in the manhood dept. ! thats why they fantasize about
> the Penis tree all day long !!



LOL!  Hot Tubes derived his name from what he likes to sit on before he rolls over to go to sleep at night.


----------



## MartyStrat54

That's correct. It is a radio transmitting tube almost eight feet long and 12-inches in diameter. A loose fit for Tubes, but he will just have to make do.


----------



## NewReligion

Only because Zucchini has no musical connotation or value and is trickkiey two spel.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

David sports the same hair style as "wood pecker"


----------



## NewReligion

Richard fancies me as Uncle Fester because he looks and plays guitar like Cousin It. 

What's that you say? Cousin it doesn't play guitar. Neither does Slash. Just kidding.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

David would like us to think he has been in the studio writing and recording new material. Truth is he has been in his study writing a S.O.P for raising and marketing free range chickens.

EDIT: You cant edit your post after the fact. LOL


----------



## NewReligion

Until I realized that a Standard Operating Procedure would not apply to chickens being that they too are bird brains. Instead I have given in to my nature and accomplished the Liberal Rules of Engegement for exterminating the little Free Range bastards.

Now it's off to write the next Led Zeppelin hit with my Counterfeit Les Paul which I refer to as the Wood Pecker.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Twin is so old, when he farts the whole widwest preps for the next dust bowl!

I know a left over, but hey, it was a good one!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall Mann wants a Marshall amp without any knobs and only one input jack and one output jack. He likes things simple. He's a simple kind of guy.


----------



## StootMonster

Marty's former job was as a hooker down on Van Buren St.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Stoot was very keen on were to pick up hookers in Phoenix, AZ. He would go down on a daily basis to pluck a hooker off of the streets. His taste ran to the really fat ones with greasy hair and bright red lipstick. One day, he see's a hot mama and makes a play on her. She is a sheriff's deputy, he's been busted. He is put in the "sex offense" jail cell. While there, he got up and personal with Big Wally. He was now getting what he was giving. Later, he would "meat" five other guys in the cell. 

Stoot thought to himself. From now on I am sticking to inflatable sheep dolls.


----------



## cptnkrunch

Marty likes to dress up in a sheep suit and hang at stoots house


----------



## Wycked Lester

Actually, thats an old photo. Gibson actually bought that tree in 2007 and made some guitars out of it known as the Les Pecker and the Les Pecker Double Cut.
I was very interested in getting one .....but after trying one I determined that, although it had a nice woody tone, it was a little stiff and had no balls.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Wycked Lester said:


> Actually, thats an old photo. Gibson actually bought that tree in 2007 and made some guitars out of it known as the Les Pecker and the Les Pecker Double Cut.
> I was very interested in getting one .....but after trying one I determined that, although it had a nice woody tone, it was a little stiff and had no balls.



Lest wishes he had a Les Pecker Double cut.


----------



## TwinACStacks

cptnkrunch said:


> Marty likes to dress up in a sheep suit and hang at stoots house



He shoots.... HE SCORES!!!!!

priceless.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann said:


> Lest wishes he had a Les Pecker Double HUNG.



There. I fixed it.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Mann dies and goes to hell.

The Devil says to him "Hey Mann we've been waitin for ya!".

Mann smiles and walks with the Devil and the Devil says "I gotta ask you a couple questions, do you like to smoke?" Mann answers "Ya, I love to smoke." The Devil says "Good you'll like Mondays we smoke everything cigarettes, cigars, weed everything."

"Now do you like to drink?" Then Mann says "Of course I love to drink." The Devil replies "Great we drink everything on Tuesdays you will fit in great."

"Do you like to have sex?" Mann says "Hell ya sex is the best." The Devil smiles and replies "We have sex with every type of woman you could think of on Wednesdays."

And the Devil finally says "Now, are you gay?" Mann frowns and answers "NO I'm not gay! And the Devil looks down and finishes "Your gonna hate Thursdays."

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin's favorite day is Thursday


----------



## TwinACStacks

That's because I'm not going to Hell. In Heaven, Thursday is all you can eat Steak,Lobster, and Cheesecake Day!!!!! Then I'm goin' to jam with JIMI!!!!
 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

StootMonster said:


> Twin's favorite day is Thursday



Stoot wishes everyday was Thursday and hopes to start a movement in Hell to make it so, there by changing the spelling of the first day of the week by one letter. Every day will be Manday.


----------



## NewReligion

Twin doesn't care as long as there are Sheep in Heaven. He learned he was attracted to sheep as a child when he tried to count sheep to fall into sleep and only laid there thinking Hillbilly thoughts.


----------



## j2112c

NewReligion said:


> Twin doesn't care as long as there are Sheep in Heaven. He learned he was attracted to sheep as a child when he tried to count sheep to fall into sleep and only laid there thinking Hillbilly thoughts.


----------



## NewReligion

A little Bondage Porn for Twin.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYqPM7cW9_0&feature=related]YouTube - Sheep Video[/ame]


----------



## MartyStrat54

Dave loves to share his sheep porn videos. He has several hundred of them. Although they still excite him, he prefers TWINS videos of the circus chimp playing big daddy. Dave secretly wishes for some chimp stimulation. He gets jealous when TWIN starts describing all of his moments with the chimp. 

Twin always ends the story with, "That is one big banana."


----------



## NewReligion

Marty was banished from Hell for wearing a dress on Manday and was thrown out of Heaven because he has better tone than God. He now haunts Jimmy Page traveling through the Mid East searching for his next plagiarism and studying the Qu'ran (Koran) Hoping that Allah plays Acoustic.


----------



## j2112c




----------



## tonefreak

j2112c said:


> Ok this one is gross and a little close to the limits... but it is on you tube and so it must be PG so here goes.... if it makes you puke I am happy to take it down - you have been warned!
> 
> Here it is:
> 
> Dave has found a solution to the local cats and dogs crapping on is driveway and lawn....
> He bought a secondhand sex gorilla to clean up for him:
> 
> YouTube - Crazy gorilla eating his own poo




that's not that bad--- we were at a zoo in Co Springs, and this gorilla was sticking his finger down his throat, puking into his hand, and eating it. 

over

and over

and over

and over again.
it was SO gross...


----------



## tonefreak

J2112C didn't have a toilet.

so he'd use his back lawn.

Then he got indoor plumbing, and sold the gorilla to Marty.


----------



## j2112c

tonefreak said:


> that's not that bad--- we were at a zoo in Co Springs, and this gorilla was sticking his finger down his throat, puking into his hand, and eating it.
> 
> over
> 
> and over
> 
> and over
> 
> and over again.
> it was SO gross...



Ughh! It made my stomach turn!


----------



## NewReligion

tonefreak said:


> J2112C didn't have a toilet.
> 
> so he'd use his back lawn.
> 
> Then he got indoor plumbing, and sold the gorilla to Marty.



Damn it, that was my shit eating gorilla. Why did John sell it to Marty. Now who will remove the Poo from my driveway? I will get another and name him in your honor. I will call him Sir T-Freak.

And FYI TF. I would rather eat my vomit than Poo!!! LMAO!


----------



## MartyStrat54

I don't know why JC took us down that path, but whatever.

New Religion was walking down the street and he was picked up by some wickedly hot 20 year old chicks. They wanted to party. Well NR suggested an address and they went over to it. It was where the circus chimp lived. The bearded lady was visiting as well. After about an hour, NR was standing all alone in the hallway. The circus chimp was doing the chicks and the bearded lady was in the room assisting. The girls were having the time of their lives.

NR walked out the front door. It was a very long walk back to his house and he didn't have cab fare. 

"Damn monkey!"


----------



## tonefreak

what marty didn't tell us was that the bearded lady is really his sister.


NR was mad that he didn't get a piece of the circus monkey and the bearded lady. he didn't care about the chicks, he just used them as a ride over as he didn't have the cab fare and his car was broken down.



EDIT: Thanks Dave, for naming a monkey after me.

dang it I knew I shouldn't have come in here!


----------



## j2112c

NewReligion said:


> And FYI TF. I would rather eat my vomit than Poo!!! LMAO!




I sincerely hope it never comes to you having to make that choice!





MartyStrat54 said:


> I don't know why JC took us down that path, but whatever.



It was.. wait for it... only toilet humour!
..and thanks to the Sanitary Gorilla the path was clear..



TF took the Gorilla for a walk around the city park, after half an hour of clearing up after the dogs the very public minded Gorrilla thought it was time 'she' sorted this social nuisance once and for all.
She would get to the heart of the problem... and so proceeded to eat two Chihuahuas and a Great Dane.

10 out of 10 for lateral thinking... but it blew TF's chances with the hottie who owned the Great Dane.


----------



## tonefreak

marty was really really mad a j2112c for making his monkey eat the dogs. he loves chihuahuas... he really hadn't even noticed their owner until John pointed her out.


----------



## j2112c




----------



## tonefreak

woohoohoo! that's a good one man! lol

how do you follow something like that!


----------



## tonefreak

John designed the knitting machine AND the pattern.


she bought the yarn from him too.


----------



## MartyStrat54

...and he is letting his daughter play with his dork. Ah, I hope we don't get a visit by Adwex. I don't know where that picture stands? Legal? Yes. Appropriate? I don't have a clue.


----------



## tonefreak

WAIT JUST A MINUTE

I don't have a girl. nor do I have any kids! 

you got the wrong guy john!


----------



## NewReligion

OMFG! I can't stop laughing!!! Photoshop Rules.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Boy this thread took a hard left and I don't know where it will end up.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> I don't know why JC took us down that path, but whatever.





MartyStrat54 said:


> ...and he is letting his daughter play with his dork. Ah, I hope we don't get a visit by Adwex. I don't know where that picture stands? Legal? Yes. Appropriate? I don't have a clue.





MartyStrat54 said:


> Boy this thread took a hard left and I don't know where it will end up.




Marty you made your point.

Legal? Appropriate? Its bloody knitware that's all and fun no more... it is hardly porn... Good Grief!

Frankly I think everyone took it for what it was, a bit of a laugh and no more, looking at the posts.

If you don't think it is appropriate or the gorilla and you think I am out of step with your ideas on the level of the thread, fine.

If you feel it is censorable post, one that will bring storm clouds over the thread... for peace and harmony self moderate we will. 
I will remove it all, to be replaced by the Cookie Monster.

I don't think anyone has a problem with The Cookie Monster do they?
He is knitware and considered by many to be a bit 'blue'


----------



## TwinACStacks

Now that I've gotten rid of that Fucking nuisance...

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> Now that I've gotten rid of that Fucking nuisance...
> 
> TWIN



 oh bless him! How could ya?! 

Obviously a head shot looking at his eyes...


----------



## TwinACStacks

You guys need to Back off a little teasing Marty. As we get older our mind can play tricks on us, especially when we are lonely.

What Marty Sees:






what is really there in actuality:






 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

j2112c said:


> Marty you made your point.
> 
> Legal? Appropriate? Its bloody knitware that's all and fun no more... it is hardly porn... Good Grief!
> 
> Frankly I think everyone took it for what it was, a bit of a laugh and no more, looking at the posts.
> 
> If you don't think it is appropriate or the gorilla and you think I am out of step with your ideas on the level of the thread, fine.
> 
> If you feel it is censorable post, one that will bring storm clouds over the thread... for peace and harmony self moderate we will.
> I will remove it all, to be replaced by the Cookie Monster.
> 
> I don't think anyone has a problem with The Cookie Monster do they?
> He is knitware and considered by many to be a bit 'blue'



Don't get me wrong. Nothing surprises me anymore. It's not a matter of what "I" think should be deemed appropriate. It's what the guys running this forum think, not me. I was thinking outside of what I think and I was trying to view it from the moderator's point of view. 

Remember, it wasn't that long ago that I was basically told to rope it in as my stories, while just words, painted a graphic enough picture that Adwex told me to move in a different direction. I mean I really enjoyed making up those stories and without any intervention, I got pretty far out there. Then I was told to change my course.

I have nothing against you JC. Please don't think I'm angry or weirded out by you, I'm not. As I said, I have seen most everything and it is really, really hard to shock me. I was actually looking out for your best interest. I didn't want you to have to take a bullet, if you know what I mean.


----------



## tonefreak




----------



## NewReligion

*All right, now that we have deemed what is appropriate.* It should also be noted that the Cookie Monster was found dead on Post 1141 at 07:16PM and his likeness should no longer be used in future postings as it causes Post Tramatic Insult and Vissions of Gorilla's and Pink Fuzzy Children with idle hands which are the Devils (John or Marty) Play Ground.

As for T-Freak, I need my Primate Returned ASAP! My Drive is a mess.

Sincerely, Fester Lavey.


----------



## tonefreak

NewReligion said:


> *All right, now that we have deemed what is appropriate.* It should also be noted that the Cookie Monster was found dead on Post 1141 at 07:16PM and his likeness should no longer be used in future postings as it causes Post Tramatic Insult and Vissions of Gorilla's and Pink Fuzzy Children with idle hands which are the Devils (John or Marty) Play Ground.
> 
> As for T-Freak, I need my Primate Returned ASAP!
> 
> Sincerely, Fester Lavey.





that's not cookie monster.

that's his evil twin. fruit monster.

he eats t. freak gorillaz for lunch. 


PS he is a meat-atarian.

PPS. he hates fruit.


----------



## tonefreak

NR wishes he could join the ranks of the devils (john and marty)


----------



## tonefreak

but only because they have the bearded lady among others.


----------



## eljeffebrown

tonefreak is jealous of MY beard! it's EPIC!


----------



## NewReligion

Jeff is growing that fantastic beard in order supply enough hair for both he and I to have the 80's Aqua Net Hair once again.


----------



## tonefreak

NewReligion said:


> Jeff is growing that fantastic beard in order supply enough hair for both he and I to have the 80's Aqua Net Hair once again.



both NR and Eljeffe are jealous that tonefreak can easily grow as much hair as he wants on the top of his head, and does not have to grow it else were, cut it off, and glue it to the top of his head if he wants hair to grow there.


tonefreak on the other hand, is slightly jealous of the rate at which eljeffe grows facial hair.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Actually the mutated hot sheepette girl is looking good. If I can see that instead of Shelly, then I don't need Viagra anymore. I mean come on. An old man will get hard as that redwood dick if he has some little 28 year-old hopping around on his lap. On the other hand, a double dose of Viagra is necessary to get up for the old lady. It has nothing to do with a man's age, as it does with the proper stimulation.

Well anyway. Enough of my open desire to have sex with some sort of mutated sheep girl.

NR has come out with a new sheen in a can for his head and it also works well on a ball sack. It's made out of recycled gorilla droppings.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> Don't get me wrong. Nothing surprises me anymore. It's not a matter of what "I" think should be deemed appropriate. It's what the guys running this forum think, not me. I was thinking outside of what I think and I was trying to view it from the moderator's point of view.
> 
> Remember, it wasn't that long ago that I was basically told to rope it in as my stories, while just words, painted a graphic enough picture that Adwex told me to move in a different direction. I mean I really enjoyed making up those stories and without any intervention, I got pretty far out there. Then I was told to change my course.
> 
> I have nothing against you JC. Please don't think I'm angry or weirded out by you, I'm not. As I said, I have seen most everything and it is really, really hard to shock me. I was actually looking out for your best interest. I didn't want you to have to take a bullet, if you know what I mean.



Ah Marty, that's ok mate I know there is no problem with us. If I came home and found you sleeping with my lovely Clarissa the goat I would pull the covers over you to keep you warm and not disturb you!

By the way... how are you getting on with the knitting?
PM me when you are ready for the second part of knitting pattern for the woman. I know you are looking forward to the best bit - the top!...

I have adjusted the breast measurements as you requested and it can now only be described as HumunGouS! (If I a little more expensive on the wool).
Knitting the second part without a machine will take about 40 hours... but it will be the most pleasurable 40 hours of 2010! 

Anybody else need a pattern let me know, my new catalogue Radical & Extreme Knitwear is out on Friday and includes the very latest new patterns of furry Sailors, furry Dominatrix and a furry Farm Yard animals - please specify if you need machine washable sections...

Trade enquiries welcome.

In the meantime we need to find something to clean up Davids lawn and driveway!


----------



## carnada

j2112c hates vagina


----------



## j2112c

Carnada, is not very dextrous and so cannot properly throw a cross in his knitting.. normally he can blag it... but it showed up like a sore thumb when he tried to knit a nipple for his furry woman suit..... it was flat, off center and looked remarkably like a misplaced belly button.


Twin, looking forward to moving on a page the photo of a shot Cookie is at the top when I log on.. it is disturbing me..
What a sad scene.. bless him he even has cookies all around him! This needs to post on a gore website... 'Cookie dealer shot in Cookie turf war.'


TwinACStacks said:


>


----------



## tonefreak

j2112c is really cookie monster's brother. 


this is why he gets ptsd or whatever whenever he sees that photo.


----------



## cptnkrunch

TF needs our vote to play with himself go to lonelyhearts.com and cast your vote.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

cptnkrunch said:


> TF needs our vote to play with himself go to lonelyhearts.com and cast your vote.



Cptn is hoping the fully open the border and welcome illegals with open arms


----------



## cptnkrunch

Illegals entering the country will be met with open arms and given directions to Buggs pad.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Cptn must have forgot i live on a rifle range


----------



## cptnkrunch

> Cptn must have forgot i live on a rifle range


No....I knew that.


----------



## StootMonster

Captnkrunch is actually the Keebler Elf trying to cross genres.


----------



## Wycked Lester

-


----------



## cptnkrunch

StootMonster said:


> Captnkrunch is actually the Keebler Elf trying to cross genres.


Damn my secrets out.

WL was a stand-in for Chuckie


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Captnkrunch likes the way his "crunch berries" smell after a long hot day at work.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

LH got his hair from Jeffs chin


----------



## StootMonster

Buggs thinks his screen name is reminiscent of Crosby Stills and Nash and Buggs Bunny, but he's done so much LSD his brain is fried.

(may or may not be true)


----------



## NewReligion

Stoot needed Spellcheck for "LSD".


----------



## Marshall Mann

David had to Google LSD to see what it was.


----------



## tonefreak

NR had to google LSD to see what it meant.


----------



## tonefreak

Marshall Mann said:


> David had to Google LSD to see what it was.




DANG IT!
ya beat me to it!


----------



## Marshall Mann

tonefreak said:


> DANG IT!
> ya beat me to it!



HA HA!!!  Thats funny stuff right there!!!

Jinx!


----------



## tonefreak

that one was just hanging there waiting for somebody. it was the most obvious answer!


----------



## Marshall Mann

tonefreak said:


> that one was just hanging there waiting for somebody. it was the most obvious answer!



Great minds work a like (no insult intended there Tone!)


----------



## Marshall Mann

OK, Tone DIDNT have to google LSD to know what it means!


----------



## tonefreak

HEY! that's not a lie!


Marshall Mann googled it just to be sure he knew what it is.


----------



## NewReligion

The night was black and the sky was blue. From around a corner a shit waggon flew. A screach was made, a scream was herd. T-Freak was killed by a flying turd.


----------



## NewReligion

Mann went upstairs to see his kin. He fell into a shit bucket up to his chin. He couldn't swim and he couldn't float. So great big turd went down his throat.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

StootMonster said:


> Buggs thinks his screen name is reminiscent of Crosby Stills and Nash and Buggs Bunny, but he's done so much LSD his brain is fried.
> 
> (may or may not be true)





sadly it is very true......stay away from all that shit including X......you will pay for it later.......Dave wants to rent Jeffs chin wig this weekend for a gig.....he's thinking of a mohawk


----------



## NewReligion

Lol. I'll tape it to my chest and wear some plaid slacks and go as a 70's porn star so I can meet some GILF.


----------



## NewReligion

I asked Buggs if he remembered his first (Edit). He said of course. So I said how did it taste.





Too Far?


----------



## StootMonster

NewReligion said:


> so I can meet some GILF.



The trick is to lie about OTHER people, not yourself.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

NewReligion said:


> I asked Buggs if he remembered his first BJ. He said of course. So I said how did it taste.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Too Far!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i thought you like it deep


----------



## MartyStrat54

NR is afraid that the forum members will find out that he is really Sang Soo, Chinese counterfeit merchant to the stars. He has a boat load of fake Les Pauls to sell and so far his merchandise has been exposed. Maybe Marty Son would take a fake to be quiet? Ah so.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Buggs did the receiving part of the porn movie. "Giant Studs From Hell."


----------



## NewReligion

Marty just called me an Ah So.

I am Sang Soo's brother Hoo Flung Poo.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Better than "Ah Ho."


----------



## NewReligion

Marty just ordered a Slash Wah to go with his Slash Gib, Slash Hat, Slash Marshall, Slash Picks and Slash Viagra which is really Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. Your right. I had to look it up. For some reason it was next to External Occipital Protuberance and Super Cala Fragalistic Expialidoshus. 

Certainly now he can pull off some authentic stolen Jimmy Page Riffs. 

And yes, Marty still has better tone than God. But this does not mean that Slash is God. Don't even start that.


----------



## tonefreak

nobody quite knows what Super Cala Fragalistic Expialidoshus really is.


----------



## NewReligion

tonefreak said:


> nobody quite knows what Super Cala Fragalistic Expialidoshus really is.



If you tried LSD you might. Just ask Syd Barrett. Of course first you must shave your eyebrows as to see things more clearly.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Marty and Dave love the abuse Father Slash forced upon them in "Missionary School"


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Tone is currently licking his green charvel to see if it has any Super Cala Fragalistic Expialidoshus in the paint.....................seems his is a China made USA model


----------



## tonefreak

buggs is jealous of the 6100 turds. which is why he has to mod his dsl to have 5000 channels. 



and he secretly slipped a few diodes in, cause he's jealous of them 900 things.


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs and T-Freak both sing the female moaning part of Rocket Queen when they shower together.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Buggs is currently modding a DSL that will totally waste any tube amp on the planet !!!
Including the 6100 !


LOL !!!!!


----------



## tonefreak

NewReligion said:


> Buggs and T-Freak both sing the female moaning part of Rocket Queen when they shower together.



nice edit.


----------



## tonefreak

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Buggs is currently modding a DSL that will totally waste any tube amp on the planet !!!
> Including the 6100 !
> 
> 
> LOL !!!!!





HT is secretly afraid that buggs DShell will sound better then his beloved 6100(s) when Buggs gets through with it, and that he might just have to go buy a DSL and do the same to it.


----------



## NewReligion

Tubes is adding an extra stage to his Valve State so he too can get the AFD tone.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Tone wished i was adding channels to make his statement true......he hates to lie


----------



## tonefreak

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Tone wished i was adding channels to make his statement true......he hates to lie





buggs is desperatly trying to stop me from letting the cat out of the bag on how many channels he ACTUALLY added.


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs says a prayer and eats our sins daily in athe form of a stick of butter so that we may return to take part in this debauchery. He feels it makes him Identify with the Savior more closely in addition to the fact that Jesus too would play a DSL.


----------



## tonefreak

NewReligion said:


> Buggs says a prayer and eats our sins daily so that we may return to take part in this debauchery. He feels it makes Identify with the savior more closely in addition to the fact that Jesus too would play a DSL, or should that be a LSD?



I'm pretty sure Jesus would play a 1959rr or something of that sort. I think he has no need for 41 channels and 17 knobs to sound awesome on a guitar.



NR uses chinese-fake-marshall-copies.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

and Tone thought he was smart enough to know what adding a "Tone" stack meant


----------



## tonefreak

it means that i get included in the amp.


or a stack of me's do.


buggs really is modding his DSL to be a 6100. it's the only thing DSL-ish about it is the chassis and the head box.


----------



## Marshall Mann

tonefreak said:


> it means that i get included in the amp.
> 
> 
> or a stack of me's do.
> 
> 
> buggs really is modding his DSL to be a 6100. it's the only thing DSL-ish about it is the chassis and the head box.



Only one more channel to go to make that DSL a 6100....

Tone loves Taylor Swift


----------



## TwinACStacks

Buggs.Crosby said:


> and Tone thought he was smart enough to know what adding a "Tone" stack meant



Awwww, C'mon Guys...

Tone is as Smart as the Day is Wide.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

twin isn't actually a werecow.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Yes I am.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

twin doesn't believe that he is 

a werecow.


----------



## TwinACStacks

No really. I am....







 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

twin thinks they should re-make twilight with werecows.


----------



## StootMonster

Tonefreak is the artist of all of these werecow masterpieces.


----------



## tonefreak

StootMonster said:


> Tonefreak is the artist of all of these werecow masterpieces.



stootmonster commissioned the drawing of these werecow masterpieces.


----------



## j2112c

Tone the intrepid Warecow hunter always keps a silver udder-teat sucker in his pants for emergencies!

...dirty man...


----------



## tonefreak

j2112c wishes he could join the ranks of the werecow hunters.


----------



## StootMonster

The only thing tonefreak hunts is his favorite brand of Hair in a Can.


----------



## tonefreak

stootmonster just commissioned some more werecow masterpieces.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Tone secretly downloaded Twins Wercow pick and is staring at his udders.

Wait a minute! HIS udders????? Twin, I think you have something to tell us! Now you are modding cows arent you!


----------



## NewReligion

LOL, Shemale Werecows!


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> LOL, Shemale Werecows!



Leave it to Twin!  Another Tranny mod!


----------



## TwinACStacks

OTIS the Cow with the Microphone IS a BOY.






Have fun explaining this one.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Ms. Swan say "She looka lika man!" 

Otis has no "junk" and is refered to as a Cow, not a Bull. Nor does Otis sport the Horns of the masculine gender. In short Otis is a masculine female.

A herd of cows and two bulls are eating grass out in the pasture.
Suddenly, a great gust of wind comes ripping across the prairie and knocks all the cows to the ground. But, the bulls just sway in the wind and continue eating.
When the wind quiets down, the cows stand up, brush off the dirt, and start eating again.
A bit later, one cow looks up just in time to see a tornado tearing through the pasture fence. The tornado knocks the cows every which way, but the bulls just rock back and forth as they are buffeted.
When the cows get back on their feet and pick the straw out of their hide, they all walk over to the bulls.
One cow says, "Why do we cows get knocked over by wind but you bulls keep standing?"
The two bulls laugh and reply, "Werebulls wobble, but we don't fall down."


----------



## j2112c

NewReligion said:


> The two bulls laugh and reply, "Werebulls wobble, but we don't fall down."




Oh well played

Very nicely and cleverly done David! You are on a roll that is 3 or 4 crackers from you in as many posts... have you changed the medication? 
I would start recording while the stardust is on ya!


----------



## tonefreak

Marshall Mann said:


> Tone secretly downloaded Twins Wercow pick and is staring at his udders.
> 
> Wait a minute! HIS udders????? Twin, I think you have something to tell us! Now you are modding cows arent you!





i TOLD twin before, he has to be a were-bull


but NOOOOO "i have to be a werecow. otis is a cow'


----------



## MartyStrat54

JC is easily impressed by the power of the pen. So much so, he took a writing class. His first story was graded by the professor. The professor made some comments.

He said, "The nun is a noun, not a pronoun." "The verb is running, not cumming." "The knitted animal outfits are handmade, not a handjob." "The girl has a vagina, not a large hairy taco."

"Other than this, your story about the chief of police and his religious girlfriend is shaping up."


----------



## MartyStrat54

I hate fuckin' cows.


----------



## tonefreak

Marty, you've got an arsenal I know, load up some silver bullets! we got us some werecowbull hunting to do!


----------



## tonefreak

marty just joined the confused werecowbull club.

founding member: twin.


----------



## StootMonster

Tonefreak has better things to do than post in the "Make up a lie about the previous poster" thread.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Stoot is a bit of a control freak about who posts on "his" thread.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Cow werebulls? Wow, that is one that I missed. And they already have a club? Oh boy, let me see. Their milk sack is full of human blood. They have hollow horns so they can drain your blood. When butchered, they get $4.99 a pound for hamburger.

Sounds pretty much like an old cow with an ulcer.


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> I hate fuckin' cows.



I never have, but I don't think I would enjoy it either.


----------



## j2112c

[In joke for UK people who grew up on the Magic Roundabout kids program - like Seseme St but it was written on drugs (seriously!)]


Sensai David gives master classes to people from all walks of life on how to pleasure their cow... including Brian the Snail who had been trying to date Ermintrude for eons....

There was however a problem... not even David could resolve.. REACH!







Boing! said Zebedee.


----------



## tonefreak

MartyStrat54 said:


> Cow werebulls? Wow, that is one that I missed. And they already have a club? Oh boy, let me see. Their milk sack is full of human blood. They have hollow horns so they can drain your blood. When butchered, they get $4.99 a pound for hamburger.
> 
> Sounds pretty much like an old cow with an ulcer.




well if your interested, go over to the 6100 thread, and read the last 5 or so pages...
twin is now convinced that he's a werecow. 

we tried to tell him that he had to be a werebull. but he likes werecow better.

j2112c wrote the script for magic roundabout, and he wasn't even on drugs when he did it!


----------



## NewReligion

In truth John wishes he was the American Werecow in London.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> I hate fuckin' cows.



I only take that HALF Personally...... On Full Moons.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

tonefreak said:


> well if your interested, go over to the 6100 thread, and read the last 5 or so pages...twin is now convinced that he's a werecow.
> 
> we tried to tell him that he had to be a werebull. but he likes werecow better.



This is not surprising. A while back TWIN thought he was a drag queen and tried to get a part of my business. He's very stubborn and when he laid out $80 for the Victoria's Secret bra, that really made me boil. I was a drag queen a long time ago. I didn't need some fly by night arsehole to come along and start wearing designer dresses right in front of me. And of course he stole some of my regulars who were looking for some new meat. Those T-shirts that he wore were tacky. "How tight?" "Tight as a frogs pussy...Watertight!" Thank god he eventually got tired of being hammered in the back door. He gave it up and let the circus chimp with the big banana move back in. I guess the chimp is something he can "stick" with.


----------



## MartyStrat54

NewReligion said:


> I never have, but I don't think I would enjoy it either.



Sheep are waaaaay better. I also like a good frog, but they are hard to find.


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> I only take that HALF Personally...... On Full Moons.
> 
> TWIN



TWIN has a problem. His new medicine has turned him into a WERECOW. His ball sack has turned into a milk sack and his penis is growing out the back of the milk sack. This is pretty amazing since he is a WERECOW and not a WEREBULL. It's not a big penis. It's like a larger milk teat.

Anyhow, when the moon is out, he stumbles onto a farm and starts to methodically rape each farm animal. He starts with the chickens. He usually does about six of them. Then the geese. By now he has as lot of yolk on his penis. Then he moves up to the goats and then the sheep. He does about a dozen sheep. For some reason the sheep don't seem to mind. It's like someone has been banging them.

Then he fucks the pigs and there are some nasty ones. Finally, he is ready for his own kind. As he mounts the first cow, his milk sack penis goes soft. Reaching into his bag of tricks, he pulls out a "WERECOW Genuine Milk Sack Penis Pump." He works it rapidly until he maintains an erection. As he mounts the cow again, he goes limp. After three more attempts he gives up. As he sits on the side of the road smoking a cigarette, the cows all come up and console the WERECOW. They tell him that it happens with the bulls and that it shouldn't bother him. Twin the WERECOW gets up and scratches his massive milk crotch. He then realizes that it is not a full moon. He shouldn't even be out right now. Relieved, he squirts milk into a glass and drinks it. It tastes horrible. He then realizes that he has pissed into the glass. With all of these teats it udderly confusing.

Stay tuned when the moon is full and the WERECOW goes back to the pasture to finish some business. There will be some cow patties flying for sure, as the WERECOW finds himself face to face with three, horny bulls.

Oh my!


----------



## j2112c

A good night out on the town...







Leads to this...

Marty leaves them all at the altar... its a commitment thing..








DON'T tailgate or curb crawl a cow...


----------



## MartyStrat54

Jon and TWIN coming back from the "Wedding Chapel" in Las Vegas.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Sandra Bullock tries to get TWIN to leave his new girlfriend.


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN...the WERECOW!


----------



## MartyStrat54

A router is simply magic in my hands.


----------



## MartyStrat54

JC is busy preparing himself for a teat tasting contest. He got a lot of practice on TWIN's massive udder sack. He's learned to taste the teat without sinking his teeth into the flagellant finger of flesh. (Much to TWIN's relief.)

JC hopes that he wins outright as he doesn't want to get involved with a tie breaking "Suck off."

If he keeps his head at the proper angle and his lips moving in harmony with the flesh sack, he should be able to sample 80 to 90 teats.

Let's all "stand behind" JC on this one. That's for sure.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Thank goodness after a hard night at work roaming the stockyards, I can go home to the little woman, My Bessie....






Eat Your Heart out _MONKEY BOY._


 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

I could see TWIN tearing the crotch out of those panties. Of course that's child's play for a WERECOW. 

I'm starting to get frightened over all of this.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> I'm starting to get frightened over all of this.












We are watching you MartySrat54....

watching... 

waiting...


For Gods Sake 54! Stop picking your nose when I am trying freak you out!!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

j2112c said:


>



JC took this anal shot on his last date with my Sheep.......told ya the Bitch was tough


----------



## j2112c

Ok Lads 'Time Out' for Marty, chill out time... 
Anxiety will only last half an hour it's gonna be just fine..
Stoot... Twin... get the crisps and gherkins from the fridge..
Buggs & David grab a few beers...
Tone... er... roll another...

Lets chill out to Sir Bob:


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sonYFxHHvaM]YouTube - Bob Marley - One Love[/ame]

I just love One Love such great sentiments eh?
Nice to hear it.. odd for this thread but hey why not?

"Let's get together an' feel alright"



One Day: Buggs will achieve his ambition and run the Restaurant of his dreams!


----------



## NewReligion

Hey, thanks for the beer John. Much appriciated. 

David


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

no issues with a good bowl and a beer....mind if i throw in some Jagermeister?


----------



## j2112c

Buggs.Crosby said:


> no issues with a good bowl and a beer....mind if i throw in some Jagermeister?



Yeah! Lets get some proper brain damage going!

Last time I had J was in a bar, J dropped into red bull and down the hatch.. WhaaaaT?
I had drunk beer all night no problem, Phew when that hit the blood stream bang!

It was a good night!


Yeah bring it on!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJZYG5qwHHI]YouTube - THE BEST - Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb - PULSE - HD High Definition Widescreen[/ame]


----------



## MM54

Jagerbomb? Good luck surviving that


----------



## TwinACStacks

I be jammin' mon.......

 TWIN


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

i dont like Jagr and Red Bull mixed....but i'm addicted to them separately in a weird way


----------



## TwinACStacks

Oo's got da good ganja, mon?

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Buggs is addicted to his addictions. This makes his life simple and easy to maintain. It's really rather simple.

Monday-Pot
Tuesday-Pot and beer
Wednesday-Pot, beer and Jagermeister
Thursday-Pot, beer, Jagermeister and Red Bull
Friday-Pot, beer, Jagermeister, Red Bull and Oxycotin
Saturday-Pot, beer, Jagermeister, Red Bull, Oxycotin and Seconal
Sunday-Pot, Beer, Jagermeister, Red Bull, Oxycotin, Seconal and Pheno Barbs.


----------



## IbanezMark

MM54 said:


> Jagerbomb? Good luck surviving that



Jagerbombs are awesome. They f*ck you up almost as much as shots of liquid cocaine haha


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MartyStrat54 said:


> Buggs is addicted to his addictions. This makes his life simple and easy to maintain. It's really rather simple.
> 
> Monday-Pot
> Tuesday-Pot and beer
> Wednesday-Pot, beer and Jagermeister
> Thursday-Pot, beer, Jagermeister and Red Bull
> Friday-Pot, beer, Jagermeister, Red Bull and Oxycotin
> Saturday-Pot, beer, Jagermeister, Red Bull, Oxycotin and Seconal
> Sunday-Pot, Beer, Jagermeister, Red Bull, Oxycotin, Seconal and Pheno Barbs.



actually it's Monday thru Friday
8am Lemonade
8:15 Red Bull
11:30 Bowl.....maybe a second Red Bull.......other than that it's homemade ice tea
4pm Bowl
5pm Beer
never before 7 Jagr.............and when i say bowl i mean two hits...i like a buzz but hate being high much less stoned


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Oh....and i'm addicted to Red Bull because of a past Percocet addiction


----------



## MM54

Back on topic...

Buggs is also addicted to knobs from past problems, and thus is adding a ton to his DSL.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MM wished he had an all valve path to feed his tone stack with in the first place


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs went to IHOP and ordered the All You Can Eat Tone Stack.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Dave farted and let out a smiley


----------



## MM54

NR is too afraid of said knobs to lie about Buggs to his face! (I'm not very good at this )


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Dave changed his post thus my previous comment
he also ate a granola bar made with sweet churned Twin udder milk


----------



## NewReligion

Sweet Churned Twin Udder Milk will make anyone fart Smiley Faces all day.

See!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Dave is a Twin infested Fuck


----------



## NewReligion

Perhaps if we call it Sweet Churned Twin "Ubber" Milk we can market it?


----------



## NewReligion

LOL, what exactly is a "Twin infested Fuck"? And don't say Dave, that would be who.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Dave is confused about all the different ways one can fuck himself.

Sweet Churned Twin "Ubber" Milk Sack Fuck, is one that he needs to discipline himself with. He is letting it turn to butter prematurely.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Boy are you guys gonna owe me some residuals when I start marketing TWIN'S UBBER MILK.

mmmmmmmooooooooooo.....

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> Boy are you guys gonna owe me some residuals when I start marketing TWIN'S UBBER MILK.
> mmmmmmmooooooooooo.....
> TWIN




Twin will stand by all the claims he makes for TS Uber Milk (trademarked)

(I can see the Infomercial now targeted at bodybuilders...)

Are you tired of your stack, are you not getting the results you deserve.. are you not yet the Bull of a man you should be?

Well help is at hand....
Scientifically proven to be 110.99 percent better than a leading protien powder and normal milk. Twin Stack Uber Milk



Results at 3 weeks:





Results at 6 weeks:
(Artists impression nobody has gone this far)





Results at 8 weeks:
(small print - prolonged use (over 2 days!) can lead to cardiac arrest, liver, renal and various cancers)


----------



## eljeffebrown

j2112c said:


> Results at 3 weeks:



is that a real human? WTF? even his junk is on steroids for fawks sake! that is stooped looking! 

and, this is really Johns picture!


----------



## NewReligion

That's what happens to you when you carry a Pre 1984 Gibson Les Paul 4 hours a night for twenty years!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Jeff wished he could be that guys flannel loin cloth


----------



## MartyStrat54

Buggs took care of the sweat bucket for the freaky body builder. His sweat would be saved in a glass bottle. For fun, Buggs gave it to a kitten.






Two days later...






(And Buggs has been drinking the sweat with Red Bull.)


----------



## TwinACStacks

j2112c said:


> Twin will stand by all the claims he makes for TS Uber Milk (trademarked)
> 
> (I can see the Infomercial now targeted at bodybuilders...)
> 
> Are you tired of your stack, are you not getting the results you deserve.. are you not yet the Bull of a man you should be?
> 
> Well help is at hand....
> Scientifically proven to be 110.99 percent better than a leading protien powder and normal milk. Twin Stack Uber Milk
> 
> 
> 
> Results at 3 weeks:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Results at 6 weeks:
> (Artists impression nobody has gone this far)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Results at 8 weeks:
> (small print - prolonged use (over 2 days!) can lead to cardiac arrest, liver, renal and various cancers)



WTF? And here I thought Dorian Yates was Freaky....






 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Does that guy think he looks good. I would rather fuck the fat cow girl than be seen (in the drag) with this guy. 

I know that these guys are mentally ill. They see any muscle gain as "beauty." That is really fuckin' sick. I'd like to get some of my friends together and we'd take turns vomiting on him.


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> WTF? And here I thought Dorian Yates was Freaky....
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> TWIN



I think I see a pimple on his ass.


----------



## NewReligion

I think you are looking too closely at his ass.


----------



## TwinACStacks

NO, NR. Pumping Iron will not make your hair grow back....

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

I'd rather look like that guy than taking turns vomiting on someone...

oh yeah wait, a lie - 

MartyStrat54

Marty = Martin
Strat = Stratocaster
54 = Marty's IQ


----------



## cptnkrunch

stoots is trying hard to reach martys IQ level


----------



## MartyStrat54

NewReligion said:


> I think you are looking too closely at his ass.



I knew I had opened a door with that comment. But I also knew it would be you who commented on it first. I still think it's a pimple.


----------



## StootMonster

cptnkrunch said:


> stoots is trying hard to reach martys IQ level



Why is that smiley face blowing smoke into a funny shaped pipe?


----------



## cptnkrunch

> Why is that smiley face blowing smoke into a funny shaped pipe?



Hey...I resemble that remark.


----------



## MartyStrat54

I'm ready to party. That looks good. Probably some shit from Amsterdam.


----------



## NewReligion

" NO, NR. Pumping Iron will not make your hair grow back...."


Twins name is actually derived from the fact he has a twin sister. Her name is Erin but he affectionately calls her Iron because he has a speech impediment.


----------



## MartyStrat54

There's another reason why she is called "IRON."





















While TWIN was eating jelly beans, his sister, ERIN, was down at the gym with the real men.


----------



## NewReligion

I see that Werecows run in the family. What was I thinking?


----------



## MartyStrat54

I'm sorry to inform you, but the WERECOW was shot with a silver bullet and his reign of terror has been brought to a close.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> There's another reason why she is called "IRON."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> While TWIN was eating jelly beans, his sister, ERIN, was down at the gym with the real men.



Hey, isnt that Perry Ferrell from Janes Addiction? Amazing what a sex change and some weight lifting can do....


----------



## eljeffebrown

Mann doesn't yearn quietly in the corner for the "new" Perry Ferrell!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty, My, errrr.... "sister" ERIN is a man....

I knew you'd be attracted to "her". She has a pet Armadillo that will get along well with the Circus Monkey.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Twin just found out that in addition to the multiple Music Infringment Charges our guitar hero Jimmy Page has accrued over the years, he now has borrowed his personal moniker from his childhood hero, Zoro.


*In Truth:*
Here is a simple and rational explanation for Page's symbol. It is nothing to do with Satan or three-headed dogs guarding the entrance to Hades. The symbol is a sigil for the planet Saturn, the ruler of Jimmy Page's astrological sun sign, Capricorn.


----------



## StootMonster

NewReligion thinks he can fool us by prefacing a lie with "Truth".


----------



## TwinACStacks

NewReligion said:


> Twin just found out that in addition to the multiple Music Infringment Charges our guitar hero Jimmy Page has accrued over the years, he now has borrowed his personal moniker from his childhood hero, Zoro.
> 
> 
> *In Truth:*
> Here is a simple and rational explanation for Page's symbol. It is nothing to do with Satan or three-headed dogs guarding the entrance to Hades. The symbol is a sigil for the planet Saturn, the ruler of Jimmy Page's astrological sun sign, Capricorn.



I knew that. Actually the Z symbolizes Saturn while the oso is a direct reference to Mercury. The little tail thing on the Z is a reference to Shelly, the sheep.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Whenever I go to the State Fair, I take TWIN with me. Man can that guy judge the ass on a sheep.


----------



## TwinACStacks

It takes YEARS of practice.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Man in The Box was written as a Tribute to Marty being a member of 4-H. Ironically Marty always dressed as a Shepherd on Halloween and at Christmas opportunities. Later in life during his enlistment in the USAF he dropped the pherd and just dressed as a She. Now he's wishing he too was just an ordinary Werecow.

But you must ask yourself, what are a Shepherd and a Werecow doing hanging out in the 4-H barns at the County Fair. Sampling Goat Cheese? LOL, Go ahead, I asked for it  Come on give me your best Bald Jokes. 

David


----------



## MartyStrat54

If I got a hold of you in the drag, I'd tear you up.


----------



## TwinACStacks

NR That's not baldness. That's a solar collector for a Sex Machine.

Your wife told me you need to plug it in.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

Twin found himself...


----------



## Marshall Mann

tonefreak said:


> Twin found himself...



Damn, I'd hate to think about were he had to look!


----------



## tonefreak

Marshall Mann said:


> Damn, I'd hate to think about were he had to look!




ewwwwwwww


----------



## MartyStrat54

Speaking of trying to find something, Marshall. Are you done with my magnifying glass and tweezers?


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Speaking of trying to find something, Marshall. Are you done with my magnifying glass and tweezers?



He let Tonefreak use them in trade for a cash register and a pair of Kneepads...

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> There's another reason why she is called "IRON."
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> While TWIN was eating jelly beans, his sister, ERIN, was down at the gym with the real men.



Erin Claims she has muscles on her LIPS.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

I promptly lent them to twin, along with a big needle so he could pop all the balloons that lady had embedded in her skin.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I LOVE balloon animals!!!

Here is TONE'S Personal Favorite:






 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

Here's Twin's favorite!


----------



## TwinACStacks

tonefreak said:


> Here's Twin's favorite!



I can live with that.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

I figured as much.


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> I can live with that.
> 
> TWIN



Has she got a sister?
If so I'll take one too.


----------



## TwinACStacks

j2112c, He's pretty good at making those isn't he? Just hold on a Minute Tone can make you another one. It's Obviously not his first BLOW up JOB....

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

TwinACStacks said:


> j2112c, He's pretty good at making those isn't he? Just hold on a Minute Tone can make you another one. It's Obviously not his first BLOW up JOB....
> 
> TWIN



Twin is speaking from first HAND experience.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot has a 4th leg. And it's short too....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN enjoys measuring "legs." Especially the "short" ones.


----------



## NewReligion

StootMonster said:


> Twin is speaking from first HAND experience.



LOL. First Hand or "Fist Hand".

Marty found this Letter to the Editor that Twin intended to send but never did. It explains the entire issue of Werecow and Udders.

"An Open Letter to People Thinking of Removing Their Superfluous Nipple 
Dear Concerned Triple/Multi Nipplers,

I've been getting comments on the Marshall Forum from people (mostly 14-year-olds, for some reason) with three or more nipples who hate them and want to get them cut off. (Without their mothers finding out, natch.)

As a male, maybe I look on it a little differently, but I've always found my extra nipples interesting and different, which is a good thing.

If you're a girl, and you're dealing with that whole female-body-image thing, then I'm reluctant to offer advice, because it's out of my element... but here goes:

Plenty of women have three nipples too (check out the archives of this Forum -- guitarist, models, dj's, actresses, pop stars, executed queens...) and trust me, what seems monumentally important at 14 will become more and more accepted as you get older.

Besides, isn't it nice to have a quick and easy way to weed shallow assholes out of your potential dating pool? (NR)

After all, if someone can't deal with your extra nipples, how are they going to deal with the rest of your unique personality? And if they're only interested in your blemish-free perfect body, do you really think they're worth your time?

In short, relax. Get used to your superfluous nipples and learn to love them. Find out what special powers they give you. Mine alerts me when I'm in impending danger, or when the ice cream truck is getting nearer.

I'll never advocate going to a dermatologist to get them cut off, but I hear it's quick and easy. Of course, so is going to the tattoo parlor and getting a third eye stuck in the middle of your forehead. Whatever floats your boat.

Love, 
Twin "


NR


----------



## TwinACStacks

What do you do if You have Eight? You Bitch.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

TwinACStacks said:


> What do you do if You have Eight? You Bitch.
> 
> TWIN



Start a Daycare? LOL, that was wrong wasn't it?


----------



## MartyStrat54

No, not if you're TWIN. I know it's against the law to have minors feeding on multiple nipples, but that's never bothered TWIN.


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> No, not if you're TWIN. I know it's against the law to have minors feeding on multiple nipples, but that's never bothered TWIN.



So what you are saying is that Twin is the real original OctoMom and stands to gain a lot of money from this woman and her litter? I believe she was bitten (or poked) by a Werecow.

LOL, I bet you'd fall in. Then again, judging from those lips on her face she may have given birth orally.


----------



## MartyStrat54

You could start a whole new thread about that gold digging bitch.

And BTW, those lips were altered when she tried to look like Angelina Jolie.


----------



## StootMonster

HEY STOP POLLUTIN' MY THREAD!!!


LOL


Octomom plays through a DSL


----------



## TwinACStacks

StootMonster said:


> HEY STOP POLLUTIN' MY THREAD!!!
> 
> 
> LOL
> 
> 
> Octomom plays through a DSL



*NO*. She became Octomom BECAUSE of a DSL player.... Those lips are great....

Tee, hee, hee...

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

NewReligion said:


> So what you are saying is that Twin is the real original OctoMom and stands to gain a lot of money from this woman and her litter? I believe she was bitten (or poked) by a Werecow.
> 
> LOL, I bet you'd fall in. Then again, judging from those lips on her face she may have given birth orally.



I am so never coming back to this thread

Fucking Yuk!!!!!!!!!

That picture is a new form of birth control.


----------



## NewReligion

LOL! Moo, Moo, Moo.


----------



## Marshall Mann

God that is wrong in so many ways...

Lets get back on track here...

What is the definition of a minor second?
Twin and LH playing in unision.


----------



## NewReligion

Mann was shocked to learn about the relative minor. He thought for sure someone was talking about his little cousin.


----------



## tonefreak

david is shaking in terror. afraid that the werecow will do to him what it did to the octo*friggengross*mom


----------



## NewReligion

T-Freak is asking for help to repair the bad wiring job on OctoMoms Epi Les Paul. He has forgtten that he invented the Wiggle Test.


----------



## tonefreak

LOL!

NR wishes that he could do the wiggle test on octomom.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I have Photos of NR licking his computer monitor....


ooooooooohhh baby, ooooooooohhh baby, he was whispering.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

I have Photos of NR licking his computer monitor....


ooooooooohhh baby, ooooooooohhh baby, he was whispering.

TWIN 
__________________


LMAO! 

Twin is Counterfeiting X-Large Justin Beiber T-Shirts in order to atract a captive audience for his week end gigs


----------



## tonefreak

ewwwwwww






ewwwww


----------



## tonefreak

twin is obsessed with that picture. those pics he claims he has of david? 

those are really pics his wifee took of him licking his moniter...


----------



## MartyStrat54

This is way out of line. Next thing you know, you'll be posting pictures of Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. Double fuckin' yuck.


----------



## TwinACStacks

It HAD to be done.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Tonefreak has discovered TONE. He's going to trade his DSL for a 900....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> It HAD to be done.
> 
> TWIN



Somehow TWIN, I knew you would post the picture up (and they aren't that good looking.)

TWIN has a stash of pictures of girls he has dreamed of ever since they were nine. He would love to connect all the dots on Lindsay's boobs with a ball point pen. He would love to go shopping with Paris and maybe do a porno tape with Britney and Paris. Oh what the hell...all three of them. It's okay TWIN, they are all legal now. You can put the bag of candy away.


----------



## j2112c

Marty came up with a great plan to entice the 'little girls' into his van...he left a trail of candy gobstoppers and blocks Hershey leading to the open side door of his van. 

Things were going swimmingly as a girl (Brittney) ate sweet after sweet to within 3 feet of his van.!!!...:Ohno::Ohno:

Marty trembled in anticipation!!!! One more block of chocolate and she would be his!!

..at this point the girl picked up a dog turd on the street and Martys fun was over...


----------



## MartyStrat54

(She wouldn't have known the difference. I mean she married a dog turd.)


----------



## StootMonster

Marty likes to start every morning off with a nice fresh shave using a dog turd.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Man all of a sudden we are getting some mileage out of a dog turd. 

(Thanks J2112C.)

Stoot performs on stage and to enhance his look he stuffs a giant dog turd down his pants. He's careful about the one he uses. Once he got one and he didn't know it was full of ants. Halfway through, "Walk This Way," the ants tore into his scrotum. His colorful antics really got the crowd going. After the song was over, he was seen using a fire extinguisher down his pants. This scattered the ants from his feet to his love stick. He finally had to leave the show and was last seen by bandmates nursing a badly bitten ballsack that was now the size of a softball.

He has considered using a sock with a cucumber in it. A lot less risk than using a dog turd.


----------



## StootMonster

how did you know this? I'm going to kill my drummer!


----------



## NewReligion

*EDIT.* Sorry, I had eight too many beers. It was funny, but way out of line. It involved someones dick, wife, blow job and dog sh!t. 
*
Tag I'm it!!*

Guess Instead I will talk about Marty moving to Canada because guys are just giving away their amps.

Damn, that is better. Sorry Carnada.


----------



## j2112c

NewReligion said:


> *EDIT.* Sorry, I had eight too many beers. It was funny, but way out of line. It involved someones dick, wife, blow job and dog sh!t.


*

Ha ha... self control in action... I thought I might see you clear the post and add.....CM so we know what you did!




*


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Man all of a sudden we are getting some mileage out of a dog turd.
> 
> (Thanks J2112C.)
> 
> Stoot performs on stage and to enhance his look he stuffs a giant dog turd down his pants. He's careful about the one he uses. Once he got one and he didn't know it was full of ants. Halfway through, "Walk This Way," the ants tore into his scrotum. His colorful antics really got the crowd going. After the song was over, he was seen using a fire extinguisher down his pants. This scattered the ants from his feet to his love stick. He finally had to leave the show and was last seen by bandmates nursing a badly bitten ballsack that was now the size of a softball.
> 
> He has considered using a sock with a cucumber in it. A lot less risk than using a dog turd.



 Which brings us back to:






Stoot Letting a local groupie touch his engorged Sea Cucumber...

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN-Stoot would have to sew a third pant leg to his pants to accommodate that huge cucumber. Man, I'd like to have one that big. Maybe that skinny bitch Paris would make a movie with me.

You know what they say. "Big woman, big pussy.""Little woman, ALL pussy."

I need to divulge something. Do you remember when some guy bought the rights to a storage locker that just happened to belong to Paris? He found prescription herpes medicine with her name on the bottle.

Double yuck!


----------



## TwinACStacks

That means we should be featuring a Paris/Pam Anderson Tag team here, so You can get Herp and Hep all with one stop shopping.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well you know I plugged it in and its not bad. Not bad at all. I may have found my true tone.


----------



## MartyStrat54

FOR JOHN C:

Let's go fishing John!

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> FOR JOHN C:
> 
> Let's go fishing John!
> 
> A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
> The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
> "Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
> "Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
> "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
> The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
> "Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
> The wife sits and thinks about it.
> Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
> The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
> "Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
> "Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."





AUGGGGgggGGGGHHHHH! 
Can you hear that punchline being delivered in the UK over in the US?

Ha ha ha ha


----------



## MartyStrat54

John, you really need to stop wearing that Cookie Monster outfit. What's up with whipping everyone's ass?


----------



## j2112c

Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! C is for Cookie!

Marty persuaded me to take up singing - his vocal coaching is second to none!
Listen how smooth my vocals are now... though the Monster suit does get a little warm.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MrG5rhu5U4]YouTube - cookie monster the time to kill is now[/ame]


----------



## MartyStrat54

It sounds like Miss Piggy's hind quarter is stuck in Cookie's throat. Other than that he (you) sounds good.

I play this at night for my niece and nephew to comfort them to sleep. (Man that subwoofer is just pounding, I hope they like it.)


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marty has now confirmed that it is indeed John in the Cookie Monster costume. I fear we may have lost John. He wants to fight and play death metal guitar. He should be at home caressing his Bing Crosby albums and having tea with his cat.


----------



## TwinACStacks

What truly is TEA without scones or crumpets?

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> What truly is TEA without scones or crumpets?
> 
> TWIN



and... COOKIES!!!!
Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie!

I tuned one of my guitars down tonight to try it out... not sure I will get into it.. not bad this Death Metal stuff... I will sleep in my Cookie Monster suit tonight for the first time!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Don't try to whack off. It won't work. That is, unless you used a cookie "hole" cutter in the crotch of your costume.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Besides, It will get your Blue Fur all matted....

and I'll bet it's "Dry Clean Only".

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

My guitar is called Cookie... want to know why?

Ta Da!

I lined the case with the left over fur from my suit, I a can always recycle it if I put some (more) weight on!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Whutz that white stuff on the inside of the case....

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> Whutz that white stuff on the inside of the case....
> 
> TWIN



Ha ha....

Lurrrve! In a very special way!


Twin is the inventor of the anti-matting fur comb, he says he devised it to get yogurt out of his carpet ...but farmer Wilson and Shelly Sheep know it was an anti-detection device before a carpet cleaner...

Twin knows it works on wool based products and Shag Pile (don't ask about Shag Pile - Shelly still can't walk straight)


JML $12.99


----------



## MartyStrat54

Isn't this sold by VINCE, on TV? You know the guy that sells the SHAM WOW!

You know the guy (who like so many TV personalities) ended up on the wrong end of a transvestite. "How's those loose teeth, Vincent?"

BTW-Could it have be our very own Marty in the drag? (I'll bet he delivers a mean right cross to the jaw.) 

Or could it have been our beloved Shelly? Her personality disorder has gotten worse and she sometimes thinks she's a street HO.

And as VINCE says, "Buy yours now!"


----------



## TwinACStacks

As Marty and John are discussing the Shag Wow. Twin, (a werecow in sheep's clothing), quietly slipped into Shelly's Boudoir and paid her $50 for things you would like done to EWE....

For some ODD reason Shelly says she wants to get Her Fleece dyed Blue.

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

TwinACStacks said:


> For some ODD reason Shelly says she wants to get Her Fleece dyed Blue.
> 
> TWIN



Yah... it s all about fashion she saw Clara the sheep in blue and now she wants to be blue too for awhile.

What she does not realise is that Clara got blue as my Blue Cookie Suit ran a little as I sweated... here she is... it took ages for her to get it all off... at least Shelly thinks it is fashion only.


----------



## MartyStrat54

So that explains all the blue sheep I've seen. You've been a busy boy, John. I guess that cookie hole cutter came in handy after all.

Blue and matted with a hint of crust. Yummy!


----------



## TwinACStacks

He's making Mutton-Oatmeal Cookies!!!!!

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> So that explains all the blue sheep I've seen. You've been a busy boy, John. I guess that cookie hole cutter came in handy after all.
> 
> Blue and matted with a hint of crust. Yummy!



Yes, it really is more of a VelCro FlaP than a hole, but yes I get your drift...


----------



## MartyStrat54

Wouldn't that VELCRO be sticking to all those sheep hind ends? You see what I mean? 

Velcro Fly lyrics

Hey, look at the hooks
on your pants makes you wanna dance.
I say yeah yeah,
I say yeah yeah.
There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch,
do the velcro fly,
do the velcro fly.

You need just enough of that sticky stuff
to hold the seams of your fine blue jeans.
I say yeah yeah.
I say yeah yeah.
There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch,
do the velcro fly,
do the velcro fly.

Well, it feels so right when you squeezed it tight,
when you reach the end do it over again.
I say yeah yeah.
I say yeah yeah.
There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch,
do the velcro fly,
do the velcro fly.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> Wouldn't that VELCRO be sticking to all those sheep hind ends? You see what I mean?
> 
> Velcro Fly lyrics
> 
> Hey, look at the hooks
> on your pants makes you wanna dance.
> I say yeah yeah,
> I say yeah yeah.
> There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch,
> do the velcro fly,
> do the velcro fly.
> 
> You need just enough of that sticky stuff
> to hold the seams of your fine blue jeans.
> I say yeah yeah.
> I say yeah yeah.
> There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch,
> do the velcro fly,
> do the velcro fly.
> 
> Well, it feels so right when you squeezed it tight,
> when you reach the end do it over again.
> I say yeah yeah.
> I say yeah yeah.
> There ain't never a catch, all you got to do is snatch,
> do the velcro fly,
> do the velcro fly.


----------



## MartyStrat54

John has got all the sheep trained to line up at the sound of his VELCRO, err, ah HOLE! Kerriff! Daddy's got something for you tonight. Kerriff! Look at what is sticking through my hole...it's all for you. Keriff! Ah this is gonna be so...What the fuck? Get out of here you crazy ram!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

yep ! leave it to Marty to know all the tricks to sheep fuck'n !!! LOL ! lol !!
Have you no pride Dude , at least if you bag a chuncky chic you would be 
at least plowing a human being !


----------



## MartyStrat54

...but then she would want to spend the night. At least the dog goes over in the corner after I'm done.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes likes to watch Marty and his pet playthings outside of Marty's house. Tubes knows that a Peeping Tom can get beat up if discovered. Even so, the Baa-ing of a sheep puts Tubes quickly in motion. He wonders were Marty gets all of these animals? 

He notices that the sheep has left and a Great Dane is in the room. Tubes can't take it any longer. He spies a small poodle and goes for it. Problem is there is an old lady at the other end of the leash. Tubes doesn't mind, there's enough for both of them.

...to be continued.


----------



## BluesRocker

Marty is the old lady at the end of the leash. Dressed as he was in the leaked photo that everyone has saw.


----------



## MartyStrat54

I leaked the photo and since I have 14 forum members have asked me out. What do you say to that?


----------



## MartyStrat54

BluesRocker said:


> Marty is the old lady at the end of the leash. Dressed as he was in the leaked photo that everyone has saw.



And much to everyone's surprise, BR was the poodle. Boy did Tubes do a number on BR. Marty was wanting his share, but BR was more than a match for Hot Tubes. The vein was drained.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> I leaked the photo and since I have 14 forum members have asked me out. What do you say to that?



Ah now Marty that is not kind of you.... you known BluesRocker read the thread late and cums in at number 14.
I am sure you will let him a his chance to date you in drag and show you a good time.


All joking aside a quick preference questions:
Rhodes or Lee? 
Aldrich or Campbell? 
.........Sheep or Poodle?


----------



## TwinACStacks

Lee/ Sheep/Velcro.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

j2112c said:


> Ah now Marty that is not kind of you.... you known BluesRocker read the thread late and cums in at number 14.
> I am sure you will let him a his chance to date you in drag and show you a good time.
> 
> 
> All joking aside a quick preference questions:
> Rhodes or Lee?
> Aldrich or Campbell?
> .........Sheep or Poodle?



John I would be honored to dress up in my best drag outfit and let BluesRocker take me out. I'm not a bitch.

Question-I would go Rhoads, Aldrich and sheep. I can't stand a yapping poodle that is sitting on your lap working the pole. And it's hard on them as well as in them. I had a toy poodle and it was like the chimp banging the frog. Not much left when it was all over.


----------



## TwinACStacks

And it's hard on them as well as in them. I had a toy poodle and it was like the chimp banging the frog. Not much left when it was all over. 


Hung like a MAN but Oh, such a Lady.....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well I had thought about becoming a She-Male and moving to Las Vegas. This would be strictly for money. A lot of oriental men find a 6'3" lover with a penis exciting and are willing to pay $1000 for the "ride." However, I had to consider my age and the fact that the plastic surgeon wouldn't want to do surgery on an old man. So that blew that idea. (I didn't blow it, the surgeon did.)


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> Hung like a MAN but Oh, such a Lady.....
> 
> TWIN



TWIN secretly wishes that Marty was holding him in his arms.


----------



## MM54

You know, that picture slightly creeps me out every time I see it, because I know it's Marty... but it doesn't look like Marty.


----------



## tonefreak

MM54 said:


> You know, that picture slightly creeps me out every time I see it, because I know it's Marty... but it doesn't look like Marty.



well being that he neglected to shave his pits, it's rather obvious. lol

still rather. strange.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

MartyStrat54 said:


> TWIN secretly wishes that Marty was holding him in his arms.



OMG. I knew this pic looked like someone. Marty (in Drag) looks like Richard Dawson (in drag) from Hogans Heros.


----------



## tonefreak

longfxukxnhair said:


> OMG. I knew this pic looked like someone. Marty (in Drag) looks like Richard Dawson (in drag) from Hogans Heros.




IT DOES!

how creepy is that.


----------



## MM54

Now that that's been pointed out, it's more creepy


----------



## tonefreak

Marty, is there something you aint tellin us?


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yeah. I now shave my armpits.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> Yeah. I now shave my armpits.



Just gone off ya.
I like my chicks with hairy pits!


----------



## tonefreak

j2112c said:


> I like my chicks with hairy pits!





I'm sorry. that's nasty.


----------



## j2112c

Tones trying to cover up his secret 'pit' fetishes.. the hairy and smelly the arm pit the better....


Here is the picture of the wall in his garage! WOW







I think she is dead cute with the hamsters under there!


----------



## TwinACStacks

:eek2: John likes Blue Pit Hair....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN did an experiment. He spray painted two female hamsters blue. When John C. saw them, he right away wanted them for a three-way.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Cookie Hamsters.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TWIN likes the smell of cum in the morning !!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

My old Lady's that is.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot tubes uses KY on his Gerbils.

And a shoehorn with his Guinea Pigs...

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

You need a shoehorn with a pencil???


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

How does Marty fake his orgasm ? He spits on his boyfriends back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> You need a shoehorn with a pencil???



He's a REAL tightass.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tube's wife went camping and boy did she find something she liked. She's been there for three days now. Tubes tried putting gravel down his pants, but it did nothing for her.

Hope you get her back, Tubes.






This is even more impressive than the Redwood cock.


----------



## MartyStrat54

John C!!! The circus chimp wants you to come over to his house. Please wear your Cookie Monster outfit. He found a really hot babe for you.


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN-Your girlfriend's BMW broke down and it was something simple. Problem was, she just couldn't reach it.

(You lucky SOB!)


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> TWIN-Your girlfriend's BMW broke down and it was something simple. Problem was, she just couldn't reach it.
> 
> (You lucky SOB!)



Actually Marty I think you will find that is a pnuematic jack!

2 minutes later he car wheels were off the ground.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Cost me $625 to get the two dimples taken out of that front Bumper...

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> John C!!! The circus chimp wants you to come over to his house. Please wear your Cookie Monster outfit. He found a really hot babe for you.



 I've dated worse.

:cool2::cool2: TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> I've dated worse.
> 
> :cool2::cool2: TWIN



Oh I forgot...Detroit boy. You have some real honeys in the old downtown area.


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> Cost me $625 to get the two dimples taken out of that front Bumper...
> 
> TWIN



Your in good hands with Allstate.


----------



## tonefreak

Marty is secretly wishing he had dimples in HIS front bumper.


----------



## Unknown3

tonefreak secretly has an altar in the basement with a Marshall MG15 on it. He prays three times a day that SS amps will make tube amps obsolete.


----------



## tonefreak

Metallon secretly wishes Slash was gay. he thinks then he might be able to get some of the sought after 'Slash-tone'.


----------



## TwinACStacks

ToneFreak secretly wishes he had a REAL Stratocaster.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

tonefreak said:


> Marty is secretly wishing he had dimples in HIS front bumper.



:cool2: Marty wishes he had NIPPLES on his front bumper...

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> :cool2: Marty wishes he had NIPPLES on his front bumper...
> 
> TWIN



Twin is wishing it was his nipples he could put on Martys front bumper.


----------



## tonefreak

longfxukxnhair said:


> Twin is wishing it was his nipples he could put on Martys front bumper.



LFH wishes he could join twin in his excursion.

they are both jealous of the epicness of my mexi strat.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TF got his mexi strat when he bought the $5 box at Taco Bell


----------



## TwinACStacks

All I ever got was a talking stuffed fuckin' Chihuahua that said "Here Lizard,Lizard..."

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

no, but I may have gotten a $400 box with my mexican strat.


I'm thinkin of making a green card for my strat... and taping it to the back. how awesome would that be. a mexi strat with a work visa.


----------



## tonefreak

Twin stuffed the Chihuahua.


----------



## TwinACStacks

tonefreak said:


> Twin stuffed the Chihuahua.



No I stuffed the Big Lizard.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

then the chihuahua stuffed you.


----------



## longfxukxnhair

tonefreak said:


> no, but I may have gotten a $400 box with my mexican strat.
> 
> 
> I'm thinkin of making a green card for my strat... and taping it to the back. how awesome would that be. a mexi strat with a work visa.



That would be sweet!


----------



## tonefreak

I'm totally doin it when I get back next week.


----------



## MartyStrat54

longfxukxnhair said:


> That would be sweet!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty wishes he had never sucked that guys cock back in high school !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Geez...give me a break. I thought it was a clitoris.:eek2::eek2:


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Geez...give me a break. I thought it was a clitoris.:eek2::eek2:



Yeah. And I thought women had Adam's apples....

 TWIN


----------



## eljeffebrown

Twin thinks ALL women have an Adam's apple and a five o'clock shadow (damn tuckers what they are)!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Eljeffebrown likes the wild snatch hair all around his Mouth ! he he !!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

:cool2: Hot tubes Date asked him if he was into anal, and Remembering his prison days, he said "No Thank you"....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twins favorite past time is to suck cum filled farts out of his boyfriends dirt shute !

Twin likes one testicle on each side of his chin .....hence his handle !


----------



## TwinACStacks

:cool2: Hot Tubes Can't WAIT for his Cat to come in heat again.

Best pussy he's ever had.

:cool2::cool2: TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin are you still banned from all those play grounds !!! Sicko !!


----------



## Marshall Mann

HT wants to see how coarse ElJeffe's beard hair is.


----------



## TwinACStacks

:cool2: Hot Tubes, Did that little girl ever find your lost puppy?

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Yes as a matter of fact , she found it at your house , it was lickin the canned dog food off your cob you sick fuck !! ha he ehe heehehe haaaa !!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot Tubes was checking out Camel Toes at the Zoo...

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> Hot Tubes was checking out Camel Toes at the Zoo...
> 
> TWIN




L O L !! nice !!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin wishes he had great tone , cause he wants a 900 in the worst way !!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot tubes has fallen, and he doesn't want to get up.

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin loves that AFD tone. Oh yes.


----------



## eljeffebrown

AFD tone is the only tone Stoot can achieve!


----------



## tonefreak

Jeffe is mad that his 900 can't do AFD


thus why he switched to the MG.


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Tonefreak secretly plays a line 6 combo in the back of his basement late at night...AND LOVES IT!


----------



## StootMonster

The thread lives again!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

StootMonster said:


> The thread lives again!!!



It's like a Carnada thread, it will never die.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Chuck secretly plays a 100 watt Crate SS Half Stack in the back of his basement late at night...AND LOVES IT!

The buzzing sound gets him all excited.


----------



## tonefreak

despite being a tube freak, marty has this fender 15 watt frontman. he is too embarrassed to list it in his sig.


but it's his main amp nowadays. he loves the nasly mush of the what. 8 inch speaker? along with the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz of the gain stage.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Tonefreak uses an isolation cab with PUPPIES in it...

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

twin modded a puppy so he could plug it into his 2204


----------



## diesect20022000

tonefreak said:


> twin modded a puppy so he could plug it into his 2204



Tone freak bought a crategx15r with the money he made selling his Marshall.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Diesect lives in Ohio...

 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Twin laid pipe to Clapton while wearing slippers. He even started a thread about it


----------



## eljeffebrown

Richard doesn't watch spanktervison, and he hates Spanky from the little rascals!


----------



## chuckharmonjr

eljeffe really does not have a beard...its a glue-on stage prop


----------



## tonefreak

chuck enjoys pissing on the wall socket...


----------



## Marshall Mann

Tone is a closet Justin Bieber fan and owns his entire line of nail polish.


----------



## diesect20022000

TwinACStacks said:


> Diesect lives in Ohio...
> 
> TWIN



if only that WAS a lie....


----------



## StootMonster

Ohio is the only state north of the mason dixon line that has bonified rednecks....

wait that wasn't a lie either.


----------



## diesect20022000

StootMonster said:


> Ohio is the only state north of the mason dixon line that has bonified rednecks....
> 
> wait that wasn't a lie either.



no sadly it wasn't....StootMonster's from Ohio.....


----------



## eljeffebrown

Diesect doesn't own anything in his Sig and he only plays Country music with a Epiphone Dot through a Fender Sidekick 15!


----------



## diesect20022000

eljeffebrown said:


> Diesect doesn't own anything in his Sig and he only plays Country music with a Epiphone Dot through a Fender Sidekick 15!



Eljeefe's ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!


----------



## tonefreak

diesect gets killer metal tones with his dot, through a boss metal zone into his fender sidekick 15.


----------



## IbanezMark

tonefreak said:


> diesect gets killer metal tones with his dot, through a boss metal zone into his fender sidekick 15.



which still leaves him tone seeking, so he's buying a Gorilla next.


----------



## tonefreak

Ibanezmark is selling his strat so he can buy a gorrila and a metalzone.


----------



## eljeffebrown

Tone is in the process of selling all of his equipment to buy Justin Biebers Junk. and by Junk, I mean Cock and Balls!


----------



## TwinACStacks

El Jeffe is secretly Kenny G.

 TWIN


----------



## eljeffebrown

TwinACStacks said:


> El Jeffe is secretly Kenny G.
> 
> TWIN



Twin secretly makes love to Kenny G while smoking a pipe and wearing slippers ...............NO WAIT!


----------



## TwinACStacks

El Jeffe once tried to plug an Accordian into his 900 but couldn't figure out how to make it work with a Wah and Fuzzface...

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin thought that having a wah and a fuzzface means that you don't shave for a week and you walk around going, "waaaaaaaaah, waaaaaaaaah".


----------



## TwinACStacks

I'm not even going to say that Stoot thought a capo was a device for pre-mature ejaculation.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

that's what twin uses his capo for... as a matter of fact he has 6 of them for that purpose.


----------



## TwinACStacks

tonefreak said:


> that's what twin uses his capo for... as a matter of fact he has 6 of them for that purpose.



To quote Will Sonnet:

"No Brag, just fact."

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Tone has a Justin Bieber photo with little white stains all over it.

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin let him borrow it.


----------



## tonefreak

stoot wants it next


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TF uses his Justin blow up doll (among other things) to drive in the carpool lane.


----------



## IbanezMark

longfxukxnhair said:


> TF uses his Justin blow up doll (among other things) to drive in the carpool lane.



but it only works when the doll isn't bent over the shifter with it's mouth below the steering wheel.


----------



## tonefreak

hey! i only use that pick up chicks. it's a lot easier when they think there's justin beiber sittin in the front seat of your car!

lol


----------



## longfxukxnhair

IbanezMark said:


> but it only works when the doll isn't bent over the shifter with it's mouth below the steering wheel.


----------



## StootMonster

Longhair can't think of anything but pointing laughing faces... oddly enough - that's the same reaction he gets from women that see him naked.


----------



## TwinACStacks

When Stoot was a little kid he wanted his mom to buy him some "Shrinkydinks" cause he wanted to collect tiny penises....


 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin is an fine upstanding man.


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot once got run over by a parked car...

 TWIN


----------



## Lane Sparber

After becoming "friendly" on the "Laying Pipe and Slippers" thread, Twin and El Jeffe are now teaming up to create a line of Croc-based condoms, but they can't figure out how to make it work around all of the holes!

-Lane


----------



## StootMonster

Lane thinks his bag of Cheddar Combos is a Jubilee.

sad, sad, sad...


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot once tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Lane once sold his car for Gas money....

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

twin was very happy when he was able to buy lane's car for the price of a tank of gas.


untill he found it didn't run on gas to begin with.


----------



## Lane Sparber

Twin then SOLD my car in order to buy some "used" guitar strings from Tonefreak that...allegedly...once belonged to Justin Bieber. Wanna know how he got them? I don't.

-Lane


----------



## TwinACStacks

Ewwww I thought those were just coated strings. Not COATED strings!!!

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

TF is Justin's "Back door man"...

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

The weatherman said it was going to be Chilly tonight so Lane went outside with a bowl and spoon....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot tripped over the wire on his cordless phone...

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

twin thinks the 'twighlight' series of movies are the best movies ever filmed.


----------



## eljeffebrown

Twin is the Chairman of the *C*raven-*P*amlico *A*nimal *S*ervices *C*enter


----------



## Marshall Mann

Jeff traded a set of double D tits for a pair of bunny ears.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Jeffe is now Hefner's bitch...

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin's "Great Book of Cutdowns for Dummies" has an infinite number of pages.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot once took the Streetcar home, but his mother made him take it back...

 TWIN


----------



## Lane Sparber

Twin was once told he had a urine test in the morning, and then stayed up all night studying for it.

-Lane


----------



## Micky

Lane could never figure out why his sister had three brothers and he only had two...


----------



## StootMonster

Micky said:


> Lane could never figure out why his sister had three brothers and he only had two...



That's funny right there.


----------



## eljeffebrown

Stoot thinks that skull avatar from 1986 is cool.


----------



## LPMarshall hack

Jeffe hates Bieber.


----------



## StootMonster

eljeffebrown said:


> Stoot thinks that skull avatar from 1986 is cool.



You're right, the bunny ears, bunny suit and stupid face looks MUCH MUCH BETTER. LOL


----------



## eljeffebrown

LPMarshall hack said:


> Jeffe hates Bieber.



I do not! you sir, are a liar and a fatmouth! 



StootMonster said:


> You're right, the bunny ears, bunny suit and stupid face looks MUCH MUCH BETTER. LOL



Ha!


----------



## NewReligion

Jeff performs live in his full ensemble of the Playboy Playmate Bunny outfit in Bieber Pink which also will be available as a Nail Color from the Bieber Line, Spring 2011.
David


----------



## IbanezMark

NewReligion said:


> Jeff performs live in his full ensemble of the Playboy Playmate Bunny outfit in Bieber Pink which also will be available as a Nail Color from the Bieber Line, Spring 2011.
> David



That sounds way too elaborate to be a lie.. 
:cool2:


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

Hey look! Mark's daphne blue strat with scheiss painted on it.


----------



## LPMarshall hack

eljeffebrown said:


> I do not! you sir, are a liar and a fatmouth!
> 
> 
> 
> Ha!




I know you don't hate him...that why I wrote that you DO hate him...that's the lie!!!!


----------



## eljeffebrown

LPMarshall hack said:


> I know you don't hate him...that why I wrote that you DO hate him...that's the lie!!!!



I hope your kidding.


----------



## TwinACStacks

It takes Jeffe Two hours to watch "60 Minutes"....

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> It takes Jeffe Two hours to watch "60 Minutes"....
> 
> TWIN



In honor of Twins 65th Birthday.....

Twin is so old, he was actually ON the ark to see Noah using that Marshall as a PA.


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Last time Twin went to the dentist...he was there 6 hours and it cost him 200 bucks and a 900 head.


----------



## tonefreak

heck, twin's so old that noah is his little brother!


----------



## NewReligion

TF's Avatar is as old as Twin.


----------



## tonefreak

amen. I need to change it one of these days.


David is bald enough to be as old as twin.


----------



## NewReligion

tonefreak said:


> amen. I need to change it one of these days.
> 
> David is bald enough to be as old as twin.




Now see that is the truth, lol. That would be like saying that David is masculine enough to be able to shave his head and still get more attention than he needs.

It should read more like this. 

TF prays to God every night that he will have male pattern baldness when he grows up so he too can be 6'4" 240lbs have more woman than he will ever want and fight and make love as well as he plays guitar. But for now he really wants a Mustache for Christmas.

David


----------



## tonefreak

LOL

i don't have much problem with the mustach. I just want my damn hair to grow FASTER. it's been a year, I started with a buzz cut last august, I've had it evened out 3 times since then, and it's only just below my ears, and 3/4 the way down my neck. 5 plus inches to go for the goal lol


shaving his head is david's excuse for being bald.


----------



## NewReligion

tonefreak said:


> LOL
> 
> i don't have much problem with the mustach. I just want my damn hair to grow FASTER. it's been a year, I started with a buzz cut last august, I've had it evened out 3 times since then, and it's only just below my ears, and 3/4 the way down my neck. 5 plus inches to go for the goal lol
> 
> 
> shaving his head is david's excuse for being bald.



TF is learning to embrace who he is. He always wants 3, 4 or 5 more inches.

Sorry man LMAO!

David


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> TF's Avatar is as old as Twin.




I dont know about that one, have you looked at your avatar lately David????


----------



## NewReligion

Marshall Mann said:


> I dont know about that one, have you looked at your avatar lately David????



Yeah, I know.  I thought of that as I made fun of his Avatar. I wondered who the smart ass would be that pointed that out. JK

See, now I must be stubborn and keep the Avatar for another 2 years. Way to go Mann. And I was going to change it tomorrow. 

David


----------



## StootMonster

NewReligion said:


> Shred is dead. Blues is where it's at and I also like boys.
> 
> David



Wow, I can't believe he typed this.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I heard Southern boys sit around an discuss the merits of the Pig scene in Deliverance....

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

NEVER Posted by NewReligion! 

Shred is dead. Blues is where it's at and I also like boys.



Originally Posted by StootMonster "Wow, I can't believe he typed this."

Stoot has agreed to show us all how to manipulate other peoples postings in order to display our thoughts and desires without drawing attention to our self.
How did you do that Stoot? Are you Moderator? Dude, you should run for Congress with those skills.

David


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Dave is offended that he cant offend someone properly!


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs is writting a new song called Southern Boy.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Dave wished he smoked a pipe and wore slippers...as he will never learn "Wonderful Tonight"


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs and Stoot are starting the "We Who Torture & Kill Small Animals Then Hide Them Under The Bed Club". 

AKA John Wayne Gacy Fan Club


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

David is in love with my Sheep!!!!!!!!!


----------



## NewReligion

LOL, Guilty as charged


----------



## StootMonster

(All you do is quote someone and change the text between the quotes.)

Also, Buggs doesn't smoke a pipe anymore after he lit his face, head and chest hair on fire (hence the profile pic) That pic was taken while he was at the burn center in Hoboken.


----------



## NewReligion

StootMonster said:


> (All you do is quote someone and change the text between the quotes.)
> 
> Also, Buggs doesn't smoke a pipe anymore after he lit his face, head and chest hair on fire (hence the profile pic) That pic was taken while he was at the burn center in Hoboken.



Damn, that is so obvious. Thanks for pointing it out Stoot.


----------



## NewReligion

StootMonster said:


> (All I do is kill little animals and stuff them under my bed.)



Freaking double posted in my excitment! lol.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Killing little animals is okay, But taking them to bed with you is kinda scary....

 TWIN


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Twin is happy he lives to far from me to take advantage of the cab i'm selling for $250


----------



## NewReligion

Buggs was hand feeding his flock last week when his favorite sheep bit his hand. After talking to Twin, Buggs is convinced he will soon change into a Weresheep.


----------



## StootMonster

New Religion thinks that if he crosses his arms in his pictures it makes his biceps look large.


----------



## NewReligion

Stoot is atracted to guitarist with large biceps.

Thanks for not mentioning my Levi's lol.


----------



## StootMonster

NewReligion said:


> Stoot is atracted to guitarist with large biceps



Must be why I stare in the mirror so much.


----------



## TwinACStacks

da,da,--da-- da,da......


Oh Christ. It's Dueling Banjos.


 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

Twin has taken one of those self portrait pictures of him self and used it for his avatar.


----------



## StootMonster

Marshall Mann's sig should actually read like this:

Harmony Acoustic
knock of sm57
frayed quarter inch guitar cord
Plastic bread tie for a pick


----------



## Marshall Mann

Stoot bought an MG because the sales rep told him it stood for Mega Good.


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Stoot stares in the mirror hoping a new cab will appear so he has a full stack to shake dust from the light fixtures.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Chuck has eaten too many of those Gulf-Coast shrimp after the Spill....

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

twin misunderstood and thought the science teacher said that they always EAT all the critters they dissect after the dissection back in high school.

the preservative had a strange effect on him

oh well. now his burial costs wont be so high... they won't need to go through all the work to preserve his body! he already took care of that!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Tone isn't dim-witted, he's just possessed by a Retarded Ghost....

 TWIN


----------



## Frankie

TwinACStacks said:


> Tone isn't dim-witted, he's just possessed by a Retarded Ghost....
> 
> TWIN



Twin once sold his amp for a heroin fix.


----------



## StootMonster

Frankie once shot up with a cooked 12AX7


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot has a Meth Lab.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Don't let Frankie borrow Your Harley....

(Sorry Bro. I couldn't resist. Just Glad You are Okay.)

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin is so used up, his blood type is LSD.


----------



## Frankie

TwinACStacks said:


> Don't let Frankie borrow Your Harley....
> 
> (Sorry Bro. I couldn't resist. Just Glad You are Okay.)
> 
> TWIN



YES! 

More importantly, don't ride in front of me on a Harley. Ask Forge, my bassist and best buddy since middle school. "My bad."


----------



## StootMonster

You forgot the lie.

Frankie's last tattoo covered up his previous tattoo that said, "Man/Boy Love Association President"


----------



## Frankie

StootMonster said:


> You forgot the lie.
> 
> Frankie's last tattoo covered up his previous tattoo that said, "Man/Boy Love Association President"



Hey, you forgot the lie too! 

I hear stoot had a 3 some with some g-gilfs a while back.


----------



## StootMonster

(I totally didn't have to google "G-Gilf" to see what it meant.)

Frankie is an upstanding, well adjusted individual.


----------



## Frankie




----------



## TwinACStacks

The two of you together....

Aw FUCK it. They're from the South, no one is surprised.

 TWIN


----------



## Lane Sparber

Twin in his natural environment wearing his "good" shirt.

-Lane


----------



## TwinACStacks

Lane changed his name from "John"






WHAT'S REALLY funny is that he was considering changing it to Shawn...

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

FRANKIE, you GOTTA see the new episode where New Jersey invades South Park. I damn near strangled I was laughing so hard...

"Kyle! What's _*that*_ behind you?"

 TWIN


----------



## Lane Sparber

I snuck this photo of Twin's young'uns the other day. They are his pride and joy! Let's be honest...they'd be the apple of ANYONE'S eye!

CONGRATS PROUD PAPA!!

BTW, I am MUCH prettier than Shawn. Always have been.

-Lane


----------



## TwinACStacks

*sniff, sniff* I'm teachin' 'Em to play Banjo....

 TWIN


----------



## Frankie

TwinACStacks said:


> FRANKIE, you GOTTA see the new episode where New Jersey invades South Park. I damn near strangled I was laughing so hard...
> 
> "Kyle! What's _*that*_ behind you?"
> 
> TWIN



Oh, I watched it twice so far. It's all the way funny... and mostly true. Us Jersey-born Sicilians are assholes!


----------



## TwinACStacks

No one said that.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

An elderly Sicilian man named Frankie Sixxxgun lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, Frankie slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Jersey-Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy Guido?

Mustering one great final effort, Frankie threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

Frankie's aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife....."Back off!" she said, they're for the funeral."

 TWIN


----------



## Frankie




----------



## StootMonster

Frankie thinks spinning smiley faces are clever.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I do too. How come they don't get dizzy? ( I watch them for hours, they only turn one direction)

TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot stopped in to a full service gas station but got mad when they asked him how many pounds of air his head took....

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin is funny


----------



## TwinACStacks

THAT'S a Lie!

I have paid professionals write my material.

 TWIN


----------



## Lane Sparber

Twin's "paid professionals" are really...Carrot Top. Hence his problem.

-Lane


----------



## TwinACStacks

I got this whole Steamertrunk full of sight props/gags and It doesn't come off well over a thread on the internet.

Trust me, it was funny as _HELL!!!_ 

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twinn !!! Did you ever get rid of that RASH you got from that GOAT !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Oh my. Not the dreaded goat rash. I believe it got started with the circus chimp messing around with the goats and then TWIN messing around with the goats and maybe a little messing around with the circus chimp.

The symptoms are very similar to Filipino Bull Head Clap.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Circus chimps & Twinn ! NO !!! 

He's all over those chimps like Oprah on a baked ham !!


----------



## TwinACStacks

More like OPRAH on GAYLE.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

BTW: Hot Tubes I know you're Canadian, but it's spelled Chimpanzee NOT Chimpapenis....

Freudian slip.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> BTW: Hot Tubes I know you're Canadian, but it's spelled Chimpanzee NOT Chimpapenis....
> 
> Freudian slip.
> 
> TWIN





Only you would know !!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot Tubes wasn't feeling well so he went to

see his Doctor. After a Thorough examination

Hot Tube's impatience got the best of him.

"Doc, what's wrong with me?" He asked

The doctor told Hot Tubes, “You’re dying.”

Hot Tubes replied, “I want a second opinion.”

The doctor then said, “Okay, you’re ugly too.”


 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Everytime TWINN farts , it smells like Vaseline & cum !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Everytime TWINN farts , it smells like Vaseline & cum !!



What's his breath smell like? Same thing?


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> What's his breath smell like? Same thing?



LOL !!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> LOL !!!



Hot Tubes smells like .... Well Dogs keep trying to lick his face to get rid of the taste of their own assholes....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Did you all hear !!!! TWINN got a brain transplant !!!

THE BRAIN REJECTED HIM !!!!! lol !!!!!


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Hot Tubes B+ went from 470 to 50....and he still cant figure out what happened


----------



## PaoloJM

chuckharmonjr said:


> Hot Tubes B+ went from 470 to 50....and he still cant figure out what happened



Chuck still thinks B+ is the grade of the amplifier!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Paolo is still trying to figure out why Americans want to buy Fucking British Amps....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TWINN Like Crate Amps .......... NO LIE !!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot Tubes has sex with his line 6 Pod.

 TWIN


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Twin bet on the Lions to win the SUper Bowl this year


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Chuck wants to have a hot shower with all the guys from the Lions ....
And there's no gaurantee he's not going to drop the soap .........On purpose !


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> Hot Tubes has sex with his line 6 Pod.
> 
> TWIN



HT is not sure what jack to "plug" his Line 6, the send or receive.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MM is just jealous , he wants to own some fine LINE 6 tone so he can stick his jack in the hole ....he he he !!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

chuckharmonjr said:


> Twin bet on the Lions to win the SUper Bowl this year



All of us in Detroit have that Fantasy....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot tubes prefers squatting on Warm Tubes. He just likes to brag about it.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twinn likes to scratch'n Sniff his boyfriends sack , he says it reminds him of home !

EEEUWWWW !!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot Tubes enjoys smegma on a Ritz.

 TWIN


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

TwinACStacks said:


> Hot Tubes enjoys smegma on a Ritz.
> 
> TWIN



This is twin:


----------



## TwinACStacks

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> This is twin:



 Lespaulnmarshall visits Gay websites. OFTEN.

 TWIN


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

TwinACStacks said:


> Lespaulnmarshall visits Gay websites. OFTEN.
> 
> TWIN



It depends on the definition of gay, if you mean homosexual when you say the word gay, then I don't. If you mean happy when you say gay, then yes.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> It depends on the definition of gay, if you mean homosexual when you say the word gay, then I don't. If you mean happy when you say gay, then yes.



No Huh? then where did you get the Cartoon Pic?

 TWIN


----------



## eljeffebrown

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> This is twin:



THIS, disturbs me, VERY, VERY much!


----------



## PaoloJM

eljeffebrown said:


> THIS, disturbs me, VERY, VERY much!



Eljeff is uncomfortably turned on by that pic.


----------



## TwinACStacks

It worries me that it disturbs Jeffe, as I believe he is one of the sanest people on this forum....

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Hey, save that shit for the Homo thread!

There may be a fine line between Werecows and faggs but there is a line.


----------



## tonefreak

NewReligion said:


> Hey, save that shit for the Homo thread!
> 
> There may be a fine line between Werecows and faggs but there is a line.



david IS that line...


----------



## TwinACStacks

tonefreak said:


> david IS that line...



 Oh No He didn't....

 TWIN


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

TwinACStacks said:


> No Huh? then where did you get the Cartoon Pic?
> 
> TWIN



Google...


----------



## IbanezMark

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> Google...



By google, LP&M is referring to the "casual encounters" section on Craiglist


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

IbanezMark said:


> By google, LP&M is referring to the "casual encounters" section on Craiglist



Mark's got Slash's tone!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Lespaulnmarshall said:


> Mark's got Slash's tone!



No need to be cruel LP&M....

 TWIN


----------



## Lane Sparber

I present, after MUCH ado, this photo of Twin's lawn (see foreground). WAY TO GO, TWIN! I'd be proud of that too!

-Lane


----------



## tonefreak

Lane Sparber said:


> I present, after MUCH ado, this photo of Twin's lawn (see foreground). WAY TO GO, TWIN! I'd be proud of that too!
> 
> -Lane





lane is twin's head groundskeeper.


----------



## Lane Sparber

tonefreak said:


> lane is twin's head groundskeeper.



...and that's EXACTLY why I'm so proud of it!

ToneFreak has applied 7 times to be Justin Bieber's..."valet."

-Lane


----------



## TwinACStacks

Lane just got a Job Gardening for Justin Bieber's Valet...

 TWIN


----------



## IbanezMark

and JB's valet was recently found hanging from a nail in Twin's shed after he was found trespassing..


----------



## tonefreak

IbanezMark said:


> and JB's valet was recently found hanging from a nail in Twin's shed after he was found trespassing..




wait i was???



Mark was the only other person interviewed for the job. but he wasn't good enough snow driver.


----------



## thrawn86

Tonefreak actually dyes Twin's lawn a golden brown.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Thrawn likes to take it in the golden brown ! he he he ....


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Twin put rock salt all out in his front yard so it doesnt freeze this winter


----------



## TwinACStacks

Chuck loves to run his toes through the Oil slick down at the shore...

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Ah, that's not oil.


----------



## Wycked Lester

Marty just ordered on of these to match his rig.

.....and i cant say i blame him.


----------



## IbanezMark

Wycked Lester beat up Slash with a crate, took his hat, and popped it on ebay


----------



## Wycked Lester

IbanezMark said:


> Wycked Lester beat up Slash with a crate, took his hat, and popped it on ebay



ive been exposed!


----------



## Marshall Mann

IbanezMark said:


> Wycked Lester beat up Slash with a crate, took his hat, and popped it on ebay



Mark is the current high bidder on said hat


----------



## MartyStrat54

Mann could care less. He has his eyes on Johnny Depp's Alice In Wonderland hat.






Big MoFo of a hat!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Only if it gets me the AFD tone!

But really, it's the pink scarf that gets me.....

Now this is the hat Mary is after.


----------



## tonefreak

marty tried out for the job of mad hatter.


he didn't have a tall enough hat, so they hired Depp instead... who showed up looking like Captain Jack Sparrow. go figure.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Wycked Lester said:


> Marty just ordered on of these to match his rig.
> 
> .....and i cant say i blame him.



Hey Now!!! That's not funny:






 TWIN


----------



## IbanezMark

Twin had to buy Slash hats in bulk to recover his head and cab


----------



## Marshall Mann

IbanezMark said:


> Twin had to buy Slash hats in bulk to recover his head and cab



And now Twin gets that AFD tone in spades!  :Ohno:


----------



## diesect20022000

Marshall Mann just stole all of Twins Slash hats because he ran out of condoms.:eek2:


----------



## NewReligion

Die thinks that Slash is the Condom Ferry.


----------



## IbanezMark

David never used a condom and now pays child support in 27 different states.


----------



## NewReligion

Lol. Coast to Coast bro. I certainly "spread" the wealth.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yes you do. Just like that case of blue ball clap you "spread" in Illinois.


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> Yes you do. Just like that case of blue ball clap you "spread" in Illinois.



That sh!t will make you go blind. On the upside you could seriously give yourself a cool blue guitarist's name.

Blind Blue Ball Marty and the DSL/TSL/JMP Express.


----------



## Wycked Lester

NewReligion said:


> That sh!t will make you go blind. On the upside you could seriously give yourself a cool blue guitarist's name.
> 
> Blind Blue Ball Marty and the DSL/TSL/JMP Express.



NR just got done "upgrading" his peavey rig with all new NOS Marshall logos.


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Marty decided to get out of the tube business and bought up 2 sacks full of op-amps


----------



## MartyStrat54

Chuck was seen french kissing the well hung circus chimp.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty good to see you back again !! 

I did not think we would see you back around these parts after your short incarseration !
That will learn ya for publicaly Ass raping a young billy goat at the local zoo !! 
Those who throw stones , should not live in glass houses !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

After I ass raped that Billy goat it gave milk like a cow for two weeks.


----------



## diesect20022000

MartyStrat54 said:


> After I ass raped that Billy goat it gave milk like a cow for two weeks.



marty sold me some KILLER NOS opamps for my old 4500.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Die's avatar is also his high school graduation picture.


----------



## NewReligion

Marshall Mann said:


> Die's avatar is also his high school graduation picture.



Marshall Mann named all of his children Richard Marx. In order to distinguish between the children he calls them by their middle names.

It was that or Rick Springfield.


----------



## IbanezMark

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Those who throw stones , should not live in glass houses !!!



unless...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK2Bw1tI_-k]YouTube - Glass house and the Fucking Machine Gun[/ame]


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Mark thinks Rupaul is all woman


----------



## NewReligion

Richard had the worst day of his life today when the trash bag ripped open and poured out on the floor.


----------



## IbanezMark

longfxukxnhair said:


> Mark thinks Rupaul is all woman


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longhair only has one Marshall and several Large mirrors....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TWIN like's the feeling of warm chimp goo running off his chin !


----------



## MartyStrat54

HOT TUBES can appreciate the feeling of warm chimp goo running off his chin. After all, he ran away from home to be with his chimp lover. TUBES got really good at peeling a banana.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Tubes went out and got TWO blowjobs, so he could come back and give Marty One....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Just for You Marty:






 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Picture of Twin ......look above ^ !


----------



## IbanezMark

Hot Tubes beats off to that picture because it's hotter than most Canadian women in the winter time


----------



## tonefreak

mark is moving to the states because he can't find enough hot chicks in Canada to go out with him


maybe he's just ugly though... JUST SAYIN!


----------



## StootMonster

Tonefreak thinks that saying he's politically incorrect will make him seem rebellious and cool.


----------



## tonefreak

stootmonster is still trying to figure out just what a 'stoot' is.


nobody's really sure though


----------



## MartyStrat54

Stooting involves a German Shepard, a jar of Vaseline and a former circus employee.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty used to work for Ringling Brothers.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Twin used to tend to sheep in Germany.


----------



## tonefreak

in a former incarnation, david was a sheep on a hillside in Germany


----------



## NewReligion

TF smell Vaseline everytime he farts.


----------



## james1100

NewReligion said:


> TF smell Vaseline everytime he farts.


----------



## MartyStrat54

James laughed so hard he crapped his pants.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

James1100 has a sore ass from last nights date with Martystrat !!


----------



## StootMonster

(StootMonster... as in Sean Stoots- Just sayin')

Hot tubes fantasizes about James and Marty's date with envy.


----------



## NewReligion

StootMonster said:


> (StootMonster... as in Sean Stoots- Just sayin')
> 
> Hot tubes fantasizes about James and Marty's date with envy.



Stoot enjoys discussing all men three-way fantasies. 

Just Sayin'.

Sorry Sean, lol. David


----------



## Marshall Mann

David wants to tape the whole thing and post it on X Tube and call it "Three men and a bald guy".


----------



## tonefreak

Marshall Mann said:


> David wants to tape the whole thing and post it on X Tube and call it "Three men and a bald guy".




or just 4 guys





Mann volunteered to be the camera operator so david could participate fully.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Great idea. I'm in. Who wouldn't want to be a porn star?


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> Great idea. I'm in. Who wouldn't want to be a porn star?



It's just a trick so that Marshall Mann can see your dick, oops I mean penis.


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> It's just a trick so that Marshall Mann can see your dick, oops I mean penis.



Yea, you know me David, I'm always looking out for dicks! 

And I cant speak for you Marty, but I dont think thats the kind of porn star I would aspire to be. :eek2:


----------



## TwinACStacks

SSSShhhh. Don't bother Marty. He's almost there.....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin's gottta get a hard on first before he urinates , or he'll piss on his nuts ! he he !!!!


----------



## james1100

Marty, Stoot, Hot Tubes, Tonefreak and New Religlion wanted to be porn stars but there dicks were too small, so they surrounded themselves with Marshall 100 watt stacks so they couldn't hear the chicks laughing.


----------



## TwinACStacks

James just gave up and bought a Line 6 and Headphones.

 TWIN


----------



## IbanezMark

Twin just sold his Line 6 gear to fund another Hello Kitty guitar purchase.


----------



## tonefreak

mark has stopped working on guitars for other people. he know works exclusively on hello kitty guitars.

something about that white cat thing on the pink background.


----------



## BluesRocker

Tone custom ordered a Hello Kitty guitar from Mark that has a white background and a pink cat.


----------



## MartyStrat54

BluesRocker should be talking. He just contacted the Hello Kitty factory custom shop with an order for a custom Hello Kitty guitar in flame purple with pink trim. (Oh yeah, it has Eric Johnson custom Dimarzio pickups).


----------



## TwinACStacks

Guys with Hello Kitties get more "Kitty".

 TWIN


----------



## BluesRocker

MartyStrat54 said:


> BluesRocker should be talking. He just contacted the Hello Kitty factory custom shop with an order for a custom Hello Kitty guitar in flame purple with pink trim. (Oh yeah, it has Eric Johnson custom Dimarzio pickups).



You forgot to mention the PIO caps and Aluminum Top! That would have tone for days! Bring a new meaning to having a "tinny sound"


Marty exclusively uses flower guitars and wears leather jackets and spandex pants to get the ultimate tone.


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Blues really gave up on blues along while ago and plays country in his basement


----------



## NewReligion

chuckharmonjr said:


> Blues really gave up on blues along while ago and plays country in his basement



Wouldn't that make it a "Whine" Cellar?


----------



## chuckharmonjr

i WAs drunk...the day my mom...got outta prison...


----------



## tonefreak

david is seriously considering trading in his 2210's for a couple'a Fender twins and a tele.


----------



## BluesRocker

Tone freak is actually not a freak about tone, but more on the fact a freak for Tele's and Fender amps. He hopes David trades off his Marshall so he will have someone to play Brad Paisley with.


----------



## tonefreak

brad paisley ROCKS.

in fact, he probably could kick most of our butts when it comes to guitar...


BR is keith urban's biggest fanboy.


----------



## BluesRocker

tonefreak said:


> brad paisley ROCKS.
> 
> in fact, he probably could kick most of our butts when it comes to guitar...



I would agree with that. He is a hell of a player.


----------



## tonefreak

he is


----------



## StootMonster

Liar


----------



## tonefreak

stoot is secretly wishing fender would release a Brad Paisley Signature tele




he would buy them all.


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Hey Tone? I took one of my daughters to his concert for her birthday two years ago...lemme tell ya something...that man can PLAY!


----------



## tonefreak

i know he can. he's coming over here in january, and i really wanted to go.


but then i saw the 2 acts that were opening, and decided that no, i really don't want to sit through an hour and a half of 2 country acts that i HATE just to see brad paisley.

i am however going in june to see Kenny Chesney... that's going to be a FUN concert.


----------



## StootMonster

Kenny Chesny is awesome.

(that was my lie, btw)


----------



## MartyStrat54

Then why can't you spell his name?


----------



## StootMonster

He sucks that bad.


----------



## Wycked Lester

Stoot aint talking about Kenny Chesney the country singer,.....hes talking about Kenny Chesny....I think he was the 3rd rhythm guitarist in Helix,...or Krokus,...or one of them bands. Stoot thinks hes awesome cuz he just won his entire wardrobe of vintage 80's spandex on ebay. Stoot knows there is a 80's resurgence right aroung the corner and he's gonna be ready for it.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Stoot...I have some NOS Aqua-Net hairspray if you are interested.


----------



## BluesRocker

Marty uses NOS condoms. He likes them dried out.


----------



## Wycked Lester

MartyStrat54 said:


> Stoot...I have some NOS Aqua-Net hairspray if you are interested.



man that shit got stinky when it got rained on.


----------



## TwinACStacks

chuckharmonjr said:


> i WAs drunk...the day my mom...got outta prison...



 My Baby got run over by a Train. It was a BIG ole' Train. I'm gonna get that Train....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin really only has a Hondo guitar and Peavey rage amp ! 
and the guitar only has 5 strings on it ......


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hot Tubes tried to be a guitar player, but it was too tough, so he went back to playing skin flute. He can really blow one of these. Go Tubes, go!


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Marty decided the tone from fenders was just too thin...he sold 'em all and bought Ibanez


----------



## MartyStrat54

MartyIbanez54???


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Twin really only has a Hondo guitar and Peavey rage amp !
> and the guitar only has 5 strings on it ......



 I do a lot of Stones....

 TWIN (Keef)


----------



## james1100

TwinACStacks said:


> I do a lot of Stones....
> 
> TWIN (Keef)



Twin DOESN'T throw stones at kids that run across his lawn.


----------



## TwinACStacks

james1100 said:


> Twin DOESN'T throw stones at kids that run across his lawn.



 James lives in the Tropics...

 TWIN


----------



## james1100

Nice one...as I'm freezing my balls off.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Ain't MUCH warmer in Detroit either.

 TWIN


----------



## IbanezMark

Some fucker tried to build an igloo on Twin's lawn.
Twin skinned him and now has a nice coat.


----------



## TwinACStacks

He worked in a Donut shop. Now I have a coat of Manny's Crullers.


Welcome to Instant Rimshot


 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin like's a little rim shot now and again !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tonguing the old brown rim. Just a little to make his breath smell like shit.

TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

so ...Marty , what do you do to get the shit taste out of your mouth ??


----------



## MartyStrat54

I French kiss the bearded lady and blow the well hung chimp. Gets rid of the taste every time.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> I French kiss the bearded lady and blow the well hung chimp. Gets rid of the taste every time.



OK 

So how do you get the taste of bearded lady and well hung chimp out of your mouth?


----------



## james1100

After french kissing a bearded lady and a well hung chimp, Twin uses a rim shot to get the taste out of his mouth.


----------



## TwinACStacks

James uses an Old French-Canadian custom, he licks his dog's ass to cleanse his palate. Dates back from the time of Fur trappers and Dogsleds....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

And Twin still uses this method today ! LOL !


----------



## TwinACStacks

I also chew on a sprig of Parsley, the Fur is really hard to get off your tongue...

 TWIN


----------



## IbanezMark

Twin GROWS some pretty mad fur on his tongue. Things have been a little off since that last French Canadian girl..


----------



## TwinACStacks

You would think they would at least shave their legs...

 TWIN


----------



## IbanezMark

Not during the winter months, Twin!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

IbanezMark still believes in Santa Claus ! !


----------



## IbanezMark

I met a stripper once that was dressed like Santa. It was hard not to believe in her


----------



## NewReligion

Actually, Mark has a thing for girls dressed like Nuns. That's why they call him the confessor!

David


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> Tonguing the old brown rim. Just a little to make his breath smell like shit.
> 
> TWIN



LOL.

Marty learned the definition of an overbite is when you are eating pussy and it taste's like shit.

Sorry Bro.

David

I FEEL A HAIR JOKE COMING.


----------



## chuckharmonjr

David just found out the legend of Bubba Claus is REAL!


----------



## MartyStrat54

It's good to see that there are a bunch of experienced shit eaters on this thread.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I've done worse.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

I won't disagree with you.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty had a 2 Litre Coke Bottle shoved up his as the other day , he said he was just getting ready for the big trip to the Zoo , Marty said "they just got in a BaBoon freash from the wild , so i thought i would go introduce myself to him" 

Thats great your trying to make new friends , but your going about it a bit strange !


----------



## TwinACStacks

I find it strange Marty would be after the Baboon. I had him pegged for a Silverback kind of Guy...

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> I find it strange Marty would be after the Baboon. I had him pegged for a Silverback kind of Guy...
> 
> TWIN



LMFAO !!!


----------



## Lane Sparber

HOT TUBES 70 would like us to THINK that he's just some super cool pedal modder with all the tricks...but he has been known on other forums...and by other names.

Does HOT PUBES 69 ring a bell, sir??? You've been found out! 

-Lane


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Lane , Lane , Lane , NYC's elite Amp tech. by day .....
Crack comedy team leader by night ....

I see you have been busy , Lane ! 
You learned to walk upright & speak all in the same week !

LOL !!


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Lane , Lane , Lane , NYC's elite Amp tech. by day .....
> Crack comedy team leader by night ....
> 
> I see you have been busy , Lane !
> You learned to walk upright & speak all in the same week !
> 
> LOL !!



 Lane it's okay, he's _*CANADIAN*_. If you ignore them the beer makes their attention span VERY short.

He won't remember a thing.

They also can't see you if you don't move.....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Hey Twin !! My Grandma traded in her 2204 !! she said it was too whimpy ! 
She also said " It must have been made for girls " !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

OMG!!! I was on a sex for lunch website and I sent text to HOT PUBES 69.

He tried to make me think he was well endowed. I told him, "Hey you're talking to a dude."

He responded, "It doesn't matter to me."

It made me give up lunch.


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Hey Twin !! My Grandma traded in her 2204 !! she said it was too whimpy !
> She also said " It must have been made for girls " !!!




 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Fantastic. Amazing. Unbelievable.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Are you describing your first date with Twin ??? Lucky you !! ha !


----------



## james1100

Hot Tubes is pissed that Marty is dating Twin.


----------



## NewReligion

james1100 said:


> Hot Tubes is pissed that Marty is dating Twin.



James is hoping that the name "Hot Tubes" has nothing to do with Amplifcation.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

NR wants the Hot tube from James1100 !!!!


----------



## NewReligion

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> NR wants the Hot tube from James1100 !!!!



Hot Tubes tried to order a "Erectifier" Tube from an adult book store only to have a monster glass dildo hand delivered to his house by an angry midgit wearing a Mesa Boogie T-Shirt and rubber gloves.



Are you still going to set me up if I mail you a SD-1 soon bro?


----------



## Wycked Lester

NR pm'd me yesterday and said he was embarassed to ask this on the forum but wanted to know if I really did know what settings slash used on afd. .....I told him i read somewhere that he sets his controlls to 34


----------



## NewReligion

Lester has no idea that PM stands for "PRIVATE" Message and is not to be shared with the general public.

And Lesters answer was of course, God shared those settings with he a Saul back in the day but Lester being the Humble Guitarist he is decided that Slash should use the secret settings to bring peace on earth on an album ironicaly name Appetite For Destruction.

More over due to Lester's love for humanity God Favored Les and has given him the Ultimate Holy Mode which I understand Jake E. Lee is trying to get from him in order to make a come back but Lester has plans for it at the End of Days Festival in Key West FL where he will play nude to the Gay Rights Advocates Siciety in a Judas Priest Cover Band.

Sorry, I have no Idea where all of that came from, lol.

Later bro.

David


----------



## MartyStrat54

People on this thread have trouble doing a lot of things. A lot of it has to do with dildos, Slash and midgets.

Hopefully all of you will be able to get a "grip" on things.


----------



## Wycked Lester

Shit brother, my bad, ....i though it stood for Palm Mute


----------



## NewReligion

Post Mortem

Watch out Marty is discussing his desire for us to "Grip" things again.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

NewReligion said:


> Post Mortem
> 
> Watch out Marty is discussing his desire for us to "Grip" things again.



Off topic !!!

Anytime on the SD1 mod !!



Ok ...Back to regular programming


----------



## NewReligion

Spring 2011 Hot Tubes will be Announcing his new S&M1 Mod. The pedal that hurts soooooo good!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot Tubes is Hot for the TUBES.....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

NR gets erect when Lester mentions "2210"....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Lester has perfected "The Hairy Palm Mute"...

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

LOL, Twin actually took his name from a Two Peckered Billygoat.

David


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Now you guys have NR thinking about the hairy ass of a billygoat !!!
For details on this area , ask Marty !


----------



## NewReligion

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Now you guys have NR thinking about the hairy ass of a billygoat !!!For details on this area , ask Marty !



LOL, I once said the same thing to a guy and he said yeah,






Only because it smells like your mom's VJJ. I didn't think it was very funny either at the time. LOL

Sorry man, I'm trying to be sensitive.

David


----------



## MartyStrat54

I love the feel of a well groomed Billy Goat's ass.


----------



## IbanezMark

MartyStrat54 said:


> I love the feel of a well groomed Billy Goat's ass.



aka a "hot chick" from Cincinnati


----------



## TwinACStacks

It was an Eskimo girl. Took marty 1/2 an Hour to realize he was Boffing her Parka....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

...but it was tight!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> It was an Eskimo girl. Took marty 1/2 an Hour to realize he was Boffing her Parka....
> 
> TWIN



LMAO !!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

OK .....its ON ~ !!!!!! 

Give me your best Low blow !! 
I can take it like a Man !


----------



## MartyStrat54

There goes Tubes again looking for free blow jobs. Good grief.


----------



## TwinACStacks

TwinACStacks said:


> Hot Tubes is Hot for the TUBES.....
> 
> TWIN



Hey Look! I just quoted Myself.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin ....it always seems like your BEHIND Marty !


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Twin ....it always seems like your BEHIND Marty !



Hey, it's better Than being IN FRONT of him, Trust me. It gets annoying. You have to keep swatting him with a rolled-up Newspaper.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

When I start to sweating I get better looking.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

So you will really need to pour ......


----------



## MartyStrat54

Exactly. A nice sweaty ass.


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Oh hell....there aint even anything I can say to that...lol


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Marty? you still got that dress and them fishnets?


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Exactly. A nice sweaty ass.



Shhhhhh !!!! Don't say that too loud !
Twin might hear , an he'll get all exited n' shit !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Maybe I can get all sweaty on his front lawn.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty, Don't make me use this Wall Street Journal....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin !!! You can read ??





LOL !


----------



## TwinACStacks

Just the Comics. You don't think I'm gonna read ANYTHING by Bankers do You?

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin .....go play your 2204 will ya ! Ha !!!!!


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Twin .....go play your 2204 will ya ! Ha !!!!!



So, Jeff mentioned the Forum has slowed a bit.....I think it's time to dig this thread up again! 

HT is glad summer break is finally here so he can check out all those under age girls again.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Damn strait !!!! 

I like'm tight .......real tight , kinda like fuckin a Pop bottle !!!


Chuck keeps tapping me on the shoulder , and asks for my sloppy seconds !!! ha !!


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Damn strait !!!!
> 
> I like'm tight .......real tight , kinda like fuckin a Pop bottle !!!
> 
> 
> Chuck keeps tapping me on the shoulder , and asks for my sloppy seconds !!! ha !!



LMAO HT!!!!! "Like a pop bottle"!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

The last Tight thing you saw was your drinkin' Buddies on New Years Eve.....

 TWIN


----------



## Papus

I heard Twin caught Gay at a 33rd Degree Masonic induction ritual and gave it to Carnada when he tried to show him how to make love to a woman the "real" way


----------



## Landshark

Papus said:


> I heard Twin caught Gay at a 33rd Degree Masonic induction ritual and gave it to Carnada when he tried to show him how to make love to a woman the "real" way



Least he got some... the only pussy you got is on top of your amp head.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Landshark said:


> Least he got some... the only pussy you got is on top of your amp head.



He likes that "Young" Kitty too....

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

The thread lives!!!!


----------



## james1100

Marshall Mann gets turned on by a picture of a sheep on it's back...oh shit these are suppose to be lies.


----------



## TwinACStacks

James has a Picture of MANN on his back....

 TWIN


----------



## eljeffebrown

Twins avatar is really fake, he really owns a mesa dual rectum fryer, turns the gain up to "11", breaks out a bc rich Kerry King sig V and and goes to work on himself to gay midget porn!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Jeff sadly wishes the Sharks could win the Cup


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Buggs wanted to be a Hockey player so bad when he was young , he liked being around alot of naked sweaty men !! he he he !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hey Tubes. Do you still subscribe to PLAYGIRL magazine?


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hey Tubes. Do you still subscribe to PLAYGIRL magazine?



Yes he does Marty, but only because he is waiting for his favorite gal to grace the pages once again.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hey Tubes. Do you still subscribe to PLAYGIRL magazine?



There is some very good articles in them issues i'll have you know !!!! 

Are you still banned from all the school grounds and the pet store (specifically the Gerbil isle ???????)


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marshall Mann said:


> Yes he does Marty, but only because he is waiting for his favorite gal to grace the pages once again.






LMAO !!!!!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

James 1100 just sent me this pic from MM's Camera


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

WTF?.....seems the wifes laptop just lost a few minutes.......HT....why did you egg MM to do it?


----------



## Marshall Mann

Buggs.Crosby said:


> James 1100 just sent me this pic from MM's Camera



OK, you caught me Buggs, but I learned it from you!


----------



## TwinACStacks

eljeffebrown said:


> Twins avatar is really fake, he really owns a mesa dual rectum fryer, turns the gain up to "11", breaks out a bc rich Kerry King sig V and and goes to work on himself to gay midget porn!



 DAMMIT JEFFE!!!! You promised you wouldn't tell.

 TWIN


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Marshall Mann said:


> OK, you caught me Buggs, but I learned it from you!



what happened to the "Ewe" part?.....you flipped her too didn't you?.........At Twins request no dobt


----------



## MartyStrat54

That's one hot looking bitch. You have great taste in women. I'm sure she will be featured in PLAYGIRL very soon.

Note to TUBES: You ought to know about those gerbils. After all, it was you who showed me how to shove them in your ass. Are you ready for some more? I have a six-pack of gerbils in my refrigerator right now ready to be used. Give me a call.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> That's one hot looking bitch. You have great taste in women. I'm sure she will be featured in PLAYGIRL very soon.
> 
> Note to TUBES: You ought to know about those gerbils. After all, it was you who showed me how to shove them in your ass. Are you ready for some more? I have a six-pack of gerbils in my refrigerator right now ready to be used. Give me a call.



Why yes she is! I've stickied up that pic almost as many time as the pic of Bugg's sheep! 

Marty likes to put gerbils in HT's ass! Oh yea, we're supposed make up lies here aren't we.


----------



## TwinACStacks

The ONLY reason Jeffe Plays Metal is 'cause they don't write Bluegrass in drop-D....

 TWIN


----------



## james1100

Marshall Mann said:


> Why yes she is! I've stickied up that pic almost as many time as the pic of Bugg's sheep!
> 
> Marty likes to put gerbils in HT's ass! Oh yea, we're supposed make up lies here aren't we.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

james's ass is so punched out the Gerbils fall right out !!!


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> james's ass is so punched out the Gerbils fall right out !!!



HT knows because likes to catch them in his mouth while James takes pictures.

Gerbil swapping!


----------



## MartyStrat54

At least by doing this, the gerbils don't break their necks hitting the floor. Or is that actually poop and not a gerbil? Yuckie!!!

Marshall Mann likes beavers shoved up his old bung hole. They won't fall out unless you tie a chain around them and hook it up to a truck bumper. Then they make a wild popping sound as they come out.

Note: Don't ask how the chains are put on.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty discovered that using Porcupines instead of Gerbils or Beavers prevents against any unwanted accidental Rodent slippage.....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann said:


> HT knows because likes to catch them in his mouth while James takes pictures.
> 
> Gerbil swapping!



Unless he rinses them off first he's just asking for a nasty Ecoli infection...

 TWIN


----------



## diesect20022000

Twinn is a closet modern metalhead. In fact, his favorite player is John 5 and his beloved JCM900 DR's.


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> Marty discovered that using Porcupines instead of Gerbils or Beavers prevents against any unwanted accidental Rodent slippage.....
> 
> TWIN



That sounds more like a naturalistic cure for 'roids.


----------



## MartyStrat54

diesect20022000 said:


> Twinn is a closet modern metalhead. In fact, his favorite player is John 5 and his beloved JCM900 DR's.



Didn't you date John 5 for a while? Didn't he let you twist his knob?


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> At least by doing this, the gerbils don't break their necks hitting the floor. Or is that actually poop and not a gerbil? Yuckie!!!
> 
> Marshall Mann likes beavers shoved up his old bung hole. They won't fall out unless you tie a chain around them and hook it up to a truck bumper. Then they make a wild popping sound as they come out.
> 
> Note: Don't ask how the chains are put on.



You obviously have not seen my “even horizon” yet Marty, the Beavers fall out like grains of sand! 

Dont let Marty fool you Die, he is just jealous of your affair with John 5 and wishes he could twist knobs with him and put on grease paint.


----------



## diesect20022000

MartyStrat54 said:


> Didn't you date John 5 for a while? Didn't he let you twist his knob?


 Taught him everything he doesn't know


----------



## diesect20022000

Die lkes fad diets and line 6


----------



## Marshall Mann

diesect20022000 said:


> Die lkes fad diets and line 6



Hey Die, this isnt the self defamation thread! Feel free to diss on me all you want!


----------



## TwinACStacks

EVENT HORIZON.....


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Hey Mann, You seen my watch?

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

After experimenting with Various Diets, New Religion Finally Decided to go with Jenny Craig....


(I should be punished for that one David.)


 TWIN


----------



## chuckharmonjr

Twing poured rock salt all over his front lawn, drank 4 cases of PBR...then proceeded to piss out a love letter to Jenny Craig


----------



## longfxukxnhair

chuckharmonjr said:


> Twing poured rock salt all over his front lawn, drank 4 cases of PBR...then proceeded to piss out a love letter to Jenny Craig



On a side story. C is missing 4 cases of PBR and will now forfeit his deposit on the aluminum cans. Thus depleting his net worth in precious metals.


----------



## NewReligion

TwinACStacks said:


> After experimenting with Various Diets, New Religion Finally Decided to go with Jenny Craig....
> 
> 
> (I should be punished for that one David.)
> 
> 
> TWIN



LOL, it was more like the "Lazarus" diet. 

David


----------



## chuckharmonjr

I hear ya David.....and damn we're glad to have you back among the living.


----------



## NewReligion

Chuck has no shortage of precious metals as his heart is made of gold, LMAO awe.....

And Richards soul is metal to the core.

No wait, I am suposed to lie. OK, you guys suck!


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair said:


> On a side story. C is missing 4 cases of PBR and will now forfeit his deposit on the aluminum cans. Thus depleting his net worth in precious metals.



That's why I *ONLY* collect EUROPEAN BEER CANS.

Higher % of Aluminum.


Momma didn't raise no stupid kids.....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Longhair thinks we are going back on the Gold Standard.....


 TWIN


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> Longhair thinks we are going back on the Gold Standard.....
> 
> 
> TWIN



We are. But the avg person wont have any gold. Only the elite


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> That's why I *ONLY* collect EUROPEAN BEER CANS.
> 
> Higher % of Aluminum.
> 
> 
> Momma didn't raise no stupid kids.....
> 
> TWIN



Olympia is not a European beer. Im sorry to be the one to tell you Twin


----------



## TwinACStacks

longfxukxnhair said:


> Olympia is not a European beer. Im sorry to be the one to tell you Twin



Isn't Mt. Olympia the Place where Zeus and Hera Lived????

And they were Greek.

Or is that where they make the Cameras?

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Ever notice that TWIN has the mental capacity of a 92 year old man? He sure likes to ramble about nothing.


----------



## Lane Sparber

MartyStrat54 said:


> Ever notice that TWIN has the mental capacity of a 92 year old man? He sure likes to ramble about nothing.



Marty...how nice and generous of you to _subtract _40 years from his actual age for this post. You are a true friend!

-Lane


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well we are supposed to lie.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty , your not far behind no ????

Marty's so old he's farts dust !!!!! ( And his boyfriends cum !!!)


----------



## MartyStrat54

It's not dust!:eek2::eek2::eek2::eek2:


----------



## diesect20022000

Marshall Mann said:


> Hey Die, this isnt the self defamation thread! Feel free to diss on me all you want!


No ha! I double posted and it's supposed to be about the previous poster...which was myself so i went for it, heh heh.

Marty is the QUEEN of all things solid state.


----------



## Landshark

When KSE guitarist Adam D threw out his back, Die turned down filling in for them saying that they weren't his style...


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> It's not dust!:eek2::eek2::eek2::eek2:



 Residual Circus Monkey?

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin likes having a monkey on his back !!!! its makes him feel all warm inside .......


----------



## NewReligion

HT finds that a weekly Colonique makes him feel warm inside and has lead to his new OFA series of rotovibe called the butt-drive.  I can hardly wait for his Talk-Box "The Summers Eve Twat-Box", guaranteed not to leave a bad taste in your mouth. 

Sorry, that was a bitt distasteful Sir.

I'm gonna get it now!!!!!!!!!!

David


----------



## Lane Sparber

NewReligion re-amps all of his guitar tracks during mixing with a Crate Blue-Voodoo that he keeps hidden under the recording console away from prying eyes. Don't worry, David. Your secret is safe with me! 

-Lane


----------



## Australian

Lane uses 60/40 solder with a passion-to spite the greenies.


----------



## Lane Sparber

Australian said:


> Lane uses 60/40 solder with a passion-to spite the greenies.



I thought we were supposed to be _LYING_ here!!! 

-Lane


----------



## NewReligion

Lane Sparber said:


> NewReligion re-amps all of his guitar tracks during mixing with a Crate Blue-Voodoo that he keeps hidden under the recording console away from prying eyes. Don't worry, David. Your secret is safe with me!
> 
> -Lane



Thanks for keeping it safe Lane, lmao!

Lane is the Lead Tech Engineer of R&D at St Louis Music Corp. He is trying desperately to bring back Crate and Ampeg as they have that Brown Sound, you know brown like a lump of excrement. Not to be confusewd with the Hairy Brown Eye by DF.

Actually Lane is a brilliant Amp Tech and has a sixth sense or how would he have known about my re-amping technique with the Blue doo doo.

David


----------



## TwinACStacks

Actually Lane ONLY uses 99.9999% pure Silver solder melted down From Jimi's rings....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

New Religion learned that Crate trick from Rev. Billy Gibbons.

 TWIN


----------



## Lane Sparber

NewReligion said:


> Thanks for keeping it safe Lane, lmao!
> 
> Lane is the Lead Tech Engineer of R&D at St Louis Music Corp. He is trying desperately to bring back Crate and Ampeg as they have that Brown Sound, you know brown like a lump of excrement. Not to be confusewd with the Hairy Brown Eye by DF.
> 
> Actually Lane is a brilliant Amp Tech and has a sixth sense or how would he have known about my re-amping technique with the Blue doo doo.
> 
> David



...and for the absolute LAST time, David, NO I will NOT 
mod your Blue Voodoo to make it more "Vetta-like," whatever that means, so PLEASE for the love of all that's holy, stop spamming me with P.M.s about it!!!!!

-Lane


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Lane sends all his amps to VooDoo for modding , he does not really mod his own ......


----------



## Lane Sparber

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Lane sends all his amps to VooDoo for modding , he does not really mod his own ......



Them's fighting words...especially coming from someone like HotPubes 69 who "mods" pedals by simply changing out indicator LEDs and installing random switches that aren't connected to anything! 

-Lane


----------



## longfxukxnhair

Lanes real screen name was to be light saber but he has a typing impediment.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Lane Sparber said:


> Them's fighting words...especially coming from someone like HotPubes 69 who "mods" pedals by simply changing out indicator LEDs and installing random switches that aren't connected to anything!
> 
> -Lane



LOL !!!!


ShHHHHHH !!! keep that between you and me Eh !!


----------



## james1100

Lane Sparber said:


> Them's fighting words...especially coming from someone like HotPubes 69 who "mods" pedals by simply changing out indicator LEDs and installing random switches that aren't connected to anything!
> 
> -Lane


----------



## TwinACStacks

DON'T let Hot Tubes Mod Your Pedals!!!!!

He fucked up my Schwinn.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

You told Hot Tubes to remove the seat and leave the post as you preferred that sort of arrangement. You used to ride down the bumpiest roads in your neighborhood with a big old smile on your face.

(Boy did that bike ever draw flies. Pee U!)


----------



## longfxukxnhair

TwinACStacks said:


> DON'T let Hot Tubes Mod Your Pedals!!!!!
> 
> He fucked up my Schwinn.
> 
> TWIN



It was a chinese knock off. It was a Schwing


----------



## MartyStrat54

Was that "knock off" a "hard on?" 

Schwing? Do they make Les Paul copies too?


----------



## BluesRocker

Marty was the stunt double for the "intimate scenes" in Brokeback Mountain.

He enjoyed every bit of it.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yeah, I got that position after you quit. You thought the sex scenes were with the horses.


----------



## BluesRocker

Actually it was Donkeys..


----------



## Papus

MajorNut1967 showed me the guts of his 200w Major..... inside was a Class 5 board installed by MajorWatt


----------



## Marshall Mann

Papus actually asked for a gut shot shot of the Majors nuts.


----------



## NewReligion

Marshall Mann said:


> Papus actually asked for a gut shot shot of the Majors nuts.



When the Major declined Marshall Mann offered a shot of his own nuts stating that they were pre 10,000 series.


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> When the Major declined Marshall Mann offered a shot of his own nuts stating that they were pre 10,000 series.



And they are pre 10K!

David actually uses Diezel amps exclusively and only says he has a 2210 to be able to hang out with us here on the forum.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall is one of those fickle guys who is always trying to chase tone. After being a member on the MF and listening to what other members said, he decided to get a custom MG15 in white.

He calls it his mini RR tribute amp. He plays all of his Chinese guitars through it and it is just so sweet.


----------



## Papus

Papus doesn't really own a 2061x.
He still plays a Gorilla 15w SS amp with a $100 Les Paul clone with bolt-on neck and unwaxed pickups


----------



## MartyStrat54

Papus thinks he plays through a cheap rig.

I've seen cheaper.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Marty sells NOS tubes, the ones that are Now Out of Service.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall has been practicing, "Smoke On The Water" for six weeks. 

He finally learned the opening riff.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> Marshall has been practicing, "Smoke On The Water" for six weeks.
> 
> He finally learned the opening riff.



Yea, but when it gets to the second verse, you know, the ba ba bada part, I kind of get lost......

too-fer

When Papus bought his Marshall, the sales men told him it would get him pussy, upon payment, they handed him the picture in his avatar. 

Marty asked Papus if he could sniff his amp where the cat had been sitting to see how clean that pussy was.


----------



## NewReligion

Marshall Mann said:


> Yea, but when it gets to the second verse, you know, the ba ba bada part, I kind of get lost......
> 
> too-fer
> 
> When Papus bought his Marshall, the sales men told him it would get him pussy, upon payment, they handed him the picture in his avatar.
> 
> Marty asked Papus if he could sniff his amp where the cat had been sitting to see how clean that pussy was.



Marshall Mann dresses his guitar necks with Cod Liver Oil as it reminds him of his first time and the smell is always a finger tip away.

David


----------



## MartyStrat54

New R likes to play his guitar naked...

...in a crowded subway.


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> New R likes to play his guitar naked...
> 
> ...in a crowded subway.



LOL, you would be amazed where they want to "put" the tips!

Marty is always there with a huge tattoo arrow pointing Down his back that reads, Incert Coins Here. Talk about dirty money.

David


----------



## MartyStrat54

Dave, you CRACK me up!



> Talk about dirty money.



To make a $2 withdrawl, I have to do 10 jumping jacks!!!


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> Dave, you CRACK me up!



He he, no need to "Split Hairs" Marty, as this could get sh!tty.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Dave went to the big weekend flea market to show off his collection of Pig Nose guitar amps.

He had some SS CRATE's for sale too.

Just ask him. These are the basis of his signature tone.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

NR really wants a hot rodded Boss SD1 from OFA , but he's scared of the real tone !!!



LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> Dave went to the big weekend flea market to show off his collection of Pig Nose guitar amps.
> 
> He had some SS CRATE's for sell too.
> 
> Just ask him. These are the basis of his signature tone.



Yes, it is true as Marshall borrowed the Clipping Diodes Concept from the Pignose for the 2210/2550/2555. Japan Freaked out as they had not witnessed technology such as that since Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Now that the Rising Sun had the ball they ran with it and perfected the TS808 OD-1/SD-1. The world once again would never be the same. Thanks to the Pignose.


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> Marshall Mann dresses his guitar necks with Cod Liver Oil as it reminds him of his first time and the smell is always a finger tip away.
> 
> David



Yep, that way after the show when I tell the guys to sniff my finger, they think I got laid. 

Davis is really a closet Brad Gills fan, he thinks he's the best guitarist Ozzy has had to date and he comments on the amazing tone Brad gets out of his Mesa's.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Marshall Mann said:


> Yep, that way after the show when I tell the guys to sniff my finger, they think I got laid.
> 
> Davis is really a closet Brad Gills fan, he thinks he's the best guitarist Ozzy has had to date and he comments on the amazing tone Brad gets out of his Mesa's.



Marshall Mann wished Jeff "8 Fingers" Watson was his doctor during his last proctology exam


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Marshall Mann wished Jeff "8 Fingers" Watson was his doctor during his last proctology exam



LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dude ....That made me laugh ! out loud !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes. I ran into the bearded lady yesterday. She told me that she had moved in with the circus chimp. She gave me her telephone number, 705-342-6969. She told me to tell you to call her.

She told me, "Two is company. Three is a damn lot of fun!"

Give her a call.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Shit, Marty's been working on the Lead part to "Cinnamon Girl" for almost 2 decades.

Good news is He almost has it.


 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yeah, it's been awhile. I had to change the title of the song to "Lemon Pepper Girl."


----------



## Australian

Marty has buried an "NOS Time Capsule" in Libia where he will in another life raid all US Military stations for Military Spec..


----------



## TwinACStacks

Australian HATES his JVM's and longs for a HIWATT....

 TWIN


----------



## Australian

I had a Hiwatt in the 80's and didnt like it. Then got my first Marshall 2203, and the rest is history. 


......Twin is hiding his 2204 in the cellar. The Vox is just a cover up........


----------



## TwinACStacks

I keep telling You, they wear Lederhosen in *AUSTRIA.*

But You do look good.

Dumb-Ass Outbacker....

 TWIN


----------



## Australian

Youre the one that wears the akubra and has a Crocodile covered 2204..... that makes you one of us.


----------



## Lespaulnmarshall

Australian said:


> Youre the one that wears the akubra and has a Crocodile covered 2204..... that makes you one of us.



Australian is now eating bratwurst and saurkraut while he's drinking beer and listening to german schlagers music.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqzxG4cvF2A]YouTube - ‪Trenkwalder & Florian Silbereisen - Dafur mach ma Musik‬&rlm;[/ame]


----------



## StootMonster

LPnMarshall doesn't have a regular speaker cab. He has the original speakers cleaned out and the cab is fitted with four little midgets that simultaneously make guitar sounds when he sends the shock signal through.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Apparently Shoot had PM'd MartyStrat for some assistance on how to get his boy friends pubic hair out of his teeth .......and Marty had all the answer's !!!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hell yeah! That's why Tubes called me when the banana got stuck up his ass.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Your skills are no match for my event horizon Marty!

Dont let Marty fool you, he's the one that put the banana in HT's ass in the first place.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Nope, it was the circus chimp.

Marshall Mann is still trying to figure out the tuning on a six-string guitar. Please don't tell him that there are guitars with even more strings. It will only confuse him more.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat just got a one year subscription to the new scratch 'n Sniff PlayGirl magazine !


----------



## NewReligion

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> MartyStrat just got a one year subscription to the new scratch 'n Sniff PlayGirl magazine !



Hot Tubes paid for the subscription as he is in the Features "Tea Baggers Delight" & "Hard to Swallow". Rumor has it that he also is having a go at the movie industry which will put a new twist to the On Floor Audio label. 

David


----------



## TwinACStacks

NewReligion said:


> Hot Tubes paid for the subscription as he is in the Features "Tea Baggers Delight" & "Hard to Swallow". Rumor has it that he also is having a go at the movie industry which will put a new twist to the On Floor Audio label.
> 
> David



 Maybe it should be "on all fours audio"

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> Maybe it should be "on all fours audio"
> 
> TWIN



That is the "PUN" of the month right there!

"On All Fours audio foot pedals are a breeze to use and easy to mount."


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

You Fucker's kill Me !!!!!! LMAO !!!!

I have laughed so hard my sides hurt now !


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

HT is just dying to bust out the "8 Fingers Anal" Pedal......he claims it's a blast


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty Got a staple from the centerfold stuck in his nose ! 
He now is considering a lawsuit against the Magazine he so dearly loves .........


He's a torn man !! in more ways than one !!!!!!!!!!!! LOL !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes? Did you move out of your igloo yet?


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Tubes? Did you move out of your igloo yet?



Yep. It's springtime now. time for them to build Sweatlodges. Sounds kinda Ass-Backwards but what can you expect from a Country that has a "BEER STORE"?

I guess they wouldn't be able to find it if there wasn't a sign....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

:eek2:

:eek2:


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Tubes? Did you move out of your igloo yet?






Yes , spring was a few months ago ! we now moved into a local cave .


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> Yep. It's springtime now. time for them to build Sweatlodges. Sounds kinda Ass-Backwards but what can you expect from a Country that has a "BEER STORE"?
> 
> I guess they wouldn't be able to find it if there wasn't a sign....
> 
> TWIN






Twin ....you kill me !!

How far is the Canadian border from where you live ?
Or did you not make it to geography class that day ?


.


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Twin ....you kill me !!
> 
> How far is the Canadian border from where you live ?
> Or did you not make it to geography class that day ?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> .




About a 10/15 minute drive East then across a river to Windsor Ontario.

Close enough that there are as many Tim Horton's here as there are Starbucks....

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

TwinACStacks said:


> About a 10/15 minute drive East then across a river to Windsor Ontario.
> 
> Close enough that there are as many Tim Horton's here as there are Starbucks....
> 
> TWIN



Twin told me that the last time he went to Canada to visit a Tim Hortons that He and a friend that he could not identify ran off the road at a high rate of speed, crashed and burst into flames. Both were Burnt beyond recognition and lifeless. But they got better. Welcome back Twin.  Must be some strong coffee.

David


----------



## TwinACStacks

NewReligion said:


> Twin told me that the last time he went to Canada to visit a Tim Hortons that He and a friend that he could not identify ran off the road at a high rate of speed, crashed and burst into flames. Both were Burnt beyond recognition and lifeless. But they got better. Welcome back Twin.  Must be some strong coffee.
> 
> David



They turned me into a Newt.


 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

TwinACStacks said:


> They turned me into a Newt.
> 
> 
> TWIN



[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzYO0joolR0]YouTube - ‪She turned me into a NEWT!‬&rlm;[/ame]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh8mNjeuyV4[/ame]


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twins the Million Dollar Man !!


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Twins the Million Dollar Man !!



Bad News: they ran out of money to totally complete the operation.

GOOD NEWS: They re-built my genitals First.....


Here Kitty, Kitty.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

TwinACStacks said:


> Bad News: they ran out of money to totally complete the operation.
> 
> GOOD NEWS: They re-built my genitals First.....
> 
> 
> Here Kitty, Kitty.
> 
> TWIN



Unfortunately Twin was not aware that it was a Fedeeral Funded Program and that would result in the Lowest Bidder getting the Surgical Contract, which usually produces less than desirable results.











Edit:

Originally Posted by NewReligion 
Unfortunately Twin was not aware that it was a Fedeeral Funded Program and that would result in the Lowest Bidder getting the Surgical Contract.

Twin is now known on other forums as the Bionic Franken Cock.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> Bad News: they ran out of money to totally complete the operation.
> 
> GOOD NEWS: They re-built my genitals First.....
> 
> 
> Here Kitty, Kitty.
> 
> TWIN





That poor kitty will think he's getting his yearly shots if you come at him with that thing !!!!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

NewReligion said:


> Unfortunately Twin was not aware that it was a Fedeeral Funded Program and that would result in the Lowest Bidder getting the Surgical Contract.
> 
> Twin is now known on other forums as the Bionic Franken Cock.




you mean Needle dick bug fucker don't you !!!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

NewReligion said:


> Unfortunately Twin was not aware that it was a Fedeeral Funded Program and that would result in the Lowest Bidder getting the Surgical Contract.
> 
> Twin is now known on other forums as the Bionic Franken Cock.




you mean Needle dick bug fucker don't you !!!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> you mean Needle dick bug fucker don't you !!!!!



But......IT'S BIONIC!!!!


 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

"Get off my lawn, TWIN!" You cheap copycat of a turd. I'm the real million dollar man made when a million was still a lot of money.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Bring it on Bitches !!!! 

I love this thread ........i just wish more guys would show up !!!

its on ........


----------



## matt3310

HOT TUBES likes sex with women!! HAHAHAHA 



Sorry bro, couldnt resist!!


----------



## willscott182

Matt died in a suspiciously similar car crash to a recent event and is actually a guy called Peter


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

WillScott wishes he was plugged into that Marshall head & cab behind him in his Avatar , instead of the SS PEAVEY Bandit !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes knows a bunch about shitty amps. He's owned a bunch of them.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

" Hand Me Downs " from Martystrat !


----------



## TwinACStacks

HT is still mad about "on all fours" Audio....

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

TwinACStacks said:


> HT is still mad about "on all fours" Audio....
> 
> TWIN



HT is not mad he is frightened. He knows that Twin prefers his boys and men on All Fours screaming loudly.

David


----------



## TwinACStacks

NewReligion said:


> HT is not mad he is frightened. He knows that Twin prefers his boys and men on All Fours screaming loudly.
> 
> David



 Damn Skippy. Dressed like sheep is a BIG PLUS as well.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

How does Twin find sheep in tall grass ????














































Very Satisfying ! LOL ! LOL !!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> HT is still mad about "on all fours" Audio....
> 
> TWIN







Actually , it was very funny !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes shacks up with an old Eskimo squab named Nanashebosk. She isn't pretty at all, but she has no teeth.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Didn't you marry her sister ??? You know the one with a patch over her eye , and a neatly trimmed beard !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

She had a hormonal imbalance from eating too much whale blubber. 

And you are the one that poked her eye out with your two-inch dick.

Tubes is just mad that I got the sister who can eat meat.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> She had a hormonal imbalance from eating too much whale blubber.
> 
> And you are the one that poked her eye out with your two-inch dick.
> 
> Tubes is just mad that I got the sister who can eat meat.





AAAGHHHHHHH !!!!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

No you got it all wrong my man !!!

You took out her eye with one of your elastic bands that you hold your condoms on with .....

and you forget the 1 in that comment , not a 2 inch dick .....a 12 inch !!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

No other takers or what !!!! 

Twin was here , but he's probably looking a guy porn !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN looks at so much boy porn that he has to get a new computer every 3 months.

(He gets viruses so bad that he has to go to his doctors office for treatment.)


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Poor bastard ...he's got it bad !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN is so sad. He is an older man now. He could have been a priest at an all boys Catholic school. He let himself go to waste.

I'm so sorry for you, TWIN.


----------



## thinlizzy96

MartyStrat54 said:


> TWIN is so sad. He is an older man now. He could have been a priest at an all boys Catholic school. He let himself go to waste.
> 
> I'm so sorry for you, TWIN.


*Sigh. Looks like I'm joining this thread.

Marty's sad that he's too old to be one of the school boys.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Thinlizzy wants to feel the gental touch of a Priest , but he's afraid it may bring back old memories from his youth !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Thin Lizzy had a NGD. It was one of those pint-sized guitar thing-a-ma-bobs.


----------



## JayCM800

thinlizzy96 said:


> *Sigh. Looks like I'm joining this thread.
> 
> Marty's sad that he's too old to be one of the school boys.


 Just like thinlizzy96!!!!! What is he? Fourteen? Too old!!!




It's a lie, remember!?!?!


----------



## MartyStrat54

JayCM knows which members are under 15. He has a special chat room set up on his underground blog, "young 'ems are fun 'ems."


----------



## thinlizzy96

MartyStrat54 said:


> JayCM knows which members are under 15. He has a special chat room set up on his underground blog, "young 'ems are fun 'ems."


Marty would know. He shares it


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

He's got the direct link to a few chat rooms .....

Chunky Monkeys ( his fav )
Trans gender ( you figure it out )
Gerbils are your friend ! ( in more ways than one ) 
Peavey Boys Only ! ( he's old and his ears don't work so well anymore !! )




The Marshall Forum is just a cover .....


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty gets a Hard on when he sees pictures of Justin Bieber. Hot Tubes gets a Hard on when he sees Marty's stiffy.....

It's a RACE to see who can get on all fours fastest, they are both selfish and would rather receive than give.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

BTW, Thin Lizzy: "Afternoon Delight" does not mean you smear your dick with tuna in oil, then stick it in the Goldfish bowl at Exactly 12:00 P.M.

 TWIN


----------



## TyrackT71

TwinACStacks said:


> BTW, Thin Lizzy: "Afternoon Delight" does not mean you smear your dick with tuna in oil, then stick it in the Goldfish bowl at Exactly 12:00 P.M.
> 
> TWIN


Twin wishes he was a gold fish


----------



## TwinACStacks

TyrackT71 said:


> Twin wishes he was a gold fish



Tyrack wishes he smelled like "Tuna" once in a while....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twins got a "Thing " for Peewee Herman !!!!

They have been spotted together in movie theaters rubbing one off to gay porn !!



Says TMZ !!


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> Tyrack wishes he smelled like "Tuna" once in a while....
> 
> TWIN



Twin does swell like tuna everyday at noon, because he thought the following was true of the '70's pop tune. 



> TWINCASTACKS - BTW, Thin Lizzy: "Afternoon Delight" means you smear your dick with tuna in oil, then stick it in the Goldfish bowl at Exactly 12:00 P.M.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MM is so happy someone else let him out of the closet


----------



## Marshall Mann

Buggs.Crosby said:


> MM is so happy someone else let him out of the closet



Yep, and it was Buggs that showed me the way!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MM is still hoping it was me that turned the knob!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Buggs.Crosby said:


> MM is still hoping it was me that turned the knob!



I've got the pics to prove it!


----------



## StootMonster

This thread is so old and Marshall Mann is so unoriginal that he looks back 20 pages for new material, hoping nobody notices.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Just for that Stoot,

Stoot, Buggs and Marty are driving along a country road one day when they come across a sheep stuck in the fence with it's ass in the air. Marty says "Damn, I wish that was Britney Spears", Buggs says "I wish it was Justin Bieber" and Stoot says, "I wish it was dark".


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Stoot just realized that he wrote it....and still didn't notice


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MM wished he could say he was the Sheep


----------



## StootMonster

BUggs wishes he was a wabbit.


(yeah I know it was bad, sue me)


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

It was bad.....suit in progress ....i do wish i was a rabbit so i could find good free weed


----------



## StootMonster

But, Buggs... Carrots are actually roots, not weeds, what are you reefer-ing to?


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

StootMonster said:


> But, Buggs... Carrots are actually roots, not weeds, what are you reefer-ing to?



Root...Weed.......It all fits in my bowl!


----------



## StootMonster

The fact that Buggs is from S. Jersey explains why he doesn't know the difference between a weed and a root.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

But it seems he did figure out a corn colb makes a quick pipe in a jiffy.....and/or a toy for the mother in law


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Buggs wants a cob of his own .....and it to be given to him by his mother in law !!!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

My Mother in law handed me a Hot Tube once.....it was Limp!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Buggs ....don't they make a pill for that issue ???


----------



## TwinACStacks

I got your root right here.

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> I got your root right here.
> 
> TWIN



Yes you do Twin, problem is, considering your age is it's a bit like a carrot thats been in the fridge to long.


----------



## NewReligion

Marshall Man is planning to open a Hospice for "carrots". He will call it the "Make a Fist Foundation".

I enjoy watching the chics at the store just handle, look at and sometimes drop their jaws when selecting certain vegetables, cucumbers for one, lmao, wow really cool when they realize they are being watched. Guess I am a bit of a creep but it is so obvious that I am a man who enjoys playful women and great sounding amps. Girls, Guns, Guitars and hand picked vegetables.

David


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

NR wishes he could eat a vegetable !!!!!!

But getting them dressed and back into the wheel chair is such a pain !!!!!!! LOL !


----------



## NewReligion

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> NR wishes he could eat a vegetable !!!!!!
> 
> But getting them dressed and back into the wheel chair is such a pain !!!!!!! LOL !



I have always had a quick turn around so I just leave them on the floor in the wetspot lol!


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> Marshall Man is planning to open a Hospice for "carrots". He will call it the "Make a Fist Foundation".
> 
> I enjoy watching the chics at the store just handle, look at and sometimes drop their jaws when selecting certain vegetables, cucumbers for one, lmao, wow really cool when they realize they are being watched. Guess I am a bit of a creep but it is so obvious that I am a man who enjoys playful women and great sounding amps. Girls, Guns, Guitars and hand picked vegetables.
> 
> David



LMAO! "Make a Fist Foundation" OMG!!!


----------



## NewReligion

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> NR wishes he could eat a vegetable !!!!!!
> 
> But getting them dressed and back into the wheel chair is such a pain !!!!!!! LOL !



Hot Tubes has a fetish for Colostomy bags. He is known on the medical forum as Hot Colostomy Tubes.


----------



## Marshall Mann

David has always had a "soft spot" for Twins carrot.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marshall Mann said:


> David has always had a "soft spot" for Twins carrot.



And MM likes to Fuck that "soft spot" on the forehead of dead babies !!!

Mann ...your sick !!!!


----------



## NewReligion

Marshall Mann said:


> David has always had a "soft spot" for Twins carrot.



Marshall Mann is desperately trying to figure out why he wakes in the mornings impaled on the bed post and his face hurts more than his ass does since reading the thread on legalized marriage for homosexuals in New York. 

David


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> And MM likes to Fuck that "soft spot" on the forehead of dead babies !!!
> 
> Mann ...your sick !!!!



I'm sick? Man HT, you are the one thats all about dead babies and colostomy bags my friend!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall likes "fruit" cocktail. He went to bed with a white, black and Spanish gay men at the same time.


----------



## Marshall Mann

David took his 13 year old Daughter to the Doctor and told him, "Doc, I am worried that my Daughter is not sexually active". To which the doc replied "David, you are worried about your 13 year old not being sexually active?" David replied "yep, she just lays there like her mother does".


----------



## NewReligion

Marshall Mann said:


> David took his 13 year old Daughter to the Doctor and told him, "Doc, I am worried that my Daughter is not sexually active". To which the doc replied "David, you are worried about your 13 year old not being sexually active?" David replied "yep, she just lays there like her mother does".



LMAO, getting a bit close to the legal line here I think but funny as hell. Fortunately for me I have no daughters.

Now the visit to the veterinary clinic was in fact an embarrassment!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marshall Mann said:


> David took his 13 year old Daughter to the Doctor and told him, "Doc, I am worried that my Daughter is not sexually active". To which the doc replied "David, you are worried about your 13 year old not being sexually active?" David replied "yep, she just lays there like her mother does".



LOL !!!!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

NewReligion said:


> LMAO, getting a bit close to the legal line here I think but funny as hell. Fortunately for me I have no daughters.
> 
> Now the visit to the veterinary clinic was in fact an embarrassment!





Was it to have a Gerbil removed ????


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Was it to have a Gerbil removed ????


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall may laugh about the gerbils, but the truth is, his rectum is too loose for gerbils anymore. Because of this, he has stepped up to guinea pigs.


----------



## IbanezMark

Marty prefers the gentle touch of a fella named Bubba who hangs outside the library on Tuesday nights.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Mark looks back to where he met his "better half." It was in the dirty men's room at the truck stop off of I-35.


----------



## MartyStrat54

FLASH!!! This just fell out of Marshall's ass.






It is not a wig. It is ALIVE! Talk about a hairy situation.


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> FLASH!!! This just fell out of Marshall's ass.



Now I know I have never had my head up his ass so how did my wig get in there?


----------



## Marshall Mann

NewReligion said:


> Now I know I have never had my head up his ass so how did my wig get in there?



Oh come on David! Just tell them the truth! My ass baby wig is yours!

PS - I had it shampooed for the pic


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Yuk !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes rectum is so big he has to use 12 week old German Shepherd puppies.


----------



## StootMonster

The irony:

Make up a lie thread created by a minister gets used as a way to tease one another about how many gerbils you fit up your arses. 

Awesome.

Marty wears combat boots... then he plays through a line 6 outfitted with a hamster wheel. *wink*


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Shootmonster only wishes he had a killer LINE6 amp ............and not one of those crappy Marshalls !!!


----------



## StootMonster

Hot Tubes wishes he could read.


S T O O T M O N S T E R 

not to be confused with 

SHOOT - monster


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot is in the Ministry:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-8FrqZ3EVE]YouTube - ‪Monty Python - Ministry of Silly Walks‬&rlm;[/ame]

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Tubes rectum is so big he has to use 12 week old German Shepherd puppies.



That's not so bad. Marshall Mann has to use 1 Yr. old Mastiffs....

 TWIN


----------



## james1100

MartyStrat54 said:


> FLASH!!! This just fell out of Marshall's ass.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It is not a wig. It is ALIVE! Talk about a hairy situation.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> FLASH!!! This just fell out of Marshall's ass.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> More _Importantly_ has it seen my Watch?
> 
> TWIN


----------



## IbanezMark

Twin's watch also acts as a secret key to the cellar housing his Line 6 collection.


----------



## TwinACStacks

IbanezMark said:


> Twin's watch also acts as a secret key to the cellar housing his Line 6 collection.



Yes, And I wouldn't want that collection to fall into the wrong hands, it could possibly change the direction of music as we know it.....

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin's moobs bounce when he talks.


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> That's not so bad. Marshall Mann has to use 1 Yr. old Mastiffs....
> 
> TWIN



Not to brag, but they are a hybrid of Bull Mastiffs and Great Danes. 



Twin had to buy a shirt that says "Stoot, quit staring at my Moobies".


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann said:


> Not to brag, but they are a hybrid of Bull Mastiffs and Great Danes.
> 
> 
> 
> Twin had to buy a shirt that says "Stoot, quit staring at my Moobies".




You guys leave my Moobies alone. It took a lot of fine dining to get those bad boys, they are all natural....

Tell me do they both look the same size to you?

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twins moobs have moobs.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Stoot is really the love Child of Schwarzenegger.....

 TWIN


----------



## diesect20022000

Twinn AC stacks really means he has two identicle stacks of air conditioners but, likes to claim he has VOX amps instead.


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> You guys leave my Moobies alone. It took a lot of fine dining to get those bad boys, they are all natural....
> 
> Tell me do they both look the same size to you?
> 
> TWIN



One looks to be almost a B Cup, but they're still a fine pair. Any fourteen year old girl would be proud to have a set like that.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Marty! Stop staring at Twins tits!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marshall Mann likes to ring the E string against Marty's nipple's !!


----------



## StootMonster

Tubes has 5 extra nipples. That's why he never wears shorts.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Those aren't nipples, they're assholes!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty has a fascination with the human anus ......he just has not got the fact that its an EXIT and not entry !!( Those Poor gerbils ! )


----------



## StootMonster

You people and your gerbils! 


Hot Tubes has cold boobs.


----------



## Marshall Mann

StootMonster said:


> You people and your gerbils!
> 
> 
> Hot Tubes has cold boobs.



Stoot loves gerbils, ass gerbils that is!


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> One looks to be almost a B Cup, but they're still a fine pair. Any fourteen year old girl would be proud to have a set like that.



Thanx Marty. I feel better Now.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

For a Man of the Cloth, Stoot sure gets involved in some Classy threads...

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin taught the Father of his Church his first 3 chords on the guitar , guess what the Father taught Twin in return ?????


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Twin taught the Father of his Church his first 3 chords on the guitar , guess what the Father taught Twin in return ?????



If I remember right it was cribbage....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> If I remember right it was cribbage....
> 
> TWIN




I guess they both involve putting something round in a hole !!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hot Tubes just got off on the Mental Picture.....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN had been taking Viagra and one night he had an erection lasting more than four hours.

Every dog in the neighborhood was walking with a limp.


----------



## MartyStrat54

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> I guess they both involve putting something round in a hole !!



That's a good one TUBES!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> TWIN had been taking Viagra and one night he had an erection lasting more than four hours.
> 
> Every dog in the neighborhood was walking with a limp.



There were also SEVERAL Raccoons that wish they weren't in the Alleyway that particular night....

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

TwinACStacks said:


> For a Man of the Cloth, Stoot sure gets involved in some Classy threads...
> 
> TWIN



Hey, when I created this thread, I had no idea it would live 2 stories beneath the gutter.

And I didn't say I was a priest, I said I was an ordained minister. Big difference.


----------



## carnada

i want to read what someone says about me lol


----------



## TwinACStacks

carnada said:


> i want to read what someone says about me lol



Unfortunately Carnada, This thread is mostly about Screwing: people, animals objects, whatever. Something that is totally outside the realm of your experience....


 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

StootMonster said:


> Hey, when I created this thread, I had no idea it would live 2 stories beneath the gutter.
> 
> And I didn't say I was a priest, I said I was an ordained minister. Big difference.



Close enough for GOD to be watching.....

(I'm going to burn)

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

Twin thinks he would burst into flames if he walked into a church...


Oh wait, a lie.. nevermind.


----------



## TwinACStacks

StootMonster said:


> Twin thinks he would burst into flames if he walked into a church...
> 
> 
> Oh wait, a lie.. nevermind.




They call me POOF!!!!Daddy....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin's hairy palms has been preventing him from playing guitar lately ...............


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

HT is still waiting for the 4th of July fireworks


----------



## MartyStrat54

Buggs likes to stick his fist up Hot Tubes ass and let TWIN watch.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty has to get a hard on before he takes a leak , or he'll piss on his nuts !! ha !!!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Buggs likes to stick his fist up Hot Tubes ass and let TWIN watch.



Marty stands on the side and works as the "Fluffer"...


 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Marty has to get a hard on before he takes a leak , or he'll piss on his nuts !! ha !!!!!



Hot Tubes is a Eunich so he is jealous...

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

They call him Twin because from the back, when he's naked, his rolls look like another set of butt cheeks.


----------



## TwinACStacks

According to the URBAN DICTIONARY

STOOT:

someone who is stuck in a cycle of attempting to be fashionable and ending up slowly becoming more and more of a worthless tool person


In Billiards: a shot


Wicktionary:

To stab with a pointed object



I other words Stoot is looking for a Shot at stabbing Hot Tubes or Marty with his needle dick.

Repeatedly....


for Hours on end....


Until they squeel like Ned Beatty.


They are All like that down in the hills.


 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RrWfNonLDQ]YouTube - ‪Beavis and Butthead Farting and Laughing‬&rlm;[/ame]


----------



## TwinACStacks

Sorry Stoot I just couldn't resist....

 TWIN


----------



## StootMonster

It was funny. 

(that was my lie about the previous poster)

hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Shoot , being from S.C loves NASCAR and everything about it ......


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes cock is so small that he pees out of his ass.


----------



## NewReligion

MartyStrat54 said:


> Tubes cock is so small that he pees out of his ass.



Marty has been close enough to see this with his own eyes.


----------



## painkiller

Hey Hotubes, you burgle my house, nick my bike and bang my mrs and then my dog, then you rip all the riffs of my album ! Nicking my grannies pension money to spend on crystal meth and crack whores was uncalled for ...watch him he's dodgy !!!




NOOB here, you all gotta be nice to me remember


----------



## StootMonster

PainKiller really hates making grand entrances.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Is that anything like a "gay" entrance???


----------



## StootMonster

Marty chases his blues away with some corn bread and milk.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

painkiller said:


> Hey Hotubes, you burgle my house, nick my bike and bang my mrs and then my dog, then you rip all the riffs of my album ! Nicking my grannies pension money to spend on crystal meth and crack whores was uncalled for ...watch him he's dodgy !!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> NOOB here, you all gotta be nice to me remember





Painkiller !! Welcome to the Forum !!!
Ohhhhhhh I like fresh meat !! ahha ahaahha ahhha hhaa ( said with evil laugh)


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Shootmonster is another name for the male genitalia !!! ( but it really could be .....)


----------



## StootMonster

It's no coincidence that beneath Hot Tubes post, is an ad for the "Fretlight Guitar - GPS for playing any song"

... I love it.


----------



## IbanezMark

Stoot's got majority shares in the Fretlight company.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Mark robbed a bank and let himself get caught so he could go to prison. He is now very happy living with his cellmate, Big Bruno.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty's always complaining about having sore hands & knee's , and he's been growing a 
mustache to hide the stretch marks around his mouth !

Isn't that right Bruno , ooops i meant Marty !! ha !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes has five wives. They all have hairy armpits and no teeth. Whenever Tubes pulls down his pants, they all start laughing. Then they feast on whale blubber. After that, they use Tube's cock as a toothpick.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty is the worlds first living abortion !!! ha ha !!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Dame Painkiller.

Has a nice ring to it. How are your legs?


 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

NewReligion said:


> Marty has been close enough to see this with his own eyes.



NewReligion held the cup.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Tubes has five wives. They all have hairy armpits and no teeth. Whenever Tubes pulls down his pants, they all start laughing. Then they feast on whale blubber. After that, they use Tube's cock as a toothpick.



No Doubt. Up there near the Arctic Circle it's always a 5 Dog Night.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> No Doubt. Up there near the Arctic Circle it's always a 5 Dog Night.
> 
> TWIN



Twin , speaking of five !!

You still doing the five knuckle shuffle to naked pics of little boys !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Five knuckle shuffle...


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Quite tame compared to the 8 finger prostate exam


----------



## TwinACStacks

Buggs.Crosby said:


> Quite tame compared to the 8 finger prostate exam



You realize with 5 wives that's 40 fingers?

Damn Tubes....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN is qualified to give rectal exams.


----------



## TwinACStacks

StootMonster said:


> It was funny.
> 
> (that was my lie about the previous poster)
> 
> hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!





Stoot started off his career as an Altar Boy. He then became an intern where he has stayed, because he so loves the "Fringe" benefits, and the cigars. Yes he keeps all his dresses "just in case"....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> TWIN is qualified to give rectal exams.



Marty is qualified to receive rectal exams.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty & Twin were walking down the street , when Twin said to Marty " I smell Cum " ,"oh sorry " replied Marty , " I just burped "

.


----------



## chuckharmonjr

HT didnt start a stomp box company to chase tones...he really has a closet foot fetish


----------



## MartyStrat54

Chuck secretly wants to move to China to be a line tester for fake Gibson guitars.


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> HT & Twin were walking down the street , when Twin said to HT " I smell Cum " ,"oh sorry " replied HT , " I just Farted "
> 
> .



There I fixed it.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Talk about a low blow.

Tubes takes a lot of pointed barbs.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Talk about a low blow.
> 
> Tubes takes a lot of pointed barbs.



He's Canadian he may or may not get the joke.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

So TRUE.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty only knows three chords on the guitar ...........

C chord , C chord & C chord !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes gave up on playing guitar. He's a mean skin flute player though.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty on Guitar, HT on Skin flute playing the "Tube Steak Boogie".

In "C".


 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

That's right. No sharps or flats.

And TWIN providing the "flute."


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty lies. It's more like an Oboe.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Hey Marty, I think that Baboon likes You. Notice the Heart-Shaped ass?

I think He's in LOVE.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Too bad its a male baboon. It doesn't matter to Tubes though. He likes doing male animals.


----------



## StootMonster

Marty is a Friedman wanna be.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Too bad its a male baboon. It doesn't matter to Tubes though. He likes doing male animals.



I thought I explained that with:

I think *HE'S* in love....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

That baboon would be a little loose for Tubes. He would need a mouse or a hamster.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> That baboon would be a little loose for Tubes. He would need a mouse or a hamster.



I hear Marty prefers horses.


----------



## j2112c

Marshall Mann is the love child of Marty and Mr Ed. (who was Mrs Ed before "the change")


----------



## TwinACStacks

JC, who used to be a Veterinary Surgeon, Grafted on Mrs. Ed's "appendage" that turned her into MR. ED.....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN rubbed honey on JC's dick and then licked it clean. Hot Tubes took pictures for the "Ghay Man's Monthly." Although a little sticky, the pictures were a smash hit with the gay crowd.


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> TWIN rubbed honey on JC's dick and then licked it clean. Hot Tubes took pictures for the "Ghay Man's Monthly." Although a little sticky, the pictures were a smash hit with the gay crowd.



..but it was Marty who made the money as he had the rights to it and pimped it all over town... and bought such a classy car he was the talk of the town.. he even had M for Marty put on it...CLASS!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yo Yo Yo! Is it just me or did I get a little dark?


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

LOL !!! ah ...... yep !!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty was caught sucking a fart of Twin's ass today !!!!!!!! Film @ 11:00 !!!!


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Marty was caught sucking a fart of Twin's ass today !!!!!!!! Film @ 11:00 !!!!



HT wants a hit of Marty's ass. As he sings...

Dont bogart that fart my friend.....


----------



## MartyStrat54

Easy boys. There's plenty of ass to go around.


----------



## j2112c

Marty has made it as the first Ronald McDonald Pimp in Georgia...


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

j2112c said:


> Marty has made it as the first Ronald McDonald Pimp in Georgia...



HAAAAAAAA LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!


----------



## j2112c

I hate to bring up my vet days yet again, but...

... my mate Hot Tubes decided to go one better than a Playstation or Wii with this new Kent Smith Horse Controller!

It looks a bit out of place in his living room but as you can see is girlfriend seemed to get "right into it!" 







Jeez what you can find on the internet....


----------



## TwinACStacks

j2112c said:


> I hate to bring up my vet days yet again, but...
> 
> ... my mate Hot Tubes decided to go one better than a Playstation or Wii with this new Kent Smith Horse Controller!
> 
> It looks a bit out of place in his living room but as you can see is girlfriend seemed to get "right into it!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jeez what you can find on the internet....



You should have seen what she did with that Stallion's Pride. She actually embarrassed a couple of Nogales Donkey Club girls...

She took one for the Queen.

 TWIN


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Twin actually never played through a Vox, he loves his Line6 combos more than anything.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Not sure if I quite got it, but I'll take it!


----------



## Georgiatec

Who just happened to be John C`s (very) little sister.

Damn...not quick enough....story of my life!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Georgiatec wants his 5$ back for his haircut !!!!


----------



## j2112c

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Georgiatec wants his 5$ back for his haircut !!!!



Hot Tubes is called Hot Tubes for a reason... a sample of his love tube collection:


----------



## Georgiatec

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Georgiatec wants his 5$ back for his haircut !!!!



Lots of guys my age (51) would quite willingly hand over $5.00 for a haircut...John told the chemist he wanted those "tubes" in the photo for guitar slides


----------



## TwinACStacks

In order to keep all his hair, At 51, Georgiatec decided to get Testosterone implants.....

 TWIN


----------



## j2112c

Georgiatec said:


> Lots of guys my age (51) would quite willingly hand over $5.00 for a haircut...John told the chemist he wanted those "tubes" in the photo for guitar slides



Georgiatic very kindly offered to lube them for extra slide!.... odd the 'turnaround' was quick I suspect he processed them two at a time!


----------



## Georgiatec

Yeah...but the "nut sauce" I used wasn't the one you thought it was


----------



## j2112c

Georgiatec said:


> Yeah...but the "nut sauce" I used wasn't the one you thought it was





BTW I cannot believe you are 51, you are so well preserved.





 Fossil...
Geogiatec always liked to show off his fossilised double jointed member to the girls!


----------



## Georgiatec

My '63 JTM45 and '59 Les Paul are just out of shot in that action photo...you gotta respect that big bony cock though


----------



## Georgiatec

TwinACStacks said:


> In order to keep all his hair, At 51, Georgiatec decided to get Testosterone implants.....
> 
> TWIN



From Twin who just happened to have some spare as he had OD'd last time he used them.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well TWIN was taking the testosterone implants in his arm. Georgiatec on the other hand has been sticking the needle into his nut sack.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Careful Marty! Last I heard you were not too far away from old (pun intended) Twin in years! 

Maybe the nut-sack-attack would do you some good!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yep, I turn 57 in October. I have found that a hot 24 year old chick will arouse me faster than a couple of Viagra's.

I think it's a shame that you have to take pills to get aroused. Of course, if you are banging your fat, hairy, smelly 57 year old wife, I would recommend you do what Hot Tubes does. He gets really drunk.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> Yep, I turn 57 in October. I have found that a hot 24 year old chick will arouse me faster than a couple of Viagra's.
> 
> I think it's a shame that you have to take pills to get aroused. Of course, if you are banging your fat, hairy, smelly 57 year old wife, I would recommend you do what Hot Tubes does. He gets really drunk.



Well Marty, I'm 42 and the 24 year olds have never looked hotter!

I thought HT's wife was 67 Marty? Dyslexic flip?


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall Mann said:


> I thought HT's wife was 67 Marty? Dyslexic flip?



All I know is she is a really big Eskimo that eats a lot of whale blubber.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> All I know is she is a really big Eskimo that eats a lot of whale blubber.



So thats what they call the male appendage in Canada? "Whale Blubber"

OK, I'm starting to feel bad seeing as how HT isnt here to defend himself.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann said:


> So thats what they call the male appendage in Canada? "Whale Blubber"
> 
> OK, I'm starting to feel bad seeing as how HT isnt here to defend himself.



That's 'cause he's trapped _*under*_ his better half.

Although in HT's case it could be his better 3 2/3....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall Mann said:


> OK, I'm starting to feel bad seeing as how HT isnt here to defend himself.



Doesn't bother me one bit. He has stabbed me in the back on this thread many a time.

And I tried to warn him about those fat Eskimo girls.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Doesn't bother me one bit. He has stabbed me in the back on this thread many a time.
> 
> And I tried to warn him about those fat Eskimo girls.




He turned me into a Newt.


 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TwinACStacks said:


> Although in HT's case it could be his better 3 2/3.... TWIN



TWIN...is this Hot Tubes cock size? And if it is, how do you know what it is?


----------



## MartyStrat54

I hope we start a new page soon. I'm tired of coming over here and seeing an arm up a horse's ass.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Alright ya empty headed sons a bitches ! I'm here to defend myself ........

i don't even know where to start !! LOL !!!


You all were jerked off on a rock and let the sun hatch ya !!

.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

j2112c said:


> I hate to bring up my vet days yet again, but...
> 
> ... my mate Hot Tubes decided to go one better than a Playstation or Wii with this new Kent Smith Horse Controller!
> 
> It looks a bit out of place in his living room but as you can see is girlfriend seemed to get "right into it!"
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Jeez what you can find on the internet....






That's disturbing to say the least !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Hey Tubes, it's good to see ya back over here at the Fat Eskimo Women's Love Connection. Thousands of whale blubber eating chicks to turn you on. Right now you can check your matches for free.






No Tubes, you can't marry your daughter.


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Alright ya empty headed sons a bitches ! I'm here to defend myself ........
> 
> i don't even know where to start !! LOL !!!
> 
> 
> You all were jerked off on a rock and let the sun hatch ya !!
> 
> .



Was not! Well OK ,maybe...

So if you weren't there, how would you know HT?

"Marshall Mann, I am your father (who jacked off on that rock), cum to the dark side......"


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> Hey Tubes, it's good to see ya back over here at the Fat Eskimo Women's Love Connection. Thousands of whale blubber eating chicks to turn you on. Right now you can check your matches for free.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> No Tubes, you can't marry your daughter.



Damn Tubes! Your Daughter is hot! Can I talk to her about eating my whale blubber?


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well first I would teach her to "suck" my whale blubber.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> Well first I would teach her to "suck" my whale blubber.



So true Marty! I hear, those Eskimo gals can chew the meat right off the bone if you let em!


----------



## TwinACStacks

I don't know, but I've been told, Eskimo Pussy is mighty cold....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Oh TWIN...that is sooo old.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Oh TWIN...that is sooo old.



Just like US Amigo...

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Old Fucks! Just what Tube's likes.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Most have no teeth , so Blow jobs rock !!


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Most have no teeth , so Blow jobs rock !!



And those are the Boys....


You should see the Girls.

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> And those are the Boys....
> 
> 
> You should see the Girls.
> 
> TWIN



I dont know, she's pretty hot!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

LOL , LOL !!!! Nice !!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marshall Mann said:


> I dont know, she's pretty hot!



yep , she's a real babe !!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Fuck.............. you guys make me laugh !!!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann said:


> I dont know, she's pretty hot!




Hot Tubes has two choices, He Can't jerk off because it will freeze in mid air, so it's the Eskimo Cuties or a Moose (Mooses? Meece?).

He tried it with a Grizzly but it didn't go well.

Faced with the choice, I would break out an Orange Crate and go for the Tall good-looking one....

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> Hot Tubes has two choices, He Can't jerk off because it will freeze in mid air, so it's the Eskimo Cuties or a Moose (Mooses? Meece?).
> 
> He tried it with a Grizzly but it didn't go well.
> 
> Faced with the choice, I would break out an Orange Crate and go for the Tall good-looking one....
> 
> TWIN



Oh man! I am LMAO!!!! Holy crap!!!!

Thanks for being a good sport HT!!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

When the light goes out , you can't see them anyway !!!


LOL !!!!!!!


----------



## NewReligion

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> When the light goes out , you can't see them anyway !!!
> 
> 
> LOL !!!!!!!



HT refuses to shave the Moose's ass. It reminds him of the first time he spent the night in jail.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Know what Hot Tubes calls a Moose with a Shaved Ass?



Honey.


 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Okay, that's enough of slamming Hot Tubes. 20 or so posts of making fun of him.

He has feelings you know.

Make fun of me for a while, then we can start back on TWIN.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Not worry boys ....I've been called worse by better !!!! Haaaaa LOL !!!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

I say we start on Twin NOW !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

The bearded circus lady is still laughing about the time Tubes dropped his shorts. Speaking of short? She thought it was a "Little Smokie."


----------



## TwinACStacks

Know What Marty calls a Moose with a Shaved ass?

Dream Date.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

...and thank you TWIN for shaving it for me.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin likes to take a big warm Moose load on the chin like a good girl !


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

HT likes being the skin on the chin


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Buggs wants to take one on the chin , but he's afraid he might like it .....


----------



## MartyStrat54

What does TUBES have in common with a Harley-Davidson?

They're both big strokers!

(Comes in handy when dealing with them big old moose penises.)


----------



## Marshall Mann

Marty recently admitted that he smells like the bay at low tide.

Or was that he came and went like the tide....


----------



## MartyStrat54

Marshall tried his luck at being a poet, but he sucked at it.

Same with his guitar playing.


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

The only thing the Marty likes more than his Vintage tubes are his Vintage women....the ones that invented tubes


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes hooked me up with this babe. Dig that horn growing out of her forehead.

Unlike me, it always stays hard.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> Tubes hooked me up with this babe. Dig that horn growing out of her forehead.
> 
> Unlike me, it always stays hard.



Honestly Marty, we all know she got that horn from rubbing her forehead on your sack. 

But seriously.........


























OMG! WTF IS that thing on her head!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!

Run away.....and keep running!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

MM is hoping that is her clit so he can stop smelling her ass and having Martys balls giving him black eyes while they tag team her


----------



## MartyStrat54

If she was rubbing that horn on my ball sack, I wouldn't have a ball sack. It would be on the ground in a puddle of blood.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Tubes hooked me up with this babe. Dig that horn growing out of her forehead.
> 
> Unlike me, it always stays hard.



Dude !!! ....that's disturbing !!!
She looks like a mutant off of Deep Space Nine !


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

" Me Love You Long Time G.I. " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty says he lost a testicle in the war , but the truth is he tried to " Tea Bag " The stick lady !!!! Ha he he !!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

That really takes the term "being horny" to whole different level.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

I try my best to bring you the odd and exciting pictures. I wonder how old that horn is? I mean, did she have that when she was 17? Does she have any sisters? Did Tubes fuck any of them?

Nah...he fucked the brothers.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

LMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude !!!! your unbelievable !!!!


Awesome , strait awesome !!!! LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Those pics Rocked !!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

HT came back tonight hoping for more sloppy seconds to the chin


----------



## eljeffebrown

Buggs, always lookin' for the quadruple hand job! Sheep, man, Midgetdwarfmonsterfreak!


----------



## Buggs.Crosby

Jeff wished he could score a babe like that!


----------



## eljeffebrown

Thats all Buggs CAN score, well that, his "wooly" girlfriends, and maybe, just maybe the horned beast above if he's lucky and she's drunk!


----------



## TwinACStacks

eljeffebrown said:


> Thats all Buggs CAN score, well that, his "wooly" girlfriends, and maybe, just maybe the horned beast above if he's lucky and she's drunk!




Jeffe gets HT's sloppy seconds....


 TWIN


----------



## SmokeyDopey

MartyStrat54 said:


>


 

Twin actually got aroused by this.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Smokey actually caught that old woman, cut off her horn, crushed it up and snorted it.

He had heard they were aphrodisiacs and couldn't afford to travel to Africa and shoot a Rhino.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin !!!!!! Look !!!!!

There's someone on your front lawn .......ya better shoot him !

LOL !


----------



## TwinACStacks

Good thing too. I got only One drying hook left out in the shed.

Think I should do some Teriyaki Flavored this time....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Remember Hotel Hell? The old man and woman that buried you alive up to your neck. They would cut your vocal chords and put a sack over your head. When they needed to make more processed meat, they put a rope around your neck and pulled you out with a tractor. This of course would break your neck and kill you.

All the locals thought they had the best tasting sausage in town.


----------



## MartyStrat54

When it comes to eating human flesh, TWIN has always been a "leg" man.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

If she's female .....get'r while she's warm !!!! he he ehe ehe !!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well TWIN's favorite is "Cream of Bung Hole" soup.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> Well TWIN's favorite is "Cream of Bung Hole" soup.




Marty likes a good strong cup of Cumoffme and a Blowme sandwich....


 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin's fav soup is vaginal blood fart with a side order of pus !!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Good grief Tubes, that made me puke. That was really nasty. I've never had a vaginal blood fart before. How are they? Does the pus add a little zing to the taste buds?

:eek2::eek2::eek2::eek2:


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> Good grief Tubes, that made me puke. That was really nasty. I've never had a vaginal blood fart before. How are they? Does the pus add a little zing to the taste buds?
> 
> :eek2::eek2::eek2::eek2:



How would i know .......ask Twin !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Damn. I tried to fool you and you didn't fall for it. Way to go Tubes. You deserve a blow job for that. I'll call the bearded lady. She's retired from the circus, but she still makes house calls if the money is right. How about a $5 blow job? Is that good enough for ya?


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> How would i know .......ask Twin !!



Don't ask me. I can't get beyond the fish market smell...

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN'S girlfriend has a yeast infection so bad, he doesn't have to buy bread anymore.

Ham sandwich anyone?


----------



## SmokeyDopey

We know where Marty buys his bread.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Yep. It's authentic SOURdough all right....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Yuk !!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Tubes likes anything that makes him go, "YUK."


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty would use a straw to suck up a Vaginal Blood Fart just to see the expression on HT's Face.

 TWIN


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Twin sucks at this thread


----------



## TwinACStacks

SmokeyDopey said:


> Twin sucks at this thread




Smokey uses his needledick to molest field Mice....

 TWIN


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Son of a bitch!
Hamsters actually.


Twin takes sloppy seconds after I'm done.


----------



## TwinACStacks

SmokeyDopey said:


> Son of a bitch!
> Hamsters actually.
> 
> 
> Twin takes sloppy seconds after I'm done.



That's why Smokey owns a mess of Happy Hamsters.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

i think that's " Unhappy Hampster's " !!

You 'd be a bit sour after being shoved up Twin's ass ....ahh !!


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> i think that's " Unhappy Hampster's " !!
> 
> You 'd be a bit sour after being shoved up Twin's ass ....ahh !!



HT knows how to keep those hampsters happy


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yeah he whacks off those little hamsters penises.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> Yeah he whacks off those little hamsters penises.



Yep, takes small fingers. And you know what they say about guys with small fingers..........


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

I got nothing ........


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> I got nothing ........



That was the gist of what they were saying....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Magnifying glass, tweezers and a precise, steady hand.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marty's gotta stroke up a boner so he don't piss on his nuts when taking a leak !


----------



## MartyStrat54

Yes, I have a very large nut sack.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

That's not were i was going with that comment ...........And i think you and all your ex wives know the real story !!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Large nut sack.

Sounds a little "squirrely" to me....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Careful they don't bite your nuts Marty , it would be a shame to give the wildlife a STD !!!


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty was doing just fine until the last cocktail party when the hostess, (a fine looking lady), came up with a tray and said to Marty "Nuts"? That was when Marty replied: "Those aren't nuts", as he unzipped his fly, "Check These bad boys out!!!"

 TWIN


----------



## matt3310

TWINS woman is so nice she will give you the hair off her back!


----------



## j2112c

Matt has a perverted dwarf collection, he is keeping them under wraps... every cab in his music room has a couple of them in there... his greatest perversion is to rub his crotch against a full stack of dwarfs while playing Sweet Child O' Mine behind his head... finishing off by shooting his load on what looks like a 1959RR but is in fact simply a multiply stained 1987x in black!


Matt says he sells the 1987RRs on every two months... and a dwarf every two years!


----------



## matt3310

j2112c, you promised not to tell!!!! 








FOR SALE: 1 slightly staind Randy Rhodes amp.......with FREE dwarf! 


And no j2112c you cannot be my replacement Dwarf. You already had your turn!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Matt only has one Strat. He Photoshops the color on it and makes people believe he has a bunch of them.


----------



## j2112c

Marty is the secret love child of Jacque Cousteau the famous marine film maker and Flipper the Dolphin (who unbeknown to Jaqcue was a female dolphin - Jacque thought he had a young male).... 

Behind the scenes of the film making was pretty sordid, but Flipper (who changed her name from Fillipa with an 'F' not a 'ph') got her own show from the casting couch!!

Though a lot of piss taking was dished out at school Marty turned out out to be pretty well adjusted... if a little funny looking..


































Obviously Marty sports that french Cousteau nose!


----------



## TwinACStacks

"They call him Marty,Marty,Marty, Faster than lightning. No one you see, is smarter than he. And we know Marty,Marty,Marty, lives in a world full of wonder, Lying there under....Under the Sea."

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

*How big is my dick???*


----------



## j2112c

MartyStrat54 said:


> *How big is my dick???*






Marty is the inventor of the optomotron a periscopic device which uses mirrors to allow fat men with bellies that permenantly obscure their genitalia from view to literally see around the the belly and inspect the member!


Unfortunately much psychological damage was done when he put a size x3 lens as the final lens not a x10.... hence reducing the image by 30%! 
Like Marty, having not seen their penises for up to 15 years his customers were shocked to find it far smaller than they remembered! 
Some thought it had shrunk with age!

Since the mistake has been identified Marty is currently fighting legal claims for psychological harm, though due to the nature of the device.. very few claimants are coming forward.


----------



## TwinACStacks

MartyStrat54 said:


> *How big is my dick???*



 I don't know but Hot Tubes is grinning like a Motherf8cker....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin's dream date .........his right hand & a jar of KY !!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN realized at an early age that he was adapt at beating off with either hand. He even used his feet. Now that he is older, he is an old pro at whacking his candy.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marty has his circus monkey trained to handle the small jobs....

 TWIN


----------



## SmokeyDopey

If Twin's Vox had genitals, he would masturbate it 24/7. Even if it is male.


----------



## TwinACStacks

SmokeyDopey said:


> If Twin's Vox had genitals, he would masturbate it 24/7. Even if it is male.



Amplifiers are NEVER Male.

Unless they are SS or those Cross-Dressing 900's....

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

Check out the look on TWIN's new girlfriend's face after he dropped his pants!






I don't know if this is, "Oh yeah!" or "Oh no!"


----------



## MartyStrat54

Oh I'm sorry. TWIN likes black chix!






YUMMY!


----------



## TwinACStacks

I'd do her.

 TWIN


----------



## MartyStrat54

I can post "it" on the BACK DOOR thread if you like.


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> I can post "it" on the BACK DOOR thread if you like.



Look Marty, what you "post" on Twins "back door" is your own business!


----------



## TwinACStacks

I'm embarrassed.

As Marty sighs: "I love the way MM's adams apple quivers in the bright moonlight"....

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

Judging by the pic of your friend above, I know you,re not jealous of my Adams apple Twin


----------



## MartyStrat54

TWIN was commenting about MM's Adam's apple, when in reality, he was hung up on MM's "pear" shaped ass.

TWIN would like to see that "quiver in the bright moonlight."


----------



## Marshall Mann

MartyStrat54 said:


> TWIN was commenting about MM's Adam's apple, when in reality, he was hung up on MM's "pear" shaped ass.
> 
> TWIN would like to see that "quiver in the bright moonlight."



Marty, you are giving my 40 year old man ass way too much credit with your "pear" compliment. It's much closer to two 2"x6" planks laid side my side. Pressure treated planks to boot.

I am sure how ever, that Twin is now even more turned by my ass.


----------



## MartyStrat54

*lmao*


----------



## TwinACStacks

Mann, I was hoping you had a bubble butt.....

 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

How cools it that when you first come to this page you see this quote from Marty? 



> Marty Strat - *How big is my dick*???



Twin! Stop staring at my ass!!!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Well after all, I am Porpoise Boy with a very long cock.


----------



## TwinACStacks

My Cock is bigger:






 TWIN


----------



## Marshall Mann

Both those pics are creeping me out! 

Twin, you had better pluck that thing!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Look at that barn door in the cock picture. It looks like an old radioactive warning sign. No wonder that cock got so big.

(Imagine what that cock could do with those talons? He'd tear that farmer up to shreds.)


----------



## MartyStrat54

My cock is twice as big as my porpoise nose. WOW!!!


----------



## Crispus E. Shays

You lost your dick in Vietnam from punji sticks. Then you replaced it with a Fender Tele neck. =]


----------



## MartyStrat54

Crispus teaches young male monkeys to beat him off. He spray paints his wiener yellow.

However, this doesn't help that much, because it's so dang small.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MartyStrat54 said:


> My cock is twice as big as my porpoise nose. WOW!!!



The head of my cob looks like the top of a bran muffin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## gsf1200r

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> The head of my cob looks like the top of a bran muffin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



yeh but its not as big as the hotubes you fill your mangina with


----------



## TwinACStacks

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> The head of my cob looks like the top of a bran muffin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Marty could use a little fiber in his diet.

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

TwinACStacks said:


> Marty could use a little fiber in his diet.
> 
> TWIN



LOL !!!! .......and maybe some protein perhaps !!!


----------



## j2112c

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> LOL !!!! .......and maybe some protein perhaps !!!



eeeeeew!

No No NO Hot Tubes calm down get off me! I eww as in Yuk not EWE as in sheep... put it away man!


----------



## MartyStrat54

77 pages of fun times with a great bunch of guys.

What the hell happened?


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Marty would NEVER dress up as a girl...


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

Smokey Dopey always reports use of illegal drugs to the law.


----------



## gdh1532

Feeling supersonic would never touch balls with a tranny.


----------



## MartyStrat54

gdh has small hands.


----------



## jvm210guy

Marty and I are actually brother and sister....


----------



## Alt Freak

jvm's new Les Paul is ugly


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Alt Freak loves the term "butthurt".

He can't get enough of it. BUTTHURT BUTTHURT BUTTHURT BUTTHURT


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

SmokeyDopey cruises for chic's at his family reunion !


----------



## Australian

Hot Tubes still hasnt paid me for using my idea for a name of his pedal 'LavaDrive.'


----------



## Alt Freak

Australian isn't Australian


----------



## Australian

Alt Freak said:


> Australian isn't Australian



oops


----------



## Alt Freak

Australian said:


> oops


Now that was a good lie!


----------



## Australian

Alt has unleashed a new line of underwear called Butthurt.


----------



## jvm210guy

Aus is the darth vador


----------



## bulldozer1984

jvm210guy said:


> Aus is the darth vador



JVMguy has 3 testi's. 2 out front 1 out back. Problem is, they all touch.


----------



## Marshall Mann

The thread lives! It lives!!!!!

Bulldozer knows this from first "hand" experience.


----------



## Söulcaster

MM rates Kevin Costner as his fave actor and his favourite movie of all time is Waterworld


----------



## jvm210guy

Soulcaster loves the penis...


----------



## bulldozer1984

jvm210guy said:


> Soulcaster loves the penis...



JVMguy is like heaps smart..


----------



## jvm210guy

bulldozer1984 said:


> JVMguy is like heaps smart..



That's mean, dude lol


----------



## Söulcaster

JVM is not a member of the KKK


----------



## bulldozer1984

jvm210guy said:


> That's mean, dude lol



lol sorry dude.. Ill fix it..

JVMguy is like heaps dumb


----------



## jvm210guy

Ya bro, we're cool!

*writing bulldozer on my shit list*


----------



## bulldozer1984

jvm210guy said:


> Ya bro, we're cool!
> 
> *writing bulldozer on my shit list*



JVMguy does not have the biggest cock on this forum 

*slowly getting myself off his shitlist*


----------



## Alt Freak




----------



## Feeling Supersonic

Alt Freak approached Grunch's manner in his signature terribly.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

^^^^
Margaret Thatcher's #1 fan.


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

This guy knows what a lie is.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Doesn't get aroused with the thought of balls touching each other.


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

This guy knows nothing about a members libido.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

SuperSonic & smokeyDopey like to touch each other in that " Special place " !!

LOL !!

( I should take some heat for that comment !) 

he he he ...


----------



## Marshall Mann

HT knows, he filmed it once.


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

Marshall Mann doesn't have a split personality and his Mesa and Marshalls never cause arguments at the dinner table.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Supersonic has a glide approach of a brick (or a Crate amp).


----------



## bulldozer1984

MartyStrat is the worst tube vendor on the net


----------



## Söulcaster

Bulldozer doesnt have a collection of Mardi Gras Dvds


----------



## Australian

Soulcaster was hurt when Bulldozer didnt let him step in with the harmonica for a song or two, at Bulldozers recent gig.


----------



## Söulcaster

Aus wouldn't know a troll if it bit him on the ass!


----------



## MartyStrat54

Soulcaster wants to start a P and R thread in the "Marshall Amps" section.


----------



## Australian

Martys avatar is advertising personal services.


----------



## bulldozer1984

Marty has the biggest collection of dildos in the world !


----------



## Australian

Bulldozer really works at a graveyard digging six foot holes.


----------



## Söulcaster

Dozer wants me to write a harmonica solo to one of his song so we can do it at MardiGras


----------



## MartyStrat54

Soulcaster actually lives in New Zealand.


----------



## Söulcaster

Martys wonderin if I have any sheep to share, I mean shear


----------



## bulldozer1984

Soulcaster is trying to quit smoking. Quit smoking pole that is.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Bulldozer got arrested for assaulting a full stack.


----------



## bulldozer1984

Marty got arrested for indecent exposure. He was caught with his pants down in public with 8 hot bitches taking turns givin him head !


----------



## Australian

bulldozer1984 said:


> Marty got arrested for indecent exposure. He was caught with his pants down in public with 8 hot bitches taking turns givin him head !



8 hot bitches-sounds plausible. I thought we were supposed to make up a lie.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

When Australian turned 13 , he thought he had a pubic hair ...until he pissed out of it !!!


----------



## bulldozer1984

That was the first time Hot Tubes said something that was funny.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Bulldozer's got enough lip for two sets of teeth .....

LOL !!


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

Wishes he was American


----------



## Hollowbody

Feeling Supersonic doesn't eat giant stinky hairy mancock

...daily


----------



## Hollowbody

Oh, wait, did I get that wrong? If it's a lie and I say doesn't ...

eh fukit. 2 negatives don't = a positive, right?

So yeah

Feeling Supersonic isn't a cockeater.

Yeah that's right.


----------



## bulldozer1984

Hollowbody jerks off to gay pron. Fat gay pron.


----------



## MartyStrat54

Bulldozer is a blue boy. 

Hope you know what that means.


----------



## bulldozer1984

MartyStrat54 said:


> Bulldozer is a blue boy.
> 
> Hope you know what that means.



Dude, not only am i Aussie, im still a baby. What is this blue boy in which you speak ??


----------



## Marshall Mann

Bulldozer, Google that shit. 

Bulldozer is the cover model of Blueboy this month.


----------



## Australian

Marshall Mann won his 6000 posts in the lottery.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Aus is the one who told me what a Blueboy was....he has a subscription.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

MM is still breast fed by his mommy ....


----------



## drewz120

Hot tubes doesnt mod pedals, he mods homosexual sex toys for male pleasure


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

drewz120 said:


> Hot tubes doesnt mod pedals, he mods homosexual sex toys for male pleasure



How's your new OFA anal vibrator working !!!


----------



## bulldozer1984

Haha nice 1 Marty I googled it but didn't see the magazine haha. Thanks MM.


----------



## bulldozer1984

HOT TUBES is actually an illegal immigrant. He caught a boat in 1936 from the jangajanga province in Northern Africa. He is black


----------



## gdh1532

Bulldozers favorite amp is a peavey deuce.


----------



## Söulcaster

GDH couldnt tell a decent joke if his life depended on it


----------



## drewz120

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> How's your new OFA anal vibrator working !!!



Im not sure, it was a gift for soulcaster


----------



## StootMonster

Drew has a thing for Sean Connery's cat.


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

StootMonster! it's a shame you're posting again!


----------



## trigmachine

Supersonic's fav food is blue waffle


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

trigmachine followed the motto within his signature.


----------



## bulldozer1984

Feeling Super's name is inspired by moments of intoxication from his DRUG HABIT !


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Bulldozer has 3 appointments a day at the sperm clinic , he says its hard to get the taste out of his mouth if he goes anymore ....


----------



## Australian

Hot Tubes has been known to do a switcheroo with your vintage Tubescreamer chip when youre not looking.


----------



## Marshall Mann

StootMonster said:


> Drew has a thing for Sean Connery's cat.



Stoots is in the HOUSE!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Australian's avatar is more that it seems, he's really in to guys with "dark helmets".


----------



## bulldozer1984

Marshall Mann said:


> Australian's avatar is more that it seems, he's really in to guys with "dark helmets".



Marshall Mann's favourite sexual position is the Dirty Sanchez, with men lol


----------



## Australian

Bulldozer stills yells and screams when he walks through the toy truck isle, and his wife doesnt allow him to buy one.


----------



## bulldozer1984

Australian said:


> Bulldozer stills yells and screams when he walks through the toy truck isle, and his wife doesnt allow him to buy one.



Australian wishes he was still young enough..............



















to be able to WALK down toy truck aisle


----------



## Hollowbody




----------



## Hollowbody

Hollowbody hates vagina.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Hollowbody has been experimenting with gravity manipulation lately.


----------



## Hollowbody

I wish.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Hollowbody gives a really big fuck about this thread.


----------



## Australian

SmokeyDobey makes baskets and handbags, thats why he has a hemp plantation.


----------



## crossroadsnyc

Australian said:


> SmokeyDobey makes baskets and handbags, thats why he has a hemp plantation.



Australian has a problem spelling, as seen above in his reference to SmokeyDobey ... in fact, it's such bad spelling that his real name is AUSTRIAN!


----------



## Söulcaster

crossroads really yearns for the country life =)


----------



## Marshall Mann

They say we all sprang from apes, but Soulcaster didn't spring far enough.


----------



## bulldozer1984

Marshall Mann said:


> They say we all sprang from apes, but Soulcaster didn't spring far enough.



hahahaha nice 1..

Marshall MAN ?? please !!! He's really a woman


----------



## Marshall Mann

bulldozer1984 said:


> hahahaha nice 1..
> 
> Marshall MAN ?? please !!! He's really a woman



Yeah, but you cant hold it against him Errr..ah....her! 

Wait, did I just bash on myself!


----------



## Marshall Mann

bulldozer1984 said:


> hahahaha nice 1..
> 
> Marshall MAN ?? please !!! He's really a woman



Bulldozer is more bull than dozer.


----------



## bulldozer1984

What does that even mean man ! Lol 

Marshall Mann is not wearing his mums underwear atm


----------



## Söulcaster

Dozers real name is Eugene


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Soulcaster wants to move to Canada and drink really good Beer !


----------



## Söulcaster

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Soulcaster wants to move to Canada and drink really good Beer !



thats not a lie I've always wanted to go to Canada, the beer is a gimme


----------



## Söulcaster

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Soulcaster wants to move to Canada and drink really good Beer !



Hot tubes thinks Australia should ban topless sun baking on it's beaches, it disgusts him


----------



## Marshall Mann

Söulcaster said:


> Hot tubes thinks Australia should ban topless sun baking on it's beaches, it disgusts him



Only because he saw those pics you posted of your mother in her best bikini.


----------



## Söulcaster

Marshall Mann said:


> Only because he saw those pics you posted of your mother in her best bikini.



Thats just out of line MM, everybody knows my mom goes the full monty and attends "clothing optional" beaches only. 

MM has always wanted to open his own men only nudist colony


----------



## bulldozer1984

Marshall Mann said:


> Only because he saw those pics you posted of your mother in her best bikini.





PURE GOLD !!!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Söulcaster said:


> Thats just out of line MM, everybody knows my mom goes the full monty and attends "clothing optional" beaches only.
> 
> MM has always wanted to open his own men only nudist colony



ROLF! 

And you know SC, your 100% right. But it's true only because HT just showed me the picks of your mum in the full monty!


----------



## Söulcaster

Marshall Mann said:


> ROLF!
> 
> And you know SC, your 100% right. But it's true only because HT just showed me the picks of your mum in the full monty!



You guys are just upset because when your moms go the full monty at the beach everyone throws buckets of water on em and tries to roll em back into the water


----------



## Maggot Brain

I was the one that took those photos! I didn't think they would get out... your mom is going to kill me....


----------



## Marshall Mann

Maggot Brain said:


> I was the one that took those photos! I didn't think they would get out... your mom is going to kill me....



Maggot Brian actually collects pics of moms on the beach. He calls his collection YMILFIB - "Your Mothers I'd like to F*@k in Bikinis"


----------



## bulldozer1984

MM's mumma is so fat she ate Jenny and Craig !


----------



## Marshall Mann

I'd ask Bulldozer how old he is, but we all know he count that high.


----------



## Jasper.

bulldozer1984 said:


> MM's mumma is so fat she ate Jenny and Craig !



Bulldozer is so fat he doesn't fit in MM's mothers stomach...


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

Jasper. 

England 5 - 0 Holland 


 Enjoy the ass wooping!


----------



## Jasper.

Feeling Supersonic said:


> Jasper.
> 
> England 5 - 0 Holland
> 
> 
> Enjoy the ass wooping!



Luckily for me i don't give a shit about soccer 

Edit: wait, i now see it still has got to be played, how do you know it is gonna be 5-0?


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Alright you sorry sacks of shit ....its ON !!!


We need to revive this thread ...


You all suck my hairy ball sack .........bring it !!!!!


----------



## HeHasTheJazzHands

Hot Tubes traded his 6100 for a 4100.


----------



## bulldozer1984

Jazzhands wanks off in the corner while his parents have sex !


----------



## Söulcaster

Dozer bought that LP becuase it matches his soft toy tiger he sleeps with every nite.


----------



## Grenade

Soulcaster listens to Yanni on a daily basis.


----------



## elcid

Grenade doesn't love the cock


----------



## bulldozer1984

Elcid wishes he was born a man. Could have saved on Surgery


----------



## Blue72

bulldozers ancestors were all criminals shipped to Australia from Britain.


----------



## Micky

Blue72 said:


> bulldozers ancestors were all criminals shipped to Australia from Britain.



That's not a lie. Try again...


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Frogbreath wanted to clean up the drippings with his tongue !


----------



## HeHasTheJazzHands

frogbreath said:


> Micky has had a threesome with Penn & Teller...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ... More than once.



...Why would I strangely consider that an honor?


----------



## elcid

Jazz hands had an orgy with all 4 of the Golden Girls......last month


----------



## bulldozer1984

Elcid has been pimped out by his father since the age of 7. The problem is that the clientel were the mates down the local.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Dozer was at the gay bar last week , and another patron asked him " may i push in your stool " 

Dozer replied " Don't mind if you do , just spit on it first " !


----------



## Marshall Mann

HT know as he was in the corner of the gay bar getting a handy at the time.


----------



## bulldozer1984

LMFAO HT !!!

MM just finished sucking his Mum's dick !!!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Frogbreath will never be the man his mother is.


----------



## bulldozer1984

marshall mann said:


> frogbreath will never be the man his mother is.



lmfao mm !!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

BullDozer said he had fun flossing his teeth with Marshall Mann's ass hair's !!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Anybody know what HT calls the fat that forms around a pussy?






























His wife.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Marshall Mann's last job was a semen taster ........but he was fired for drinking on the job !!


----------



## bulldozer1984

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Marshall Mann's last job was a semen taster ........but he was fired for drinking on the job !!



HT's Mum is like a TV. Even a 3 year old can turn her on !!


----------



## Australian

Bulldozer was caught putting a bra and panties on his new Les Paul for some raunchy poolside shots.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Australian said:


> Bulldozer was caught putting a bra and panties on his new Les Paul for some raunchy poolside shots.



Yeah, but those panties were used....and they were Granny panties.


----------



## bulldozer1984

Frogbreath's handle is mis-leading. 'Frog' is code for 'cock'


----------



## Jasper.

When reading this thread i found out bulldozer sure loves his cocks.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Bulldozer & Jasper now have this love of cocks in common .....


----------



## Marshall Mann

frogbreath said:


> ...From MarshallMann's personal collection!



Being that you are one of the few to actually see my crusty panty collection, only you would know for sure FB.


----------



## Marshall Mann

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Bulldozer & Jasper now have this love of cocks in common .....



And the same bad breath.


----------



## Australian

Marshall Man(n) used two "n's" to let forumites know he is attracted to men.


----------



## bulldozer1984

Australian aint even Australian. His name is Giuseppe


----------



## Australian

bulldozer1984 said:


> Australian aint even Australian. His name is Giuseppe


lol. I was going to say, "at least spell Giuseppie correctly" and had to google it myself, and you were right I was wrong. 







Bulldozers real name is Joe Dolce:
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFacWGBJ_cs]Shaddap You Face - Joe Dolce - YouTube[/ame]


----------



## Harlequin tusk

Austrailian loves MESA and his Marshalls are all rented


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

HTusk likes jam out on his Ukulele plugged into a CRATE !!


----------



## Marshall Mann

Thats actually Aus in the pink shirt...nice accordion solo man! And hey, is there a hole in the back of that accordion or what?


----------



## bulldozer1984

Marshall Mann said:


> Thats actually Aus in the pink shirt...nice accordion solo man! And hey, is there a hole in the back of that accordion or what?



the only '6100' that MM knows about is that thats the combined age of the last 10 women he has slept with


----------



## Marshall Mann

frogbreath said:


> Dozer _didn't_ just spend thousands of dollar on a guitar thats all fucked up...



Frogbreath got his nickname from the smell of his breath after he goes down on his girlfriend.


----------



## bulldozer1984

frogbreath said:


> Dozer _didn't_ just spend thousands of dollar on a guitar thats all fucked up...



A little low, dont ya think ??? 

Anyways, when MM plays out, he puts his Mesa in a Marshall head-case.. Just to fit in.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Dozer likes to air guitar to Australian AM radio naked !!!


----------



## Söulcaster

When HT's missus told him she likes Bukkake, he replied that he doesn't really go for Chinese food.


----------



## bulldozer1984

A little while back I asked Soulcaster over to jam but he said he was busy. On his way to the Mardi Gras


----------



## Söulcaster

Dozer and Aus often get together to share some Blue Waffle


----------



## Australian

Soulcaster was caught stalking a Bob Halford lookalike at the recent Sydney Mardi Gras.


----------



## diesect20022000

Aussie secretly loves metal


----------



## Australian

diesect20022000 said:


> Aussie secretly loves metal


I do love Metal. I was just listening to Dream Theater in the car. 

Diessect is really a Paganini fanboy.


----------



## Söulcaster

Aus's Marshal stacks is a way for him to over compensate for his little peepee

PS I didn't go to Mardi GRAS this year it rained /lol
Rob Halford Phwoarrrr


----------



## Marshall Mann

Söulcaster said:


> Aus's Marshal stacks is a way for him to over compensate for his little peepee
> 
> PS I didn't go to Mardi GRAS this year it rained /lol
> Rob Halford Phwoarrrr



So not to derail the "Roast a Member" thread, but I was reminded of the greatness that this thread once owned when everyone here got along.

So here's to the Forum being awesome again! 

Harmony rules! 

Thank you all!

Now please proceed with dissing each other!


----------



## Australian

Marshall Mann said:


> So not to derail the "Roast a Member" thread, but I was reminded of the greatness that this thread once owned when everyone here got along.
> 
> So here's to the Forum being awesome again!
> 
> Harmony rules!
> 
> Thank you all!
> 
> Now please proceed with dissing each other!



MarshallMan has JC2112 and MartyStrat quotes on his bedroom wall.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Australian's sister is still a virgin ........ he could never catch her he said !!!


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

I love this thread ......


----------



## Marshall Mann

That warmed the cockles of my heart Aussie! Your quotes are directly above my bed! 

Aussie has a puny amp in his avatar (he really believes that size does not matter, but it's how you use what you have that counts).


----------



## Maggot Brain

I'm sure this was already said a billion times but

Marshall Mann is really Fender Mann, he's just really afraid of rejection.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Maggot Brain said:


> I'm sure this was already said a billion times but
> 
> Marshall Mann is really Fender Mann, he's just really afraid of rejection.



Maybe once or twice.... And I recall some comments about my Mesa as well. 

Maggot Brian is a closet Britney Spears fan. He says the maggots in his brain told him to do it after he ate those bath salts.


----------



## Söulcaster

MM's dream of being an olympian was shattered when he found out "leap frog" was not a sport.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Söulcaster said:


> MM's dream of being an olympian was shattered when he found out "leap frog" was not a sport.



Yeah, and I was really bummed when they told me the three legged race was off the list too! What the hell!


----------



## Bubba po

Marshall Mann saved loyalty coupons from bottles of poppers and collected enough to get himself a Teak patio set.


----------



## Hipshot

He can't stand teles


----------



## Marshall Mann

Bubba Po says he's a Pixies fan. Any guesses which one's his favorite?


----------



## bulldozer1984

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Australian's sister is still a virgin ........ he could never catch her he said !!!


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

me and bulldozer1984 had a romp at a gig once, I tweaked his treble shaft as he maneuvered my valves - some say it was Marshall Law.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Marshall Mann sucks all the light out of a Room....

 TWIN


----------



## bulldozer1984

Twin dont even have a lawn


----------



## Bubba po

bulldozer1984 said:


> Twin dont even have a lawn


 
Twin is an only child.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Bubba po said:


> Twin is an only child.



 It was PURELY a case of survival of the fittest, they had to be eaten.

 TWIN


----------



## NewReligion

Twin owns 51% Stock of AstroTurf.


----------



## bvoris

NewReligion has twelve pound balls.


----------



## Bubba po

Bvoris has twelve 1lb balls.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

/\ /\ /\

Lunch lady


----------



## Bubba po

^^^^

Once scored a key of oregano.


----------



## Marshall Mann

^^^^^

Helped him smoke it.


----------



## Marshall Mann

TwinACStacks said:


> Marshall Mann sucks all the light out of a Room....
> 
> TWIN



And the occasional Rolex off of LFH wrist.............


----------



## TwinACStacks

NewReligion said:


> Twin owns 51% Stock of AstroTurf.



 David likes Green Merkins

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin's a very athletic guy , he get's this from dogging a coat hanger for 9 months in his mom's whom !! he he he ........


----------



## NewReligion

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Twin's a very athletic guy , he get's this from dogging a coat hanger for 9 months in his mom's whom !! he he he ........



HT's original user name was Test Tubes.


----------



## Hipshot

His tubes are about as hot as liquid nitrogen


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Hipshot lives in Norway , but would way rather live in Canada !!


----------



## Hipshot

HOT TUBES 70 said:


> Hipshot lives in Norway , but would way rather live in Canada !!



Wait a minute. The thread said to make up a _*lie! *_


----------



## NewReligion

Hipshot and Hot Tubes started a new band call Hot Shot and the Twin Pubic Wigs.


----------



## hellride

NewReligion used to be a lumberjack now he dresses up in high heels, wears suspenders and a bra.


----------



## Australian

Hellride visits little old ladies on his chopper for cookies and milk, and other things.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Australian swims Counter-clockwise.

 TWIN


----------



## 50WPLEXI

TwinACStacks was the man in the Barney costume, true story


----------



## NewReligion

50WPlexi is the Farting Preacher.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AEN5BzwJGI]Best of Farting Preacher (Condensed).wmv - YouTube[/ame]


----------



## 50WPLEXI

NewReligion's dream was to be one of The Fly Girls on In Living Color. Sadly he was turned down cause his booty wasn't big enough.


----------



## TwinACStacks

50Plexi is REALLY only an 18watter....

 TWIN


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Twin wants to change his MAF name to TWINJMDSTACKS !


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

HOT TUBES 70 is actually in denial. 

Certainly, his actual usage in relation to his username is that fact he sells 'HOT LUBES' on the black market for teens... [an assortment of different hot lubes for kinky times ahead]. 

Hmmmmm teens


----------



## 50WPLEXI

TwinACStacks said:


> 50Plexi is REALLY only an 18watter....
> 
> TWIN




I knew it would surface eventually. Perhaps I need Extenz to increase the wattage!


----------



## bvoris

50wplexi uses a crate 20w amp with a boss ds-1 and claims to be eddie van halen


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

BVORIS claims to have " Obi wan Can-obi Tone "


----------



## Australian

Hot Tubes started out modding his mums , and her friends' sewing machine pedals.


----------



## HOT TUBES 70

Australian said:


> Hot Tubes started out modding his mums , and her friends' sewing machine pedals.





Yep , indeed my humble beginnings !!!
But .... boy could they sew the fuck out of of anything after !!!


----------



## hellride

The 70 in Hot Tubes nick stands fo his girlfriends age


----------



## 50WPLEXI

hellride said:


> The 70 in Hot Tubes nick stands fo his girlfriends age




hellride still:

Sleeps with a night light on.

Gets the crust cut off his PB&J sandwiches.

Gives his veggies to the dog when no ones looking.


----------



## Australian

50WPLEXI owns no guitars. But has some of the best Bauzoukis in the land.


----------



## hellride

AUSTRALIAN has no teeth and plays the banjo


----------



## Australian

Hellrides girlfriend recently had a tracking device installed in her false teeth.


----------



## NewReligion

Australian said:


> Hellrides girlfriend recently had a tracking device installed in her false teeth.



Instead of a Reach Around, Australian has a new move he calls the Down Under. It involves unfortunate toothless members of society.


----------



## TwinACStacks

N.R. can't remember his last reach around...

 TWIN


----------



## Australian

Twin has spent this mOnth being fascinated with midi.


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

Australian is South African.


----------



## 7daysofhell

Feeling Supersonic actually thinks Australia is in South Africa.....!


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

Before 7daysofhell found out, believed that Washington D.C was in London UK.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

FS: Obnoxious tree hugger


----------



## Australian

SmokeyDopey often mimes to Baker Street at parties ,using his bong as a saxaphone.

Im lol'ing at this one myself.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

haha you do have a pretty funny image...



Australian still gets yelled at for not taking out the trash


----------



## 50WPLEXI

SmokeyDopey has an extensive collection of back hair from the 1800's


----------



## Bubba po

50WPlexi has more guitar pedals than he has friends.


----------



## 50WPLEXI

Bubba po said:


> 50WPlexi has more guitar pedals than he has friends.



Oh shit, someone that actually knows me...


----------



## DirtySteve

50WPLEXI is still looking for the best "Fender in a box" pedal.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Dirty Steve used to date the St. Pauli Girl...

 TWIN


----------



## DirtySteve

Twin wasn't jealous, he just to likes to watch.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Steve says he dated the St Pauli Girl, but truth is he just rubbed one out to the poster he had above his bed as a kid.


----------



## DirtySteve

As a kid?!! oh yeah, right...as a kid...

I think maybe Marshall Mann must like to watch, too. 


(that was lame, but I'm losing my buzz and really I suck at this)


----------



## SmokeyDopey

DirtySteve doesn't believe in soap.


----------



## Marshall Mann

Smokey is a pro at dropping the soap.


----------



## DirtySteve

SmokeyDopey said:


> DirtySteve doesn't believe in soap.



Smokey Dopey thinks it's still Movember!


----------



## tonefreak

DirtySteve said:


> Smokey Dopey thinks it's still Movember!





its not?

damn. that means i can finally shave this damn quilt off my face.




dirty steve once fit jonny cash's entire middle finger up his ass.


----------



## Bubba po

tonefreak said:


> dirty steve once fit jonny cash's entire middle finger up his ass.


 
This event caused the song "Ring of Fire" to be written.


----------



## hellride

Bubba Po calls himself yummie poo when no one's around


----------



## bvoris

hellride really just rides the bus to school


----------



## 50WPLEXI

Here are the lost bvoris home movies of his early days..
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UObAOlb8tCk&feature=related[/ame]


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

50WPLEXI, opened up his Wampler reverb pedal looking for a spring.


----------



## 2203xman

Supersonic is hiding stolen moon rocks under his bed.


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

2203xman, hasn't seen that horror film Apollo 18 about moon rock. Thus I have no rocks even in my garden anymore.


----------



## TwinACStacks

FS has no stones....

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

twin took 'em.


----------



## TwinACStacks

I gave them to Tone to use for wheel chocks for his Piper Cub.

 TWIN


----------



## tonefreak

They weren't big enough. the damn plane got blown away anyways!


----------



## TwinACStacks

tonefreak said:


> They weren't big enough. the damn plane got blown away anyways!



 You are saying FS had small stones?

 TWIN


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Twin is the co-founder of Line 6


----------



## tonefreak

TwinACStacks said:


> You are saying FS had small stones?
> 
> TWIN




something like that!




Smokey once mistook a Dandeelion for Pot.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Hey man, it happens!




Tonefeak always declined any offering of fishsticks to him, thinking he was being offered Fish dicks.


----------



## 50WPLEXI

SmokeyDopey wants to take the X, out of sex :eek2:


----------



## TwinACStacks

50 Watt wants the extra X to make himself 50WPLEXXI.....

 TWIN


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

TwinACStacks always makes total sense.


----------



## 50WPLEXI

Feeling Supersonic is actually Turning Japanese, I really think so, think so....


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

50WPLEXI has found the plot.


----------



## Leendrix

Thinks Marshall amps suck. ^


----------



## Australian

Leendrix is translated to "small dick" in English.


----------



## Leendrix

The poster above me is smelly.


----------



## Australian

the poster above me is internet talk for garden gnome.


----------



## Leendrix

The poster above me talks with fighting words.


----------



## Australian

The poster above is trying desperately to chalk up double figures.


----------



## Leendrix

The poster above me is wrong about his statement.


----------



## Australian

The poster above me is a pizza delivery boy.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Australian said:


> The poster above is trying desperately to chalk up double figures.



 Me too.

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Australian and Leendrix were once in a Gay Porn movie: BrokeDick Mountain...

 TWIN


----------



## Feeling Supersonic

TwinACStacks said:


> Porn movie: BrokeDick Mountain...



Seen it, cool movie.


----------



## Australian

FeelingSupersonic was one of the movies most avid followers on Twitter.


----------



## SmokeyDopey

Australian is actually the grandmother of one of the forum members, but hides behind the screen name to monitor her grandson's activities on the forum.


----------



## Far Rider

SmokeyDopey said:


> Australian is actually the grandmother of one of the forum members, but hides behind the screen name to monitor her grandson's activities on the forum.



That's a lie?


----------



## Leendrix

The poster above me hates Jimi Hendrix.


----------



## bvoris

Leendrix doesn't know who Jimi Hendrix is...


----------



## TwinACStacks

Jimi doesn't know who Bvoris is...

 TWIN


----------



## bulldozer1984

Twin's JMD knows who TWIN is and wishes it was someone else playing with it.


----------



## Australian

Bulldozer is secretly taking online guitar lessons with George Lynch for $500 an hour.
He asks "can I learn Mr Scary this week?" but George keeps saying maybe next lesson.


----------



## TwinACStacks

bulldozer1984 said:


> Twin's JMD knows who TWIN is and wishes it was someone else playing with it.



 You have NO idea....

 TWIN


----------



## TwinACStacks

Australian said:


> Bulldozer is secretly taking online guitar lessons with George Lynch for $500 an hour.
> He asks "can I learn Mr Scary this week?" but George keeps saying maybe next lesson.



Australian is secretly Eric Johnson.

 TWIN


----------



## bulldozer1984

Twin has no idea


----------



## TwinACStacks

Dozer eats Vegemite...

*shivers*

 TWIN


----------



## Australian

Twin chooses marmite over vegimite only because its made in England.


----------



## TwinACStacks

Australian loves Peanut Butter as well....

 TWIN


----------



## Australian

Twin shops for his stage costumes at the same place as David Byrne .


----------



## paul-e-mann

Australian is really not Australian, he just fakes the accent to impress the girls.


----------



## TwinACStacks

pedecamp isn't really a pedephile.... His fanbase also includes teenage girls.

 TWIN


----------

